A/N: I decided to do this one last chapter today, because then I'll officially be a quarter of the way finished. Yay!

Chapter 11.

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid! (Tara-speak to English Translation: I said stop flaming you preps! See if this chapter is stupid!) Ten bucks says it is.1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid (More translation: It deals with really serious issues! See for yourself if it's stupid) First, i'm sure those issues are serious, and second, if the rest of the fic is anything to go by, then it probably is stupid. brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way. And that didn't stop any of the characters in the past?

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. No! I love Linkin Park! Please don't tell me she's going to ruin it somehow! I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. You only almost did it? I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff Spikes? on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! Definition of masticate: to chew food. So, Lupin's munching on, what, popcorn? A candy bar? Pizza? What's so bad about that? They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! But you just said you got dressed. You even took, like, half a paragraph to describe it. ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. So Harry's a girl, now? I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!" No, he's the Hogwarts game keeper.

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!" So is half the people in this story.

"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly. Huh?

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!" Not that there's anything to see.

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. Or, in the case of normal human beings, when you don't eat or drink enough.

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook. What's a clook?

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. Not sure I wanna know what that sounds like.

"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

"Because I LOVE HER!" Now, where have we heard that before?