Greetings, Capitol Wasteland, from the great Three Dog! How's everyone doing out there, on this fine Tuesday morning of August 21, 2277? Hopefully things aren't looking too bad.

As you oh-so-astute listeners have no doubt noticed, Galaxy News Radio is once again broadcasting loud and proud across the entire Capitol Wasteland, and I've got an update for all you cats that have been kept in the dark for all this time. Our story begins five days ago, on Friday the 17th, with, get this, the opening of Vault 101. You know, that bomb shelter out by Megaton that's been locked tight for the past two hundred years? Yep, someone finally popped that sucker open, a scientist by the name of Yukari. Ms. Yukari came down to chat with old Three Dog shortly after, and then went on her way.

Boring story, right? Wrong! I'm just getting started. See, later that day, another Vault Dweller came crawling out, and it turns out she was looking for her mom, who is none other than, you guessed it, Yukari. So on her quest to find dear old Mom, Miss 101 joined up with a feisty Rogue from Megaton to disarm the nasty nuke sitting smack dab in the middle of town, an exploit that I've heard involved a scuffle at Tenpenny Tower. The duo then headed down to the D.C. Ruins, where they enlisted the help of a Brotherhood of Steel Scribe and Initiate to take down a super mutant behemoth laying siege on poor old Three Dog's studio. Afterwards, 101 came to chat with yours truly before agreeing to fix the Galaxy News broadcast relay atop the Washington Monument. It was a perilous journey, but with the help of a friendly Merc, the girls managed to fix the relay, enabling you all to listen to this broadcast.

Now the gang is off to find Yukari, who I've since learned is working on some big science project. Is that why she left the Vault? Looks that way... So who knows, maybe Yukari is going to save the world, and I can't think of a better cause than that. But Yukari, if you're listening, your kid's out there, and she misses you. So you might want to find her before she gets swallowed up and spit out. And for all you other cats out there listening, if you see these do-gooding girls out there, be sure to give them a big thank you, cause they've been dishing out all kinds of justice to raiders and super mutants on their way from point A to point B.

That's all for now kids, but stay tuned. Adventure seems to follow these girls wherever they go, and I'm expecting a whole lot more news to come through my door over the next few weeks. You won't wanna miss it.

"I still can't believe you made me stay out in the hall for three hours, Kagami," Konata said as the group emerged from the Farragut West metro station.

"You deserved it," Kagami snapped back. "I had to walk right past Knight Finley on my way back to the garrison!"

"Hey, I wasn't expecting him to show up like that." Konata grinned. "Besides, I'm sure he enjoyed getting to see your feminine side for once."

"This isn't funny! What if word gets around? What will people think when they hear about it?"

"Those two really like going at it, don't they?" Patty commented to Tsukasa as they trailed behind.

"Yep. All the time."

"They must have a strong bond to remain friends even though they argue so much." Miyuki noted.

"Well, Kona-chan and Sis have been really close ever since what happened at Hamilton's Hideaway."

"Really? What happened?" Miyuki asked.

"Well, almost ten years ago, Konata dared us to go with her to a place called Hamilton's Hideaway. It's a network of caves northwest of Megaton. Sis and Kona-chan kept arguing all the way there about whether it was a good idea or not. When we finally got there, Kona-chan ran down into the caves, and Sis went after her. I was too scared to go farther than the entrance. When they finally came back, they were both hurt and helping each other walk. They were still arguing through it all, but there was something different about the way they argued. It was like they were getting closer somehow."

Miyuki looked ahead at the two girls; Konata playfully shoved Kagami as if to push her into the river, with Kagami retaliating verbally. "I wonder what happened between them..."

"They never told me what happened down there," Tsukasa said, "But they've been best friends in their weird way ever since."

"Goes to show how tough they both are," Patricia noted. "Even as nine year olds, they were able to beat whatever was down there. Now look at them. I definitely wouldn't want to be one of their enemies."

"So Kagami," Konata started to tease, "You still haven't told us why you walk around without a bra."

"Geez! Do you have to bring that up again?"

"Come on, tell us! You definitely don't have my excuse."

Kagami huffed. "Well, if you must know, it's because my breasts get squished enough in this armor without the extra padding."

Konata stared at Kagami for a moment. "Kagami! That was so tsundere!"

"Stop using that word!" Kagami snapped before noticing something behind Konata. "Hey, look out!"

She shoved the rogue to the side as a trio of prehensile tongues lashed out, wrapping around her arm. A hideous creature lunged forward after its tongues, grasping at Kagami with its six disfigured arms.

"What the heck is that thing?" Konata exclaimed, drawing her sword as Kagami wrestled with the creature.

"It's a centaur," Kagami shouted as she struggled to dislodge it. "A dangerous mutant!"

The centaur unwrapped its tongues from the initiate's arm, rearing them back to lash at her face before Konata plunged her sword though its skull.

"That's disgusting!" Tsukasa cried when she got a good look at the corpse. The centaur's arms were positioned like an insect's legs on a fleshy lower torso, while its upper torso looked disturbingly human, excepting the tentacle-like tongues and the bony spines sticking out from its back and shoulder stumps.

"Watch out," Kagami said as she drew her assault rifle. "Where there's a centaur, there's going to be a super mutant. They use the centaurs like guard dogs."

An angry roar suddenly erupted from behind a nearby truck, followed by a super mutant lunging out with a sledgehammer. Konata took a blow to her back before being grabbed and lifted off the ground.

