Hey... As promised next chapter is ready with a lot of action and tension. And then end... I really have to say I'm proud of it.
As usual you're reviews are expected and appreciated, some of you give me hints of what they would do... and I like it.
There's just something I have doubts on: I think you got this fic is pretty rough and tensed, I changed the rate to be sure. Let me know if you want me to warn you before writing more action into it. I haven't decided about it yet but... if I did, I don't want to impress anyone so... tell me if you want notes on it before.
I wish you a good reading!
Adele was starting to get mad. Really mad.
Not only her husband had forgotten about her long time planned dinner with the Warrens, two of their closest friends, but now he was snubbing her.
They had been sitting in the desert cafeteria for ten minutes and he kept checking his phone and looking around. If she didn't know better, she'd think everything was done on purpose and he wanted to avoid her. To increase her bad mood, the coffee wasn't any better she remembered. It was awful. Maybe this night trip to SGH hadn't been worth. She took a sip from her cup and Richard picked up the phone again.
"If you didn't want to spend time with me, you could tell"
"What?"
She rolled her eyes.
"You are irritating, Richard. All you can look at is your damned phone. It's three in the morning and I came here for you. You could even try to look at me for more than ten seconds straight"
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry, Adele"
He took her hand on the table.
"This meeting is really bothering me. I wasn't used to this late hours anymore. I guess I'm tired and need some sleep"
"Was it really so urgent to be done tonight?"
"Yeah… you know how the Board works. I thought I had some more day to arrange the papers and everything. Jennings called me in the late afternoon and I lost track of everything. I'm sorry"
"Don't be. It was a normal, routine dinner. Alice complaining about the kids and Gregory about her hair dresser"
"I can almost hear that"
They both chuckled, their hands still in contact.
"I guess it's better you go back to your boring meeting. I'd really like to have you home tomorrow in the morning"
Richard's jaw tightened, Adele arched her eyebrows.
"As you plan to come home, right?"
"Of course, darling. I just have to leave the schedules to Bailey and the others. They'll do without me"
"And the walls won't crumble down?"
"I hope not"
He stood up and rounded the table, gallantly pulling the chair Adele was sitting on.
"Thank you"
"I'll walk you to the parking lot"
"No need to do that… I'll come to your office. Adam offered to walk me from there"
"Ok… after you"
They left the cafeteria and walked down the silent hallways. Many doors were closed and Adele looked around surprised.
"Did you cut the night shift again?"
"No, why do you ask?"
"As this place is desert and all is locked up… I assumed you had cut other nurses…"
"I didn't… We're just doing some maintenance"
They turned around a corner and a doctor appeared in front of them
"Dr. Webber…"
Richard recognized a radiologist.
"Dr. Teller…"
He meant to say hi but the man stopped in front of him. Webber's face got serious.
"What the hell is going on down here?"
Adele frowned and looked to her husband. Apparently there was really something strange.
"Nothing… we had a problem in the evening and the maintenance team is on work. I thought it was better to seal the area"
"Yes… I get that… but all my instruments and charts are in there. What am I supposed to do now?"
"I'll ask someone to go and catch your files. Even if you know you should not leave them in the check room"
He walked away, bringing Adele with him.
"And what about the radiology department?"
"The whole area will be closed today… Go to the upper floor"
They heard the man protesting while walking away.
"This place is really crumbling down…"
They opened the last door and started to cross the catwalk. Nurse Mary, a woman on her 50s Adele knew very well, met her halfway.
"Mrs. Webber…"
"Adele is still fine for you… How are you?"
"Good…"
"Just good?"
"I would be better if our Chief didn't cut us like grass in June"
"How can I say you're wrong in that?"
Richard rolled his eyes.
"And if that's not enough, I have just spotted a horde of black men barricated in radiology. Did dr. Teller mess up again with the machine?"
Adele turned to look at Richard puzzled, he gave them both a reassuring smile.
"None of that. Instruments are off and there are some drill going on. It's fine, Mary"
"Ok… I'll go and set this stuff in order… It was a pleasure, Adele"
They shared a smile and she walked away.
"Maintenance and drills… Rough night in radiology"
Richard sighed, he hated to lie to her. But he really couldn't do through her panic on top of everything else.
"You know how this stuff go… When we have to shut down a department, we take the chance to make even safety training and whatever"
Adele stopped in front of his door. She was looking straight into her husband's eyes. She had taken the chance to take a glance inside and she hadn't had the impression to be seeing business men discussing about a financial report. Faces were tensed, even strained. And she had seen people who were not supposed to be in the hospital at that time of the night.
"You'd tell me if something was going on, right?"
Lie, protect, silence, privacy.
He smiled to her.
"Go home. Take a good nap even for me. I'll see you tomorrow"
He bent forward to kiss her forehead.
"I love you"
Adele's lips twitched in a smile.
"It's easy to say it after the you stood me up"
She turned around and left. Richard's smile fell when he entered his office again.
"Any news?"
Everyone turned to look at him, his doctors were all as worried as before. No good news at least.
"He asked for water and one of my men is taking it to him"
"Nothing else?"
"No"
"You talked to Meredith or Cristina or Derek?"
"No, he hang off just after his request"
Richard fell on his leather chair snorting. He rolled on the casters, apparently Adele had left buying his pack of lies.
