A/N: Um, hello? Hi everyone. I'd like to greet the newest members to our little family here. Since last week, we've had a large influx of newbies to this story, and I want to thank each and every one of you. I've been truly amazed by your feedback, and am seriously happy you've enjoyed the story so far. From what I gather, this story got rec'd by LadyExcalibur2010 on her story 'The Bigger They Are,' which is an amazing piece of fic, by the way. Thank you so much LadyEx, and if I can bring even a fraction of the number of readers you brought my way to you, it still won't be enough thanks. So welcome one and all, and I hope I don't disappoint too much.
For those of you who've been with me for a while, you guys have probably figured out by now that sometimes when I start writing, things grow bigger than I expected them to. That's what happened with this chapter. So...you'll have to bare with me through one more chappy from Edwood's POV after this, and then we should get back to Bella. The good news is that the next chapter is mostly done, so you shouldn't have to wait two weeks for it; it'll hopefully be up in less than a week (as long as my BB Danna can do her magic with it)!
Thanks to my lovely Beta Danna0724, still loving you lots girl.
And thanks to my reader twisagafan who guided me through the legal mumbo jumbo for this chapter. Hope I got it all straight, but just as a reminder, I am not a legal expert, and I tried to keep things as true to life as possible. Please bare with me.
All characters belong to S. Meyer, I'm just moving them to the East Coast for a bit.
Chapter 10 – Hero
Song Rec. – Hero, by Enrique Iglesias
Bella and I sat stiffly on the uncomfortable chairs behind the small, rectangular wood table. From underneath, out of the watchful eyes of the rest of the court room, I took one of her hands, trying to offer her some encouragement. When she looked up at me, the terrified expression on her beautiful face sent a ripple of pain through my heart. Nevertheless, I tried to muster up a confident smile. It was all I could offer her at the moment.
If Bella was my beauty, Maddie was my princess; she sat quietly on a chair in the middle of the large, imposing courtroom, swinging her small legs playfully back and forth, blissfully unaware of what the next few minutes might bring. For that much, at least, I was grateful. Her long brown hair draped her tiny porcelain face as she looked down to whisper something in the ear of Angie, the little ballerina doll that accompanied her everywhere. Someone had placed Maddie's chair between where Bella and I sat, and where he - Paul Forrester - sat.
Jenks, furiously scribbling notes on the other side of me, leaned in to whisper, "The judge is on his way. Get ready." I nodded once and adjusted the buttons on my suit.
We all stood quickly once the judge walked into the courtroom. Bella's grip on my hand tightened.
I had a hard time hearing what the judge was saying. His voice droned like a far away echo, like a dull horn. Confused, my eyes strayed to the rest of the courtroom - to the transcriber typing away furiously; to the tall bailiff standing rigidly to the side of the empty witness stand – before stopping on the rectangular table directly across from where Bella, Jenks and I stood.
Paul Forrester and his Counselor. The asshole threatening to take away the little girl that - along with her mother - had in the last few weeks become the center of my universe.
Over my dead body fucker.
I tried to focus on Paul's face, to read him. What was motivating him? What was in his eyes? Did he really want to be a part of his daughter's life, or was this all just a desperate attempt to trap a woman who no longer wanted him? But Paul Forrester's eyes - as well as the rest of his face - were as blurred to me as the judge's voice was muffled. I squinted, but I just couldn't get my eyes to focus.
Despite my distorted vision, I could feel him looking right at me. I could feel the hatred, the absence of conscience seething like a dark poison out of every pore in his tall, dark frame. Some sixth-sense also told me that the mother-fucker was definitely sneering, confident that he'd walk out of this court room the victor.
He'd have to get through me first.
The abrupt fury burning in my bones distorted my vision further, and suddenly the entire court room was just a hazy fog. Blood pulsed wildly in my temples, adrenaline rushed through my veins. My body stiffened and my free hand clenched at my side. I bit my lip, hard, fighting the instinct to turn to the judge and yell "fuck you all" before grabbing Bella and Maddie and booking it the hell out of there. I tried to control the maddening impulse to rush over to the blurry faced man and connect my fist to his face, effectively wiping the invisible, smug sneer off.
A warm hand abruptly tightened around mine, breaking me out the rage and reminding me why it was important to stay calm. I looked down and Bella shook her head slightly, as if to say, 'not now.' I forced my attention back to the judge.
"…therefore, this court has determined that full custody of Madisen Swan, daughter of Isabella Swan and Paul Forrester, should be handed over to her biological father. Isabella Swan will be granted visitation rights on a temporary basis, until a more permanent schedule is determined by this court…"
"No!" Bella screamed, and before anyone moved, I'd swept Maddie out of her chair and was holding her between us, holding both of them tightly to me with my head buried in between them.
Jenks voice sounded from somewhere behind me. "Edward, you have to let them go. The judge has made his ruling. They're not yours; neither one of them. They never were, and they never will be."
I knew it was true. But God, I couldn't let go of either one of them. I just couldn't.
Someone snickered. "Yeah Eddie boy. They're not yours. They're mine; both of them."
My head shot up, searching for the culprit, but my eyes were met by Bella's agonized gaze. "Edward, I can't leave her. If she stays with him, I stay too."
"No," I whispered, my dry mouth barely able to form the word. "Please, no."
My eyes swept the entire courtroom then, and I was startled to find some of my family here. Alice stood off to the side by herself, watching me through large, swollen eyes.
"Edward, I'm so sorry. I guess I was wrong about you and Bella."
Further behind her stood Rose and my father, shaking their heads at me.
"Edward, let them go son. You wouldn't know how to take care of them; how to be the man they need you to be."
"No. I can be the man they need," I hissed.
"I told you Edward. There are consequences to your actions. But no, you had to do things your way," Rosalie smirked.
The rest of their words were completely lost on me though, because a soft, frightened little voice caught my attention. I looked down and my eyes locked onto a sweet, caramel face with big brown eyes.
