Cullen Fan Mail
Got a question for the Cullens?
Wanna find out where Emmett works out?
Think Rosalie is the same girl you saw in front of Victoria's Secret?
Dying to know where Alice really shops?
Well ask them!
It's as simple as... replying!
When other people are answering (other than the person you wrote it to) it will be bold
Disclaimer: (place witty disclaimer sentence here) Oh and btw… I don't own
I absolutely had to post this question first. CrystalDragon7991 threatened to get the Volturi on me:
Dear Carlisle, Edward, Emmet, and Jasper,
Why the flip is it so
important to have the most fan girls? I think Alice and
Bella rock
the most, personally.
(BTW, Jacob stinks like wet cat--yeah,
that's right, a CAT!)
Hopefully b/c I really want to be part
of this fic,
CrystalDragon791
Dear CrystalDragon7991,
Emmett: Edward thinks he's soooooo great because he has lots of fan girls. So, I said I had more! AND what about Rosalie??
Jasper: Ya really, and it gets soooooo annoying because he's all like 'I HAVE MORE FAN GIRLS HAHAHAHA!!' But I do have more than Emmett.
Emmett: HEY!
Carlisle: No one thinks I have fan girls. I honestly don't care! But I do have fan girls.
Edward: Actually, I do have the most and I'm not like that! GOD!!
Love,
The Cullens Boys
Emmett: HEY WE ARE MEN NOT BOYS!!
Me: boys cough boys
Love,
The Cullen errrr men?
Dear Carlisle:
I'm a vampire right now, and when I was human I used
to LOVE cookies, I would
hate not to eat them again so, do you
think that vampires can get sick or
something like that if they
eat human food??
Love,
Vale-
Dear Vale:
YOU'RE A VAMPIRE NOW?? HOW?? WHO?? WHAT?? WHERE?? WHEN?? WHY?? WHO CHANGED YOU?? WERE YOU DYING?? And you can eat the cookie, but you won't taste the goodness and you'll puke it up later
Love,
Carlisle
Dear
Cullens (AKA All of you):
Edward:
I am so a fangirl of yours.
My friend likes Jake better. But she is WRONG!
...Oh yeah, back on
topic... Can we hang out sometime? Bring Bella too. We can
listen
to Linkin Park together... love that band. And can you teach me how
to
play the piano?
Bella:
I know that technically you
aren't a Cullen (yet), but...oh well. Did you
know that we're
blushing buddies? And faints-at-sight-of-blood buddies?
And
so-clumsy-it's-like-being-disabled buddies too? And that we
both have red in
our hair in the sun? I did.
Emmett:
You
rock. I am so a fangirl of yours. Can I have a bear hug? Better yet,
can
you sign my teddy bear? Can you drive me around in the Jeep?
Pretty please?
-puppy dog eyes-
Rosalie:
I used to hate you.
But now I don't think you're so bad. Can you give me a
makeover?
Please? (Notice that I'm not asking to be a vamp-that means we can
be
buds, right?)
Jasper:
I love you! I am so a fangirl of yours. I
love the Southern accent. People
say it's close to the
Newfoundland
accent. I'm from Newfoundland.
How cool is
that? Oh, and could you tutor me in
history?
Alice:
Let's go SHOPPING! And can you give me a pedi?
And can the nail polish be red
like you gave Bella that one time?
Oh, and I just realized that you may be mad
at me for Jasper's
letter. I didn't mean it like that. I swear. And did you
know
we're both vertically challenged? How cool is that?
Carlisle:
I
love the English accent. I am so a fangirl of yours. You rock. But I
think
you need to loosen up just a tad. Unless someone's bleeding.
Then being calm
and controlled is a GOOD thing. Can I see that big
wooden cross that your dad
made? It sounds cool.
Esme:
I
think you are cool. But we don't see very much of you. Can you teach
me how
to cook? I know you can. Even though you don't eat. So can
you teach me? I
found a recipe for rabbit blood cookies the other
day. We can try to make
that.