"Hey, Kagami," she said as she struggled to reach her knife, "I found your super mutant."

A sharp tone rung out from Miyuki's repeater as she fired; the powerful weapon blasted right through the mutant's head.

"Thanks, Yuki-chan," Konata said as she got to her feet. "You've really taken to that thing, huh?"

"Come on, let's keep moving," Kagami prompted. "I want to avoid any more mutants if possible."

"Wait," Tsukasa said as the others started to move, "Do you hear that?"

The girls stopped to listen before hearing someone sobbing faintly.

"It's coming from down there!" Patricia said, pointing ahead at a pair of trucks wedged together alongside a building.

The girls moved to investigate, being wary of more mutants. They found a tent set up behind the trucks; inside was a woman locked inside two shopping carts pushed together.

"Please, you have to help me!" she begged upon seeing them enter.

"Don't worry," Konata replied as she reached for her screwdriver, "We'll get you out of there."

"Make it quick," Kagami said, keeping her rifle on the door. After several seconds, Konata had opened the lock on the cart cage.

"Thank you," the woman said as she climbed out. "Now I need to get out of here!"

"Whoa, slow down," Patricia said. "Do you even know where you're going?"

"Yes, there's a place I can go nearby," The woman replied. "But I can't stay here!" With that, the woman ran past them and back down along the river.

"I hope she knows what she's doing," Kagami said as the girls continued onto the street lining the river.

"Hey, Boss, look at that." The caravan guard pointed down over the side of the tall bridge. "Looks like someone's getting into a scuffle with some raiders."

The caravan's leader approached the guard and looked out at the scene. "It appears you are right. And they are winning; they must be skilled warriors." The leader watched as the group of wastelanders overpowered the small raider camp, quickly wiping them out. "Very skilled indeed... Wait, it can't be!"

The guard gave the leader a confused look. "What is it, Boss?"

The leader spun away from the railing, marching back to the caravan as he spoke. "Quickly comrade, we must turn the caravan around. We must face that girl, before she slips past us."

"What girl? Are we going to attack her?"

"No, but a great battle will surely take place. Not a battle of combat skills, but a battle of barter, and speech, and charisma. Prepare our rarest goods, and ensure for us victory this day."

"I don't think I understand, Boss... Wait a minute..." The guard's eyes widened with realization. "Boss, is that girl...?"

"Yes. She is."

"I'll get the others ready!" The guard ran back towards the rest of the caravan.

The leader glanced back out over the railing. By now the raiders were dead, and the girls going through the camp. The leader grinned as he spotted the girl holding a box of ammo in the air triumphantly; her bright blue hair made her stand out. Today will be the day, I can feel it. Let it be known that on this day, I will sell something to you, Legendary Girl A!

"Not a bad haul," Konata said as the group passed under a large bridge. "A nice amount of ammo, food, and medicine, though I still don't know why that junk makes you so happy, Patty-chan."

Patty was carrying a crutch and a pressure cooker looted from the camp. "Well, you know what they say about one man's trash, Kona-chan," she replied cheerfully.

Kagami looked across the river. "There's the Citadel," she commented. "That means the Jefferson Memorial is just down the river, and past that is Rivet City."

"So we are getting close," Miyuki said.

"Sure are," Konata jumped in, "We'll find your mom in no time!"

As the girls kept walking, a group of colorful guards emerged from an alleyway onto the walkway, blocking their path.

"What's going on here?" Kagami asked impatiently.

"A business transaction."

The girls looked up to their left, seeing a man perched atop a single concrete pillar in a dilapidated building. Konata grinned as she recognized his spiked black hair and flowing duster. "So, we meet again."

"Indeed," the man replied, his visor tilted down to cover his eyes. He suddenly sprung forward from his perch, flipping and spinning through the air before landing before the girls, kicking up a cloud of dust.

"Okay, just who are you?" Kagami demanded.

"Who am I?" The man cast a sideways glance at her before performing a series of exaggerated gestures and fighting moves as he spoke. "I am Meito Anizawa, leader of the Animate Caravan! Like our namesake, we work as a provider of niche goods, hunting down the rarest of collectible items and selling them to only the most discerning customers!"

Kagami sweatdropped, taken aback."Well, what do you want with us?"

"I want nothing to do with the rest of you," Meito replied, gesturing at her, Tsukasa, Miyuki, and Patricia. "You are all unimportant."

"Nice to meet you too," Kagami deadpanned.

"The only one I am interested in," Meito vigorously pointed at Konata. "Is Legendary Girl A!"

Konata grinned. "Well then, show me what you've got!"

"Thanks for helping to put the hurt on those muties," Three Dog said to Sentinel Lyons. "You guys do a lot of good for the Capitol Wasteland. Don't you ever forget it."

"Thanks, Three Dog," Lyons replied. "It's been nice taking a day to rest, but now that the replacement troops have arrived, the Pride has to head back to the Citadel for our next assignment."

"No worries, it's cool. You've got places to be, bastards to kill. Tell Owyn I said hi."

"I will. Thanks for the bunks."

"Thanks for the guns. You take care, Sarah."

Three Dog went up to his studio after Lyons left. He checked over the audio equipment and double checked the next day's playlist, making sure the computer that randomized his twenty songs didn't set the same track too close to itself on the list. After finding the playlist to be satisfactory, Three Dog sat down at his desk and picked up his microphone to prerecord for the next day. "Let's see... Hey there, boys and girls! What are you all up to? I'll tell you what: you're listening to the news! Yeah, that's good..."