"Peez, peez don't make me go with him," Maddie - my princess - begged, holding on to my arms with all the might a four-year old little girl could possibly muster. A lump formed in my throat; an unbearable tightness gripped my chest. "Peez daddy, don't make me go with that man. I want to stay with you and mommy."
And suddenly, nothing else mattered. Not the judge's insanely fucked-up ruling, not the bailiff glaring at me, daring me to defy the judge's orders, not my own father's lack of faith in me, and most definitely not fucking Paul Forrester.
All that mattered were the woman and the little girl in my arms.
I bent down and placed a kiss on her forehead. "You're not going anywhere with him Maddie," I promised. Paul snorted, but I ignored him while the indescribable joy I felt at what Maddie'd just called me waged an internal battle with the indescribable need to put my fist through his mouth.
"Daddy'll keep you safe," I vowed, the determination in my voice unwavering. Bella and Maddie were my priorities. First I had to make sure they were safe; I'd beat the shit out of Paul afterwards.
When a hand suddenly gripped my shoulder, my first thought was 'Do you mind? I'm having a moment here with my daughter,' before the anger returned.
"Time to stop playing house Cullen. Get the fuck away from my family."
With the last of my self-control, I shook his grip off of me. I turned to Bella and handed over Maddie to her.
"You and Maddie go sit with my father." Although not exactly at the top of my favorite persons list right now, I knew he'd take care of them. After all, I'd inherited my protective instincts from him.
"But-"
"Go."
Once they were with my dad, I turned around.
The burning fury that had only licked at the corners of my mind before now took center stage and morphed into a mind-blowing, blinding rage. Blood boiled in my veins; adrenaline pumped through my body so hard and fast that I felt as if I were about to explode. My vision turned to red; like a bull ready to charge, and when my eyes moved to the motherfucker trying to destroy our lives, I narrowed my glare, forcing my focus on his blurry face.
Bull's Eye.
I stalked towards him. "Your family?" I hissed. "Your family?" His mouth turned up in a sneer, still stupid enough to try and mock me. "They are not your family," I snarled. "You gave them up a long time ago. You didn't want them." My chest heaved; my hands curled into fists. "They're my family now. And you're not taking them away."
He laughed then. A maniacal laugh that did away with any semblance of restraint I had left, and suddenly my fist was smashing his face. From behind me, I heard Bella scream and my father begging me to stop, but I couldn't stop. This fucker wasn't taking my family away from me; not now, not ever.
"They're mine!" I growled, hearing the crack of his jaw under my fist.
"They're mine!" I repeated. Somehow, faceless fucker still managed to laugh again.
"Mine!" I repeated, delivering more blows to his face, his ribs, anywhere and everywhere. He kept on laughing.
"Mine!"
"Mine!"
"Mine!"
I sat straight up, gasping for air against the cold darkness of my bedroom. A thin sheen of sweat covered my bare chest, dripping down my abs and glistening in the streaming moonlight through the window. I shivered.
"Fuck," I groaned, running my fingers through my dampened hair. I took a deep breath, letting it out in one large gust, and tried to calm my racing heart. I could hear it beating wildly in my chest, louder than the car horns beeping relentlessly outside my window.
"Fuck." I threw myself back against the pillows, using one arm to cover my face. It was the second time in as many nights that I'd had this nightmare. I snorted, wondering what ever happened to the nocturnal dreams I used to have, the ones that left me with a racing heart and a stiffy instead of a racing heart and dark circles under my eyes. I'd slept so little in the past few days I was starting to look like a fucking vampire.
I looked at the clock; the bright green glowing digits flashing three forty-three in the morning. I groaned again, very awake and knowing there was no way in hell I was falling asleep any time in the near future. With a final grunt, I lifted myself off the bed and stalked into the bathroom to wash the sweat off of me.
I squinted when the light came on in the bathroom, scowling impatiently while my eyes adjusted. I played with the temperature of the shower, waiting for the steam to rise before throwing off my boxers and jumping in, slamming the shower door behind me. Once in, I let the hot water pound against me, turning my face up into the spray and letting the water slide down my shoulders and my chest, slowly washing away the stress of the night. After a couple of minutes, I turned under the shower and lowered my head, letting the flow of water massage the back of my neck now. With a sigh of frustration brought on by the recurring nightmares, as well as by the knowledge of what tomorrow could possibly bring, I let my forehead rest against the cool, marble tiles of the wall.
My mind trailed back to Bella. It was almost one in the morning on the other side of the country, in a little rainy town called Forks in the State of Washington. I wondered what she was doing, if she was doing a better job at sleeping than I was. I doubted it; not tonight. I drew in a deep breath and picked up the bar of soap, scrubbing myself roughly while my mind replayed every detail from the past few days.
My cell phone vibrated just as I'd been letting myself into my apartment. I pulled it out quickly, but made sure to check Caller ID before answering. My mouth turned up in a wide grin. It had been one long god-damned day.
"Bella," I breathed, unable to disguise the relief in my voice.
"Hey Edward," she answered, and maybe it was just wishful thinking, but I thought I detected the same kind of relief in her voice.
"Are you and Maddie okay? Did the flight go well?" I threw my bag and keys on the small table by the door and walked straight through towards the balcony, sliding the glass door open quickly and stepping out into the cool, evening air.
"Yes, we're fine. The flight was okay. Maddie behaved pretty well through most of it, though I had to take away the Toblerone bar Alice bought her half-way through the flight, when she started bouncing in her seat and opening and closing the tray in front of her like there was no tomorrow. Alice is gonna pay for that one when she has her own kids. Who the heck gives a four-year old a giant chocolate bar ten minutes before a six-hour flight?"
I couldn't help chuckling. "Alice does, that's who. So other than a slightly hyper four-year-old, everything else went fine?"
"Mm hmm. It's been a long day though. We just got in a little while ago."
"What's Maddie doing?" I felt a sharp pang, knowing I wouldn't be seeing her sweet little face for a few days. No more than a few days, I told myself.
