Evangelion Fan Fiction
The Difference Of A Life
By Kraven Ergeist
xxxxx
December 24th, 2015
Misato stood at attention, as the Commander introduced his Sub-Commander, Kozo Fuyutsuki as everyone stood at attention at the Command Center. As the bridge crew whispered back and forth with their comments on the changing executives, the Sub-Commander's origins, and, in Ritsuko's case, her views on conversing while the Commanders were talking, Misato was deep in thought.
The Commanders of NERV were not the only things that were changing. Her pilots, whom she had known for the better part of a year, were changing. Shinji and Rei always used to cooperate in their training, and now they resorted to training on more spate terms. They'd grown so out of sync since the misfire in campaign of the 7th Angel, and it was getting worse.
Toji was showing slow growth at best. Misato was starting to lose patience with the boy's learning curve. Kaworu seemed to have peaked much earlier on, and wasn't showing any growth or decrease, which wasn't bad news at least. What confused Misato was the fact that she'd never so much as seen the boy outside his Eva. Where did he go during the day? Even Asuka, who had given heart to the Eva project, was losing her spunk.
She wasn't sure how or why things were turning out the way they were. She had thought she'd known her pilots well enough. Maybe if they were still in Tokyo-3. Maybe if Yui Ikari were still alive…
Misato bit her lip as the Commanders went onto the matters of the day.
"I wonder what the pilots are up to now..."
xxxxx
Asuka's eyes had flown open in an instant. He was kissing her. He was kissing her! Here she was, sitting Shinji Ikari's room, and he was kissing her! How often had she dreamed of him doing this to her? She hadn't even dared hope for even a kind smile that evening, and now…
Shinji gradually parted with her, his hands tightly gripping her shoulders. She could see fresh tears in his eyes as he slumped, hanging on her shoulders. He looked broken, she decided. Like something inside of him just stopped working.
Asuka managed to speak. "Shinji…"
She didn't get to say more, as Shinji suddenly crumpled, burying his face in her lap, sobs shaking his whole body.
Asuka stared down at him, stunned. If the situation were different, she would have been pretty turned on by the boy's head in her lap. But a whole other emotion took her as she stroked the boy's hair.
Kaworu… she thought. What did you do to him?
xxxxx
"More Evangelion units?" Misato asked out loud.
Gendo Ikari, once known only as Yui's reclusive Sub-Commander husband, sat sternly in the Commander's seat at NERV, an unmistakable air of seriousness enshrouding him. "That's correct," he said. "We have reason to believe that future Angel attacks will be beyond our current ability to repel. The last two campaigns have been too close to failure, thus I feel the added support is essential. I've just spoken with the UN. They've unanimously voted to increase our budget to accommodate the further production of Evangelions."
Misato frowned. That last bit was a load of bullshit. She had dealt with the UN before, and knew as well as anyone that the people in the UN were anything but spendthrift, particularly in matters pertain to NERV. Something else was going on behind the scenes.
Was Kaji right?
"What about pilots?" Misato asked, steering the conversation away from the obvious lie in the Commander's speech.
Ritsuko produced a handful of papers, handing them to Misato. "The Marduk report has already located the Sixth and Seventh Children. We estimate that they will locate two more, making that nine in total. In lieu of this, four additional Evangelion units are slated for production, to be released systematically over the course of the next year. As the Eva's arrive, the next child in line will be sent in to pilot it."
Misato bit her lip. That didn't sit well with her at all. She turned her gaze back to the Commander. "With all due respect, Sir, I fail to see the logic in this. The Fourth Child has been in constant training since his arrival two months ago, and has yet to be of use in combat. What good will more inexperienced recruits such as that do us?"
"Do not underestimate the Evangelions, Captain, or their pilots," Gendo said, tersely. "The Fourth Child's abilities may be insignificant now, but in the time frame that we are looking at, he shall be on par with the rest of the pilots when the Angel attacks grow in severity. The same shall be true for the rest of the pilots."
"In any case," Ritsuko added. "They will not be entirely untrained. Basic training is being held at the Third Branch as we speak."
"Back in Tokyo-3, huh?" Misato mused, glaring at the list candidates, as well as Evangelion units 05 through 08. The Evas were all military colors - dark green, brown, tan, and navy blue. They all had the same snarling production model faces that Unit 03 and 04 had, and they were each equipped with the latest iteration of the S2 engine, which were 18 percent more efficient than the one in Unit 03 and 04.
"When can I expect the first of these to arrive?" Misato asked aloud.
Ritsuko nodded. "The second week of January. The Sixth Child should be in Germany by then." Ritsuko cracked a smile. "So don't worry, Misato, you won't get snowed out of your first New Year's celebration in Germany. I know how much you enjoy the local brews."
Misato tried to smile at the joke. "Yeah, I'll get to celebrate my New Year just in time to ruin it for someone else."
Ritsuko nodded, sighing. "You know, Misato...I really hate it when you're right."
xxxxx
After Shinji got most of his tears out of the way, Asuka fixed Shinji a bowl of soup and they both sat together at the table in the kitchenette.
"Now tell me everything," Asuka said comfortingly.