"Will your wife keep it silent?"
"I didn't tell her anything…"
"And you think she didn't get it?"
"She just trusted me when I said everything was fine. But people is already noticing stuff… And dozens of people armed to the teeth closed up in a hospital wing doesn't support the theory of work in progress"
"I'll tell Brig to shadow the glasses of the border doors"
He picked up the radio.
"Brig… it's Falks"
The radio buzzed bothering the present's ears.
"I'm here… They have just picked up the water"
"Him?"
"No… A woman… dark hair… Asian features… I just could take a quick glance at her but she looked fine"
Bailey rubbed Owen's shoulders as he breathed out. At the moment Cristina was fine.
"Ok… Webber had to walk out of his office and employees signaled your presence down there. Blind all the windows and doors giving on the hallway. I don't want curious people to nose into there. If someone asks you, you are doing a safety training session. But let's minimize the contacts with outside. If anyone needs to go out, leave weapons and equipment inside"
"We have to look like innocuous workers… I got it"
"Good… let's keep in touch"
The communication was interrupted and silence fell in the room again.
Richard loved silence usually. Especially when he was sitting to his desk. It meant everything was fine and he had time to check his budgets, reports, do the planning.
But today… today he had grown to hate it.
Silence was waiting. Waiting was doing nothing. And doing nothing with three of his people in mortal danger was getting harder minute by minute. It brought awful thoughts with it.
Derek's words still echoed in his ears.
He hadn't felt the impact down in the locker room. Now he did. With all its destructive and unbearable weight.
Derek had actually made him a vocal will, he had talked to him like he was going to die.
Before Richard could realize and react, his eyes were leaking with tears.
All the present noticed it, Falks gestured Lynch and Brandon to leave the doctors some privacy, they would wait outside.
"I need to fix something in Caldwell… I'll be here outside. Just call if he phones again"
They went out and Bailey approached the chief, a hand on his shoulder.
"Chief…"
"Yeah?"
"Do you want me to get you something?"
"No, I have just drank a coffee, I'm fine, Bailey"
He felt wet on his hands, leaning on his desk. He looked down and saw a drop. He realized it was one of his tears. He wiped them away quickly.
"My conjunctivitis isn't improving… I have to tell Randy to chance this freaking treatment"
He opened one drawer and pulled out a little bottle of drops. His hands were shaking though.
"It's fine to be upset, Chief. You don't need to hide it"
Richard launched the bottle back in the drawer and snapped it shut. He sighed.
"I hate this"
"I know"
"I hate waiting"
"I know"
He slammed a hand on his desk and all the others jumped on their sits.
"You don't know a damn thing, Miranda! You hadn't to go downstairs and tell Derek you would take care of Meredith if he died… You hadn't to promise him you would go downtown to pick up a damned engagement ring and give it to her… Don't you dare to come here and tell me you know everything as you don't!"
Miranda too was close to tears.
"We don't have to do this"
Owen was standing in the mid of the room; since she knew him, Miranda had never heard him talking in this calm and soothing voice.
"It was difficult to anyone, Chief"
"No… it wasn't"
Mark's voice came from nowhere. Bailey shivered immediately. It was full of remorse and resentment.
"Nobody here tried anything to stop him… None of you…"
He stood up, his lips trembling with every word.
"You shouldn't feel bad about the promises you had to make… You should feel bad as you fed him to that sociopath without even thinking twice"
"Sloan…"
Owen tried to touch his arm but Mark shoved him away.
"Don't you dare… you think you know Derek but you don't… you don't!"
Hunt recoiled. Mark was clearly having a panic attack. His breathing was heavy for the tension and the yelling. He raised a finger pointing it at Webber "And the people who are supposed to know him had to know better… Do you really think he can face Dunn? Talk to him about his dad? For Christ's sake, Webber… We had to pick up his pieces for months… years after that night… You were there… How could you possibly think it was fine to let him go? It's still a hole in his gut… Is this about Meredith, isn't it?"
Richard looked at him, he had no strength left to answer back. He just stood up and rounded his desk, standing in front of him.
"You chose her… You'd sacrifice anything and anyone for her…"
"It wasn't my choice, Mark and you know it"
"And this crap does make you feel better? Does it make your conscience clean?"
"No… It doesn't. I love Derek… Do you think it was easy to me?"
"You made it look easy"
"Do you think panicking on him would ease his situation… change his decision?"
Mark swallowed, there was a truth in Webber's words.
"Derek had already decided and you know him… he doesn't change his mind… We tried… Everyone here tried… But we had to take note and try to give him courage. He'll need it… you're right. And I'll need to… when Meredith comes out of there… if… She'll never forgive me"
Mark looked to the floor, tension taking control of him. He breathed out and sat on the couch, hiding his face.
"I'm sorry…"
Richard just nodded. He got Sloan's despair, really. He knew he loved Derek, in his way, but he did.
No friendship would have survived his blows otherwise.
Or maybe it survived as it wasn't just friendship, it was more like brotherhood.