"She's inside with my dad and Jake. She'll be keeping them busy with her stories for a while, so I figured I'd come outside and breathe in some fresh mountain air and…call you. I hope you weren't busy-"
"Bella, stop asking me that. I'm never too busy for you. You should know that by now." She remained silent, which of course, puzzled me no fucking end. I would've thought after the way we said good-bye at the airport, she'd know she and Maddie were my priorities.
"Jay Jenks called me," she said, as if she were trying to change the subject. "He wants to meet with me Sunday, so we can go over everything before the week starts."
"Good. Get all your stuff together, meet with him, and then I'm sure he'll tell you that everything's going to be fine." And then you and Maddie can come back…home…to me.
"I hope you're right. I want this over with as quickly as possible."
A sudden thought occurred to me. "Bella, your ex-husband, would he come looking for you-" My hand involuntarily tightened around the phone.
Bella half-chuckled. "Paul's not that stupid. He won't come near my dad's house. He knows the Chief would shoot first and ask questions later. And besides, he wouldn't…not with Jake around…"
In some deep part of me, the part that was trying really hard to be a decent guy, I knew that regardless of what that meant, I should've been glad that Bella's ex-husband apparently wouldn't try anything as long as Jake was around. But the rest of me, especially the jealous fuck that hadn't existed until I met Bella, couldn't help the way my grip tightened around the phone even more, until I could hear the thin metal of my cell protesting under my hand.
"I'm glad you have someone there to protect you and Maddie." I cringed once the words were out, not because I didn't mean them, but because although I'd really fucking tried, I knew I hadn't been able to hide the tone of jealousy underlying the words.
"Edward…" – she took a breath – "Jake, he means the world to me, and he's been there for me through a lot. But…even though things between he and I are kind of…confusing right now, he's just my friend."
I wanted to ask what exactly that meant. Friends had so many meanings nowadays. There were college friends, and work friends, old friends and new friends, casual friends, friends with benefits…
And then she'd said he had something to do with the whole paternity issue…
I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath. Bella wouldn't be the type to have those kinds of friends. Besides, I reminded myself, this was exactly what she'd meant when she'd said there'd be things she wouldn't be able to answer right now. Later, but not now.
"Bella, just- be safe. Take care of yourself and take care of Maddie. That's all I care about."
"I will. Edward I-" she started saying something and then stopped abruptly. "Coming dad!" she yelled out. "Um, I've gotta go actually."
"Oh. Okay."
She huffed. "I'll call you in a few days?"
I would've preferred sooner, but I didn't want her to think that after one kiss I thought I owned her.
"Call me whenever you get a chance. Let me know what's going on, okay?"
"I will."
"Bella?"
"Yes?"
"Everything's going to be fine."
I heard her draw in a deep breath. "Okay."
"And Bella?"
"Yes?"
"I'll be…thinking about you. And Maddie."
"We'll be thinking about you too."
"One more thing Bella."
I heard her chuckle once. "Yes?"
"I'll be thinking about…the airport too," I breathed out quickly.
"Edward?"
"Yes?"
"I'll be remembering that too. A lot."
And I couldn't help the huge grin that erupted on my face.
"I'll call you soon," she promised. I wouldn't push her for more.
"Alright then."
"Bye Edward."
"Bye Bella."
The next day crawled by, and by Sunday, I was more than just a little stir crazy, so I took my mother up on her offer and went up to Long Island for the weekend.
Esme prepared one of her delicious dinners, and afterwards, we all went into the snug theater room to suffer through our heart-burn in front of the large screen TV. My father lit the large fireplace; Esme and Carlisle lived right off the water, and over here, you could feel the crisp fall nights much more than in the city. Emmett and Rose had brought a boot-leg movie to watch, and halfway through, my mother left her spot next to my father and quietly made her way to me.
I turned to glance at her, smiling, before turning my eyes back to the movie. Not that I was paying much attention. It was the third installment in one of the vampire sagas that were so popular lately and, while the lead actress was cute, she couldn't act her way out of a Cracker Jack box.
My mother reached out and brushed a few strands of hair off of my forehead.
"How are you doing Edward?" she whispered.
"I'm good mom," I whispered back, keeping my eyes on the screen.
"I hear things have been hectic at work."
"Yeah, you know how it is. Come fall everyone's getting ready for their spring campaigns, come spring, everyone starts getting the fall campaigns ready. Yada, yada." I shrugged.
"Hmmm," she hummed with raised eyebrows, trying hard to feign interest. I chuckled.
"It makes me really happy to see you more lately." I smiled and took her hand across the seat. I knew I hadn't been the best son to her for the past few years. She'd always been a great mother to me and my siblings.
"Your uncle tells me you said you might not make the charity auction this week?" Esme was big with charity auctions. She sat on the board of several, and ever since I could remember, she'd been involved in running or organizing some sort of benefit.
I shrugged again. "I don't know." I thought about how my uncle had suggested I invite Bella to the auction. I pursed my lips and shook my head, thinking how there wasn't a chance in hell of that happening now; not with thousands of miles between us.
"What?" my mother asked, having caught my head shake.
"What?"
"Why'd you shake your head?"
"What? Oh. Nothing. I was just uh…thinking that if I was the guy in this movie I would've thrown the dirty mutt out of that tent hours ago," I said, jerking my chin towards the screen.
"Oh," Esme nodded, turning her eyes to the large TV. "Well, you know, he's a good friend to her."
"Pshh," I snorted. "He just wants to get in her pants."
"Edward!" she hissed, shoving my arm with her hand. She tried to hide a smile.
I chuckled. "Sorry mom, but it's the truth."
She was quiet for a few minutes, and I thought she'd turned her attention back to the movie.
"My brother also tells me he had an interesting conversation with you last week on the yacht."
"Did he now? What exactly did he say?"
"Not much. Just that from the way you sounded, he's confident that Tanya and you were permanently over this time, thank God. Not that I mean to judge," she said quickly, putting one hand up apologetically, "but honestly honey, you could do so much better.
She was so wrong for you." She shook her head vigorously. "And he also said that…"
"That what?" I asked, turning to her with a raised eyebrow.
