"The Truth Hurts"
Rating: K+
Thanks everyone for your great feedback on the last chapter! I'm glad to hear you all loved it! AuthorW once again thanks for all your help on this chapter!
Chapter Eleven
Joey sat there silently after Charlie's ultimatum...the silence between them becoming painfully obvious to Charlie. Looking away Charlie finally decided, "I guess I know how you feel about this." "What?" Joey suddenly said confused, "Sorry I'm just trying to let my head catch up with what I just heard before I respond." Is this really happening? Am I dreaming? This is everything I always knew I always wanted and now maybe it's really happening. And I have no idea how to respond. Charlie stared at her, "I know I probably came on too strong...but I can't keep lying to you...if you need some time..." "I don't need time Charlie but I..." Joey stuttered, then looking away, "I don't know if I can give you the answer you want." Charlie closed her eyes, as the reality of Joey's decision sunk in, "I'm sorry I should never have told you that." "Why not? It's nice to know how you really feel," Joey admitted as she looked back at Charlie, until Charlie returned her gaze. Charlie shook her head again, "I should've just kept my mouth shut...I shouldn't have told you...that way at least I could still have you...even in some small way. I'll never have that again."
"Were you really willing to do that Charlie? Continue to hide your feelings just so you could be with me in any small way?" Joey asked calmly. Charlie nodded, feeling several tears slide down her cheeks. Joey slid her hand against Charlie's cheek, then brought her lips together with Charlie's. Charlie whimpered in surprise as Joey pulled away. Joey shook her head lightly, whispering "I want the same thing." Charlie searched her eyes for the truth, "You want..." "I can't lie to you Charlie. I want the same thing you do, Charlie," Joey smiled, "I want to be with you too. I just..." "What is it?" Charlie asked sadly. "I'm just not sure about this. I want this as much as you do, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for it. I want to be able to trust you but a part of me thinks it might be too soon. I just don't want to screw this up again. This is too important to me. I can't leave this as 'nothing', I need to have you in my life. But I can't give you 'all' right now. I need time Charlie. I thought I was ready for this, I thought I knew exactly how I felt about you but now that we're here...all I can offer you is a chance to take things slow. To give us a chance. Will you wait for me?" Joey asked reluctantly.
Charlie finally smiled, "I'll wait for you. So how does this work? This whole taking it slow relationship...can I call it a relationship?" Joey giggled, wrapping her arm around Charlie's waist, and positioned her head against Charlie's shoulder. "I think I'd be okay with that. I like the sound of that – 'relationship.' Well I guess the whole 'friends who kiss' thing didn't work too well did it?" Charlie grinned, "Unless you count the fact it convinced me what I really want." "I'm glad then. I'm not sure how I want this to work. I mean not everyone will be happy about it, but it's not about them. I want to give this relationship a proper go...I'm just not ready to..." Joey trailed off. "You're not ready to be with me straight away. I understand and I really am okay with this. Take as long as you need. I've got you back that's the important part," Charlie kissed Joey on the forehead.
Charlie then continued, "Although I will admit it might be a little hard because it's almost as if we're taking this relationship backwards...in the sense that we've already being together and now we just get to kiss and make out until you're ready. I want this relationship to continue moving forwards, and if we have to go backwards to do just that I'm happy with that...and I'm gonna stop ranting before I lose my point which is that I'm okay with this." Joey looked up and stared into Charlie's eyes. She's so gorgeous when she's ranting. "So who's gonna tell Ruby? 'Cause whoever draws the short straw will never hear the end of it from her. Maybe I should've listened to her sooner," Joey realized. Charlie shifted uncomfortably, "I thought you didn't want to tell Ruby."
"Well yeah because that whole 'friends with slight benefits' wouldn't have been easy for her to understand. Now we're back together as a couple there's no reason why we shouldn't tell her. Or your Dad and Morag for example, they're your family Charlie and they've been completely supportive so far," Joey commented. Charlie looked down at the ground, "Joey I...I just don't think that I'm ready for all that. No one has to know, this is about us." Joey sat up away from Charlie's embrace, "Are you kidding me? Charlie weren't you the one offering me 'all' of a relationship with you? You said it yourself, we can't have it both ways. I know I said I wanted to take it slow but that doesn't mean I want to hide away again. I'm not some secret you can just pretend doesn't exist. And here I thought you'd been working on your trust issues and that you had changed." "Joey please just try to understand. I want to be with you, and I am ready for everything that comes with being with you but I'm just...I'm terrified that what happened last time could..." Charlie tried to explain but Joey pulled away from her and stood up. "Well why don't I save you the trouble and end this now so you can go screw Hugo or Angelo or whatever guy that makes you forget about me," Joey stated harshly.