Shinji took a sip from his soup. It was surprisingly good. "I guess it's fate…"
Asuka gave him an odd look. "What do you mean?"
"She looked so happy," Shinji sighed. "They looked…they looked so perfect together. Like it was meant to be or something…"
That told Asuka all she needed. Those were the same words Kaworu had used. So he's upset about Rei, Asuka sighed. But at least Kaworu hadn't seriously hurt him.
"Shinji…" Asuka reached across the table, taking his hand. Shinji shuddered but did not resist. "Maybe you're wrong, maybe you're right…but even if it is fate…what does it matter to you? What is it that you want?"
Shinji rested his weight on the table, not bothering to answer.
"Shinji…" Asuka pressed. "Why did you…kiss me…?"
Shinji shook his head. "I don't know…I guess…I just wanted to feel something other than sadness…"
Asuka frowned. "That's not fair, Shinji…I'm not here to be your safety net. If you want my affection, you have to give me something in return."
Shinji just sat there, unable to come up with anything to say to make things better.
Asuka was still holding his hand across the table, and tightened her grip. "I'm willing, Shinji. I'm willing to help you through this. You know I've always been willing, I know you know."
Asuka leaned over the table and kissed him without hesitation. He did not fight it. He didn't contribute either, but Asuka didn't care. She wanted this. She had wanted this since the day she met him.
"Now, I know you've had a rough day, and that right now, you're not in a position to try to think hard about things," Asuka said, parting with him, an eager smile on her face. "So I'm going to make this very easy on you…"
Asuka got to her feet, and leaned so that her mouth was right up against Shinji's ear.
"…If you follow me to my bedroom," Asuka whispered in a husky voice, "You will get some…"
Asuka let that hang as Shinji's eyes flew open. She smiled, privately - hook, line and sinker.
Shinji hesitated, his breath coming out in large gasping pants. Asuka, for her part, stood up and headed to her room. Shinji, without word, got to his feet and followed.
xxxxx
Maya was secretly thankful that Kyoko had lightened up a bit. Now, instead of being a grouchy bitch, she was back to being a bragging bitch. Not quite as painful to deal with, but still a bitch. Maya's one condolence was the presence of one Ritsuko Akagi in such interactions.
"With these new Evangelion units, we'll have to double the size of the facility!" Professor Soryu exclaimed, excitedly as she strode down the hall, her two subordinate scientists following suit. "I can hardly wait!"
"I need not remind you we are still on a rather tight budget," Ritsuko said.
"Oh, must you always remind me?" Kyoko pouted. "We're scientists! Artificial concepts such as money can't limit us."
Ritsuko sighed. "No, but the law of conservation of energy can."
Kyoko pretended not to hear her. "So, when are the new Eva's coming in? I want to see what they've done with these new S2 engines."
Ritsuko smiled. "The Commander always used to tell me that-"
"The Commander?" Kyoko interrupted. "You mean the current one, or the late one?"
Ritsuko frowned. "The, ah…late Commander…used to-"
"Not that it makes much difference anyway," the red head shrugged. "Though I do wish Gendo had more in mind for the sciences."
Ritsuko furrowed her brow. "I…I beg your pardon Professor, but-"
"What?" Kyoko smirked. "It does make a difference? Don't think I didn't know about your little hero-worship thing going on with Yui. She told me all about how you'd get all flustered when she was around. She couldn't understand it at all. But I knew all too well."
Ritsuko drew in her breath. Where had all this come from?
"Professor, I don't think that's–"
"And then, as soon as she's gone, you start glomming onto her husband for sentimental support?"
"Professor," Ritsuko gaped, blushing. She had not expected her to notice that.
Soryu threw Ritsuko a deadly gaze. "Don't think I haven't noticed the looks you've been giving him. Thinking of moving on, are we?"
Ritsuko was glaring now. The redhead's verbal barbs were hitting her all too deep. "Professor, this conversation is entirely inappropriate!"
Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu just shrugged. "I'm a scientist, Akagi. The truth is everything. And if you can't accept the truth, then you don't deserve to call yourself a scientist."
Ritsuko stopped walking. Maya had also stopped, mostly out of shock for what she had just seen. Kyoko strode on, the event almost entirely forgotten.
"Senpai…" Maya breathed, looking at Ritsuko's sunken head. "I…she…that woman really scares me, Senpai…"
Ritsuko just took a deep breath. "She's a bitch, Maya. She's cunning, ruthless, and resourceful. But she's also a genius. Everything she said about me, Maya…everything she said was true. She may have said it out of spite, but it doesn't change the fact that it's the truth."
Maya gasped as Ritsuko's suddenly clutched her young shoulders.
"What should I do, Maya?" Ritsuko began to sob. "I've devoted my life to science, and had so little to myself. But then the Commander…Yui…she…"
Maya didn't know what to make of what she was witnessing. Here was her senior, whom she had known and respected since joining NERV, and she was spilling her heart out to her.
Cautiously, Maya stroked the blonde's shoulders. "It's okay, Senpai…there's still a lot more to do in life, right? I mean, you've still got so many years left to live, it's not like you've wasted them all here. I think it's wonderful that you had feelings for Yui. And even if you faun over the Commander, at least you'll know that you haven't lost those emotions, right? So don't feel guilty about how you feel, Senpai…okay?"