"Really, nothing more. It was just the way…it just looked as if there might've been more."
Uncle Aro was turning into a gossipy old lady in his forties. Thank God it seemed he hadn't said anything about the lawyer for Bella.
As if on cue, Esme cleared her throat and asked, "How's Bella?"
I turned and narrowed my eyes at my mother. "What do you mean?"
She gave me a confused look. "It's not a trick question my love. How's Bella? We're all pretty worried. Alice says the hearing's on Wednesday?"
I looked at her suspiciously. "Yeah, I spoke to her the night she left, but I haven't heard from her since."
"Well, she must be really busy over there."
"Yeah, I think she probably is."
"I really hope everything goes well. They've both become really special to this family."
"Yeah mom. I know they have."
Her eyes narrowed. She watched me through her green eyes the way only a mother can. "And you?"
"And me what?"
She opened her mouth, but then hesitated. When she spoke, I was pretty sure she'd meant to say something else.
"And you're okay?"
"Yes mom. I told you. I'm fine."
She kept my eyes locked with hers for a few more seconds and then finally released me.
"Well, if there's anything you want to talk about Edward, you know your father and I are here."
I suppressed a smirk when she mentioned my father, but as always, she caught it.
"Give him a chance Edward. He's been trying harder these past few weeks. I know things were rough between you and him for a while, but believe me, he wants to fix that. He loves you very much. He always has."
"Yeah mom. Okay," I agreed, more to placate her than anything else.
My phone vibrated then, and when I saw the phone number, I excused myself quickly and flew out of the room, walking swiftly as I pressed the 'talk' button.
"Bella?"
"Hi Edward. Is this a bad time?" Her voice sounded low and somewhat shaky.
"No. No of course not," I responded while I quickly opened the front door to the house and walked out into the chilly night. I lifted my shoulders and pressed my arms against my sides, sticking my free hand in the front pocket of my pants to keep it warm. A shiver ran through my body.
"What's going on? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," she answered, but she sounded off.
"Is Maddie okay?" I asked.
"Yeah, she's fine Edward." I exhaled in relief before I heard the quiet sobs.
"Bella, what's wrong?"
"I'm sorry Edward. I know I shouldn't keep bothering you with my problems. But I'm just so mad at myself. I just needed-" – she stopped and drew in a deep breath – "I needed to talk to…I needed to talk to…I needed,"
"It's okay Bella. Just calm down and tell me what happened."
Her words poured out fast. "I met with Jenks this afternoon and we went over the divorce papers and the paperwork my old lawyer had drawn up to terminate Paul's parental rights." She started crying harder.
"Shh. Relax Bella. Relax." I closed my eyes. Damn it, why didn't I go to Washington with her?
"What did Jenks say?" I asked, once her tears subsided.
"He did it all wrong Edward. The affidavit wasn't enough. We needed to file a petition to terminate and then present it to the court."
I had no idea what the fucking difference was, but it didn't sound good.
"So what exactly does that mean?"
"It means that in the eyes of the court, Paul has as much right over Maddie as I do and that come Wednesday…he's still legally her father," she finished in a hopeless voice.
Before I could say anything, she called out, "I'll be right there Maddie," and I could hear the strain in her voice. "Edward, can I call you back? Maddie and my dad are waiting for me. We're supposed to go out for ice cream."
"Do you want me to call you back in an hour or so?"
"Yeah, okay." She paused. "Edward, I'm sorry. I don't mean to burden you with my problems, but I can't let my dad know how frightened I am, because he's likely to put a bullet through Paul." I was having a hard time seeing what the problem with that would be. "And Jake, Jake's even worse."
I bit my lip. It wouldn't have been a good idea to let her know all the different ways I planned to mutilate her ex-husband if I ever got my hands on him.
"Bella, I told you at the airport, don't ever apologize to me. For anything. I'm glad you called me. I'm here for you, in any way you need me. We'll figure this out. Don't worry."
I told her again I'd call her back in an hour, and as soon as we hung up, I scrolled through my contacts until I found the number I needed.
"Jay Jenks here."
"Jenks. It's Edward Cullen. What the hell is going on?"
"What's going on? What's going on?" he repeated. "What's going on is that that sumbitch hillbilly lawyer Isabella used for her divorce must've gotten his degree online or something! How the hell do you not know the difference between an Affidavit and an application for termination?" He sounded as if he'd been asking himself that question all evening.
I ran my hand through my hair and slowly down my face. "So what now?"
"Well, the fact still remains that the little girl has had no contact with Forrester for over two years. And, he was well aware of the documentation to relinquish his paternal rights. That should be enough to at least grant us a temporary stay on the DNA order. Jenks remained quiet for a few moments, and I thought he was done talking. Abruptly, he continued. "Forrester's hired himself a big-shot from Seattle to handle this case for him," Jenks chuckled. I frowned, missing the joke.
"You don't sound concerned."
"Well, there's always the chance something might go wrong." Fucking lawyers could never give a straight answer. "But Cullen, I've been in this business since you were in diapers. I've seen it all at this point. I've got a pretty good picture of what type of character this Forrester guy is, and I've got a few surprises up my sleeve for him."
"What do you mean?"
"Well," he began, and then hesitated.
"Look, I'm not asking you for any information that would break your confidentiality agreement, I just want to make sure you're on top of this. I just spoke to Isabella, and she sounded pretty upset." It was a weird situation. Bella was his actual client, but I was secretly footing the bill.
"Ah fuck. I guess that's my fault. I was just so pissed off at her cluster-fucking lawyer. I'm on top of it alright, though. That bumfuck did set us back a bit, but I've always got a contingency plan worked out in my head. Without getting into specifics, let's just say that Forrester isn't the most upstanding citizen."
I groaned, wondering how this shit could get any worse, but Jenks went on, perfectly at ease.