Charlie looked up at her, tears in her eyes, "That was cruel. Why are you bringing that up again?" "Charlie you just said you're afraid of it happening again--" "No Joey that is not what I meant. Please if you trust one thing I say tonight...I will never ever hurt you like that again. I am not going to run off to anyone else. I know with my track record you shouldn't believe me, but you are so important to me Jo and I would never do a thing to ruin that again. I can promise you that. And if I do ever have any doubts at all, I'll talk to you about them. I'm just terrified that if we make this public, I'll end up losing you again. I can't go through that again," Charlie sobbed. Joey relented and sat back down against Charlie, "I believe you. But you need to believe that you're not going to lose me again. I'm sorry I shouldn't have said what I did before. I'm just a little confused about your actions. You say one thing Charlie, then mean another."
"I know. I'm confusing myself. Just trying to do the right thing for both of us. I don't want to mess this up again, and the only way I can see that happening is by keeping you all to myself. Pretty selfish isn't it?" Charlie realized. "It's not selfish Charlie. It hurts me a little that you're not quite as ready for this as you keep claiming but if you're prepared to take this relationship slow for me...I'll give you some time to sort out how you really feel about being with me. As long as you're sure this is what you want," Joey reassured her. Charlie smiled, "More than anything. I just need a little time. Give me a few days then I'll tell my family about us. I don't want to make you feel hurt or guilty but I do feel bad for Angelo. He loved me, he really did, I'm not sure how he'll react to us getting back together so quickly. I know I don't have any feelings for the guy but I do have to work with him, as of next week when I go back on desk duty, and I need to work out how I plan to tell him about us."
"Not many people would be respectful for their ex Charlie. I'm glad you're not like that. I'll give you a few days. It's just going to be hard...you know to keep my lips away from yours, but since you don't want anyone finding out...we probably shouldn't do that," Joey teased. Charlie pouted, "Well when you put it like that maybe I should just give up now and let people find out on their own. But we're alone now, so we could--" Charlie was cut off by Joey's lips against hers. They sat together like that for several minutes, rediscovering each other's mouths. Out of breath, Joey pulled away slightly, the touch of Charlie's lips still lingering on her own. "Okay I admit it I was lying...you're a pretty darn good kisser."
"Told you," Charlie grinned, "You know I wish you could stay the night but I gotta share a room with Ruby while Dad and Morag are here...and you're not ready for that because we're taking it slow. Slow...I can do slow." "Right yes we are, got caught up in that kiss didn't you?" Joey smirked. "Little bit," Charlie blushed. Joey pushed some strands of Charlie's hair behind her ear, "Do you wanta go for a walk? Head down to the beach for a while, and just talk some more?" "Will making out be any part of that plan?" Charlie teased. "It might," Joey confessed. "That sounds great. I'll go get my phone and keys," Charlie said as she stood up, but leaned back down for a brief kiss. "Sure," Joey replied, staring after her retreating figure.
Charlie walked into the living room to find Morag sitting quietly on the lounge. "Charlie," she simply stated. "I don't want to hear it. Joey and I are going for a walk to talk about things," she informed her. "I wasn't gonna say a word about Joey," Morag remarked. "Really? Because I saw the look on your face when she showed up," Charlie noticed. "I did not have a look on--" Morag tried to claim. "No you did. I know that you were surprised by our relationship and maybe you're not completely okay with it than you first thought or that she's not the right person for me. But Joey's not going anywhere," Charlie said firmly. "Charlie it has nothing to do with Joey as a person. I just don't think you're in any kind of place right now to be getting back into a relationship. You just broke it off with Angelo and you're going through a tough time right now. I'm not sure that this is the right time for you. You'll only end up hurting yourself or worse...Joey," Morag explained.
