Percy on Deck
Chapter 10-Marriage 101
Monday, November 17th, 2014
Percy
The day started weirder than usual. Zack threw up all over the room all night, and Percy had had to bunk with Cody and Woody.
The three went to class and found out that Zack was too sick to come.
Woody trying to impress his crush (Addison) had challenged Percy to an arm wrestling contest. Percy had beat him, and Addison had challenged Woody. Woody had just lost the contest when Tutweiller walked in.
"Hello Class. This week in Social Studies, were going to try something different," said Miss Tutweiller.
"You sit in one of these chairs," asked London, "while we bore you to death?"
Percy grinned at London.
"Wow," said Miss. Tutweiller. "9:02 and I'm already sad." She perked up. "Now this assignment is going to be worth half your grade, but everybody will have a partner."
"I pick Cody!" Everybody, but Percy yelled at once.
"And the two of you will become a married couple." said Miss. Tutweiller.
Percy laughed at everybody's disgusted expression.
"What?" asked Cody, "Nobody wants to marry me?"
"Ah, you get used to it." said Tutweiller.
Everybody sat still for a minute before both Bailey and Cody stood up at the same time as each other. "Will you marry me? Of course I will. You've made me the happiest person in the world." They said at the same time, before hugging.
Percy turned to London. "So London," whispered Percy, "will you marry this son of the sea god?"
London giggled. "Sure, I guess."
They both looked up to see Addison running out of the room with a candy ring on her finger.
"I guess Woody proposed," said Percy.
"Okay class," said Miss. Tutweiller. "Over the next two weeks, you will learn what it's like to be married."
"What to do you know about marriage?" asked London.
"Well…" started Miss. Tutweiller.
"Have you ever been married?" asked London.
"No, but…"
"Has anyone ever proposed to you?"
"I will have you know…"
"When was the last time you were even on a date?"
"Stop it, stop it, Stop it!" yelled Miss Tutweiller, covering her ears, angrilly.
Percy snickered.
Tutweiller composed herself. "I mean, moving on. Now it's a fact that nearly half of US marriages end in divorce. The other half limp along in uncomfortable silence."
When everybody stared at her, she continued. "Well this is because, People often don't realize how hard it is to share a life with another person.
"PFFT!" said London, "My daddy's great at marriage, he's done it fourteen times."
"Okay," said Tutweiller, "Now everyone pick a card out of this bowl to determine your career."
"Astronomer, duh," said Cody.
"Ooh Hand Model." said Bailey.
"Ugh, with those badger claws?" scoffed London.
"London," warned Percy.
"Ah fine."
"Teacher," said Addison, who had returned. "Ugh, who can live on that tiny salary?"
"9:07, and I'm even sadder." commented Miss. Tutweiller.
"Yes, my dream job," said Woody, "hotdog vendor."
"Uh, Canoe Sigtoliob" said Percy, "Ugh, stupid Dyslexia."
"It says Ocean Biologist," said Cody.
"Cool," said Percy.
"Who's Brian Sir-gee-on?" asked London. Percy looked over to see that London had picked.
"It says Brain Surgeon." said Miss. Tutweiller. London nodded. "And even though this is pretend, this makes me nervous."
She tore up the paper. "Why don't you be a housewife?"
"Can I be a mansion wife?
"Sure."
London squealed.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Cody
"Our marriage is going great, Bailey Bunny." said Cody as they walked around in Hawaiian clothing.
"It sure is Cody Kitten," replied Cody.
Zack said something, but Cody ignored him.
The two of them sat down and enjoyed their honeymoon.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014.
Zack
"Hey Miss Tutweiller, sorry I was out sick two days ago," said Zack.
"I heard you were in the infirmary." said Tutweiller.
"Yeah, I ate one of my late night sandwiches, and threw up."
"Yeah, Cody said that Percy had to bunk with him and Woody." said Tutweiller.
Zack grinned. "I don't do things half-way." Then his expression changed. "So what's been going on?"
"Everybody got married."
Zack looked and felt incredulous, "Wow, you miss one day. Even Cody?" he asked.
"Yup, Cailey is happily enjoying their honeymoon."
"Wow," said Zack, "Well I never really liked this whole 'marriage -" he waved his hands in the air - "thing anyway."
"Don't worry Zack, I'll find something for you." said Tutweiller.
"I'd rather you not." said Zack, sitting down.