Derek, I know it's been hard on you
He was like my brother. I have four sisters, four very annoying sisters. Mark was my brother. It's… it's hard
Webber knew the Sheperds had practically adopted Mark, he slept at their house, ate with them, studied and played with Derek. Just a signature of the tribunal hadn't turned him into a real, nominative Sheperd. But relationships had grown close, so close Derek didn't kill him when he found out about Addison and their affair. It took time but they reunited. And now they were double dating two sisters.
How would call you this if not fate?
Mark used to lean a lot on Derek, he listened to his advice when it came to important stuff. He was some kind of a model to him, the mighty guy who could everything. On work and outside.
But like every superhero, he had a soft point.
A dark side.
A black hole.
And Richard hoped it wouldn't swallow his entire life.
Meredith was drinking greedily from the bottle.
It was hot in there.
The conditioning wasn't working anymore and she was sweated.
Even for the anxiety of course… but she could say breathing was becoming more and more difficult.
Her throat and mouth were dry. Water felt awesome while going down her esophagus.
She stopped and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, Cristina was freshening up her forehead, probably soothing also the impact point on her head.
Dunn had closed in the toilet again and Meredith didn't lose time to approach Derek. She raised the bottle and pressed it to his lips. He took some sip.
"How are you?"
"Fine"
There was strain in his voice and she looked down to his hands. His wrists were red, scratches had tormented his skin. She spilled a little bit of water on them and he flinched.
"I'm sorry… but it's going to get better like this"
"I know… I know…"
She messaged his forearms trying to soothe tiredness away.
"I'm good, Meredith, really"
She stopped and looked at him, her eyes resting for the first time on his neck.
They narrowed at the sight of the little hole Dunn had dig in it.
She looked around and spotted some gauze abandoned on the tray. She marched and took it, approaching Derek again. She reversed water on them, wetting and moistening and she settled the bottle down, ready to do a superficial cleaning and medication. To her surprise, Derek avoided her touch when she moved her hand towards him.
"What?"
"I don't think it's a good idea, Mer"
"Why not? There's nothing else in here… no disinfectant or anything… It's the best thing I found"
"I know… I wasn't discussing about water… I don't want you to piss him off"
Meredith breathed out. She was really on the verge of losing her nerve now.
"You're bleeding and I just want to stop it"
"I'm fine"
"You're not…"
She applied pressure on his neck despite he tried to recoil again, flinching when she heard him wincing and seeing the grimace of pain which contorted his face.
"And I'm not going to ignore it as he may got mad on me"
Dunn chose that right moment to come out. He was marching to his sit without looking at her.
"Why should I get mad on you?"
He sank on the chair growling and he chuckled seeing her treating Derek.
"Oh… you got all nursy to him"
"The wound is still bleeding… I just wanted to stop it"
"Of course…"
She stared at William, he sounded true to her and she wondered if he had changed his mind about them. He had been nice before, during their conversation and Meredith had found her courage back. She was still scared, but she was even combative and determined to stand her ground. He had intimidated her too much before. He was now rummaging in his pants pockets, his eyes still fixed on them.
"Actually I think you could work better if you freed him" he fished out a key and, without any notice, he launched it to Meredith. She took it by instinct, immediately lowering her eyes on it. When she looked up, William could see she was really astonished.
"Come on, Grey… before I change my mind… Any joke though"
He laid the gun on his knee and looked at them carefully.
Meredith quickly opened the handcuffs trapping Derek's wrists and then kneeled to free his ankles. Derek couldn't help but grimacing and stroking his skin trying to relieve the pain. His back hurt more than ever now, he could budge and move to a normal position and all his muscles were rebelling to it. Meredith was spilling more water on his hands to give him some solace, it wasn't very cold, but it was finally better than nothing.
"You can take a chair if you want… I assume you're tired"
Derek looked at him trying to get why his attitude had changed that much.
It was impossible Falks had promised him anything, their calls had been too short.
He was startled by his reflections when something hit his knees, he turned around and saw Meredith setting down a chair for him. He sat and couldn't help to sigh at the feeling. His pupils never left William though. He was planning something, he could tell, it was like he had finally squared the circle, decided a strategy and acting as a consequence. He didn't want to fool himself believing he had grown human all at once. No, he definitely had something in mind even if, by now, he couldn't get what. Their eyes were locked, Dunn was looking straight at him. It was like their survival depended on this… him holding his icy gaze. William's lips curled in a little smile and he patted the chair next to him.
"Come to sit here, dr. Grey… I hold this place for you"
Derek's jaw tightened, he squeezed Meredith's hand tighter to reassure her. His brain didn't want to let go of her, it felt so safe and good now… He would stand up and be tied up again if this meant keeping Meredith by his side. William read though his face.
"I'll give her back to you, don't worry… but you don't want her there for this, I promise"
Meredith looked dazed, she was worried what was going to happen now. Derek let go of her hand and brushed her arm giving her a squeeze, he shifted his eyes to Dunn and Meredith got he was asking her to go and do what he wanted. She sighed and did it, sitting awkwardly on the chair William had arranged for her. She took a look to Cristina, she was sitting Indian style on the floor.
"So… we are getting to the core of this… We talked about a load of crap, I stuck my nose in your stuff to break the ice and getting to know each other a little bit better. Remember what I told you the day I came in?"
He'll warm up as we get to know each other.
I don't think so.
You'll see.
"Do you find me nicer now?"
