Sephiroth entered the lab slowly, carefully banishing optimistic thoughts as they arose. The email from Tessa said nothing more than requesting that he meet with her, but he knew what for. Three days had elapsed, enough time to do the sequence and analysis on his genetic future. Tessa had an office now with big glass windows looking out into the lab, which would make it easy to monitor things, but she wouldn't be able to nap in there. Or chew out a staff member. He'd remind her later to get some blinds.
She motioned Sephiroth towards one of the chairs. She came around her desk and sat in the other across from him, a file on her knees.
"I have some good news, and some challenging news," she said. "We'll start with the good news, because it's simple. You should have no problem combining the genetic code in your sperm with any female."
"And the challenging news?"
"Those unusual genes you have, the ones I can't determine the source of? They're highly dominant. One of them allows you to uptake mako at your accelerated rate from the environment. The fetus would do this as well, and it would have to flow through the mother. She would get poisoned by the mako flow during the gestation period unless she was pre-stabilized at a high level."
"How high?"
"At least 200."
"200 is higher than some of my Soldiers!"
"I know it's kind of a barrier, but at least it's not impossible. There may be other ways to handle this mako load, there may be temporary methods to bring the mother's level up, and although I hate to say it I think Hojo may have perfected a method of tube gestation..."
"No tubes!"
"Ok, ok. Please Sephiroth, I just don't want you to get too discouraged, we haven't looked at all the options yet."
He nodded, rubbing his forehead between his eyes. Tessa looked at him sadly.
"I need to tell you something else as well."
He looked up, his face a stony mask. "Go ahead."
"The sample you gave me, is it always that color?"
"What color should it be?"
"Whitish."
"It's green. It's always green."
"OK. You're ejaculating some mako in there. I don't have similar cases to compare with because I think all of your Soldiers shoot white. The level in your semen suggests you might impact a partner if they were not robust against exposure. And the mako will flow right through latex. It should be no problem on an occasional basis, but if you've got regular partner who is not already tested to handle mako exposure..."
"No." He stopped her. "There's nobody," and there never will be he thought.
"Thank-you doctor," he said, and without another word strode from the lab.
Tessa sat staring at the folder in her lap for a long time, frowning, brooding.
"You know if you like him you should just tell him instead of sending him out of here in a huff."
Tessa blinked hard before looking up. "Thank-you, Glenn, for your always sophisticated social analysis."
"Hey, it's part of my function here." Glenn the intern was in her doorway, leaning against the frame. In another month he'd have his time in and get his certificate, and he'd be a full fledged researcher at ShinRa or wherever he chose to go. Tessa hoped he'd stay on, because despite the fact that he was a smart aleck she would be hard pressed to run the lab without him.
"Seriously Tess, he's been down a lot. Just to see you I think."
"Just friends, Glenn."
Glenn gave her a look to let her know he wasn't convinced.
"So what'd you do, give him some bad news? Is he alright?"
"Yes and yes. He's alright. Just disappointed I think. And it's a confidential matter."
"Oh yeah, I know everything's confidential for that one. Every other Soldier gets scrutinized by the whole lab, but Sephiroth gets special treatment."
"Well he is special. Don't you think he's special?"
"I know you do."
She smiled at him.
"Hey, what do you say to ice cream?" he asked, "I got a coupon for the place on the corner just burning a hole in my pocket."
ccccccccccccccccccccccccccc
Sephiroth tried to push the conversation with Tessa from his mind but it refused to budge. His offspring needing ridiculous amounts of mako in the mother. Himself a "hazard" to a lover. Maybe a woman like Tessa might love him, but then what? Offer her a life with a monster whose seed and very fluid would put her in danger?
Mental pain boiled inside of him like hot tar, and he was sure it was showing on his face. That's all he needed, other people looking at him and viewing his private hell. He pushed it away. All away, down where it came from, down with all the other memories of abuse and torment. Down with the memories of all the times he reached for love with the desperation of a child and got injury and pain instead.
Eventually he found himself at the training hall. Yes, this is where he needed to be. Group drill was just starting.
"Gear up, full contact bokuto today!" Sephiroth barked as he strode in.