Three Dog spent an hour recording before he heard the door to the studio slam. "Oh come on!" he exclaimed as he flicked off the equipment and stood up. "You ruined my take! Can't you at least knock?"

The intruder didn't respond, but instead spoke to someone else. "Watch the door, Minoru. You yell if these grunts try to come in here."

Three Dog raised an eyebrow as a small girl came walking up the stairs into his sight.

"Hi there!" Akira greeted as she approached him. "You must be Three Dog!"

"The one and only," Three Dog replied as he looked her over. Something was off about this girl. She was wearing some type of uniform that was faded, tattered, singed, and splattered with spots of dried blood. That was nothing too out of the ordinary for a wastelander, though. "What can I do for you?"

"I need to find a girl named Miyuki Takara. She's got pink hair, glasses, a really big chest... Have you seen her?"

Something was suspicious about this girl's bright eyed smile. "Can't say that I have."

"Are you sure?" Akira pressed. "This will be oh-so-much easier if you just tell me where she is."

Three Dog stared at her uniform for another moment before finally recognizing it. "Wait a minute... that's an Enclave uniform! I thought there was something fishy about you; you're one of Eden's!"

Akira tilted her head. "You know who the Enclave are? That's funny; most of your kind don't have a clue what we look like." The officer smiled sweetly. "But that doesn't matter. All that matters is you telling me where the girl went. If you don't, then I'm afraid you're going to become very uncomfortable, to say the least."

"No deal. I don't care what the Man wants her for, but he's not getting his hands on 101. Besides, what's a kid like you gonna do to me? Better go back to your commander before I call down some Brotherhood justice on your ass."

Akira's mouth twisted into a vicious grin. "You can try." The officer's fist suddenly shot forward out of her sleeve before slamming into Three Dog's stomach.

Three Dog reeled back, feeling as though a brick had been catapulted into his gut. "Help!" he cried out before Akira lunged forward and grabbed his throat. The officer hefted Three Dog into the air and threw him across the room, slamming him into some radio equipment.

"Akira-sama!" Minoru cried as he ran up the stairs. "The troopers are coming!"

Akira cast a wicked glance at Three Dog. "Time for me to show you just who you're dealing with."

"I... I can't believe it... I threw everything I had at you... And yet you've rejected everything in my stock!"

Konata grinned. "I'll admit, some of it was tempting, but you're gonna need something really good if you want me to buy."

Meito lowered his head. "Very well. I don't normally show this to anyone, but this is a last resort!" He reached into his duster and pulled a rolled up piece of paper from his pocket.

Konata looked suspicious. "Now what could be on that paper that's so special?"

Meito chuckled to himself. "I think you can guess. It's an item I've been saving just for you; your one true weakness."

Konata thought for a moment before realizing. "C-Could it be?"

Meito grinned. "Indeed." He swiftly unrolled the paper and held it out for her to see. "The famed Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya bunny-girl poster!"

Konata's jaw dropped as she gazed at the poster. "They're all there..." she mumbled, nearly starting to drool. "Haruhi, Nagato, Tsuruya, even Kimidori! How much?"

Meito grinned. "One thousand caps."

"Done!"

Kagami's eyes widened. "Wait a minute! One thousand caps for that? Konata, shouldn't you at least think about this?"

"Silence!" Konata snapped as she held her hand up to Kagami's face. "No thinking is necessary! I can hardly call myself an otaku if I pass up a collectible like this! ...By the way, can I borrow four hundred caps from you guys? I'll pay you back when Abraham Washington pays us in Rivet City."

"I still have the two hundred caps you gave me in Megaton," Miyuki replied.

"I've got a hundred you can borrow," Patty added.

"I've only got twenty three..." Tsukasa said with a sweatdrop.

Konata looked at Kagami with big, pleading eyes. "Well, Kagamin? Do you have seventy seven caps?"

Kagami crossed her arms. "Yes, but I won't lend them to you. I think it's ridiculous to pay so much for a scrap of paper."

"Please, Kagamin! This poster is a very important historical relic; a beautiful piece of art that may well be worth more than the Declaration of Independence!"

"It's true!" Patricia cut in. "Abraham Washington is only paying us four hundred caps for the Declaration."

"See Kagami? Please please please please please please please please..."

"Alright!" Kagami snapped. "Take the stupid caps!"

"Yay! Thank you so much, Kagami!" Konata counted out the caps before offering them to Meito. "Here you go. One thousand caps."

"Excellent, excellent!" Meito exclaimed as he held out the poster. "Finally, I have won! I've finally sold something to Legendary Girl A!"

The two reached out to make the exchange, their hands within inches of each other's. At the very instant Konata's fingertips touched the poster, a laser bolt blazed through it. Konata and Meito, their facial expressions fixed from shock, watched in seemingly slow motion as the sacred paper turned to ash, inch by inch.

The sounds of battle suddenly erupted around them as Konata's friends and Meito's guards engaged the assailants, but the two collectors stood transfixed, staring in disbelief at the pile of ash between them. As reality slowly sunk in, a burning rage gradually built inside them. Their eyes met, and in a single brief moment, the two agreed that nothing in the world mattered until the one responsible for this atrocity was dead. Ignoring the shouts of their friends and the many shots streaking towards them, Konata and Meito faced the attackers: a group of mercenaries wearing black combat armor taking cover in the nearby dilapidated building. The two sprung forward into the stream of fire, their weapons ready in an instant.