Lots of love
from:
TheCullensOwnMySoul
Dear TheCullensOwnMySoul,
Edward: WHAT NOW ANOTHER FANGIRL. Your friend is weird! I love Linkin Park!! Umm… maybe we can. Do you have a piano?
Bella: Wow. You do sound a lot like me. We should hang out!
Emmett: SHE'S MY FANGIRL TOO!! Umm… I'll sign the bear but I'm not sure about the jeep or hug.
Rose: SURE!! And Alice wants to help! YAY! See I DO have human friends!
Jasper: FANGIRL!! Newfoundland accent?? Weird. Sure!
Alice: Vertically challenged?? Are you calling me short?? I DO NOT LIKE BEING CALLED SHORT!! YAY SHOPPING!!
Carlisle: Whoo fangirl! LOOSEN UP?! WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?? NOOOOOOO YOU CAN"T SEE THE CROSS!! IT"S TO SPECIAL FOR YOU!
Esme: Rabbit blood cookies?? I don't like eating rabbits much, I like deer and grizzly bears. But, it's been a while since I've eaten rabbit. Sure!
Love,
The Cullens
Dear
Edward,
Has any fans tried to attack you?
saphiradragon88
Dear SaphiraDragon88,
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! THE FAN GIRLS!! KINGS ISLAND!! PUNK'D!! NOT THE FIRST VIOLINS!! SOPRANOS!!
sobs
Love,
Edward
Dear
Bella,
Did it ever occur to you that your initials spell B.S? Just
wondering.
Johanna
Dear Johanna,
Actually they spell IMS. And soon they will spell IMC
Love,
IMS!!
Dear
Alice
you r my favorite vampire. I love u so much. The only
difference between us
is that I'm a little bit more depressing
but anyway. Here's my question. How
do u feel about Jacob? We only
truly get Edwards and Bella's feelings. The only
reason I asked
is because I love both of u guys. I love vampires and I love
Jacob.
Only Jacob.
Waiting to exhale,
Furevrunique2450
P.S.
Tell absolutely everyone in the Cullen family that I said HI and that
I
love them.
Dear Furevrunique2450,
Jacob's okay I guess. I don't really think of how much I like or dislike him. He doesn't bother me or help me very much (sometimes), he's just there. They all say HI back. And Edward, Emmett, and jasper, want to know whose fangirl you are.
Love,
Alice
Dear Edward
MUAHAHA BE AFRAID I'm BAACK!! YES!! JADE (ME AUHTOR) SAID I COULD ASK ANY QUESTIONI WANT!! Have you have therapy yet? This is ItachiEdwardZuko again with more traumatizing questions!
Edward:
If Bella was an ice cream sandwich, which way would you eat her?
Love,
The author's dearest cousin
Rina (aka ItachiEdwardZuko)
Rina:
DO YOU ENJOY SENIDNG ME TO THERAPY?? WHY ON EARTH DOES THE AUTHOR DO THIS TO ME?? SHE IS NOT AND ICE CREAM SANDWICH!! EVEN IF SHE WAS, I WOULD NOT EAT HER!! UGH!! JADE AND I NEED TO HAVE A NICE LONG CHAT ABOUT THE KIND OF QUESTIONS SHE POSTS!! HONESTLY!
Edward (notice I said Rina and not dear Rina. I also said Edward and not love Edward)
HAHAHA!! I love you Rina!! No, her name is not really Rina and my name is not really Jade. We just call each other that. Again, I'm super sorry with the extreme delay of the chapter. Actually I have an overflow of reviews, so if you have a super traumatizing question (Rina) please post it. Otherwise, you can review; I'd just prefer not questions, because I have an overload and need to catch up. Also Happy spring break, and unfortunately I will not be able to post because I will be in Houston. WHOT! I also have a new idea, but I'm unsure if I want to do it. Also, if you plan on reading my next fic, one of the letters in this chapter holds HUGE and I mean GIMORMOUS clues to my fic. LOLZ!!