Hey guys! I feel like I apologize in every update. This is an apology for all past and future updates that end up taking awhile. I've got a lot going on and schools about to start up so that won't help. I will never take longer than two weeks to update, I promise! I know that's a long time but it could be worse. Thanks for all the love and support. I've had gotten a lot of kind words over this story and it just warms my heart that you guys are really enjoying it. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. As always please Review/Favorite/Follow! Thanks again, and enjoy!
The ride home was quiet, neither of them really needing to talk. They were almost back as the sun started to set. Different shades of pink and orange swirled together in the evening sky. It was the small stuff like a sunset that made life a little easier.
They arrived back at their little slice of heaven. Before they were even off the bike everyone surrounded them with warm welcomes and soft smiles. Carol told them all about the cabin and everything they found inside. Daryl had just finished unpacking the bike when he first decided to speak, "I'll take watch tonight." Was all he said, but Rick tried to fight him.
"You went on a run today. You should rest up." Daryl let out a snort, "I'll sleep when I'm dead. Besides, it's been awhile since my last shift so no worries."
Rick just shrugged, there was no point in fighting him. "Alright, but if you yawn even once you come and get me ya hear?" He gave Rick a nod and then headed inside for something to eat before watch.
Carol was inside cooking something when Daryl made his way through the door.
"Thought you might be hungry" and she handed him a bowl of food. Looking down at the contents he could tell it was the same as always. Some canned veggies with a small portion of whatever kill they had left. It wasn't gourmet by any means, but it filled their bellies so they didn't really complain. Picking up a fork he started eating. A quick "thank you" was mumbled in between bites. She just smiled at him as they continued to eat their meal in silence.
His bowl was empty which meant it was time for him to go out on watch.
"Thanks again for the food." Daryl said as he got up to leave.
Carol frowned. "Where are you going?" she had thought he was in for the night. "Ain't going nowhere, just got watch tonight."
"Oh. Well hold on I'll go with you." She watched as panic filled his face. "No." he started to stutter. "I-I-I mean you should get some rest. It would make me feel better."
Carol didn't understand what was up with him, but he was right about her needing some rest. She was exhausted from their run today and could use some sleep.
"Fine if that's what you want." Trying to make it seem as she was really upset. Moving infront of her, he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks." And he smiled down at her. Carol could only nod. She was a little shocked from him initiating any kind of physical interaction.
Realizing that she was surprised by his boldness Daryl sent her a smirk.
"Goodnight Carol." Letting her name roll of his tongue. And before she could even respond he was out the door.
Carol just couldn't sleep. She had tossed and turned for good few hours now. There just was chance of her falling asleep. All she could think about were these last few days. It had been obvious to her that Daryl was growing closer. Not that they weren't close before, but there was something different about it now. A certain look in his eye that made it seem so strange. It almost gave her some kind of rush. The mystery of it all was keeping her on edge. She wanted to truly know what was going on, but she almost didn't so she could keep the curiosity alive. They were doing the dance they had been doing for awhile now, but it seemed as though Daryl was starting to take the lead. Finally giving up on going to sleep, Carol made her way out on watch to go visit her fellow dance partner.
Daryl closed his eyes as he felt the familiar smoke fill his lungs. How he had missed that feeling. He let the smoke gather in his lungs a moment longer, before letting it all out in one deep exhale.
Oh how he had missed his cigarettes.
They were his own simple pleasure back in his old life. Something he had picked up as a teen to help deal with the stress of his dad and his beatings. From that point on he had always been in the dark about his smoking. The only thing he wanted in common with his father was a last name, so he wasn't about to let others know that he had picked up the same filthy habit his old man had. Everyone would have just thought he was going down the same path. So smoking was his dirty little secret. The only person to know about it was Merle, but he was gone now.
He didn't know why, but smoking to him always made him feel that he was less of value. That he was just another deadbeat loser who was slowly putting himself into a grave. Daryl knew that people thought lowly of those who smoked. Adding the fact that his dad was the reason to start all of it, just made him hate it even more.
Daryl watched as the last of the ashes fell to the ground. Throwing down the cigarette he put it out with his shoe, and then grabbed another one from the pack. Lighting it, and watching as the end started to amber, he took a drag.
Quitting had been an option since the day he first picked up a cigarette. He had tried and tried again. Each time he'd be able to last a little longer than the last, but it seemed as though life had other plans. Life would throw him a curveball and the stress would do him in. He hated the feeling of failure, but the feeling of having his first cigarette each time was something he really enjoyed.
His second cigarette came to an end, and Daryl decided to have just one more. There was a lot more on his plate than usual, and it wasn't like he came across these every day. How he had gotten so lucky that day still surprised him. Carol had been outside loading the bike when he went to sweep the cabin one more time. They had seemed too had found everything until he made his way to the bedroom. Normally he wasn't one for snooping through peoples things, but he had to check just in case. There had been nothing of interest until he went to check the nightstand. Sitting in the top right corner of the drawer was a unopened box of cigarettes, and a lighter. It had been the same spot his dad would keep his cigarettes.
Daryl suddenly didn't feel as bad having Carol put down the bastards sorry ass. Snatching the contents he made his way out of the house, not caring anymore if they left something behind. He had shoved the two items into his pocket as he made his way towards the bike. Carol couldn't know. He didn't want her knowing he had anything in common with the likes of Ed. And honestly, he just didn't want her looking down on him because of his habit.
Taking the final drag from his cigarette he put it out on the ground. Staring at the pack Daryl sighed, "Ah fuck it" he thought, and lit up his fourth cigarette.
Carol made her way through the cabin. It to have been at least two in the morning by how pitch black it was. All she had was a small light from a candle to help her avoid any objects that could get in her way. Finally she was at the door to get outside. Opening it the cool night air hit her instantly, but then something else did. Something that stopped her dead in her tracks.