The bell rang, and everybody rushed in.
Zack looked up, surprised to see everybody dressed up. Addison had a candy ring on every finger. Cody and Bailey were wearing identical flower covered clothes. And Percy was wearing fancy clothes.
"Wow, Percy," said Addison, "you look great."
"Thanks," said Percy, "but you don't look bad yourself." London elbowed him. "Of course, I'm married so I'm off the market. Sorry."
"Yeah, get your own Trophy Husband." said London.
"Trophy Husband?" asked Percy.
"Fine Husband." said London.
"So class, how are all your marriage going?" asked Tutweiller.
Everyone started talking at once, especially Addison.
"No more candy bling for Addison," Tutweiller said to Woody.
Zack snickered.
"Well I am happy to hear that you are all enjoying the honeymoon phase. Unfortunately, that phase doesn't last forever." said Tutweiller.
"Sometimes it does," Cody said staring at Bailey, like a dope.
"Barf," said Zack.
Bailey giggled.
"And sometimes, you realize the person you were in a relationship with isn't who you thought they were." Then her face turned annoyed, "Like sometimes you think that someone's a great guy, and then you find out that his business trips are to visit his girlfriend in pacoima, and another one in Dubuque, and another one in Pittsburgh."
As Tutweiller continued to ramble, the entire class looked stared at her, mouths open.
"I mean, I should have known. What kind of crossing guard takes business trips?"
As the class continued to stare at her, she composed herself. "Anyways, the point is relationships have their ups and downs." she turned to a large object that was covered up with a sheet. "Presenting the wheel of…"
"Please say cheese, please say cheese, please say cheese," said Woody.
"...Life." said Tutweiller.
"Dang it," said Woody.
"Now each couple will spin and adapt their marriage to whatever fate has in store." said Tutweiller. "She giggled, "Who wants to go first."
"Oh, we do, we do!" said London, who was apparently excited for the first time about school.
"Okay, okay," said Tutweiller.
"You go, London," said Percy.
London spun the wheel, which landed on...bankrupt.
"Oh no," said Percy.
"Uh oh," said Tutweiller. "London makes a bad investment, and goes bankrupt. The two of you must now sleep here in the classroom until this project is over. You two are not allowed to return to your cabins either."
"No!" yelled London, fainting.
Percy dragged her away to a chair.
"So who wants to go next." asked Tutweiller cheerfully.
Everyone stared at her in horror.
She shook her head. "Okay then, Woody, Addison, your next."
When the two spun, they got Career change and Woody joined the circus, which was apparently his other dream job.
"Bailey, Cody," your next.
"I'll spin Bailey Bunny," said Cody.
"Okay Cody Kitten." said Bailey.
"Again, barf!" said Zack.
"Family," said Tutweiller. "Congratulations. You have a child." Then her eyes lit up. "Zack, meet your parents."
"Gross," yelled Zack, "My little brother is now my dad."
"Seriously?" asked Cody.
"Yeah, I'm not too thrilled either." said Zack.
Cody
"Daddy," yelled Zack, "The maid won't do what I say."
"Shut up, or when this project is done Cody will find himself an only child."
Cody turned to see London in a maid's outfit glaring at his son/twin brother.
"Daddy, the maid is being mean to me." yelled Zack.
"Suck it up," said Cody, rolling his eyes.
Zack frowned. "Miss Tutweiller said you have to treat me like I'm your son or you'll fail."
Cody knew Zack was trying to get a reaction out of him.
"Exactly," said Cody, "And I'm disciplining you."
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Percy
The day had been really fun for Percy. He spent the whole day talking to sea animals and writing reports on them.
Unfortunately not so much for everyone else.
Bailey had been fired from her job.
Cody had had to stay home to 'take care of Zack'.
London had to be Bailey, Cody, and Zack's maid.
Addison had had to spend the whole day teaching.
The only other person who had fun was Woody who was dressed up as a clown and had performed in the Aqua Lounge.
"Why do you think Miss Tutweiller called us up here?" asked Bailey.
"I think that would be why," said Percy pointing to the right of them.
"Welcome to 'Couples Challenge'." yelled Miss Tutweiller into a microphone. "Contestants, take your seats."
Music played, and the audience clapped. Percy noticed Zack in the front row.
Cailey, Woodison, and Loncy (I couldn't think of anything better) all sat together on different couches.