"There are a few…facts I've uncovered about Mr. Forrester that the court would be interested to know, and I'll be disclosing to his counsel tomorrow morning that I plan to present these facts in court on Wednesday. There's also years of medical and child support that haven't been paid that he has to consider if he wants any kind of access to his daughter. If Forrester really wants the little girl, he's gonna have a ton of shit to answer for first."
I thought of what Bella had said to me over the phone the other day.
I would've never separated my daughter from a father who really loved her.
I was silent, and Jenks laughed.
"Relax Cullen. That's what you're paying me the big bucks for. And believe me, you will be paying some mighty big bucks. This case is taking me away from a pretty irate rapper back in New York. He's already threatened to put a cap in my ass if I don't get him out of his legal troubles."
I rolled my eyes, not interested in his problems with the hip-hop world. "What if Paul doesn't really want the child? What if it's something else he's after?"
"Well, then it depends on how badly he wants whatever it is he's after."
I let out a huge gust of air from my nose.
"Cullen, listen to me. I know this guy's type. I feel pretty confident." – There was that term again; he'd been pretty confident before and that had apparently gone to shit – "This should be enough to get him to back off. And then we can try to fix the mess Isabella's old lawyer created. File the correct paperwork and hope that once Forrester sees Isabella doesn't have a fucking retard for a lawyer anymore, he'll be more willing to cooperate. There's no guarantee he won't regroup at some point and come back with bigger guns, but there's plenty that can happen between now and then. Ms. Swan may not always be alone," he added.
I wasn't sure what that meant, but I didn't have time to think about it now.
"What happens if Forrester doesn't back down?"
Jenks exhaled loudly. "Then we come at him with everything we've got. But I've gotta be honest with you Cullen, if that's the case, it's very possible he'll end up with some sort of visitation rights, at the very least, until the court determines his real intentions."
I brought the phone's mouth piece closer. "You just do whatever it takes to make sure that neither Isabella nor her daughter have to deal with that asshole again," I growled. "Whatever. It. Takes."
We hung up. Even though it'd been less than a half-hour I started dialing Bella's cell.
A voice from behind startled me. "Edward, is everything okay?"
I wheeled around quickly, surprised to see my father standing just outside the door. I hit the end button on the phone.
"Everything's fine dad," I lied smoothly. "I just came out for some air."
Carlisle eyed me for a second before stretching out an arm towards me. "Yes. Your mother sent me out to give you this." He was holding my Dartmouth sweatshirt. "She says its cold and you'll get sick, even though I reminded her you don't catch a cold from the weather, but you know how she worries," he rambled. His eyes never left mine as he spoke, and I could tell that, although his voice was as calm and composed as always, he'd caught some part of my phone conversation.
I reached for his outstretched hand. "Thanks," I said, keeping my face as blank as possible. I pulled the sweatshirt over my head and hoped that by the time my head popped out he'd be gone. No such luck.
"Downright frigid tonight, isn't it?" he said, blowing into his hands and rubbing them together. He'd moved closer to me.
I stuck my hands in my pockets, gripping my cell phone anxiously. I needed to call Bella back. The last thing I wanted was small talk with my father.
"Yeah, I suppose it is," I answered shortly.
He stared straight ahead. "I suppose we'll have to turn on the fireplaces tonight."
"Yeah, sure," I agreed distractedly. With my anxiety to get back to Bella growing, I began, "Listen dad, I have to make-"
But Carlisle cut me off. "Edward, I've got to say, I was very happy to hear from your uncle that things with Tanya are over for real this time."
I smirked and rolled my eyes. "Yes dad. But I told you that already, didn't I?"
He raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "Can you really blame me for not believing you? I mean, it wouldn't be the first time you said you'd ended things with her only to get back together the following week. And the tabloids said-"
"Maybe you should stop believing everything you read and just believe me for once."
He'd picked the wrong time to mention the tabloids. All those nosy assholes were on my shit list at the moment.
"Yes, you're right," he agreed warily. "I probably should've listened to you."
My head jerked back in surprise. I hadn't expected him to actually agree.
"Um, that's…okay," I hedged curiously. "I guess I can see why it would've been a bit hard to believe. She and I did yo-yo back and forth there for a while."
Carlisle nodded. Just as I thought we were done with the father son thing for the season and was getting ready to excuse myself once again, he said, "Listen, good luck with the presentation this week. Emmett tells me you've all worked really hard on this for the past few weeks. I'm sure all that hard work will pay off."
Again, I was momentarily shocked. In the five years since we'd started CCW, my father and I rarely, if ever, discussed anything related to its projects or progress. In his mind, our discussions should've revolved around aortas and clogged arteries and the latest advances in surgical instruments. I was supposed to have been the one to continue the Cullen Legacy, not develop cereal commercials.
After the initial surprise wore off, I recovered myself and answered, "Yeah, it's been a lot of long days and a few long evenings, but we're pretty confident." – I smirked, realizing I'd just used Jenks' token phrase – "The initial idea was Bella's, and it was a great one, so we've pretty much got it in the bag."
Carlisle nodded again, as if he were considering this. Keeping his eyes trained on the dark night ahead, he slowly asked, "And…how's Bella doing? Your mother and sister tell me she's got some problems with her ex-husband at the moment?"
This is where I started to get suspicious. To anyone else, to his friends or colleagues, those two questions would've been just small talk between a father and son. The way he asked them, slowly and calmly, without a hint of anything else in his voice. But I'd dealt with my father's calm, rational questions for years now, and I knew how they worked.
Involuntarily, I swallowed before answering; cursing myself as I did, because as well as I knew my dad's tells, he probably knew mine even better. Staring out into the darkness, I answered,
"Apparently mom and Alice have all the information." I tried to keep the irritation out of my voice; the less ammo I gave him the better. "So you should probably ask them anything you want to know. Not that I think they should be discussing Bella's business so openly," I threw in petulantly.
It was as if I could feel the atmosphere around us changing, morphing into the charged, tense air that usually surrounded conversations between my father and I. Carlisle seemed to hesitate for just a few seconds before asking,
"Edward, who were you on the phone with just now?"
My jaw tightened. "That was a personal call."