Daryl had completely froze when he heard the door open. He was currently smoking his fifth cigarette when the door came swinging open. He didn't turn around. He just stood there frozen in place.
"Daryl?" her voice shook. Why? It could have been anyone. Out of all the odds though, it just had to be her that caught him. He let out a heavy sigh. "Hey." This wasn't going to end well.
"I… I didn't know you smoked." She was still overcoming the shock. The only person she'd ever know to smoke was Ed. He'd smoke and drink till he was damn out of his mind, and then take out all his frustrations on her. There was permanent stench of cigarette and alcohol on him. It always made her stomach turn. This though, seeing Daryl smoking, breathing in the familiar scent, all the memories came rushing back to her.
Daryl quickly put out the cigarette. "Sorry. I, uh." The nerves were getting to him. She wasn't suppose to know about this. "I didn't mean for you to find out." He murmured. "Bad habit I picked up."
Carol was trying to process everything.
This wasn't Ed. This was Daryl who she knew was nothing like Ed. In the two years they had known each other this was the first time she had ever seen him smoke. Besides, to anyone else this new found information wouldn't really both them. She needed to get a hold of herself. This was Daryl. Someone she cared greatly for. There was no reason to let a bad past experience affect the way she looked towards him. It was just another habit in his life. They all had them. One of his was to chew on his thumb nail when he got nervous. This was Daryl, and she knew there was always a reason behind every habit.
Recollecting herself she Carol made her way over to the obviously very embarrassed, and worried, redneck. His gaze was set on the ground refusing to look up at her. "Daryl, it's alright. I was just surprised. Really I'm ok." She wanted him to know it was truly okay. That he didn't need to worry anymore. Sure it would take time to adjust, but eventually she would be fine.
He still didn't look at her. Moving in front of him she used her hand to tilt his chin up, so he would look her in the eye. "It's ok." Is all she said, and then wrapped her arms around his waist.
It took him a moment to respond, but eventually he returned the hug. After a moment she took a step back to smile at him, and he turned one of his own.
"Whatcha doin out here anyways?" Daryl said as they returned to watch. Carol half heartily laughed "Couldn't sleep for shit." She felt lighter at the moment. A little more free spirited than normal. "What are you doin smoking out here when you suppose to be on watch? She retorted. "Hey! I said it was a bad habit!"he tried to sound offended, but failed as they both started to laugh. "Seriously though, where did you even find those?" Carol spoke in-between laughs.
Daryl was just smiling at this point. "Back at the cabin today. You were packing up the bike when I found them in the bedroom. That's what you saw me shove into my pockets."
"Ah, that makes sense." Carol was looking out into the woods with a smile a mile long still stuck on her face. "Alright Dixon, if it's such a bad habit why did you pick it up in the first place?"
You could have physically felt the mood change. Daryl's face grew dark with emotion as Carol realized her mistake. "I'm sorry. You don't need to tell me. I shouldn't have brought it up. Just forget I asked."
"No." he said dryly. Taking a deep breath he knew that he needed to explain to her why he had any common traits with her bastard of a husband.
"My pa wasn't the greatest of dads. He really… stressed me out. Was a crazy son of a bitch. Anyways, when I was sixteen I found myself needing a stress reliever more than ever. Now I had seen how drugs went thanks to Merle, so I knew I was staying the hell away from that. I had heard people smoked when they were stressed. Now cigarettes weren't exactly foreign in the Dixon household, so I knew they be easier to get away with if I got caught with them. So I gave them a try, and sadly they worked. Helped me from going crazy till I finally moved my ass out of the house. After that I tried quitting, but always seemed to have something happen where I needed them. Eventually I gave up on trying to quit and decided I'd only have them when I needed them."
That was all he was saying on the matter. Daryl wasn't ready to explain how his father stressed him out. There was enough raw emotion in the last five minutes to last him a life time. Not a chance would he be going into any great detail about his past right now.
Carol pondered what he told her for a moment. "That seems pretty logical. Why did you get nervous when I saw you though?"
"Shit." Daryl thought.
"Cause I'm embarrassed." He mumbled.
Now she was confused. "Why? I didn't think Dixons got embarrassed."
Daryl was starting to tense up. He knew that he had to make this short and simple for right now.
"Just didn't want people thinkin I was some bad person because I was like all the other Dixons and smoked."
That answer had surprised her."Were people really like that?" she wondered.
"Well you don't need to be embarrassed around me. Don't worry though, you're secret is safe with me." And she sent him another one her smiles. The one that told him that she truly did accept him.
Sending her a half smile as his way of saying thanks they then fell into a comfortable silence.
Some time had passed before Carol spoke up again, "Daryl?"
"Mhm?"
"Can I have a cigarette?"
Daryl looked at her in genuine shock. "Ya serious?
Carol shook her head. "You said they help relieve stress, and lately I could really use that."
He just shrugged. "Alright, but only if I get to have one with ya." Sending her a smirk.
She just sent one back, "Deal."
Pulling two cigarettes from the pack he lit hers first, and then his own. Carol had struggled at first, coughing quite a bit, but eventually she got the hang out it.
"Don't go through it too fast, I can just go out and buy more ya know." Daryl said before taking another drag. Carol just laughed, "Whatever you say."
And that's how they spent the rest of their night. They sat on watch and made small talk from time the time, but mainly just enjoying the others company. The two of them smoked their cigarettes together, eventually finishing off the pack.
Comments? Questions? Concerns? Please let me know! I encourage all input. This idea came to me awhile back, and I was waiting for the right moment to write it. Hope you all liked it, and thanks again for reading! I love you all!
~Fictionaddict