A/N hmmm in case anyone is wondering why Draco didn't witness the last
scene it's because I have another scene in mind which will be all that much
more powerful, although I must admit I was tempted. This chapter was
supposed to go a different way but by the time I was ¾ ways through it a
dementor showed up and hung out over my shoulder so I'm sorry Harry but I
always make you suffer when that happens. Hmmm a beta reader to correct my
grammer, now that would be lovely. I'll be in touch.
Sneak peak next chapter: Quidditch match accident
Chapter 11 - numb
"Thought you might like this for tonight." Snape handed Draco a vial of dreamless sleep potion. The boy looked tired, worn, and much older than his scant 16 years. "You are safe here. Lucius can't get in."
Draco took it, glancing at him then away.
It was obvious the boy was rather embarrassed around him. Snape quietly said. "It's ok."
Draco gave a soft smile, staring distractedly at his feet. He added wryly. "I wish, I wish he was different."
"I know but you have to accept he will not change, he's in too deep and he derives too much pleasure from hurting others and from killing. Your only purpose in his life was to add pride to the Malfoy name and instead of seeing your accomplishment, he only wanted to see you at the very top, nothing else was worth anything to him." Snape spoke quietly, he didn't want to drop further pain on Draco but he also didn't want to coddle him and make him believe that someday Lucius would miraculously become the father he so desperately wanted.
Draco's gaze fell to the floor. "I know, I've known for a long time, I just kept hoping." He looked at the vial in his hand. "Thanks for this, I doubt I would have actually slept tonight."
Snape nodded as the blond boy walked slowly down the hallway.
The next morning, Harry woke up disoriented. For a split second of panic he thought he was in Snape's office, then realized that had happened days ago and he was safely in his own bed.
"Hey Harry, do want to practice Quidditch today?" Ron then looked at him closely. "Are you ok, you're all flushed?"
Harry did feel rather warm and he had a slight headache. He decided his jaunts out into the cold air must have given him a touch of flu. He got up feeling a bit lightheaded. "I think I might be coming down with the flu."
"Maybe you should go see Madam Pomfrey? She'll probably have something for that."
Harry shook his head; it's not that bad. The boys got ready and met Hermione and the rest of the Gryffindors at the breakfast table. Harry drank down a large glass of orange juice hoping it would help him feel better. He glanced over to the Slytherin table and noticed that Malfoy was missing. Probably slept in after taking the dreamless sleep potion last night.
It was a beautifully sunny day and Harry's spirits lifted while he and Ron flew around the field outmaneuvering each other with their broom skills. When they touched down Hermione was there to greet them with a big smile. "Well done, I can't see any other team beating Gryffindor this year."
They started walking back when suddenly Harry found himself face first in the grass. "Harry!" Hermione ran over to him.
Harry shook himself laughing; "I'm ok just tripped on a rock I guess."
"Potter! Falling for the mudblood are you?" Came Draco's malicious voice.
Once again Harry had to fight back the urge to humiliate Malfoy. He stood up glaring at Malfoy, who arrogantly stood there smirking at the three of them. Ron, who's temper snapped dove at Malfoy his fist connecting to Malfoy's jaw. "Don't ever call Hermione that again." He raised his fist but both Harry and Hermione pulled him up off of Malfoy.
Malfoy got up, his hand to his jaw. "I will call her whatever I want to." His hand went to his wand.
"10 points off Gryffindor for Mr. Weasley's behavior." Snape's silky voice came from near the lake. He emerged from a grove of trees to Harry's right. Anger boiled up in Harry again. Malfoy grinned widely. "And 10 points off Slytherin for Mr. Malfoy's behavior. Now I suggest you all return to your respective houses before I start meting out detentions!" The grin disappeared off Malfoy's face like a whisp of smoke. Angrily he put away his wand and with black cloak swirling turned heel. The three Gryffindors all looked at Snape with immense shock. In the past 5 years he had never taken points off of his own house, no matter how bad the Slytherin's behaved.
With a raised eyebrow Snape softly snarled. "Do Gryffindors need hearing aids? I wasn't speaking to the shrubs over there, what part of get inside do you three not understand?"
They quickly hurried inside. "Can you believe it! He took points off his own house and Malfoy no less!" Ron said with an extremely pleased grin.