"That's not going to happen. I won't allow it. Look this has made me realize that maybe having you and Dad stay here isn't such a good idea," Charlie decided. "Mmm huh. And why is that?" Morag questioned accusingly. "There's a lot going on here and I don't want to see Dad upset," Charlie reasoned. "You're father's fine. In fact he's better than he has been in a long while," Morag countered. "Exactly which is why we don't want to jeopardise that," Charlie clarified. "Charlie the time your father spends with his daughters are very important for him and I am not gonna cut that short for the world. And if you're worried about Joey, don't be, doesn't bother me," Morag told her. "Morag, don't pretend." "I'm not pretending. And in the light of recent revelations...um hardly seems important does it? You know you must have gone through hell to lose a baby at such a young age. Charlie all Ross and I want is for you to be happy and if it means Joey in your life than who are we to object?" Morag settled. "So you're staying?" Charlie replied. "Yes we are," Morag told her. Charlie sighed before grabbing her handbag from her room, then taking off back outside to meet Joey.
A few days later, Charlie walked into the kitchen to find her family sitting around the table eating breakfast. "Ah looking very smart for your first day back on the job Senior," Ross said proudly as he stood up and gave Charlie a hug. "Thanks Dad," Charlie replied quietly. "Now are you sure I can't interest you in some toast?" Morag asked politely. "I'm okay. See you guys later," Charlie said as she walked out the door. "Charlie," Ruby called her back into the kitchen, "Belle's passing has made me want to go and visit my little nephew's grave." "I don't want to talk about this Ruby," Charlie insisted sadly. "Ruby I'm sure Charlie has her reasons as to why she doesn't want to discuss it and I think that we should respect that," Morag stuck up for Charlie. "Sorry," Ruby apologised softly.
Charlie walked into the Diner, glad to be on her lunch break and smiled when she located Joey sitting at one of the tables. "Hey you," she greeted calmly, as she sat down opposite Joey, "How are you?" Joey looked up from the magazine she was reading, "Not great. I've missed you the last few days." "Hey girls, ready to order?" Leah interrupted. Charlie took her attention away from Joey long enough to order them some coffees and sandwiches. Turning back to Joey once Leah had left, Charlie blushed, "I missed you too. How's Aden doing?" Joey sighed, "Not great. I've been spending most of the time with him, just sitting with him. He's barely slept since Belle died. He's not really coping with it at all. In a way, he was lucky, he got a chance to say goodbye. I just don't know if he's ever gonna get over this." "I'm sorry. I'm glad he has someone like you to support him. I feel a little guilty because I'm jealous that he's taken you away from me," Charlie admitted. "I know, I wished you could've been there with me. But I'm not sure I would've been able to keep my hands off you and I don't think Aden would have been very understanding about that no matter how happy he'll be when he finds out we're back together," Joey giggled. Charlie blushed, "Probably a good thing I wasn't there."
"So how was your first day back at work? Everyone miss you?" Joey asked. "I guess so. It was a little weird especially bumping into Angelo but he pretty much bailed the moment I got there so wasn't as bad as it could've been. I dunno, just wasn't an exciting day...guess been stuck on desk duty does that to you," Charlie complained. "Well as much as you hate it, I kinda like you been on desk duty. Means you'll come home safely each night and I don't have to worry," Joey admitted. Charlie smiled, "I'm good at my job, and don't worry I won't get hurt...especially if I get to look forward to coming home to you every night...in the near future I mean when we..." Joey grinned, then reminded her lightly "Says the girl that walked onto the middle of the road and got hit by a car." Charlie rolled her eyes, "Touché." "Hey are you okay? You seem a little..." Joey tried to tell her.
Charlie looked up into her eyes, "I'm sure Dad said something to Morag." "Without telling you?" Joey asked knowing what Charlie was referring to. "He's unwell, he's unpredictable, you know that," Charlie pointed out. "So what exactly did Morag say?" Joey wanted to clarify. "She told Ruby that I have my reasons for not wanting to talk about the baby," Charlie explained. "That's it?" Joey eyed her doubtfully. "Hey I'm not imagining this. She's been protective of me ever since last week," Charlie replied. "Look maybe you're misreading it. Maybe she feels sorry because she was the one that was pushing for this to all come out in the open in the first place. Maybe it's just a genuine caring response. You told her you've been through this traumatic experience. Your baby had died," Joey responded. "No there's more to it than that," Charlie insisted. Joey tried to calm her, "Maybe your Dad did let something slip, at least we know that Morag is trustworthy and discreet."