Derek pondered his options, he really couldn't lie on this.
"No…"
"It's a lost fight with you… And I'm sorry for that. You would feel better now you'll tell us about your father"
Derek's breath hitched in his throat, he leant heavily on the backrest, his eyes never leaving William and Meredith.
His girlfriend from her part was stunned too.
Dunn had fooled her, again.
She thought he had turned human again, he was just taking time to let them breathe and hit harder. She read it in his eyes, the hate and evil they reflected for Derek were making her sick.
He was going to torture him forcing him to remember, to share his pain.
This would destroy him and she didn't mean to sit there and watch it happening without doing anything.
"There's nothing more he'll tell you about that… You know what happened…"
Her voice was high pitched and shaking at the same time.
William tilted his head to the side, looking at her wickedly.
"You don't need to warm that much, dr. Grey… And actually… I know nothing. You do know nothing… otherwise I would too… There's nothing you'd keep from me, right?"
His hand stretched towards her and brushed her chin.
"Aren't you curious to know all the story?"
Meredith closed her eyes feeling his fingers stroking her cheek.
"Get your hands off her"
William looked back to Derek, he was standing in front of his chair, furious and willing to take him by the throat.
"This depends on you, I guess…"
He let go of her chin but rolled one of his fingers in Meredith's curls.
"Do you see, dr. Grey? Men use to make great promises, they offer you the sun and the moon. They talk like they would give everything for you. Including their own lives… But then they stop when the play gets a bit uncomfortable. This is too hard to you, Sheperd? Sharing a memory to get me stop hurting the love of your life?" He yanked Meredith's hair violently and she cried out in pain, she was lifted from her sit and pulled towards William, her body bumping into his. Both Cristina and Derek jumped forward but he was ready to display the gun to Meredith's temple.
"Take a sit!"
He moved the barrel towards Cristina who was standing ten feet from him, her hands high in surrender.
"I said sit, now"
She recoiled against the wall and slipped down against it.
"Let her, please…"
He tightened his grip instead and Meredith whimpered, Derek's eyes grew wider.
"Will you have a kind conversation with me, doc?"
Sheperd swallowed and nodded.
"Let her…"
William shoved Meredith to the ground and shook his head to Derek who had made a step to her direction.
"Her friend will take care of her for the moment…"
Cristina was stroking her back, trying to stop the sobs which were shaking her frame.
"Let's focus on us now… How did your father die?"
There was no compassion in the way he asked that, Derek shivered. It was just about morbidity and cruelty. This was going to be one hell of conversation.
"He got shot during a robbery in his shop"
After a moment of silence, William burst out laughing.
"Seriously? And what is your deal with it? Why is it so hard to tell? I'm kind of disappointed, you know? Usually people get killed in robberies as they do something stupid, they react, they try to escape or to aggress their aggressor. It's not really a murder… I guess he tried to disarm the guy and got shot accidentally"
"No, he didn't"
"And in this case, I would say he practically asked for it"
"He didn't"
Meredith's teary eyes focused on Derek's face, everything was a blur but she could see his greeted teeth and his breathing getting faster by the second. Dunn was triggering his memories and clearly trying to torment him. And he was succeeding. As she was in there and he could do nothing but playing his sick game not to get her hurt. In other circumstances, Meredith was sure Derek would rather being shot that talk about this.
William's eyes were sparkling in excitement on the contrary. He had found a point to enter Sheperd's defenses and was taking full advantage of it. He loved the way he squirmed after his questions, he could almost feel his brain working to find a different answer. But the barrel pointed to his girlfriend's temple made him impressively cooperative and sincere. And he was going to destroy him. There was something angry in the way he stated his father didn't get killed by chance. A rage which he was willing to explore and know better.
"Oh… and why are you so sure about it?"
Derek loosened the collar of his shirt, he sensed Meredith was looking at him.
"No… don't tell me he tried to protect you and got shot at your place"
"No"
"But you were there, weren't you?"
Derek sighed, hiding his face in both hands. Talking about this with a man like Dunn felt like profaning his father's grave, the promise he had made to bury this angst and pain with his rose wood coffin. He was breathing heavily, just like his father did right before dying. He would tell him to humor this sick man, to play his game. Nothing was worth losing a loved one. He would tell him to be a man and raise his head, he had nothing to be ashamed of.
"I was"
Dunn chuckled pitilessly. This was even better than he thought.
"How old were you?"
"21"
"And you did nothing… You just stayed there watching?"
Derek felt like this man was twisting the knife in the wound, he couldn't do that. His throat went dry, William sensed he was going to shut up and turned the gun to Meredith again. Derek reacted immediately.
"I was with my sister. I couldn't do anything… just"
Derek closed his eyes.
He could still feel his fingertips closing his eyelids once dead.
"Oh yes… just keeping your asses safe and leave him to die… I know the drill. I have to say this kind of disappoints me. You're so hard-fighting and full of moral crap now… I wonder where all this stuff was when you just closed your eyes while your father got killed"
Meredith sobbed. She knew Derek felt guilty for this. They had never talked about it actually, but Derek was Derek. Witnessing his father's murder without budging one finger was probably the reason why he had never told anything to anyone. He had stored the memory in his soul like a punishment and Dunn was ripping his chest open with a spoon right now to get it all out.