"Okay, let's get started." said Miss. Tutweiller. "Okay, good marriages are based on partners knowing and understanding each other. So when I ask a question you each will write down your answer, and we'll see how well your answers match your spouse."
London raised her hand.
"Spouse means the person you're married to." said Miss. Tutweiller. "Not a cross between a spider and a mouse."
London nodded.
"The first question is for Cody and Bailey." yelled Miss. Tutweiller. The music played, and Miss Tutweiller ran over to them. "Cody and Bailey, who wears the pants in the family?" Cody stared blankly at Miss. Tutweiller.
"Cody," said Percy, "she meant trousers, not pantaloons."
"I know what she meant," scowled Cody.
Cody and Bailey scribbled stuff down.
"Bailey?" asked Miss Tutweiller.
"I feel we share an even amount of control." said Bailey.
"Okay," said Miss. Tutweiller.
"I said Bailey," said Cody, "she is always hard-working."
"Awe, thanks, Codykins." cawed Bailey.
"Okay, no points for Cody and Bailey. The next question is for Percy and -"
Woody honked his clown horn in Miss. Tutweiller's ears and she stumbled backwards.
Zack, London, Woody, and Addison burst out laughing.
"Okay, The next question is for Percy and London," said Miss Tutweiller retreating back to her stand. The music played. "Percy and London, how many kids would you like to have?"
Percy scribbled down a 2.
"London?" asked Tutweiller.
"2," said London, "so I can say Yay 3 and me!"
"Percy?" asked Tutweiller.
"2," said Percy.
"Very good Percy and London," said Tutweiller, "1 point. Okay next question is for Woody and Addison." The music played again. "Woody and Addison, what is the last book your spouse read?"
Woody and Addison both scribbled down answers.
"Addison?" asked Tutweiller.
"I Dream of Hotdogs by Apollo Sun," said Addison.
"Woody is this true?" asked Tutweiller.
"Yup! And Addison read 'Candy for Dummies by Demeter Ceres'" said Woody.
"Addison is this true?" asked Tutweiller.
"Yes!" said Addison excitedly.
"Back to Cody and Bailey," said Tutweiller. The music played again. "What is the single most important thing in a successful relationship?"
"Trust," said Cody and Bailey at the same time. Both giggled.
"Okay, good job Cailey, and we're all tied up at 1!" The music played again.
"Percy and London, If a relationship is like a cake, you need a cup of sweetness, a tablespoon of respect, and a sprinkle of what?" said Tutweiller.
"Boredom," said Percy, "I cannot take this, I cannot sit still any longer." He picked up a pillow and tossed it at Tutweiller. Unfortunately, his aim was as terrible at throwing pillows as it was at archery, and it spun and hit Bailey.
"Nobody hits Bailey," yelled Cody, picking up a pillow and tossing it at Percy.
Percy ducked and it hit London. London gasped.
"Nobody mess up my outfit," yelled London, smacking Percy with a pillow.
"You go sister, kick him to the curb, who needs husbands?" said Addison smacking Woody.
"Ow, that hurt." said Woody, he picked up a pillow and tossed it at Addison who leaped out of the way and it spiralled across the room, smacked Cody between the eyes and knocked him back into Percy who tripped and smacked Cody with a pillow.
"That looks awesome," yelled Zack, running up on to the stage, picking up a pillow and smacking everybody.
"Oh dear stop," yelled Tutweiller. "Stop, stop." However nobody stopped and feathers flew around the room. "Stop it," she yelled at the top of her lungs. "Anyone who throws another pillow, will get an F for the rest of the semester."
"Eh, I've got nothing to lose." said London. "Bailey!" She threw the pillow at Bailey who ducked, and it smacked Tutweiller straight in the face.
Tutweiller screamed in rage, and leaped at London with the pillow, who shrieked and ran.
Friday, November 21, 2014
Cody
"So the couples' challenge, didn't go exactly as expected. But I hope you all learned something." said Tutweiller.
"I think we learned that marriage isn't easy," said Woody.
"I learned that being an only child is easier than having a twin." said Zack.
Cody scowled and tossed a pencil at Zack, who dodged it.
"And I learned that when I have kids, that I need to have kids who aren't whiny annoying brats," retorted Cody.
"Whatever," said Zack.
AN: Hope You liked it, see you next week, for Chapter 11: Winter Break.
~TheHeroesUnited