Konata drove her sword straight into the seam of one merc's armor, pushing him back until she had stabbed through his comrade behind him as well. A spinning slash sliced through the throat of a melee fighter behind her as she hurled her knife into the forehead of a pistoleer across the room. Konata drew her pistol and dropped two more mercs before retrieving her knife and stabbing a final gunner.

Meito moved inhumanly fast towards the closest merc, seeming to glide across the ground before driving his spiked knuckles into his jaw. A grenade landed at his feet, and the merchant took to the skies in a soaring leap, bringing the pneumatic piston of his power fist down to crush the grenadier's skull. He dropped to avoid a burst of fire before lunging and throwing a spinning back kick to another merc's face.

The two brawlers quickly turned at the sound of a laser pistol, spotting the offending mercenary on the second story. They nodded to each other before springing into action. Konata dashed right, vaulting over some rubble onto a staircase and leaping across a gap to reach the target. Meito made his way up from the left by sprinting up the incline of a ruined wall and swinging off some rebar into a soaring flip. The merc began to panic as the fighters came at him from both sides. In a single instant, Konata's blades were stabbed precisely into his ribs and neck while Meito's power fist caved in the side of his head with a powerful blow. The two let out a furious war cry as the corpse crumpled to the ground, their friends staring in awe.

"I guess that's it," Konata said after a few moments had passed.

"It would seem so," Meito replied, passionate tears gathering in his eyes. "It is a great shame, to think that we lost such a great relic."

"We got greedy," Konata said, wiping her own eyes. "We hoped to gain so much that we let our guard down. Rest in peace, Haruhi-chan."

"Are you two quite done?" Kagami called as they dropped down to ground level.

"Kagami, show some respect!" Konata said. "The world has lost one of its last great marvels."

"You'll forgive my lack of compassion," Kagami replied, her arms crossed. "I'm more concerned about you two. Look at yourselves! Just how many shots did you take?"

"It matters not," Meito muttered before exploding into fiery passion. "The pain and bloodshed are something we must endure! As punishment for our failure!"

"Yes!" Konata joined in, "We will carry these scars always! To remind us never again put such a treasure in danger!"

"Such passion," Patricia remarked, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Yeah," Kagami sighed, "If only they could put it towards something useful."

"Hey, Kona-chan," Tsukasa spoke up suddenly, "What's that on your sword?"

Konata snapped back from her mourning and found a scrap of paper impaled on her sword.

"'Boys and girls," she started reading the note out loud. "'We've got ourselves another holier-than-thou white-knight who needs putting down. Here are the details: Name: Miyuki Takara. Race: Japanese. Sex: Female. The bounty is a thousand caps this time around, plus an extra five hundred for that Izumi kid following her around. And for a change of pace, they want the head this time. Good hunting!'"

Konata scowled. "Hey! I'm worth way more than five hundred caps!"

Kagami frowned. "These hitmen must be from Talon Company. This is pretty much how they operate."

"But why would they be after me?" Miyuki asked, sounding concerned.

"Probably because you disarmed Megaton's bomb and took down Tenpenny," Konata said. "Talon Company tends to take jobs from the bad guys. What I really want to know is why they'd shoot at a poor, defenseless poster..."

"Speaking of which, since that nonsense is done with, can we please head to Rivet City now?" Kagami said impatiently.

"Yeah, let's go," Particia added as she started down the path. "I'm itching to get my reward."

"Fine," Konata muttered as she trudged along, followed by Miyuki.

"Hey, hold on a minute!" Tsukasa said. "I wanted to buy that frog keychain that Anizawa-san had earlier."

"Forget it, Tsukasa," Kagami said as she nudged her sister along. "You're better off not dealing with these people, and I don't think he's in any mood to do business anyway."

Meito solemnly watched as the girls continued on.

"Hey, Boss? You okay?" a caravan guard asked.

"I was so close," Meito replied. "I was certain that I would finally sell something to Legendary Girl A. I had been saving that poster just for her; now she will never buy from me."

"Don't say that, Boss! I'm sure you'll find something just as good to sell to her, better even! And we'll help you every step of the way!"

"Yeah!" a female guard spoke up. "We've got your back all the way, Boss!"

"Thank you, comrades," Meito replied. "You're right. Together, we will surely accomplish our goal!" He thrust his fist into the air. "Together, we shall hunt down a truly magnificent item worthy of Legendary Girl A!"

"So this is the mighty Brotherhood of Steel I've heard so much about?" Akira laughed as she wove through a volley of lasers. "I've seen recruits tougher than you 'knights' and 'paladins'!" The officer sent a burst of plasma bolts at the nearest trooper, burning through his armor. "And this armor's a joke! Too easy!" Akira used her small size to dodge the troopers' fire, striking at weak points with her pistol and Ripper. Before long, she had completely destroyed the attacking troops and sent several more into retreat.

Minoru crawled out from behind cover as the last trooper fell; Akira's gaze fell to him, much to his discomfort. "Thanks for the help," she said sarcastically. "Couldn't have done it without you."

"Sorry," Minoru replied. "It just seems like I should stand back and not get in your way."

"Smart thinking," Akira admitted. "But you should at least get some target practice, even if it's on the guys I'm killing."

Minoru's attention was suddenly drawn to the sound of hurried footsteps. "Akira-sama, he's trying to get away!"