"No I can't have her knowing. Joey no I can't," Charlie yelled. "Charlie I don't quite understand why you're so upset. Morag's family, why do you have such an issue with her finding out the baby didn't die, you gave it up for adoption? She doesn't need to know anything about how the baby was conceived," Joey stated confused. Charlie swallowed hard unable to respond, because she didn't want to lie again. Yeah and silently lying is so much better. Joey exhaled, "You let me know and it's good that you did." "Yeah because I want to share my life with you and I felt that you needed to know about that part of me but I can't have it getting out to anyone else okay. I can't go through with that," Charlie said finally. Joey smiled shyly, "You want to share your life with me?" Charlie shook her head, silently cursing herself, "Yeah I kinda do. I'm sorry was that a bit too much?" Joey shrugged, "Not at all. It sounded nice Charlie, made me realize I want my life to be with you...no matter what." Caught up in the moment, Joey slipped her hand on top of Charlie's hand, taking it gently in her own.
Leah excited the kitchen, grabbed the coffees from the counter, but stopped short when she noticed the girls were holding hands in the middle of the Diner. Aha I knew it! I knew they were back together! It's about damn time! Before Leah could make another move, Charlie suddenly pulled her hand away from Joey's, leaving a very hurt expression on Joey's face. Oh c'mon Charlie Leah groaned. Joey looked away from Charlie, and placed her hand on her lap under the table. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that. We're not together like that yet." Charlie closed her eyes, praying she hadn't stuffed things up again. When she opened them again, Leah was next to them, placing their orders on the table in front of them. Charlie was about to thank Leah as she placed the last coffee in front of her, but stopped when Leah turned to her, complete and utter disappointment written on her face. Not saying a word, Leah left the two girls to their meals.
Well I'm guessing I either forgot to pay the rent or she saw me pull away from Joey again. God she looked so frustrated with me! Why the hell did I do that? What the hell am I so afraid of? If Leah's so understanding, why can't everyone else be? For Christ's sake Charlie you're not even giving the people around you a chance to be understanding. Charlie took a sip of her coffee, putting it back down on the table, she placed her hand out on the table. Holding it out so Joey could take her hand again. "Don't be sorry Joey. I'm the one who should be. I didn't realize how much of an idiot I've been 'til just now." Joey hesitated but placed her hand on top of Charlie's outstretched hand. Charlie smiled happily as she tangled her fingers with Joey's, bringing their hands to rest on the middle of the table. Together. For anyone to see.
Joey grinned finally. "You're right, it doesn't matter what people think. I really am okay with this. I'll tell my family later today. I want to be with you and I have no problems proving it to anyone," Charlie declared. "That's quite the turn around. What made you change your mind?" "You did...and also Leah. She just about gave me a death look when she placed my lunch down. Guessing she saw what I did," Charlie said embarrassed. "I'm glad you finally took notice that people are okay with this," Joey smiled, "Oh and Charlie?" "Mmm," was all Charlie could manage. Joey looked down at their hands timidly, "Can I have my hand back? I don't want to look like a complete fool with you and eat this sandwich one-handed in front of everyone." Charlie beamed, "Well if I don't let you have your hand back...we can look like fools together." Joey rolled her eyes, "Good thing you're a cute fool."
Leah stood at the counter grinning at the two girls seated in front of her. "What are you smiling about pet?" Colleen asked as she came in from the kitchen "Two people who are happy and in love, and deserve it," Leah replied lightly. Colleen noticed what Leah was referring to, "Oh. Do you think we should allow them to--" "Don't," Leah warned calmly, "They're happy. I'm not going to ruin that for them." "I was only gonna ask if you should go over and tell them to eat their meals properly pet so you don't have to clean up the mess they're making with their sandwiches. Surely they can stop holding hands for a few minutes to finish their meals," Colleen huffed back into the kitchen. Leah shook her head, then continued about her job, keeping a close eye on the happy couple.