The Soldiers in group drill had been setting up for grappling and didn't see Sephiroth as he walked in, and several of them jerked at the strained, feral sound of his voice. Zack whipped around quickly and stared at his commander. It had been a long time since he'd heard him like that, and he saw what he hoped to not. Sephiroth's face was completely void of emotion. Not the flat look of a person in full control of their emotions, but truly emotionless, the inhuman visage of one who is not only emotionally vacant but who also might never have had a feeling of any kind in their life. He heard several of the men draw in their breaths sharply at the sight of him. It was like suddenly looking close up into a tornado, terrifying in the purity of its impartial destruction.
"You heard the General, MOVE!" Zack yelled. Damn, this was going to hurt.
Sephiroth had picked up the six-foot long wooden bokken that simulated his normal weapon in weight and length, but he hadn't bothered with body armor- no shoulder guards, no vambraces, no thigh plates... another bad sign. He had his full leathers on and looked like he was planning to wear his battle coat for the exercise. He simply stood without sign of impatience or anticipation while waiting for the men to ready themselves.
Zack could feel the collective apprehension as he slapped on his own armor; they weren't scheduled for full contact until next week. He hoped none of the men had been fool enough to arrive today hung over. He retrieved his own custom wooden weapon, the same size and weight of his usual Buster sword. Practice with the wooden swords kept them from killing one another, but not from breaking bones and knocking out teeth. Full contact drill was a rough activity that normally required a rest day after, and that was without Sephiroth showing up in some sort of mood.
"What's he got up his butt today? I haven't seen him like this in a long time." Marcus, the other First Class trainer, had come up behind Zack to pull his own Bokken from the rack. They peered at Sephiroth, a stony pillar waiting in the center of the room, both remembering how it had been when they were coming up through the ranks. Mostly it had hurt.
Zack stepped up to Sephiroth, hoping to be the one to take this edge off him, if he could. But it wasn't to be.
"Give me your three best, not you, no instructors. Not yet." Zack shook his head to Marcus, who was approaching with the same idea that Zack had.
The men were all looking forward eagerly. Normally the General requested the three weakest for three-on-one work, and there was quite an argument as to whether he did this because the weakest needed the most work or because the three-on-one stretched the General's ability too far for him to take on the better players three at a time. Zack had told them which it was, but he knew they weren't entirely convinced. His stronger fighters were in a constant state of annoyance over never being selected for this drill. Well they were about to find out first hand.
"Alars, Britton, and..." He thought. The man was relatively new but hot with his swordplay lately. "Jensen."
All three leapt forward and took positions surrounding Sephiroth. They were eager, a little confused by the demeanor of their general but in the whole not understanding what his look meant. Zack understood, and it broke his heart a little. He thought they had moved beyond this cold cruelty and was sorry to see it back. At least in the training hall. He knew it was part of Sephiroth and would probably always express itself in the field. But something had happened since he left the General this morning and there was no time to ferret it out now.
"No timer," Sephiroth said. Zack sighed. So he was just going to work them until he had all three down.
Zack paired off the remainders. But the others didn't even start their matches; the whole floor was immediately mesmerized watching the three-on-one with the General. Sephiroth hadn't followed his habit of waiting defensively. That was only a training hall habit after all. His true nature was offensive, and he had taken after his first man and struck him on the ear, sliding past him before any of his opponents had swung a single stroke. That was Alars, and blood ran down the man's neck in a small stream from where the cartilage had split in two like the skin on a ripe fruit. Now Sephiroth was on the outside of their circle, trading blows with Alars and catching him again on the back of his knee with an sickening crack before the other two could join. Both their strokes missed as Sephiroth took to the air, swinging, blocking and still striking on target. Zack was pleased to see they all three jumped also to alleviate the temporary height advantage, but Sephiroth had a vertical jump and hang time none of them could match. In fact if they let him near a wall where he could work with the rebound it would be all over, but they at least seemed to have the sense to keep him in the middle of the room.
The action was so blazing fast Zack could hardly follow it, but it looked to him that Sephiroth hadn't been hit yet. Every forth or fifth attack of the six foot bokken was finding an unarmored mark, but at least the attackers weren't buckling under the abuse. All three were a blur of blazing green eyed, gritted determination. If they hadn't understood earlier, they understood now. Britton spun, successfully avoiding the General's stroke, but it brought him in too close. Before he could even see his target Sephiroth's elbow connected with his mouth, sending a spray of blood a as the man's head snapped back. There was a small delicate clatter as a few teeth landed somewhere on the floor. Britton himself landed at Zack's feet.