"Did he die right there?"
"Yes"
"He got lucky"
Derek looked at him in disbelief.
"Few gunshot wounds are mortal on impact. Many people rest on the floor and die after hours of agony. You should know that better than me. And this means he got shot either in two places… Head or heart?"
Derek swallowed sometimes, he could feel tears raising in the corners of his eyes. He jumped on his sit when Dunn yelled at him.
"I'm waiting here"
He lowered his head in defeat and words slipped out like a sick and hollow whisper.
"Heart"
"The death of honest men… as the saying goes … do you know it? I met a man in jail… he was executed eight months ago. He killed 16 people shooting them in different places. He taught me a lot of stuff about guns and their outcomes. He could keep his victims awake and alive for almost ten hours… Can you imagine that?"
He couldn't as it was too horrible to even think of it, he had the strong idea William was really delighted instead. And he had a gun. And he was treating Meredith like a private property. A picture started to form in his brain but he closed it away.
"What happened then?"
"What do you think it happened?"
"Your old man died and he left your pretty family in a total despair. Did your mother get married again?"
"No"
"Strange… most widows find other partners after… The fact she didn't tells me the police didn't arrest the guy who shot him and she didn't overcome her grief…"
Derek looked away, he was counting up to fifty in his head not to react to this cold and calculated torture, he didn't really get how a man could find amusement and fun in these tragedies, why he could be so interested in this. But the answer was clear. Dunn didn't give a crap of his family, mother and whatever, he just wanted to get to him, break him. And Derek was far from admitting it but… he was succeeding. His heart was pounding wildly in his chest and he was on the verge of crying, his head was haunted by awful images and noises and smells. He tried to regain composure breathing in and out, he needed to calm down.
"It's a pity you didn't either. You could have helped her better than this"
Derek swallowed this last blow without even blinking.
"Anyway… I keep thinking there's nothing fascinating in pulling a trigger. Every brainless moron would do that. Handling a knife instead is a rare art… it's like creating a masterpiece every time. Your father got killed by a lame ass loser, an underdog. If I'm a killer there's no way he can be compared to me"
"The result was the same"
"But the purpose was different. He killed to steal, he stole as he had to survive. I killed as I liked it. He cheapened our talents… people like him don't even get the capital offense. You wasted all your energy to hate a meaningless person. If you want to know real killers to blame, I can introduce plenty to you. It's a big world. And I'm some kind of celebrity. A lot of guys came to look for me to have lessons, advice… hints. You need dexterity to use a knife like I did. We are similar even in this"
"You just fool yourself if you really think we have something to share or in common. You keep saying that to find a kind of justification to your actions but… it's bullshit and you know it"
"You're wrong… I don't seek for any justification. With great powers comes great responsibility. I took them. You pretend not to know what comes with your job instead"
"I got to know when I took an oath. I got to know the first time I wasn't able to save a patient. But I never did it on purpose. I never let someone die on my watch. Even if he wanted. There are rules in a hospital and I bought it all. My likings or disliking always stay out of my OR. And I did it with you too"
"You just wanted to deliver me to executioner"
"I just didn't want to kill you. It's not on me what will happen to you next. That's on you"
"Right… keep saying yourself that. I need to pee"
Something was definitely going on.
Richard felt it.
Because, as Chief, he sensed when people were about to make choices, when they were about to take responsibilities, when they were hiding the truth. And Falks was.
He had left the room once during his fight with Mark and Webber had taken it as a gesture of politeness and respect. You don't wash your dirty linen in public. But he had done it again, and again, and again. He was out even now and Richard started to feel uncomfortable and suspicious. He stood up and decided to face the topic. He opened the door and crossed the hallway approaching the man near the beginning of the catwalk. He hang off the phone as soon as he spotted him.
"Did he call?"
"No, what's going on?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean. You spend more time here than inside. Are you planning to do something without telling me?"
"I don't need to tell you anything"
"You're wrong. As this is my hospital and you're heading an unofficial operation. I could pick up the phone and call the police. I didn't as I thought we were trying to manage this together. I don't like to be set aside"
Falks felt disoriented. He had underestimated Webber's nerve. Last time he had left his office, he was a beaten man, criticized by his subordinates and barely holding on. Now he was roaring at him.
It was admiring, he was a real captain. And apparently he couldn't cut him off the operations. It was good and bad at the same time. Good as he could help, he knew that place better than anyone else, his suggestions could turn out to be vital if they decided to break into the room, bad as he could mess their plans up. Being emotionally involved with the hostages could shadow the judgment and Falks hadn't told him the main principle of sieges. And he was sure Webber wouldn't like it. At this moment he preferred to avoid the topic. As telling him he did his doctors for dead would be a difficult knock to stand. The only reason he was there was to bring Dunn back, earlier than possible. And the moment they talked, things were getting more and more complicated. It was very possible they would receive visits in a short time. He could tell him this at least.
"You're right… I'm sorry. But I wanted to be sure about this before sharing it with you"
Richard looked at him waiting.
"There were journalists outside the prison waiting for the van which had to bring Dunn back. And a lot of demonstrators. For him and against him. They realized nobody arrived"
Richard sighed. It was the end of their secret.