Akira glanced over to see Three Dog running towards the stairs. She rolled her eyes before casually firing off her plasma pistol at him. The bolt burned through his leg as he reached the stairs, sending him tumbling down. Akira strolled down after him and hauled him up off the ground by his shirt.

"Look pal, you're starting to piss me off. Just tell me where Miyuki is before I have to get my hands even bloodier."

"I ain't telling you shit," Three Dog spat. "Do your worst."

Akira bared her teeth in a wicked grin. "Hey, Minoru," she called, "Get some stimpaks ready. Our friend here is gonna need 'em."

"I'm kinda surprised at you Kona-chan," Patricia commented as the group walked along the river. "That guy actually had some nice stuff besides the poster. Why didn't you buy any?"

"Well, it's not that I didn't want to," Konata replied. "It's just that I can't go filling my inventory with miscellaneous items unless they're really good. I need to save room for good weapons and armor to either sell or use. Not only that, but it's really funny how worked up that guy gets when I don't buy anything." She sighed. "I really wanted that poster though. There's probably no more like it."

"Good riddance," Kagami said, "That would've been a waste of all our caps."

"Hey, look at that!" Tsukasa suddenly spoke up, pointing to a building sitting out in the Tidal Basin.

"Oh, that's the Jefferson Memorial," Miyuki replied. "Except... What's all that built around it?"

Several large catwalks and pipes sticking out into the Basin were grafted onto the Memorial, and the rotunda itself was completely walled in.

"Looks like some kind of science project," Kagami remarked. "Rivet City is pretty close now, so maybe the scientists set it up."

"Hey guys," Konata started, pulling their attention to the path ahead. "Look at this."

Ahead of them was a massive super mutant camp. Sharpened steel girders had been driven into the ground and strung together with rusty barbed wire and metal sheeting to form a wall around the perimeter, and dangling from dead trees and metal spikes were several human corpses, skeletons and bags filled with gore.

Tsukasa moved closer to her sister. "H-How do we get past that?" she asked nervously.

"We don't," Konata replied grimly. "Look at how many mutants there are, plus they're up on a hill; we'd be spotted in no time if we take the road."

"So what then?" Patricia asked. "I know we're good at killing them, but that's a lot of mutants to fight all at once."

"There appears to be less than we faced in the National Archives," Miyuki commented.

"We had a fortified position," Kagami pointed out. "This time they have the high ground. The main entrance is down the hill there, and it funnels any attackers into a bottleneck. This place was built to take an assault."

"So we fight smart," Konata said. "Miyuki and Tsukasa stay back by the entrance and pick off the weaker ones, while Kagami and Patty go up the middle as a distraction."

"It sounds like we get the short end of the stick," Kagami said, arms crossed.

"I never said you guys were gonna do any real fighting," Konata replied. "You just need to draw their fire and then get behind cover. If they start shooting at someone else, then take a few shots to get their attention. Just keep them focused on you."

"What about you, Konata-san?" Miyuki asked.

"I'm gonna do what I do best," Konata replied with a grin. "I'm gonna worm my way through the wall and get behind them. Since they'll be focused on Kagami and Patty, I should be able to stab a bunch of them in the back before they even realize. That's why it's so important for you two to keep them distracted."

"Well," Patricia said, "This looks like our best shot. I say we take it."

"I'm really starting to question whether this was a good idea or not," Kagami groaned as more of their cover was chipped away. The only cover her and Patricia had been able to find was a single slab of concrete sitting right in the line of fire of all the mutants.

"At least we have their full attention," Patrica said with a sweatdrop. Another chunk of concrete broke off in the crossfire.

"We can't keep it for much longer though. Where the heck is Konata?"

"She's probably trying to get where she can kill a bunch at once," Patty replied as she sent off a burst from her SMG. "At least we've got Miyuki and Tsukasa taking some of them out."

Kagami was about to reply when she noticed a brute appear on an elevated platform to their right. "Look out!" she shouted, grabbing Patricia's arm and dragging her out from cover as a hail of 5mm rounds rained down on them.

"Wait, we're heading towards them?" Patricia said as she fired off her SMG.

"I'd rather go up against hunting rifles than that minigun," Kagami replied, wincing as a .32 round bounced off her shoulder.

The initiate drew her sledgehammer as they closed on the group of mutants, still a dozen strong. The two entered into frantic close combat with the mutants, ducking and weaving around bullets and melee blows. Many times the mutants would strike each other or be caught between the two girls and the minigun.

"We're not doing so bad," Patricia called as a magnum round popped the head of another mutant's head.

"Yeah, but we won't last like this forever," Kagami replied as she forced a mutant back with her sledge.

She turned to see the stream of mingun fire coming towards her and braced herself, but the rounds suddenly started flying up into the sky. Confused, Kagami glanced at the brute and saw Konata hanging off its back, her arm wrapped around its neck and her knife poised to strike. Kagami didn't have time to watch the kill, however, as a mutant was bearing down on her with a sledge of its own. The initiate dove to dodge the blow, allowing Patricia to mince the mutant with her SMG. Another mutant took aim at the merc from behind, but a small rogue landing on its head threw off the shot.

"You're late," Kagami said as she swung at a mutant's jaw.

"But not too late," Konata replied as the mutant tried to dislodge her. "Took some extra time to circle around that brute. Figured you'd want him gone ASAP." The rogue drove her sword into the mutant's ear and through its head before leaping to the ground. "Now we just mop them up,"

"Don't be so sure," Kagami cautioned, pointing at a small group of mutants falling back. However, they were quickly cut off by laser bolts and magnum rounds; Miyuki and Tsukasa had taken advantage of the chaos and advanced unnoticed, quickly wiping out the stragglers.