"I recommend you stay down," Zack said.
"No fugging vway," Britton managed to slur out of his damaged mouth. He jumped back into the fray but his glory was short lived; the blood running down his throat interfered with his breathing, and the hesitation it leant him opened him to a bokken hit to the side, then Sephiroth popped into the air and laid one booted foot onto the side of his head.
Zack motioned for some of the spectators to pull Britton's limp body out of the way.
One down, Zack thought.
The end didn't take long after that. Jensen, who hadn't seen any significant field action, was momentarily distracted by his teammate's demise and glanced at his crumpled form on the floor. Zack heard a strangled "No!" from behind him where Marcus was standing. They both knew well the rule, never look at your fallen comrades while in the heat of the fight. Jensen didn't immediately pay for his error, but Alars, without help distracting the General, took three unanswered blows followed by a stab of the wooden sword's hilt to his gut. It went in so deep Zack thought for a moment it might puncture him and come out the other side. Alars fell to the floor, weakly coughing a crimson spray. Zack grabbed his collar and dragged him off to the side before he could do some fool thing like get up again. Jensen was now alone with Sephiroth. He was good, fast, but getting beaten backwards. He made a swing at Sephiroth's head that Zack thought would connect, but Sephiroth dropped faster than what should have been gravitationally possible and swept the younger man's feet out from under him. Then he was over him, bokken point down on top of the man's throat.
Sweet Shiva, Zack thought, he's going to kill him.
"Jensen, yield!" he yelled.
Either because he heard the desperation in Zack's voice, or perhaps out of some survival instinct, Jensen let his weapon fall and lay still. Zack held his breath until he saw Sephiroth slowly withdraw. He stepped callously over Jensen's form to a clear spot on the floor, the men backing away from him as he passed. He looked at Zack, the cold passionless gaze still intact.
"Now," he said.
Zack understood him and nodded to Marcus. They took ready stances on either side of him, both men deadly serious. Marcus was good, almost as good as Zack. And although Sephiroth looked completely fresh Zack suspected he was tired. He just didn't pant like other men, and he never sweat. He apparently didn't need to. During all their time fighting together Zack had felt the man's skin blazing hot or deathly cold and neither seemed to affect him. But Sephiroth did tire, that he knew.
"This won't go as easy for you, Seph," Zack said, his anger and aggression now lit and thinly veiled.
"Give me your worst," Sephiroth replied, not looking directly at either of them. He was defocused at a point between them, keeping them both in his peripheral. All three men waited, tensing for the first move. Sephiroth made it, a vertical jump straight out between them. They jumped almost instantly to match, but he still had the height on them and had chosen his direction towards Zack. They crossed blows with the wooden blades and Sephiroth's foot swung at Zack's head. Zack managed to jerk in midair, rolling off most of the blow and probably saving himself from a knockout. But he couldn't land the move, and he hit the floor backside down with a thump that echoed through the large hall. Part of his mind registered that was going to hurt tomorrow, but for the moment he felt no pain, only the electric jerk of his reflexes and the stinging, enraging burn of mako. He jumped back up and joined Marcus, who was furiously engaged with Sephiroth. The General worked to maneuver his attackers to be in each other's way, but Zack and Marcus had trained for many years together, and they were better at getting their target sandwiched between them than the previous three had been. Sephiroth jumped free again to get out from between them, and this time Zack noticed that when he and Marcus came up to meet him that their level was now the same. The General was tiring. Zack took two rapid swings in the air while the Sephiroth was forced to defend against both him Marcus. The second hit home and glanced off Sephiroth's temple, breaking the skin. They landed and eyed one another, looking for the advantage. In the lull Zack made a mental note that the previous group did not do this, did not take time to think. Instead they had forced an unnatural frenzied cadence to their fight. He would work on that later.
He and Marcus edged farther away from one another to better flank Sephiroth. Marcus would have noticed the General's fatigue as well. Sephiroth probably wouldn't jump this time. He caught Marcus's eye and knew what he was thinking. They would feint together, and whichever Sephiroth went for would retreat and draw him while the other came on. It was unfortunate that Sephiroth himself had trained them in this maneuver, but it was a hard one for anyone to deal with and worth a try. They feinted and Sephiroth went for Marcus. A mistake, Zack thought, to choose the weaker, but as Zack came on he realized Sephiroth hadn't actually taken the bait, he parried Zack's stroke and moved inside and back fisted him across the jaw with a blow that nearly sent him sprawling and split his lip.
