Maura walked into the hospital stopping at the front desk to sign in. She stuck the visitor sticker on her shirt as she made her way to room 207 carrying an overnight bag for her sister. She stopped at the door, trying to put on a happy face to mask all of the hurt she was feeling at the moment. It had been a few days since hearing about Jane's engagement. She really didn't know what hurt most, the fact that Jane is getting married or the fact that it was Jane who proposed. It was something about Jane asking that question to anyone but her made her heart ache. After spending that entire night ignoring calls from Tommy and Jane while she cried, she called in sick for the week, knowing she couldn't face Jane at work. Of course the brunette came by Maura's house to check on her but Maura didn't answer the door. After a few days of stopping by Jane stopped coming by because she knew what was hurting her friend, she would have to be blind not to know. Taking a deep breath and exhaling deeply she opened the door, putting on the biggest smile she could foster for her sister.
"Oh thank God you're here. After mom left I was pulling my hair out from boredom. Well at least what's left of it." she laughed, trying to lightened the mood in the room.
Maura chuckled placing the bag by the door before walking over to her sister and hugging her. Feeling how thin Kayleen was in her arms made her sister's situation all the more real to Maura. Her sister was dying and with everything that was happening in her life, she really needed her here.
"Sorry I've haven't been by to visit you but" she sighed deeply, "A lot has been going on." Kayleen waved a pale hand telling Maura not to worry about it and to come take a seat next to her on the bed.
"Tell me all about it because I have nothing but time anyway."
Maura smiled sadly at her sister, as she took a seat on the hospital bed next to her. She held Kayleen's hand, looking down at the IV that was connected to the vein on its surface and began to relay everything that had occurred in the past weeks from Tommy's abuse to Jane getting married. Being able to tell someone how she felt about everything was a great relief for Maura and she felt as if she no longer had to carry around the burden of sadness. She was grateful to her sister for staying quiet and allowing her to talk and express how she felt without judgment. However, Maura held back on how she felt about Jane, she didn't see the point because it was quiet obvious that Jane didn't feel the same way and the thought saddened her tremendously.
As if reading her mind, Kayleen tightened her grasp on Maura's hand and said "Well you should tell her how you feel." Maura looked up surprised but before she could ask how Kayleen knew she continued.
"Maura, I refuse to sit by and watch you punish yourself over some drunken mistake. Jane's getting married it's not like casual dating or having girlfriend. It's marriage, a long term thing, maybe even permanent and your window of opportunity is getting smaller and smaller. You have 6 or 7 months to get your act together and tell her because the more time that passes the harder it will be, for you and her."
Maura slowly stood up and walked over to the window looking out at the view of downtown Boston.
"I can't… I broke her heart, I don't deserve another chance. I lost my chance as her wife the moment I slept with Tommy." She explained a she turned around to face her sister who was fumbling with the wire of her IV.
"Maura… have you ever considered that you might've been raped?"
Maura's eyes widened as she shook her head several times in denial.
"No I wasn't raped…Tommy didn't rape me, he said so himself." Seeing how upset Maura was getting, Kayleen was regretting bringing up the topic but she knew it had to be discussed so she continued to push the subject.
"Yeah and what rapist would admit to doing so? It would explain why you were feeling the way you were and couldn't remember anything. Maura you're a smart girl, a genius in fact, c'mon you haven't considered once the possibility that he slipped something in your drink?"
"No!" Maura yelled. Kayleen was a little taken aback at her outburst but seeing her sister cry told her that although she was saying no, she didn't truly believe it.
"I wasn't raped ok? I had a lot to drink; I was drunk, not drugged." She turned back to the window repeating that she wasn't raped over and over again. It seemed as if she was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince Kayleen. She stood up and walked over to her sister wrapping an arm around her to comfort her but Maura just stepped away from her arms grabbing her purse off the bed.
"I need to go."
I wasn't raped. I wasn't raped. I wasn't raped. She repeated the mantra in her head as she made her way to the door.
"You can avoid it all you want but Maura you were raped. Maybe you should talk to someone, even if it's our mother." Maura didn't turn around and continued to walk away.
"I'll be back when I can."
And without giving Kayleen a chance to convince her to stay she walked out the door.
"Ahh c'mon, catch the damn ball." Jane yelled at the TV screen, disappointed at the dropped ball. She had the day off and all she wanted to do was stay home with her dog and fiancée and watch football. Unfortunately for Jane, her team was losing and Parker had to go into work for some presentation. Joe Friday jumped down from the couch and ran over to the door at the sound of the lock being turned. Jane placed her beer on the coffee table in front of her and walked over to the door to greet her fiancée. Parker quickly closed the door behind her, dropping her art bag on the floor leaning in to kiss Jane.