"I'm glad that's over," Kagami sighed. "Come on, lets get moving."

"Just a sec," Konata insisted. "I saw an ammo box up on that platform." The rogue climbed to the platform, finding the box beside a gore bag and two corpses. "Jackpot!" she exclaimed as she cracked the lock and looked inside, finding eighteen missiles. She scanned the platform for more boxes, but she was surprised to see a man sitting on the far end instead. His wrists and ankles were tied, and he just stared at her. "Uh, hi there?" Konata said. "You want a hand?"

"You mean you're not going to kill me?" the man replied, sounding confused.

"Uh, no?" Konata cut through the ropes with her knife. "Why would I kill you?"

"I thought that anyone as strong as you are would be a killer. Nice people usually end up dead out here." He rubbed his wrists as he stood up. "But I guess that's not entirely true. Thank you. I thought I was dead for sure."

"No problem," Konata replied as they climbed down. "I can't just leave you here, after all."

"Who's that?" Tsukasa asked as the two rejoined the group.

"Another captive," Konata replied.

Kagami frowned. "Another? Why are the super mutants kidnapping people all of a sudden?"

"Actually, I've been hearing rumors about them doing that for a while now," Patricia replied. "I just thought the were scary stories, but now I'm not so sure."

"What exactly happened to you?" Miyuki asked.

"I was coming back from a trip to Rivet City when the mutants came after me," the man replied. "I thought they were just going to attack me, but instead they grabbed me and dragged me back here. Anyway, I guess I owe you girls my thanks. If you hadn't come along, I don't know what they would have done with me. How'd you all learn to fight like that?"

"That's just what we do," Konata said boastfully. "Killing mutants, protecting the weak, it's all in a day's work for us."

"We're really nothing that special," Tsukasa said with a sweatdrop. "We just get lucky, mostly."

"Actually, it's because we're PCs," Konata said. She placed a hand on the man's shoulder. "I feel so bad for you poor NPCs."

"Huh?"

"Ignore her," Kagami said. "What are you gonna do now?"

"I should be able to make it out of D.C. now," the man replied. "Especially since you all came from the west. That means there won't be any mutants."

"We did kill a few on our way down here," Patricia said proudly. "Good luck. I hope you get where your going." The girls left the camp and continued east, while the man went back the way they came from.

"So the super mutants are kidnapping wastelanders off the streets," Kagami thought out loud.

"A very troubling thought," Miyuki added. "What use could they possibly have for captives?"

"I'll bet that they drag them off to eat them," Konata said. "Like, they tie them down and start cutting pieces off one by one, until the person dies from blood loss!"

"Kona-chan!" Tsukasa cried, "Don't say things like that! That's scary!"

"Besides," Kagami said, "Assuming they do eat people, wouldn't that be what the bags of gore around their camps are for?"

"Perhaps they prefer the taste of a fresh kill," Miyuki mused. "Intense fear alters body chemistry, so perhaps a person who is eaten alive has an improved flavor?"

"It's even scarier the way Yuki-chan says it!" Tsukasa cried.

"Oh, forgive me!" Miyuki said quickly, "I was merely speculating. I don't mean to imply that to be the case."

"But still, what would they need us for?" Patricia asked. "Slave labor?"

"What would they be laboring over?" Konata asked. "For that matter, what would they need us to labor over? They have ten times our muscle!"

"I guess it'll have to stay a mystery," Kagami said with a shrug. "Anyway, look. We're getting close to Rivet City." A massive aircraft carrier came into sight as they rounded a bend, it's bow broken off and half submerged.

"Oh my. That's Rivet City?" Miyuki gasped.

"Yep," Konata replied. "Welcome to the biggest town in the Capitol Wasteland. Probably the safest, too."

Even though it was well worn and beached on the riverbed, the enormous vessel still struck Miyuki as majestic. "How very resourceful, using the vessel as a city. It has all the size and structure people would need."

"It's defensible too," Kagami added. "Only one way onto that boat, and they've got a whole security force ready to guard it."

"You know, I've always wanted to see the inside of this place," Tsukasa said as they climbed the small scrap tower directly across the river from the ship. "I wonder why we've never come here before?"

"It's because our family was always moving between settlements out in the wastes," Kagami replied. "And when we finally came this far south, it was to join the Brotherhood of Steel. Truth be told, I'm kinda curious to see this place myself."

The girls found a security intercom mounted on the the top of the tower. "Hey there, rangers of the wastes coming through with important business, so let us in!" Konata shouted into the intercom.

"You could've at least said please," Kagami muttered. "Just because the whole world blew up doesn't mean we have to abandon common courtesy."

The intercom suddenly buzzed to life. "Please wait while the bridge extends." A metallic groan sounded as the cargo crane suspending the bridge swung towards them, connecting the bridge to the tower with a clang.

"Wow, we're really high up," Tsukasa said nervously as they crossed over the wide expanse.

"Don't look down," Konata teased.

"Hold it," a man wearing black security armor said, stopping them before they could reach the deck. "I'm Harkness, chief of security. State your business in Rivet City."

Konata counted off on her fingers. "Well, we're looking for Miyuki-san's mom, we've got the Declaration of Independence and other stuff to sell to Abraham Washington, I've got research to do on the city, we'll probably do some trading, and we need to talk to a Doctor Li." The rogue smirked. "That good enough for you?"