"What's going on?"
I drew in a deep breath. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him watching me now, waiting for an answer that wasn't coming.
Carlisle inhaled deeply, letting it out slowly. "I don't know exactly what's going on Edward, but I urge you to stop and think. She's not the kind of girl you're used to."
The irritation I'd been trying to hold back now seeped to the forefront, but still, I struggled against it. I knew showing my father how his words cut me to the quick would just give him the upper hand.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I mumbled without looking at him.
But Carlisle wasn't deterred. He continued in that maddening, calm demeanor of his that had always rattled me.
"Son, like I said before, I'm really glad you finally ended things with Tanya. From the very beginning, your mother and I felt that your association with Tanya was…dangerous. Your mother feared she'd break your heart," – we both smirked – "but I feared she'd destroy your character. She brought out the worst in you. While you were with her, it was like you enjoyed showing the world just how bad you could be."
I closed my eyes, trying to block out the images of what those last few months with Tanya had been like. Sex, parties, drinking. More sex, more parties, more drinking. In the end, I'd felt nothing but a void inside me that all the debauchery in the world couldn't fill.
Carlisle didn't need my verbal confirmation. He saw it all in my face.
"I'm glad you seemed to have tired of that son. I've noticed a change in you, in the past few weeks, and I'm happy to see that you seem to be trying to figure out who you really are."
Again, I didn't answer, but I couldn't help feeling somewhat pleased by his words; feeling…gratified by his apparent approval. Shit, did I finally get something right? How long had it been since my father had been proud of me? A memory of myself as a young, skinny kid popped into my head, holding up the Little League World Series trophy my team and I had just won after I'd brought home the winning run; my dad standing proudly in the bleachers watching me. Afterwards, he'd taken the whole team out for ice-cream, and as he'd handed me my triple chocolate brownie cone, he'd looked me in the eye and patted my shoulder. "I'm really proud of you son," he'd said.
I hadn't heard that line very much as an adult.
And after hearing the next few words out of Carlisle's mouth, I realized I wasn't going to hear them any time in the near future.
"But you don't go from being 'Edward Cullen, Millionaire Playboy' to 'Edward Cullen, Superhero' overnight. And you certainly shouldn't be experimenting with an innocent woman and her child, who have enough problems of their own. It's irresponsible."
My head shot around to face him, and I couldn't control the shock, the resentment, the fucking hurt in my voice. "What? What are you-? What are you joking me? Experimenting? You've got no idea what you're talking about!"
He stared at me patiently, as if he were waiting for me to get over one of my childhood tantrums. As always, it only served to increase my indignation.
I rounded my whole body to face him, leaning in closer. "You don't know what's going on in my head," I hissed, "so do me a favor and stay out of it! You don't know me. You never have and you never will. You don't know what I feel, or what I think, or why I do the things I do. And you have no clue whatsoever about what's really going on." I was seething by the time I finished.
By contrast, Carlisle was the picture of calm, cool and collected. Why hadn't I inherited that from him?
"On the contrary Edward, I'm pretty sure I've got a clear picture of what's going on. You're tired of your old games. And like I said son, I'm really glad about that. Along comes a beautiful young woman and her little girl. They're all alone in the city and you see this as your chance to do something different, to play the hero instead of the bad guy. She needs a ride? You give her a ride. Her little girl needs help getting to her dance class? You step in and make it happen." He paused and met my eyes. "She needs a lawyer, you pay for the top family law counselor in the country."
I stared at him through wide, shocked eyes. "How…"
Carlisle sighed, the only outward sign he ever gave of being distressed. "Edward, hopefully someday you'll have a family of your own son, and then you'll understand that no matter how old, a child never stops being a child in the eyes of his parents. Every mistake they make is your mistake, just like every right move they make is cause to make you proud. You pick up on the most subtle changes, remarks, comments. Sometimes…you accidentally overhear things, and then all of a sudden, your mind puts two and two together."
I wondered if he could see the infuriation in my face at his gall.
"Unfreakin-believable," I muttered, shaking my head. "Do you know what color boxers I'm wearing too? I hate to disappoint you yet again, but I've gotta tell you dad, you've done a real – pardon my French – shitty job at piecing together this puzzle."
"So you didn't have a hand in getting Bella her lawyer?"
I glared at him but didn't answer, which was confirmation in itself. I was going to have a few choice words for my favorite uncle next time I spoke to him. And he could kiss my ass about going to his charity auction this week.
"And are you going to tell me you're not paying for him?"
I'd had enough at this point. I was a grown fucking man, I didn't have to answer to Carlisle. And I needed to call Bella back. I needed to tell her everything was going to be okay, that I wouldn't let anything happen. Yes, goddamnit, I'd be her hero if she let me.
"You know what dad? I'm not doing this with you. I've got a phone call to make, and frankly, I don't want to be disrespectful, but none of this is any of your business." I started to walk away.
Suddenly, my father's voice was no longer as calm. "Edward, what happens when you tire of playing superhero?"
I wheeled around. "What?" I asked, confused.
"What happens to Bella and Maddie when you grow tired of this role?"
I walked back over to my father quickly. "Did you ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, this isn't a game to me? That I'm not experimenting, or trying to play hero?" I thought I saw his eyebrows rise slightly in surprise, but it was so hard to read Carlisle's calm face. I swallowed thickly. "Did you ever stop and think that perhaps, this is real to me? That she's real?"
We stared at each other for a long time, neither one of us saying anything or looking away. We were exactly the same height, my father and I; we had the same build, although being older, his shoulders rounded slightly more than mine. I had Esme's eyes and hair color, but I could see that what the papers said was true. Physically, I was a younger version of Carlisle. Unfortunately for him, that's where the similarities ended.
He put one hand on my shoulder, almost apologetic. "Son, for years everything's been a game to you." He paused. "I'm afraid you'd just end up hurting Bella and Madisen."
I sneered and shook my head, moving my shoulder away. His hand dropped back to his side. "Your confidence in me, as always, is heartwarming." This time, when I walked away, I headed towards the driveway. "Say goodbye to mom for me."