"What do you plan to say?"
"Nothing by now. My press office bought time saying we preferred to use a secondary gate but… it's a matter of time now. I have just spoken with the general attorney and he is coming here. We'll decide what to do once he is here"
"Ok…"
"It's going to be a shock for you Webber"
"Excuse me?"
"I wanted to keep this from you. And for sure I want to keep it from them"
He gestured to the doctors still in his office and Richard started to feel nervous.
"What are you trying to say?"
"The moment dr. Jermin comes here, he'll take the control of the situation and operations. My men will oblige to him. And he has a very clear opinion of what to do. He wants him out, whether your people is still inside or not. Whether they're alive or dead. As for our standards, they're dead now"
"Why did you let Derek go in then?"
"Excuse me?"
"You perfectly got what I'm saying. Why did you let him go in if you thought they were all going to die?"
"I didn't say that…"
"You just said…"
"I said that we give them for dead. We'll try anything we can. But in our choices, in our strategies, we won't consider them"
Webber was about to speak again and Falks decided to be completely true.
"If I had found a way to go in, I would have already given the order. But I didn't. That place is a blockhouse. The only way is to break the hesitance and knock down the door. I don't think I need to tell you what will happen if we do that"
"Don't then. You're sure he'll come out, just give Derek time to talk to him and trade with him. It's what they both wanted. If you use force, there's no way they'll survive"
Richard's eyes settled on a man approaching, his face hardened. Falks followed his gaze and sighed.
"It's not me you have to say this… not anymore"
He made some step towards the approaching man, he stretched his hand but the newcomer refused it and sent him a deathly glare.
"You had to call me immediately"
"I tried, but your secretary refused to give me your mobile number. She had to contact you herself and it took time. I couldn't wait"
"But you had to. And if you had, we wouldn't have wasted one more life"
Richard was starting to get nervous. There was too much talking of lost and wasted lives for his liking.
"Maybe not… but we'd have two dead women on the back. I prefer where I am now"
Jermin sighed, this story was a mess and the last thing he needed was fighting mr. Andrew Falks.
This situation was a potential bomb ticking under his chair, under his ambition to be elected again. He had won the last round thanks to William Dunn and the sentence he had earned for him, now he risked to lose everything for the same man. Karma was a bitch.
Having Dunn in Caldwell had been one of his bigger achievements. He had followed the trial, served the jury unmistakable evidences, led himself a dramatic examination to Dunn. The man was a monster, the cruelty he had reserved to his victims proved it without further invitation, but American Law was great for this reason: every man was innocent till contrary prove. And Jermin had shoved the contrary prove in front of anyone. He had won a death penalty and after the two canonic years of exile, Dunn's had been transferred home. Among a horde of protests and complains. His lawyer was afraid other prisoners would kill him during his first night. Even for the prison code, he was a renegade, trash. He had killed women and he didn't deserve any respect. But, unlike predictions and general beliefs, he had survived. Other inmates feared him as he was cold and calculator and sanguinary. His name was still alive in the chronicles and his execution had been mentioned between the three most awaited events of the year. Seattle wanted justice, it wanted to flip page and forget one of his most doomed citizen ever.
The sensation this new episode of his life was going to generate scared him by now.
He had killed two people. For now. And three were in his hands. His post was already shaking and he didn't know what was better to do.
He could leave the responsibility of this action to Falks, let him lead the negotiation as he wanted. But he knew it would be useless. Dunn had everything under control and his coming out and surrendering depended just on him. And the nerve this doctor… dr. Sheperd could keep in a life threatening situation.
"How is the situation now?"
"Nothing has changed. We had a contact half an hour ago and he asked for water. We fulfilled the requirement and after that… nothing. My men say the situation is quiet, they don't hear anything…"
"And you didn't find a possible way in"
Jermin's sentence cut through the fake calm Falks was seeding around. It pointed out nothing had been made as there was no way, silence and apparent calmness were just a sweet pill.
"Right"
Falks's radio decided to booze in that precise moment.
Meredith didn't want to let go of Derek's shoulders.
She was hugging him tight, tighter she could.
Her doubts had found confirm in the worst possible way.
He had witnessed his father's death, he was with one of his sisters. Which one… it really didn't matter.
What mattered was that he had seen an unknown man pulling the trigger and killing his dad.
In a blink.
An instant they were probably joking and talking, the next someone entered their world and ripped it apart.
Forever.
I go to families and I tell them their world has been ripped apart all the time.
And I fight like a dog to make sure that I don't have to deliver that message, and I lose that fight all the time. Then some guy like Dunn comes along and simply throws it away… life? Then he's got the nerve to tell me that he and I are two sides of the same coin?
No wonder he had suffered so much for Dunn's words.
It had been a double wound.
The first for the memory he took with him, she had noticed sometimes he spoke in his sleep or whatever… she had never paid attention to those words. Now she probably knew sometimes they were not dreams but nightmares. A little frame which changed his life and his family.
She thought she was messed up… she had to go in therapy. But even Derek had really hard stuff to deal with. And she had never imagined anything.
The second was an unforgivable offense.