"Wow, someone's excited" she chuckled, breaking the kiss. Parker nodded her head as she kicked off her heels.
"Yup. You know that big presentation I had to do today? Well there were some high powered curators there and one of them said they loved the work I was doing at the museum and would love to have me at their museum. That means more valuable art work, more money and a higher position." Jane wrapped her arms around Parker's waist, kissing her once again.
"Wow, that's great. Which museum is it?" Jane asked in between kisses.
"The Philadelphia Museum of Art." Parker exclaimed kissing Jane again. However, this time Jane wasn't as receptive.
"The Philadelphia Museum of Art, as in Pennsylvania?"
Parker excitement immediately halted. This was the one thing she dreaded telling the detective.
"Yes, it would require me to move to Pennsylvania."
"And you accepted the position?" Jane walked away from the blonde, obviously upset.
"I told him I would call him." Parker walked over to Jane, grabbing her hand.
"Do you plan on accepting?"
Parker was silent for a while. She hadn't actually thought about whether or not she would say yes if Jane didn't want to go. However this opportunity was too big for her to pass up on.
"Yes…This is a great opportunity for me I just wish you would be happy for me instead of yelling at me"
"I'm not yelling at you." She seethed trying to contain her anger.
"Hey, it's not all bad. It's only 5 hours from here by car, even shorter by train. You won't be far from your family." She tried to reassure Jane but she wouldn't listen.
"Why didn't you talk to me about this first?"Jane yelled
"Because it just happened today. I didn't know the curator for that museum would be there and he asked me."
"When would you start?"
Parker had never seen Jane as angry as she was, she knew Jane would never physically hurt her but she was scared nevertheless. She timidly answered,
"Two weeks." Jane's eyes widened in anger.
"Two weeks! You expect me to just pack up my entire life here in Boston and leave with you in two weeks?" Parker took a seat on the couch as she watched Jane pace back and forth in front of her. She sat silently waiting for her to calm down but she continued to pace until she suddenly stopped.
"I have a life here Parker. My family's here, William's here. I can't leave Maura…for William's sake."
At the mention of Maura she stood up. Hearing Jane finally admit her true reasons, whether intentional or not for not wanting to go made her upset. She shook her head feeling stupid for actually believing Jane when she said she was over Maura.
"Why can't you let her go?"
"Not this again" Jane rolled her eyes, dropping her hands to her sides in frustration. "I don't want Maura. She's not the one I'm marrying, you are."
"Then why won't you leave with me?"
"Because it would be extremely selfish to force William to live so far away from his mother. He needs to be near Maura." She explained, frustrated by Parker's accusations.
"He needs to be near Maura or do you need to?" Jane turned around, confused by her question.
"What are you saying?"
"I've never been insecure of our relationship until you resumed your friendship with Maura again. Just let her go, she has Tommy. Let them have their own life."
For some reason, Parker's request made Jane wince. For some reason, the thought of Maura being in a serious relationship with her brother hurt to think about. She didn't care about their relationship before because she knew Maura didn't really love him.
Jane looked up at Parker, asking her to repeat the question. She had been so lost in her thoughts about Maura and Tommy that she wasn't listening to her at all.
"So which is it?"
"Which is what?"
Parker sighed. She hated being the bad guy, and hated Jane even more for making her look like the awful insecure girlfriend, but if anything, she was this way because of Jane and her attachment to her ex wife. However, she needed to know. If she was going to go through with this marriage, she needed to know.
"Do you want to stay here in Boston so that William can be close to Maura or do you want to say in Boston so that you can be close to Maura?" If Jane confirmed the former or denied the latter, she would believe her and never ask the question again but Jane hesitated and that hesitation was all the answer Parker needed.
"When we started dating we promised each other that if we ever broke up, no matter how much we were hurting, we needed to force ourselves to fight for our friendship because that is what we were first. Parker, Maura is my best friend. I cannot leave her."
Jane didn't know whether or not Parker would call off the engagement, she would be devastated if she did, but she made a promise to Maura long before she ever met Parker, and she needed to keep it.
"I'll go stay with my mother for the night."
She walked over to the closet, slipping on her shoes and grabbing her coat. As she put on her coat and stepped out the door, she looked back solemnly at her fiancée who continued to cry, her eyes pleading with her to stay. As much as she wanted to turn around and kiss away her pain she couldn't. If Parker wanted her, she had to accept all of her, and unfortunately for Parker, that included her best friend, Maura. Taking once last glance back, regret heavy on her heart, she closed the door.
I said I would finish this story before I went back to school which is in about 9 days and I plan to stick to that deadline. I still have close to nine chapters left in this story, so I'll begin to update more frequently. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and review. Another chapter will be up tomorrow, although I'm not sure what time.