"Edward wait," he called out and I could finally, finally hear something in his voice.
I didn't bother waiting to hear what it was. It would just be a variation on what I'd heard for years. Throwing the Audi into reverse, I backed out of the driveway and drove away.
A few miles down the Long Island Expressway, I turned into a rest stop. Sitting there with the car on park, I quickly replayed the conversation with my father.
I snorted. To think for a second there I'd thought we were finally starting to get past our issues. But it had all been a trick. He'd just been trying to bring my guard down so he could once again remind me of what a fuck up I was. That hadn't hurt so much; I was used to hearing that from him. But for him to insinuate that I'd ever purposely hurt Bella and Maddie? That I was playing some kind of game?
Taking a deep breath and pushing the whole incident with my father to the back of my mind, I quickly took out my cell phone and dialed Bella's number
"Edward," she breathed when she picked up the phone, and automatically, all the tension, all the hurt melted away with that one little word from her mouth. I could tell, from just that one word, that she felt better too.
I closed my eyes and smiled.
"You sound better," I said.
"Yeah," she agreed, with a smile in her voice. "I just got off the phone with Jenks. I was so upset before that I didn't listen to what else he had to say. But he seems to be pretty confident" – I rolled my eyes – "that we can still get out of this." She paused. "There are…things my ex-husband would probably prefer to keep out of court, and Jenks thinks just letting him know we plan to present those things to the court might be enough of an incentive to Paul to drop the whole thing. And he reminded me that no court in their right mind would grant Paul immediate custody with his background."
I thought for a moment. "What do you think? Do you think he'll back off?"
She took a quick breath and let it out just as quick. "I'd like to think this is just another one of those things Paul does on a whim, without actually thinking it through, and without a well thought out plan. It would fit his personality."
I swallowed. "I wish there was more I could do Bella, than just sit here and tell you everything's going to be alright."
She chuckled once. "You already have."
I shook my head, feeling so useless. "What did I do?"
"Just…talking to you before. I felt…calmer after I got off the phone with you." She sighed. "Just hearing you say it's going to be alright, it helps."
"How?"
"I don't know." The way she said it, as if she really had no clue. "It just does."
We talked a bit more, about how Maddie was settling in, and then I heard a gruff voice, an older man, call her, and Bella quickly said goodbye.
That night at home, I fell asleep thinking of Bella, of Maddie, of Jenks. Of my father and what it meant to be a father…and a man. That was the night I first had the nightmare.
Tuesday was hell. The following day was the court hearing. Unfortunately, it also happened to be the Cartwright presentation, and while I should've been getting ready for that, my mind was entirely somewhere else. No matter how I tried, I couldn't focus. I couldn't get my mind off of my nightmare, or off of the possibility that the hearing wouldn't go Bella's way the next morning.
She called me that evening, thank God, because I was starting to go bat-shit.
After filling me in on Maddie's afternoon, which involved fishing with her grandpa and Jake, she fell silent, and I knew she was worrying about the hearing the next day.
"It's going to be okay, you'll see," I said, with more conviction than I actually felt.
"Yeah…I know," she agreed, but I could hear the fear in her voice. "Edward, I've been thinking, about what we sort of talked about before I came to Washington." Her voice was low, almost a whisper.
I felt myself stiffen. Had she changed her mind?
"What I said to you, about understanding if you wanted to keep things…the way they are now, I meant it. I hope you know that. You're friendship means a lot to me. I don't know what I would've done these past few days without you to talk to. My dad, Jake, I love them but all they can think of is kicking Paul's ass. They don't see that this goes way beyond physically hurting Paul. This hearing tomorrow affects my daughter's entire life; who she has to call daddy. And Paul's just not…" – she took a deep breath – "he was never up for that job. I know I can't protect her forever Edward, but she's only four. And if I don't protect her, who will?"
And for a split second, I felt an agonizing sharp pain in my heart. Because something told me this was all wrong; Paul should never be the one Maddie calls daddy. I almost said it, but I bit down on my tongue.
"I don't want to ruin our friendship, or Maddie's relationship with you, by turning this into something…different." She stopped, but it sounded like there'd been more she'd wanted to say too.
"I don't want to ruin our friendship either Bella, so I'll leave it completely up to you where this goes when you return. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't want more than just…friendship."
She sighed. "Should I call you tomorrow, after the hearing?"
I snorted and shook my head. "What kind of question is that? If you don't, I'll probably lose my mind."
She was quiet for a few moments, in which I wondered once again what she was thinking. "Good night Edward," she whispered.
I inhaled deeply. "Good night Bella," I murmured, wishing she wasn't almost three thousand miles away.
"And Bella, everything will be okay. Please believe that."
"I'll try to Edward. I really will."
The decision to fly to Washington that night was almost subconscious. One minute I was sitting there on my couch, cell phone in hand, the next I was throwing clothes in a duffel bag, zipping it up and throwing it over my shoulder. In the cab on the way to the airport, I called Emmett to let him know I wouldn't be in the office the following morning.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Emmett yelled into the phone. "Where the fuck are you going?"
"I've got something I've got to take care of."
"You realize tomorrow's the fucking Cartwright meeting, don't you?"
I winced, pounding a fist into the worn seat next to me. I'd completely forgotten about the Cartwrights.
"I'm sorry Em. Apologize to the Cartwrights for me, and…"
"Apologize to the Cartwrights?" Emmett yelled. "Apologize to the Cartwrights? Have you forgotten that Bella's gone too? How the hell are we supposed to explain to the Cartwrights that not only is the person responsible for the entire idea missing, but so is one of our heads?"
"Look, I-"
"No, you look. Bella I can understand. She's got some asshole ex giving her shit, but where the hell are you going?"
"It's personal."
"I don't want to hear that 'it's personal' shit!" Emmett rarely lost his temper; he was more like our father that way. But when he did… "You pulled that 'personal' crap last summer when you disappeared for three weeks, and I put up with it then Edward, because you looked like shit and I knew you needed to get away. But enough of this! You've been spaced out for days, and tomorrow we've got one of the biggest fucking presentations of this agency's short career. You fucking need to be here!"