Marcus was on him in an instant, catching Sephiroth in the ribs but getting his nose broke in the process. Now all three were bleeding and Zack launched in with the same forced frenzy he would have liked to correct in his underlings. He knew it was wrong, it was the very thing Sephiroth was best with; the faster you went the more he sped up. He was only vaguely aware of landing some shots, receiving some more, then something solid hit him in the ribs. He heard them crack and went down, panting in a heap. He couldn't see Marcus anywhere; he must have been downed already. Sephiroth was standing over him, bloodied and eyes blazing.
"Yield," Zack croaked, "I yield." He hated doing it, but he had yielded so many times over the years to this man, and supposed he would many times more. To this one and no other.
Sephiroth lowered his weapon, and then dropped it clattering to the floor. His eyes finally took on a cast of feeling, but Zack was damned if he could identify it. Not that he had much chance to contemplate the matter. Sephiroth disappeared from his view as he walked slowly and wordlessly out of the hall.
Zack tried to push himself up but so many of his body parts seemed on fire. Particularly his ribs. Then he heard an unlikely sound: laughter. It was Marcus, maybe 15 feet away from him, also a bloody mess and trying to get up.
"Hey Zack," he said, "Was that just like old times or what?"
Zack couldn't help but laugh, even though his ribs punished him dearly for it.
"Ow, ow, ow," he looked around at his dazed troops. "Well what are you standing there for, somebody get some materia!"
"Lazy buggers, we should thrash them," the pathetic looking Marcus said, sending Zack into another fit of painful laughter. As if they could thrash anything in their state.
Zack looked around and smiled, all his anger spent, the worry over his commander pushed aside for the moment. The other three victims were already on their feet, albeit unsteady, and he would be feeling better soon. Broken ribs, damn, they would take awhile, but no permanent harm done. And he had to admit, it had been kind of fun.
cccccccccccccccccccc
Zack limped out of the elevator towards Sephiroth's apartment. He hadn't called ahead, but he had already checked for him at his office. He wasn't there so he was probably up here. Or on the roof. Zack cringed at the idea of having to haul his aching butt up to the roof.
He paused in front of the door, not sure of what he was going to find in there. He procrastinated by examining the texture of the door.
"Zack you coward, get on with it," he muttered to himself. Then he knocked.
"It's open."
Zack paused, since when did the General leave his door unlocked? Brief paranoia flashed over him. Maybe it was some sort of trap. He opened the door cautiously and poked his head in. Sephiroth was on the couch, Masamune on his lap. He looked calm enough, and he was polishing the blade, usually a good sign since the General liked polishing his weapons. It was some sort of meditative exercise for him. He motioned for Zack to come in.
Zack lowered himself carefully into one of the leather chairs, looking at the huge tapestry hanging above the General's head on the wall behind him. It was of an ancient Wutai city, graceful buildings surrounded by lush vegetation. It used to hang in the palace and the emperor had actually given it to him after Wutai lost the war. Something about how he couldn't bear to look at the image of Wutai in its former glory and he hoped his conqueror would keep the memory for him. Or something like that, Wutai was kind of a mystery to Zack. He didn't know why Sephiroth had hung it there, as a badge of victory? A memento of guilt? Or maybe he just liked the thing. Zack had asked once and not gotten an answer. That was awhile ago; maybe he could get an answer now. But tonight he had bigger fish to fry.
"You've recovered, I see," Sephiroth said.
"Yeah, well you know, mako boy that I am." He paused. "Been a long time since you beat the crap out of me like that. I remember you used to do it weekly."
"You are much better now than you were back then." Sephiroth said.
"Because you've worked with me a lot in the last couple of years. But I'm still no match for you."
"Nobody is."
Sephiroth said this without arrogance, or even a hint of pleasure. In fact he sounded heartbroken by it, and Zack suspected correctly that he was talking about more than just swordplay. He waited, hoping for more, until his internal sense of Sephiroth timing told him it was time for a little push.
