A/N So this is a short chapter, but I'm trying to get this moving again. I apologise for my fail updating. I should be smacked with an inflatable banana or something of that ilk. But I am trying and so that almost counts.

Chapter 11: The Start

Olivia

In all honesty, before her I had never even considered the possibility of being with a woman. The thought never crossed my mind.

As such my fantasies about Casey, if you can call them that, never extended to the bedroom. If anything they were stray thoughts, scattered feelings. Quickly cauterised and shut down before they flew out of control.

Given that, I was anxious that if we slept together, it would be a clumsy cagey affair. I'd have no idea what to do and Casey would reluctantly play teacher, and the moment would somehow be spoiled.

But it was nothing like that.

It was wonderful.

The word affair brings to mind certain words, certain assumptions. It draws images of lust, of hurried carnal fucking, loveless friction, shady encounters in hotel rooms and cars.

But what we did that night was as far from that as I can imagine.

We kissed slowly, tenderly, and the rest of the world seemed to disappear. We undressed each other bit by bit, taking time to explore each new revealed piece of skin with near reverence. And when we finally sought more, crossed the line from fooling around to actual lovemaking, we did so with the lights on. Greedily taking in every sensation. Sight, sound, taste, smell and touch. I guided myself by her moans of pleasure as I found all of her weak spots and she found mine, and when we were finally exhausted though not sated, I'm not sure I could ever get enough of her, we collapsed entangled, asleep in one anothers arms.

It was our first time together, the first time we'd shared more than a hesitant kiss, but in that moment, I had never felt closer to anyone else.

I didn't want it to end.

Of course nothing is ever that simple, and morning swept in along with reality.

The first thing Casey noticed upon waking was the sun yawning through the gaps in the blinds, narrow orange slots of light illuminating the otherwise dusky room.

The second thing she noticed, was a warm, naked body curled around her, and soft sleeping breaths tickling her neck.

She closed her eyes, and shut off her mind to anything but the sensation of peace.

Morning and all its responsibilities could wait.

Morning usually came with a jolt for Olivia. An insistently trilling cell, a claxon like alarm, a colleague rattling the door off its hinges.

For the first time in years though, Olivia awoke naturally, stirring slowly, eyes heavy with sleep, but rested.

And Casey in her arms.

That was also a first.

The sight should have shocked her, knocked her from her sleepy stupor. But it didn't.

Instead she pressed a trail of kisses up Casey's neck, feeling her stir and wriggle against her. Olivia didn't want to break the spell if she didn't have to. Life would no doubt do that in due time, and she was in no hurry.

"Casey, honey, wake up," she whispered when she reached the other woman's ear.

"Ugh, what time is it?" Casey mumbled. Olivia hadn't even thought to look. She glanced at the clock. The stark red LEDs read eight fourteen.

"Just after eight," Olivia said, "but it's Saturday, I've got nowhere to be."

Casey squirmed herself out of Olivia's arms, but only far enough to turn over. They lay face to face, nothing between them but inches of air.

"Liv, I never meant to…"

Olivia quickly hushed her with a lingering kiss. When they broke apart, Olivia whispered,

"I don't regret what we did."

Casey's lips twitched. A smile, or something like it, "me neither."

"Lets just enjoy this morning," Olivia said, pulling Casey close again. The other woman offered up no resistance, "god knows someone will interrupt before long."

Morning proceeded as per Olivia's wish, both women continued to suspend disbelief, maintaining the beautiful facade.

Casey

I still remember that stolen morning like it was yesterday.

In terms of activity, it was nothing out of the ordinary, we had a lazy Saturday morning, fumbled together some semblance of breakfast, and just sprawled on my bed talking about everything and nothing at the same time.

The question of "what now" and "what next" were forgotten and for just a few hours we each had a glimpse of what our futures could have held, had things been different.

I remember when I was twenty one and my grandfather was not long for this world. He sat in his arm chair, next to my grandma as always, who was sleeping off thanksgiving dinner. For reasons I can't recall the a question sprung into my head, and I asked it: Is there anything you wish you had done?

He laughed a little, and then told me, "when you get to my age, you try not to have too many regrets. And mine boil down to just one..." he glanced across and my grandma, still snoring blissfully, and sighed, "I wish I had met her sooner..."

I always hoped that I'd feel that way about someone one day, and that they'd reciprocate with equal ardor. That looking at the end of a lifetime together, a shared journey, the only regret we'd harbour was that we didn't start it sooner. I never thought the regret I'd carry with me most of my adult life would be "I wish I'd met her first..."