By the time his father was killed Derek was already in med school, he had already chosen to become a doctor. Fate had made him watch powerlessly his father die in his arms. But he hadn't given up, he had probably studied harder and become an incredible, awesome, one out of a one hundred thousand surgeon. His goal was to save lives, to change his patients' fate in good. Not in bad. Accusing him of the contrary was stabbing his heart and soul in an unbearable way.
Now she got why he had hated Dunn from the very beginning.
As he had sensed his evilness, his not repentance, his amusement.
And now she hated him too.
Only it was too late.
He had broken a soap bubble, disturbed his balance, dishonored a memory Derek had kept secret and protected all these years.
She had felt for him, cried during his telling; she had sensed from his tone he was making violence to himself. And he had made it for her.
If she had needed a further prove of his love, here it was.
It was more than anyone had never done for her.
And, sensing Derek's exhaustion and sadness, she hoped it hadn't been too much.
She hid his face in his chest and inhaled deeply, tears spotting his shirt.
"I'm sorry"
"It's fine"
"It's not… I'm so sorry, Derek. I really wanted to ask you… to know… but not like this. It's my fault"
He didn't try to reassure her on this this time, to scold her.
He just stayed silent and Meredith knew he was fighting an inner battle to stay strong and not break down in front of them.
She tightened her hug.
Suddenly Derek's grip loosened and she heard his breathing stopping.
She looked up and saw his eyes narrowing in fear.
She didn't need to turn around to see what was frightening him.
She heard a gun being cocked behind her.
Derek moved her aside and pushed her behind his back, shielding her body with his. In the process she saw William pointing a gun at them.
"Well… I guess it's time we get to the point"
Dunn's voice was cold and determined. Meredith shivered behind Derek and started to cry.
"What do you want again?"
Cristina's voice sounded exacerbated and desperate at the same time.
William didn't even lose time to answer her, he moved quick like a thunder and shot a warning bullet to the wall behind her. Cristina covered her ears and Meredith screamed.
Grey's cell started to ring almost immediately.
He took it and answered the call.
"Hallo?"
This time he didn't let them hear the content of his communication with the negotiators, it wasn't his priority.
"I didn't shoot anyone yet, Falks. But hold on… that's for you all"
He pressed a button and leant the cell on the tray.
Derek could hear the sounds of Webber's office filling the room.
"We have company now… I love to have company for this"
He looked at him in pure hate but Derek felt terrorized as his eyes searched Meredith, standing behind him.
"Let them go, Dunn. We'll sort things out between men"
William chuckled, the gun trained to Derek's chest.
He made a step towards them and Derek recoiled, his hands behind his back to prevent Meredith to lean out and see. Meredith made a step back too.
"There was a part of me which screamed you're weren't going to show up, doc. And you know why?"
Derek's throat was suddenly dry, Meredith was sobbing behind him.
"As you had seen what a man could do to you… and you wouldn't want to go there. You surprised me, I owe you that. But it's not you I want now"
Falks and another man Derek didn't know were yelling in the phone. His attention was all on the black hole in front of him. His hands closed on Meredith's tighter.
"I'll give her a clean death… easy… just like your dad. I promise…"
"Please… no"
Cristina's whimper echoed in the room and Derek swallowed.
"She won't even have the time to say goodbye to you. Do it now, Grey"
Cristina's eyes widened in terror.
"No!"
William laughed.
"It has been a losing game from the beginning, doc. Either you or her, it's simple"
"Shoot me"
"Derek…" Meredith was sobbing hard behind his back. The phone produced every kind of exhortation, exclamation, imprecation. But they were alone in this. Nobody could help. It was on them, it was on him.
He was trying to read Dunn's mind, words, behavior, his story in the late hours.
What did he want from him?
A light had turned on in Derek's brain minutes before, but he had ignored it. And he had more urgent stuff to think of now.
"Sorry but I chose her. Move doc"
What did he want?
Was he testing him?
Was this a bluff?
His head was spinning wildly, one wrong move… one wrong choice, Meredith would be gone.
"I'm counting down from ten now… Don't get me to shoot you too first … I wouldn't be that merciful and it would be useless. She's going to die anyway. Ten…"
What did he have to do?
"Nine"
This wasn't what he expected. He expected Dunn to rip him off… not this…
"Eight"
The light turned on again, brighter and clearer than ever.
"Seven"
Meredith was shaking like a leaf. She continued to whisper she loved him behind his back. He never turned around.
"Six"
The Chief too was yelling in the phone for him to stop. What was the meaning of this? Derek was sure it was not only about cruelty.
"Five"
He had to trust his instinct, he had never failed on Dunn.
"Four"
William wanted Meredith, badly. But it was not a normal feeling. It was a mixture of a serial killer's and a normal lover's wish. The murderer wanted to bring her with him, to hell or wherever he was going to go in five… four… Derek didn't know how many days. The normal lover wanted to prove her he was the best, wanted to get rid of the rival. It was a knock out competition.