"Seph, what's wrong?"
Another long pause and Zack could see him struggling with the desire to tell, to speak. It was always such a struggle for Sephiroth, maybe it always would be.
"I want children," he finally said.
It was a simple statement, a normal desire. But Sephiroth was anything but normal. Zack remembered the scene in the bathroom at the lab. Had he been giving a sperm sample in regards to this?
"And there's some problem?" Zack asked.
"There's a problem."
"Because... there's no match for you?"
"Apparently the mother would need to have a stabilized mako level of 200 or better to support a pregnancy of my offspring."
Zack gave a low appreciative whistle. He himself was stabilized at 240, but his number was among the highest in the program.
"Well, so you're not going to find a woman like that walking down the street, but levels can be brought up."
"I know, after careful screening to find a candidate who can tolerate high levels, then go through the whole process." Sephiroth said.
Zack winced. The "whole process" took years and was painful, not to mention even after screening some candidates failed to stabilize or wigged out. Or worse.
Sephiroth gave a small humorless laugh. "I guess I could put an ad in the paper or something, find some mako greedy bitch interested in that. I was hoping to have a woman I loved bear these children. Foolish, maybe. Can you imagine asking someone you love to go through mako infusion?"
Zack looked at the floor. Soldiers did it for their own reasons, but no, he couldn't ask a woman he loved to go through that. He thought of Tessa, whom the General appeared to have some interest in. She was soft, gentle. Kind. The thought of her writhing on the table in pain while green poison invaded her body made his stomach flip.
"Seph, lots of couples adopt or use surrogates..."
"It's OK," Sephiroth said, "I just need to shelve this idea for awhile. Concentrate on getting myself under control. I've been a little crazy lately."
"I've noticed." Zack stood up to go and winced, one hand going to the injured ribs.
"Why don't you go get that healed?" Sephiroth asked, frowning in concern.
Zack smiled at him. This was the man he loved, not the cold abuser and killer who was let loose in the training hall earlier. He accepted the other because it was part of his friend, but he was happy to see him go.
"I did already, they were completely busted, so this is as far as it'll go for now." he said, not beyond appreciating the look of mild horror on his friend's face.
"Are your men alright?" Sephiroth asked.
"Your men are just fine, General."
ccccccccccccccccccccccc
Two days later they had group drill again. The participants from the last session had an entire rest day; the others had been assigned to scrub blood off the floor and maintenance of weapons and armor. Zack didn't want to waste the difficult trial of two days ago, not while there were lessons still fresh that might be cemented. He ordered another full contact bokuto day. While the men geared up he heard Marcus off to his right.
"Oh-oh."
Zack turned and saw Sephiroth enter. Excellent. He gave the command to line up and the stragglers rushed to comply, now noticing the General was there.
The whole group stood before Sephiroth, somber and silent. They were nervous, none daring to look directly at him. He owed them no explanation; he was their commander and they would, they must, accept him. But he drew in a slow breath, hardly believing he was going to take a piece of advice from Tseng of all people.
"I apologize for Tuesday," he said. Most of the men looked up. Even Zack looked a little surprised, although maybe not as much as he would have a month ago. "I have... a bit of a temper." It was vague, but it was the best he could offer.
The admission caused a ripple of small noises to move through the group- voices, moving feet, several tongue popping sounds that Sephiroth had no idea what they might mean, and one short whistle. Then a voice from the back, full of lament and envy:
"I should have such a temper."
The group laughed. Sephiroth recognized the voice as Britton's, the man he had downed first. It occurred to him that Britton had been getting pretty arrogant as of late. Maybe it was just as well he took him down a few pegs. Sephiroth held up his hand and they immediately retuned to silence, except this time every pair of eyes was riveted on him, faces open.
"I am sorry that I walked out as I did. But I am not sorry for the thrashing. Your performance was abysmal."
Groans issued from the group, but now they were grinning. This was familiar territory, the verbal berating. In their hearts they knew they were the best there was and also that there was no shame in being beaten by the General. Everyone got beat by the Sephiroth, even Zack.
"I want to see the three I had on Tuesday, one at a time to go over your errors. Who's first? And to Sephiroth's astonishment all three jumped forward immediately, each as eager to work with him as they had been two days ago. He scanned their faces fondly.
"Jensen, you're with me."