Thanks for the birthday wishes. I was on a roll, so you already get the next chapter. Also, because my great beta caffeination was fast this time. Thanks to you, too. Not sure when the next one will be up, since I'm in the process of moving. I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 11: The Letter

„Are you christened?" I ask Lilly. It's one of the last nice days of fall and we're sitting outside. Lilly has Becky in her arms and looks at me in surprise at my question.

"Yes. Why?"

"I thought about Becky's christening and then I realized I don't even know whether or not you're Christian, but then that's settled," I say satisfied.

"What's settled?" Lilly asks me, looking puzzled.

"That she'll be christened as well," I state the obvious. Lilly wants to say something, but before she has a chance, I go on. "We'll get her a lovely little white dress. She'll look gorgeous in it. And I know the minister here. It will be no problem to get a date. Richard and I are very generous in our contributions to his church. I could even invite him to dinner if you want to get to know him." She still looks as if she wants to object so I add, "Or do you want to get her christened in your hometown?"

"No," she replies quickly.

"Good," I nod. "Then I'll talk to him soon." I look at her and her baby. I remember what Richard said about her parents. "Do you want to invite someone?" I ask her slowly.

"No," she answers quietly. She's looking at Becky and she starts playing with the baby's tiny hands. Lucrezia – my newest maid, horrible name, she should sue her parents – brings us tea. When she's gone, Lilly suddenly looks at me. "So you'll be her godmother?" she asks, a little defiant.

"What?" I ask. This time it's me who's taken by surprise. How could I have forgotten that part of the christening? Of course she needs a godmother.

"Well, she needs one, if you want her to be christened," Lilly explains the obvious. "So in case you haven't decided on someone yet – and I most certainly won't ask anyone from my old life – there's only you. Besides, she already has your name, it would fit," she says, sounding a little accusing at first, but towards the end her tone becomes more forgiving.

I've never been a godmother before. In our generation and society, the aunt or uncle took that job. Richard doesn't have any siblings and Hope doesn't have any children. "I'd love to be her godmother," I answer.

Lilly smiles. "See, you'll have a godmother soon. Mrs. Gilmore will be your godmother, Becky," she coos at the baby, and I can't help but smile as well.

"Mr. Gilmore wants to see you in his study, ma'am," Lucrezia tells me.

"Thank you, Lucrezia." I take one last look at the invitations for our next charity ball before going to his study. When I enter, he hands me some papers. I knew it would be about that private investigator and what he found out about Lilly. For a moment I feel sick. Do I really want to know this? But I know that I want to.

"Don't worry. It's nothing bad," he says, guessing my thoughts.

Relieved, I skim the papers. No criminal record. Thank God. She's from Boston. Single child. Daughter of John and Lydia Kingston. John is the headmaster of a private school and Lydia is … well, his wife. Involved in charity work and functions. She sounds a lot like me – only she isn't in the DAR. Her parents come from Austria. Lilly was in a home for young mothers. It looks like her parents sent her there when she got pregnant. After a few weeks, she ran away. It doesn't seem like they searched for her. How could they not have done that? And why did they send her to such a home in the first place? They seem to be quite wealthy as well. Were they that embarrassed? I mean, I was embarrassed too, but I never even considered sending Lorelai away.

"And?" I ask Richard, looking expectantly at him.

"What do you mean, 'and'?" he shoots back.

"What are you going to do with this?"

"Nothing. I told you, I just needed some information. She seems to come from a good family. The only thing she did – besides getting pregnant - was run away from that home she was sent to. We don't know why she hasn't had any contact with her parents, but that's none of our business."

"And what would've been our business? What did you expect the private eye to find?" I challenge him.

"I didn't expect anything. I just needed to be sure. I know you can't understand that, so let's just leave it. Be grateful my investigator didn't find anything that would have forced us to act. And please, don't start a discussion about what could have been or about me hiring him in the first place," he sighs.

There are still some things I want to say on my tongue, but I swallow them. I'm grateful she can stay. But still, the fact that he would have thrown her out, if the report had contained other information, and the patronizing tone of his words … but it's not worth it. "All right," I finally say. "But can I be sure that this was the last time? No more snooping about her past?"

"Agreed."

While skimming the papers one last time, I notice that she went to her father's school before she got pregnant and was transferred to that home. Then I hand them back to Richard.

That night I lie in bed, thinking about Richard's words. Her relationship to her parents is none of our business. Is that true? If she were my daughter I'd want to know that she was all right. I'd want to know that I had a granddaughter. Sure, I don't know what happened between them, but I don't think that I deserve Lorelai's treatment of us either, so maybe Lydia didn't do anything bad. Maybe they just didn't get along – like Lorelai and me. I can't tell why, because Lilly and I get along great, but then I am not her mother and that simple fact can change a lot.