They walked up the stairs when suddenly Harry stumbled and would have hit the stairs had not Ron quickly reached out and grabbed his arm. "Hey mate, lift your feet." He teased.
Harry shook his head, he wasn't usually so clumsy. "I must have stubbed my toe."
"Are you all right Harry? You look a bit flushed." Hermione reached out to feel Harry's forehead but he pulled away.
He coldly responded "I'm fine."
"We're just worried about you." Ron stated letting go of his arm.
"Well stop it, poor Harry is just fine, I don't know how many times I have to tell you two to stop fussing over me. When I really need you, you're not there!" He yelled angrily.
They both looked shocked. "We're always here for you."
Harry looked at him with hurt in his eyes "Really, always? What about when you thought I had put my name in the goblet of fire? I don't remember you being there for me when just about everyone outside of gryffindor turned on me, thinking I had cheated, thinking I wanted nothing but attention!"
He turned his gaze to Hermione. "And you always doubting me and telling me what to do till I was so confused I didn't know what I was doing."
Hermione said in a soft tear filled voice. "We put out lives on the line right there with you a couple of months ago to try and save Sirius." She blinked rapidly. "It's not our fault that he died."
Harry was breathing hard and still glared at Hermione. "No, it's mine all mine."
"That's not how I meant it." Hermione turned away from him and went upstairs.
Ron angrily looked at Harry. Harry lashed out again. "Go ahead, you want to punch me like you did Malfoy?"
Ron just shook his head at him, "What is the matter with you!" He turned and also went upstairs.
Harry not wanting to follow went back down the stairs. His head ached. That feeling of being separated from everyone else choked him. He went outside again even though it had clouded over and the temperature had dropped. He went down to the lake, behind the shrubs and sat there. What he wouldn't give right now to have Sirius sitting beside him, even for just a few minutes to be able to hug him and tell him that he was sorry for all the mistakes he had made, for all the things he had done that resulted in his death. And that he hadn't meant too, he'd only wanted to help him.
He remembered Sirius with his wasted face. Sirius at Christmas giving him a one armed hug and telling him 'to be careful'. Tears streamed down Harry's face as the memories came flooding back. He pulled his knees close and dropped his head down. He couldn't stop shaking as the tears kept falling and the overwhelming black hole of grief threatened to pull him into the void. When finally the tears stopped flowing and a sick feeling washed over him, he got up and headed down to the dungeons. He just wanted to be numb.
Chapter 11 - numb
"Thought you might like this for tonight." Snape handed Draco a vial of dreamless sleep potion. The boy looked tired, worn, and much older than his scant 16 years. "You are safe here. Lucius can't get in."
Draco took it, glancing at him then away.
It was obvious the boy was rather embarrassed around him. Snape quietly said. "It's ok."
Draco gave a soft smile, staring distractedly at his feet. He added wryly. "I wish, I wish he was different."
"I know but you have to accept he will not change, he's in too deep and he derives too much pleasure from hurting others and from killing. Your only purpose in his life was to add pride to the Malfoy name and instead of seeing your accomplishment, he only wanted to see you at the very top, nothing else was worth anything to him." Snape spoke quietly, he didn't want to drop further pain on Draco but he also didn't want to coddle him and make him believe that someday Lucius would miraculously become the father he so desperately wanted.
Draco's gaze fell to the floor. "I know, I've known for a long time, I just kept hoping." He looked at the vial in his hand. "Thanks for this, I doubt I would have actually slept tonight."
Snape nodded as the blond boy walked slowly down the hallway.
The next morning, Harry woke up disoriented. For a split second of panic he thought he was in Snape's office, then realized that had happened days ago and he was safely in his own bed.
"Hey Harry, do want to practice Quidditch today?" Ron then looked at him closely. "Are you ok, you're all flushed?"
Harry did feel rather warm and he had a slight headache. He decided his jaunts out into the cold air must have given him a touch of flu. He got up feeling a bit lightheaded. "I think I might be coming down with the flu."
"Maybe you should go see Madam Pomfrey? She'll probably have something for that."
Harry shook his head; it's not that bad. The boys got ready and met Hermione and the rest of the Gryffindors at the breakfast table. Harry drank down a large glass of orange juice hoping it would help him feel better. He glanced over to the Slytherin table and noticed that Malfoy was missing. Probably slept in after taking the dreamless sleep potion last night.