"Alright, alright," Harkness replied. "Go on in, smarty pants. Just don't cause any trouble, or you'll wind up floating face down in the river."

"Of course," Miyuki said as they passed by him. "We won't cause any trouble at all."

The tall girl stepped through the hatch and onto the catwalk. She looked down at the handful of makeshift shops set up in the ship's vast hanger, fixing her gaze on Gary's Galley. Closing her sharp cyan eyes, Minami Iwasaki took a deep breath before making her way down to the restaurant. She kept her head low, letting her mint green hair cover her eyes.

Minami stepped off the catwalk stairs and onto the deck, immediately spotting her friend, Yutaka Kobayakawa among the dining tables. The small girl was hurrying to the far table with plates of food in her hands, her short crimson pigtails trailing behind her. Be careful not to trip, Yu-chan, Minami silently cautioned.

Yutaka made it to her destination unscathed, however. "Here's your iguana-on-a-stick, Tammy, and squirrel bits for you, James." She smiled sincerely after giving them their food. "I hope you enjoy your meal!"

Tammy Hargrave took a bite of her iguana before spitting it back out. "This tastes horrible!" she threw the food back at Yutaka, who was barely able to dodge it. "Listen here, brat. You march right back to Gary and tell him I want my caps back, right this instant!"

"Y-Yes ma'am," Yutaka managed to squeak out before hurrying away.

Minami glared at Tammy; she could tell that the alcoholic would cross the line one of these days. She watched as Yutaka came back to the table, fidgeting with her hands.

"I-I'm sorry Tammy, but Gary said he wouldn't give you a refund."

"Why you little crooks! You're out to steal my caps, aren't you?" Tammy abruptly pushed her chair out and stood, towering over the small girl.

"N-No, that's not it at all! It's just-"

"Shut up! I'm going to teach you a lesson, you brat!" Tammy raised her fist into the air, but suddenly found her wrist in a vice grip before she could bring it down.

"Leave. Her. Alone."

Tammy wretched her hand free and turned to face the interloper, finding herself staring into intensely angry cyan eyes. "This is none of your business, bitch. Back off!"

Minami just glared back at her. "If you dare hurt Yutaka, I will make you regret it."

"Tough talk," Tammy hissed, the stench of beer coming off her breath. "Let's see if you can back it up."

"Hey, what's going on back here?" The two turned to see a member of security approaching. "Alright, alright, break it up. Listen Tammy, if you keep picking fights, than I'm going to have to turn you over to Chief Harkness, understand?"

"Whatever," Tammy snorted before grabbing her son by the hand. "Come on, James. We're leaving."

"But mom," James whined, "I haven't finished!"

"I don't care," Tammy yelled as she dragged him away. "Don't talk back to me!"

Minami watched the two leave before turning to Yutaka; the poor girl looked shaken. "Are you alright?"

"Y-Yeah. Thank you." The small girl looked up at Minami, her dark green eyes shining. "It's a good thing you were here, Iwasaki-san. You're always watching out for me!"

"It's nothing," the tall girl replied. "Is your shift almost over?"

"Yeah, there's no more customers around, so I just need to clean up the tables."

"Alright. I'll wait for you here."

"Okay!" Yutaka smiled before going off to finish her shift.

She's so pure and innocent, Minami thought as she watched the small girl busily clearing and wiping down all the tables. I feel like – no, I know – I have to keep her safe.

"I'm all finished!" Yutaka called as she trotted back to her friend. "Come on, let's go out on the deck."

Minami let the the small girl take her by the hand and lead her back up to the stairwell. The feeling of Yutaka's hand in her own filled Minami with a warm, gentle feeling. She's so kind and caring, Minami thought as they climbed the stairs to the flight deck. She deserves a better life than this. A life where she isn't surrounded by greed and violence and death. She quietly sighed to herself. But that's more than I can give her. I can only give her my loyalty. My protection.

They opened the hatch out to the flight deck, a former runway for naval warplanes. A few aircraft still sat atop the ancient carrier, their wings neatly folded, awaiting a deployment that would never come. The two girls crossed the wide expanse of metal, passing the baseball diamond on their way to a small bench.

"Minami-chan?" Yutaka asked after they had been sitting for a while.

"Yes?"

"Why doesn't anyone try to fix the city?" Minami looked out over the ruined skyline, her sharp eyes mournful. "Because it's too dangerous."

"But why is it dangerous? Is there something out there?"

Minami glanced down at the Yutaka. The naïve girl had been sheltered from the harshness of the wastes by her sister. She knew nothing of raiders or mutants or slavers, nothing of the cruelty and suffering so common in the Wasteland. "There are people out there," Minami answered. "People who wouldn't hesitate to hurt you, to do terrible things to you." Minami remembered seeing her mother dragged away by raiders years ago, before she had found her way to Rivet City.

"But not all the people are like that, right? The merchants come from the Wasteland, so there has to be somewhere else safe." Yutaka may not have known much about the world, but she was perceptive.

"That's true, but it's still dangerous out there." Minami replied. "Why are you asking this all of a sudden?"

"Well, lately I've been thinking that maybe I'd like to see the world," Yutaka answered, looking a bit uncertain. "Rivet City is my home, but there has to be more than just what we have here."