The christening will be in a few weeks. I don't know how I'd feel if I had missed Rory's. I keep thinking about writing a letter to Lilly's mother. I know that it would be some kind of betrayal towards Lilly, but maybe they'd reconcile and then she'd be grateful. But then, if they really did reconcile, I could lose them. It's a double-edged sword.

I'll be Becky's godmother, so I'd still be in contact with them, no matter where they lived. As her godmother, I wouldn't lose her - well, I shouldn't. I'm Lorelai's mother and I still lost her. It's no guarantee.

If they don't reconcile, Lilly will most likely be mad at me. But where can she go? She has no one besides Richard and me. Sure, she'll be mad, but that will pass, I think. I mean, she has to understand that it's kind of cruel to not even inform her parents that they've become grandparents.

Why did they send her away? It had to be because of embarrassment. It was his school and his daughter got pregnant. God knows what rules he set up there. But why didn't they even look for her? Are they that callous? I went crazy when we couldn't find Lorelai at first. It's bad enough the way it is now, with her and Rory being away from us, but at least I know they're 'safe'. Not knowing where they were – those were the most horrible days of my life.

I drift off to a restless sleep. I dream about a lonely woman who doesn't know where to find her daughter and unknown granddaughter. The woman looks a lot like me. She's sitting in her bedroom and a pregnant Lilly walks away from her. Suddenly, the woman turns around and gives me an accusing look. She points her finger at me.

I wake covered in a cold sweat. This time it's in my hands. I can change it. I can let her mother know she's safe. I could even play peacemaker. Even though I know that it's betraying Lilly, even though I could lose her, I know the right thing to do is to write to her mother. So the next morning I sit down, get out my finest notepaper and pen and begin to write. I start over again several times before I'm satisfied with the result:

Dear Mrs. Kingston,

I know you don't know me and you're probably surprised and curious about the content of this letter.

My name is Emily Gilmore and I found your daughter Lilly at a mall some weeks ago. I took her home with me and she's been living here ever since. A couple of weeks ago she gave birth to her daughter. She's such a cute little baby.

I don't know why you don't have any contact with them, but I felt you should know that they're all right.

Your granddaughter will be christened in two weeks and maybe you'd like to partake in this event.

Lilly doesn't know about this letter, but you're welcome to come and visit her anytime.

Sincerely,

Emily Gilmore

I thought about mentioning Becky's name but decided against it. Lilly should tell her. I was also tempted to include a photo of them, but again, that would be going too far.

I still have doubts when I take the letter to the mailbox, but they vanish when I think about me and Lorelai. I would have been grateful if that Mia woman had sent me such a letter or an open invitation to come and visit them.

The next night, I tell Richard about it.

"How could you do this, Emily?" he demands.

"How could I do this? You started it. Without you, I wouldn't even know their address," I reply.

"But I told you that's none of our business," he says.

"It's not? I would have been grateful to get such a letter. Hell, I still would be. You're the one who brought up her parents, and I agree they have a right to know she's safe. Think of yourself and imagine if we didn't know where Lorelai and Rory were. Do you still think I did the wrong thing?"

He sighs. "Maybe not. But I'm not sure any good will come of this. I mean, they didn't even search for her," he reasons.

He's right. And that's odd. "I had to try, Richard," is all I can say in response. And that's true. It's as simple as that. I had to try. Otherwise it would always have haunted me.

"And I guess telling me after sending it, is also something you had to do," he quibbles.

"Yes. Because I knew it was the right thing to do. Besides, you didn't consult me before hiring that private eye," I quip back. We share a look, before I say, "You either would have talked me out of it or we'd have argued about it. This way I avoided both scenarios," I finish.

"So you wouldn't call this an argument?" he asks.

"No," I reply, just for the sake of disagreeing.

"Then what would you call it?" he asks, enjoying the game.

"A simple exchange of facts," I say, happy that I've found another fitting description.

"Well you're a smart woman," he replies, a mischievous look on his face. The next minute he puts his arm around my waist and pulls me towards him.

"Richard!" I protest. "What's gotten into you all of a sudden?"

"I'm tired of talking about all of this," he states and kisses me.

"But…"

"I said, don't talk," he commands, turning us around so that he hovers over me and kissing me again, this time more passionately. When he's sure I won't start talking again he continues to kiss other parts of my body. As much as this came out of the blue, I'm definitely not complaining. Not at all. And that night, I don't have any nightmares.