It was a beautifully sunny day and Harry's spirits lifted while he and Ron flew around the field outmaneuvering each other with their broom skills. When they touched down Hermione was there to greet them with a big smile. "Well done, I can't see any other team beating Gryffindor this year."
They started walking back when suddenly Harry found himself face first in the grass. "Harry!" Hermione ran over to him.
Harry shook himself laughing; "I'm ok just tripped on a rock I guess."
"Potter! Falling for the mudblood are you?" Came Draco's malicious voice.
Once again Harry had to fight back the urge to humiliate Malfoy. He stood up glaring at Malfoy, who arrogantly stood there smirking at the three of them. Ron, who's temper snapped dove at Malfoy his fist connecting to Malfoy's jaw. "Don't ever call Hermione that again." He raised his fist but both Harry and Hermione pulled him up off of Malfoy.
Malfoy got up, his hand to his jaw. "I will call her whatever I want to." His hand went to his wand.
"10 points off Gryffindor for Mr. Weasley's behavior." Snape's silky voice came from near the lake. He emerged from a grove of trees to Harry's right. Anger boiled up in Harry again. Malfoy grinned widely. "And 10 points off Slytherin for Mr. Malfoy's behavior. Now I suggest you all return to your respective houses before I start meting out detentions!" The grin disappeared off Malfoy's face like a whisp of smoke. Angrily he put away his wand and with black cloak swirling turned heel. The three Gryffindors all looked at Snape with immense shock. In the past 5 years he had never taken points off of his own house, no matter how bad the Slytherin's behaved.
With a raised eyebrow Snape softly snarled. "Do Gryffindors need hearing aids? I wasn't speaking to the shrubs over there, what part of get inside do you three not understand?"
They quickly hurried inside. "Can you believe it! He took points off his own house and Malfoy no less!" Ron said with an extremely pleased grin.
They walked up the stairs when suddenly Harry stumbled and would have hit the stairs had not Ron quickly reached out and grabbed his arm. "Hey mate, lift your feet." He teased.
Harry shook his head, he wasn't usually so clumsy. "I must have stubbed my toe."
"Are you all right Harry? You look a bit flushed." Hermione reached out to feel Harry's forehead but he pulled away.
He coldly responded "I'm fine."
"We're just worried about you." Ron stated letting go of his arm.
"Well stop it, poor Harry is just fine, I don't know how many times I have to tell you two to stop fussing over me. When I really need you, you're not there!" He yelled angrily.
They both looked shocked. "We're always here for you."
Harry looked at him with hurt in his eyes "Really, always? What about when you thought I had put my name in the goblet of fire? I don't remember you being there for me when just about everyone outside of gryffindor turned on me, thinking I had cheated, thinking I wanted nothing but attention!"
He turned his gaze to Hermione. "And you always doubting me and telling me what to do till I was so confused I didn't know what I was doing."
Hermione said in a soft tear filled voice. "We put out lives on the line right there with you a couple of months ago to try and save Sirius." She blinked rapidly. "It's not our fault that he died."
Harry was breathing hard and still glared at Hermione. "No, it's mine all mine."
"That's not how I meant it." Hermione turned away from him and went upstairs.
Ron angrily looked at Harry. Harry lashed out again. "Go ahead, you want to punch me like you did Malfoy?"
Ron just shook his head at him, "What is the matter with you!" He turned and also went upstairs.
Harry not wanting to follow went back down the stairs. His head ached. That feeling of being separated from everyone else choked him. He went outside again even though it had clouded over and the temperature had dropped. He went down to the lake, behind the shrubs and sat there. What he wouldn't give right now to have Sirius sitting beside him, even for just a few minutes to be able to hug him and tell him that he was sorry for all the mistakes he had made, for all the things he had done that resulted in his death. And that he hadn't meant too, he'd only wanted to help him.
He remembered Sirius with his wasted face. Sirius at Christmas giving him a one armed hug and telling him 'to be careful'. Tears streamed down Harry's face as the memories came flooding back. He pulled his knees close and dropped his head down. He couldn't stop shaking as the tears kept falling and the overwhelming black hole of grief threatened to pull him into the void. When finally the tears stopped flowing and a sick feeling washed over him, he got up and headed down to the dungeons. He just wanted to be numb.