Ritsuko sniffed again, her whole body shaking as she clutched one of the few people she could trust. She dried her eyes and gave the short haired girl a warm smile. "Thank you, Maya. I'm sorry to have to dump all this on you…"
"Please, Senpai…" Maya smiled. "We all need some emotional support now and then. If you ever want to talk…I'm always here, okay?"
Ritsuko smiled back at her, this time truly revitalized. "Thank you, Maya. That really means a lot to me."
The young tech just smiled back.
With a new feeling of kinship and understanding, the two ladies resumed their steady march within the artificial Geo-Front.
xxxxx
"Programme ende."
Toji shook his head clean of LCL as he exited the test plug.
"You're getting better, Toji," Kaworu smiled, already out of his test plug. "You'll be on par with Shinji in no time."
Toji surprised himself by blushing at the compliment. Kaworu was fun to hang out with, but sometimes he felt that maybe he was getting too relaxed around the guy. With Hikari waiting for him back in Tokyo-3, he was practically celibate as it was. Despite his protests to Asuka's prodding, he was finding it difficult to resist some of the local beauties. He was a growing boy after all. It was confusing enough without spending time with the effeminate boy.
"I'd be satisfied if I could even contribute to a fight," Toji sighed, not letting his embarrassment show. "The way they've been using me, I feel like the runt of the litter."
Kaworu nodded, following Toji as he strode down the hall. "I'm sorry that you feel that way. You must remember to be patient. Your fellow pilots and I have been training for practically all our lives."
Toji shook his head. "That's what I'm saying. You guys have such a lead over me, and you're still advancing. Even if I ever get to your level, you'll all have advanced even further."
Kaworu shrugged. "Well, our sync ratios do peak after a while. We all have our thresholds. Who knows? You may find your best to be even greater than mine."
Toji sighed, opening the door to the locker room, stepping into the eerily sanitary white room. "That'll be the day."
Kaworu smiled as he quickly slid out of his plug suit, not bothering to cover himself as he casually entered the shower.
Toji cringed at Kaworu's lack of modesty. "Damn foreigners…" he muttered under his breath as his eyes caught more then they wanted, a slight twinge of envy in his voice.
"Did you say something?" Kaworu's voice sounded amidst the steam coming from the showers.
"Nothing," Toji grunted.
xxxxx
Rei was pacing the halls of NERV. She could not recall feeling more guilty in her life. She couldn't believe what she'd done. Kaworu had simply approached her, and she'd given into him. She'd reacted exactly the way he wanted her to. She had been completely unable to resist. Every single neuron in her brain had said no, but neither her body nor her voice had been able to protest. She felt so weak…so helpless…so completely out of control…
Yet, something about the whole feeling made feel aroused all over again!
Shinji never made her feel that way to this extent! He made her feel nice to be sure, but Rei had always been able to fend him off when things got too serious. Shinji was a charming, good-looking boy in her mind. But Kaworu…
Rei nearly collapsed as she recalled the way he touched her. Just thinking about the pale boy sent chills up her spine. She couldn't stop picturing his face, his captivating eyes, his effervescent scent, his strong, lithe build and…
This time she really did collapse.
Why in God's name did Kaworu have to be so damn gorgeous?
Rei got to her feet and started walking. She wanted to see Shinji, but she was afraid to face him. She couldn't face him, not like this – not while every cell in her body screamed for someone else.
Rei froze realizing her right hand had unconsciously drifted south. She looked down at the offending limb in disbelief. What the hell was wrong with her? Why was she reacting so strongly to this boy? Not only could she not get her mind off of him, but her body as well? How was she supposed to go on like this?
She removed her hand from its lecherous wandering.
It was damp.
She cried.
"Rei?"
The voice had come from down the hall. It was a voice she knew. And there were tragically few people who referred to her by her first name.
Shinji had been scheduled for a test that day, though his mind was on anything but. Wandering towards the locker rooms, he had spied Rei down the hall. A split second later, he saw that she was crying.
He wanted to go to her. He should be going to her. If he had a scrap of decency left him, he would have gone to her.
Rei watched the boy she loved take a step forward, and she was afraid. She watched him lift his foot for another step, before stopping.
She saw the guilt in his eyes. She saw her own tragic self-hatred reflected on his face. What he had to feel guilty for she did not know. But time seemed to disappear, as the two of them stood frozen.
Rei's lips breathed his name on words laid with tears.
Shinji didn't reply. His eyes seemed to wither. Then he took a step backwards, away from her.
Then he took another step back.
And another step.
And another.
And another.
xxxxx
A/N: Yeah, yeah, I left you off on a sad note. Go ahead and hate me. I've planned this out all the way to the end, and I've too far to stop now.
This was done almost entirely on my palm pilot, and I've spent the majority of the day fixing all the apostrophe's and quotation marks and ellipses that didn't quite solidity. So sue me, I'm fastidious.
And yes, Asuka's pickup line was borrowed from "The Wedding Singer." Please don't sue me, Mr. Sandler!
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