"Three"
But he wouldn't make a step back. He wouldn't show pity. Derek had to bail, to go off the white horse. He closed his eyes at the mere thought. It was unbearable. As if he was wrong William would pull the trigger and Meredith would be dead. It was on him. This choice. The choice. Reason against instinct. Reason screamed not to budge, one millimeter, one inch. He would die right there. As this was his place, in front of a bullet for the love of his life. But instinct said different, it would be a useless sacrifice. Dunn wanted him to break down, wanted him to be a coward. He wanted to destroy the idea Meredith had of him, the idea Derek had of himself. He wanted to annihilate him, show he was nothing but an egoistic jerk. And this would save Meredith. He squeezed her hand to look for comfort. She didn't know what he was thinking. She continued to tell him the words he had never heard from her mouth in months… years… before. I love you. It tore his heart. He couldn't imagine what she would feel… he couldn't imagine what he would feel if he was wrong. But the light was still on and he had to act quickly.
"Two"
"I…" Derek closed his eyes and stammered on his words, he squeezed Meredith's hands several times. They were soft and warm. Cristina looked at him in shock. Dunn's face painted in an evil grin.
"You?"
He opened his eyes and a tear rolled down his cheek. Dunn laughed and Derek let go of Meredith's hands. She looked up disoriented, her eyes meeting his back.
"I'm… I'm sorry"
He took a look behind from over his shoulder and the look on Meredith's face killed him.
"Derek…"
There was so much disbelief and despair in her words that he wanted to crumble down and die right there. He turned around though and when their eyes met more tears spilled out.
"I can't do this…"
Cristina jumped on her feet but Dunn stopped her and shoved her to the ground.
"No! Sheperd! What the hell are you doing?"
He kept repeating himself that this was the right way… this was the right thing. He made some step back and Meredith looked at him like a lost puppy. He couldn't tell her to remember what he had said to her before. You need to trust me, Meredith… Trust me… always… and everything is going to be fine. She thought he had abandoned her, left her to die. He could see that. He closed his eyes, unable to move or doing anything, when Dunn closed the space separating him from Meredith and closed an arm around her neck. She screamed and tried to free herself but he tightened his grip. Derek hoped he had chosen right.
"Have you seen, dr. Grey? Men just promise and then leave you to die!"
Cristina stood up again and tried to charge Dunn but he shoved her away and she bumped into Derek. She used his body to steady herself and she sobbed seeing Meredith struggling with Dunn. He was dragging her across the room. To her surprise, Derek was holding her and she lost every form of coherence and rationality. She started to hit him wherever her hands could go, the sounds of Meredith whimpering filling her ears. She finally slapped his cheek violently and he didn't try to stop her, his face tilted to the side for the impact stinging for the blow, he looked drunk or catatonic… she couldn't tell.
"How could you do that to her, you bastard! She trusted you and you're here doing nothing!"
She tried to hit him again but this time he stopped her hands before they collided with his face. She looked up and saw he was staring at Meredith and Dunn.
Cristina followed his gaze too.
William was holding Meredith from her waist and was meddling with the door with his other hand. She hadn't realized though as she was kicking and elbowing him trying to get free.
He finally succeeded in removing the locks he had made himself and the door clicked open.
"I'll see you soon, dr. Grey"
He shoved her outside and closed the door immediately.
Cristina turned to look at Derek, some tear was still falling down his cheeks and he was breathing heavily, from her position she could imagine his heart beating wildly in his chest. His eyes were closed and he was clearly trying to catch his composure. Meredith was out. She was free. She was safe. And she started to suspect that the scene she had witnessed had been a strategy and not a moment of weakness.
Mark and Owen had both hands in their hair, Bailey was sobbing loudly and the Chief was measuring the room with furious steps. They heard noises. Of Meredith struggling with Dunn and then nothing. The cell was mute and even the radio had chosen the wrong moment to play tricks.
"Brig…"
Falks tried once again to establish a contact with his men downstairs. Nothing.
"Brig…"
"I'm here, sir"
"What the hell happened?"
"The door opened…"
"What?"
"We have a woman on the ground… It should be Grey I guess"
Richard hid his eyes. He tried to prepare for the worst.
"Can you see her?"
"She's right in front of me… She looks conf…"
The radio buzzed.
"What?"
"She is trying to stand up"
Richard looked to Falks.
"I ask you the permission to go there and pick her up, sir… to clear the field. Sir?"
"Positive, I want her here in three minutes, Brig"
Falks switched of the radio, his face was dripping sweat.
"One of your doctors is out"
Jermin and Brandon nodded.
"And Dunn will be furious"
William approached Derek who was still standing in the mid of the room.
"Sorry, doc. I guess it's gonna be you after all"
He pointed the gun to his chest and Derek looked up at him. Dunn was the image of satisfaction.
"I like to breathe fear… and you're a coward after all"
Derek wiped his own tears away.
"Do you think so?"
William's smile disappeared. There was actually no fear in Sheperd's eyes. He was supposed to be scared out of his mind now. He wasn't.
"Either I'm a coward or I do know you. Take your pick"
I hoped you liked the countdown...
Derek's thoughts in the mid gave rythm to this scene (not that it needed it...).
In connection to my request before this chapter, I want to point out that, as you may have noticed in these scenes, I'm not just talking about phisical violence here, but also psycological.
Well, for sure Dunn won't be happy after what happened but, as I said in the previous episode, he's still thinking if killing is better that destroying menthally so... I'm not so sure of what I will do (even if I have some idea about it).
See you soon, friends.
I'll start writing as soon as possible but, unlike other times, I have no ready chapter here so... you need to be patient this time.