I knew no matter what I said, Emmett was going to be pissed off. "Emmett, I've got something important-"
"Something important? Something important?" – I pulled the phone away from my ear when he began to repeat himself. "What the hell could you possibly have going on in your life that's more important than this meeting tomorrow? Huh? Some party in London you're missing? Some skank in Miami or LA offered you good head?"
"Here, give me that!" I heard Rosalie say before snatching the phone away from her husband.
"Edward," – I rolled my eyes - "I'm only going to say one thing. Think. About. What. You're. Doing." She let out a frustrated sigh. "There will be consequences to your actions. Make sure you're willing to pay them first."
Were we still talking about my missing the Cartwright meeting?
"I have thought about the consequences, and yes, I'm willing to pay them."
She was quiet, and in the background, Emmett was still yelling. Abruptly, Rosalie snorted, "You're such an idiot," and then hung up.
I shook my head and put my phone away.
A few miles from the airport, my cell phone buzzed. I looked at the caller ID. Alice. Ignoring the phone call, I put my phone away again.
My cell buzzed again. Jasper. I ignored it. Emmett had apparently put out an APB on me.
Another buzz. Emmett again. Ignore.
Another buzz. Alice.
I rolled my eyes when the phone buzzed again and I saw they'd involved our poor mother in it.
Climbing out of the cab at JFK, my phone buzzed again. I pulled out my phone and saw my father's name on the Caller ID.
Fuck.
Shaking my head, I stuck my phone back in my pocket, and got on line to buy my ticket. When the phone buzzed again, I considered ignoring it completely, but what if it was Bella? Reluctantly, I pulled out my phone again only to find that it was Carlisle. Again.
Again and again and again, the phone vibrated in my pocket. After the umpteenth time, I groaned in frustration and looked up to find the lady in front of me staring, wide-eyed. For a second, I thought I may have startled her but then out of the corner of my eye, I saw that the girl who'd been standing behind me was now next to me, openly ogling me with the same wide eyes the women in front of me was.
Slowly, I moved my head from side to side and realized that there were a handful of people now, both on the ticket line and off, gaping openly at me.
Damn it. I'd been made. In my hurry to get to the airport, I'd completely forgotten about my disguise.
"Edward Cullen," I heard whispered, as more and more people recognized me. I lowered my head. The not-so-hushed-whispers around me grew. I was stuck with nothing to do but try and ignore the stares, the loud whispers, the angry vibrating in my pocket, the stares, the loud whispers, the angry vibrating in my pocket, the stares, the loud whispers, the angry vibrating in my pocket…
I groaned again, louder this time, not caring that I had an audience, and pulled out my cell phone. I was sure that if nothing else, whatever my father had to say would at least distract me.
"Yeah dad," I mumbled into the phone, keeping my head down and pinching the bridge of my nose.
"Edward, what are you doing?" I was surprised by how ruffled his feathers sounded.
"Judging from how you've been blowing up my phone, I'd say you have a pretty good idea."
He exhaled, and I could practically hear his eyes rolling. "Where are you?"
"Aren't you always two steps ahead of me? Haven't you guessed-"
"All I know is that I received a frantic phone call from your brother and his wife, saying you've disappeared again and you're planning on missing that meeting tomorrow. I thought that was important to you?"
I watched the uniformed airline teller signal for the next person in line to move up. Everyone else move up quickly, anxious to buy their tickets to wherever they were headed.
"There are more important things than that meeting."
Silence. "Does she even know you're going over there?" There was no point in keeping up pretenses anymore. Carlisle knew exactly where I was headed. Nevertheless, I didn't answer.
What would Bella say when I showed up at her father's doorstep? Would she be happy to see me there? Or would she think I'd gone against her wishes? Would Jacob be there? Would my presence make things uncomfortable; awkward? I moved up again as the teller called another person up to the front. There were less than a handful of people left in front of me.
"Have you thought this through Edward? I mean, really thought this through?"
"I…I need to be there for them."
My father sighed. "Edward, son, listen to me. You were right the other night. I don't know exactly what's going on. But I know enough to know that, even though I know you only want to be there for them, your presence in that courtroom can only hurt Bella right now, not help."
"How could it possibly hurt her?" But even as I asked the question, the answer glared at me through the eyes of every single person staring at me right now.
"Edward, once you buy your ticket, how long do you really think it'll take the newspapers and tabloids to put two and two together? Once you rent a car over there, how long do you think it'll take them to figure out where you're headed, and why? And once you show up in the courtroom" – he paused – "do you really think that sort of publicity will help Bella? You're right Edward, I don't know exactly what's going on. But I know enough to know that the media circus that would follow you into that courtroom would be disastrous."
I closed my eyes, exhaling angrily through my nose.
"Next," the teller called. I looked up to see that it was my turn. I hesitated. "Next!" she called out again, huffing impatiently.
"Dad, I just need to be there for her…for both of them."
"I know that Edward. I know. And from what I've seen, you have been there for her, and you can keep being there by not making things harder for her. And by showing her that you can be responsible, as well as helpful."
In the back of my mind, I could hear the words he'd repeated to me so many times over the years.
Be the man I know you can be.
Is this what he meant? Did it really have nothing to do with medical school, or following in his footsteps, or even falling in love with the right person? Was it just about knowing things like when to go…and when to stay? Putting someone else's needs before my own?
"Ex-kee-use me Mr. Cullen? While ah am tuhruly enjoyin' watchin' you from over here, the line behind you is growin', and mah supervisor's gonna have mah head if I don't keep it movin'!"
I took a few deep breaths. The teller arched an eyebrow. With a final long pull of air, I got off the line and walked away.
A/N: Reviews are almost as good as getting a sneak peak of Edward in the shower. Leave one.
One more chapter from Edward next, and it should be ready in a few days. Then we get to Bella.