Minami looked startled. "No. That's out of the question."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Yutaka, you don't know how bad things are out there in the Wasteland." Minami bowed her head, letting her hair hang down over her eyes. "I barely managed to survive out there before coming here. And I saw horrible things. People get sold as slaves, killed, or worse out there. If you decide to leave Rivet City, then I can't do much to protect you."

Yutaka tilted her head as she stared at her friend. "Protect me?"

"Yes. Yutaka, there's something I need to say to you. I... I care about you. If I ever saw you come to harm, I don't know what I would do. Please, Yutaka, stay in Rivet City."

Yutaka cast her eyes downward. "You're probably right, Minami-chan. I just feel like there's so much to experience out there, things I'll never see here. I could travel with one of the caravans, and maybe I could even help some of the people out there."

Minami looked down at Yutaka's sad face before sighing. "Then I will go with you."

Yutaka looked up at her friend. "What?"

"If you feel you must leave, then I will go with you and keep you as safe as I can."

"But, what about the Church? You're studying as an acolyte to become a priestess."

Minami shook her head. "You are more important than any of that. You always have been. Wherever you go, I will follow." Minami leaned close to her friend. "Yutaka, I'm ready to give my life for you. Anything to keep you safe."

Yutaka gazed into her friend's strong, determined eyes. "You aways have been there for me, haven't you, Minami-chan?" The small girl blushed slightly. "You know, I've always felt that there was something between us, something stronger than friendship. You mean so much to me, Minami-chan, and to hear you say you'll always watch out for me... It makes me feel like we can face the world together!"

"Yutaka..." Minami whispered as she leaned closer to her friend, their lips slowly drifting towards each other.

"Minami-chan..."

"Hiyorin! Time to wake up!" Patricia lightly hit her friend on the head, suddenly jolting her up from her dream.

"W-Welcome to A Quick Fix! Please consider our fine selection of chems!" Hiyori quickly brushed her dark hair out of her dark purple eyes. "Oh, it's only you, Patty-chan." Hiyori straightened her glasses before noticing a series of scribbles on the counter in front of her. She panicked a bit when she realized the scribbles resembled two people kissing.

"Hm? Drawing in your sleep?" Patricia asked, noticing the scribbles as well. "Just what were dreaming about, Hiyori?"

"I really can't remember," Hiyori lied as she covered the scribbles with some paper.

"Inspiration for a doujin, by the looks of it," Konata said, a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "How's it going, Hiyori? Long time no see."

"Konata-san?" Hiyori replied, sounding surprised. "I wasn't expecting to see you! How long has it been?"

"Oh, five, maybe six years? It's been a while since my dad brought me down here before. Anyway, I've got some friends here." Konata gestured to the rest of the group. "Guys, this is Hiyori Tamura, an old friend of mine. Hiyori, that's Kagami and Tsukasa Hiiragi, from the Brotherhood of Steel."

"Hello there," Tsukasa greeted.

"Hey," Kagami added.

"And this is Miyuki Takara," Konata continued. "She's from Vault 101, if you can believe it."

"Oh, so you're the Vault Dweller. I heard about you on the radio. " Hiyori said. "I hear you've done some amazing things, Takara-san."

Miyuki smiled. "Thank you for saying so. It's a pleasure to meet you, Tamura-san."

Hiyori couldn't help but grin as she looked over Miyuki. A formal education and dignified upbringing combine to make a well-mannered and intelligent girl. And with that pleasant personality wrapped up in shapely hips, a big bust, and beautiful hair, this girl is a true embodiment of moe! And she wears glasses to boot!

Konata seemed to read Hiyori's face. "Nice stats, huh?"

Hiyori nodded. "Very nice!"

Kagami folded her arms. "Not to sound rude, but shouldn't we get to the task at hand?"

"Yeah, you're right," Konata replied. "We'll catch up later, Hiyori. We've got quests to finish."

"Oh, alright," Hiyori called after them, "Nice meeting you all!"

Salutations all. Hoping you're all enjoying the story so far.

So what do you guys think of my little twist on the standard "previously on..."? Having Three Dog talk to you guys directly with a "news update" seemed like a great way to start immersing you all in the world before the chapter proper.

Lots of characters making their debut this time, including bonus guest Meito Anizawa. Really hoping I did him justice. New to the main group is Hiyori Tamura, everyone's favorite perverted manga artist. We also catch a delusional glimpse of Yutaka and Minami. Hope that little bit was quality enough for you yuri fiends ;) And let's not forget Akira; though she's not a new character, she's catching up to the girls and is going to make an impact soon.

Behind the scenes! Yutaka, Minami, Hiyori, and Patty were originally planned to replace the members of the Temple of the Union, including Cherry as Four Score. That kept all four together as a close group, but it presented problems with involving Yui, who of course has to be associated with Yutaka. Another problem was the fact that the Temple of the Union is far off the main quest path, so there was no believable way for the main girls to even find them. Not to mention the character decay involved in casting Lucky Star characters as main characters; I didn't want these four to suffer Yukari's fate. Finally, there would be no background diversity among them; they'll all have the cookie cutter origin of "former slave," which is boring. So I moved them all to Rivet City and put them in the roles of minor characters. Patty was originally supposed to run A Quick Fix alongside Hiyori, but I decided that putting her in Sydney's role gave her a skillset better suited to her than a merchant. I won't say much more about Yutaka or Minami though, since they haven't actually made an appearance, but their roles in Rivet City were decided early, and they're very fitting.

So that about wraps it up. Thanks for reading, and don't be afraid to tell me what you think!