A Stroke of Unwanted Luck

Nathan never really thought or even cared about death. Not one for contemplating what would happen when his heart would finally give out for whatever reason. Or when that one stray round would eventually hit its target and end him in an instant. All he did know and essentially believe was that when it came time, he would not fight it. He would allow himself to go wherever it was he was meant to go.

If that meant hell. So be it.

If it meant going up to the heavens with the Gods. So be it.

If nothing really happened. So be it.

CRACK…!

Nathan slowly opened his eyes, only to find he was still in his home. He lifted his hand to the other side of his head to find it was still intact, followed by looking at the M1911 itself. He raised an eyebrow, brow furrowed at why it didn't go off. He pulled the hammer back, only to see the primer was dented. He then pulled back the slide, only to see the round still there.

Huh… must have been a misfire… He thought as he stared at the weapon for what seemed like hours. His mind slowly reeling what happened. Now? Of all the times, you decide to misfire and not do the job…? The former Marine only sighed heavily causing him to pull the slide back just enough for the faulty round to be ejected. The piece of loaded brass landing on the floor beside him and roll just out of his reach. He looked at it and simply sighed again, not being bothered to pick it up, followed by placing the gun back down onto the table and plucked the cigar from the ash tray.

He took a long drag, embracing the flavor before blowing out the smoke. He rested his cheek on the hand that held the cigar and bore his teal eyes at the M1911.

"Fucking piece of shit…" He mumbled to himself before taking another drag. Then he heard the sound of a door opening, soon followed by the familiar and innocent voice of Olivia,

"I'm home!" instantly Nathan shot up from his chair and grabbed the pistol and shoved it beneath a pillow that rested on the couch. Just as he had finish doing so, he stood as though he was stretching, cigar still in mouth. "Hey, you just wake up or… something…" Slowly her words died as Olivia looked at Nathan, who in turn did the same.

He grabbed the cigar and raised it into the air. All the while blowing the smoke from his now smiling lips and said,
"Good evening." Olivia only stared with widened eyes before becoming like that of daggers. She stalked her way up to him, doing her best to look intimidating, but failed miserably. This evident by the smile on Nathan's face becoming wider.

"You said you'd smoke outside." She finally said, her eyes looking up into his, arms crossed.

"Indeed, I did. However, I never specified if it was when you were home or not." Olivia went to speak but stopped, her words catching in her throat.

Then after a few moments only gave a pouting growl as she threw her arms into the air.
"Ugh, fine. But, I am home now. So, outside!" She proclaimed, finger pointing to the door with a smile. Nathan only stared at her before taking a long drag and held it in. Then, he lowered his face to hers, noses just barely touching as he let out the smoke.

"Would you look at that? I'm done with this cigar." He leaned back, a cocky smile wide across his face. All the while Olivia only stared at him dumbfounded. Nathan gently patted her head before walking to the ashtray and emptied it in the rubbish bin. "So, what did you and Eva do today?" He asked, but instead of being answered by words, he was suddenly attacked! Someone jumping onto his back!

"Counter attack!" They screamed into his ear. That of Olivia.

"What the hell?!" Nathan cried, trying to turn and see her but failed as she stayed latched onto him.

"Die, scum!" She yelled as she began tickling him, but it had no effect. However, Nathan couldn't help but smile at the action. And soon a feeling of playfulness rose within him.

"Oh, yeah?" He reached back, arms grasping her sides and began doing the same to her. "Take that!" He yelled, all the while Olivia began to laugh.

"No!" She said, trying to back away from his attacking fingers, while also still staying on his back.

"Ha! Didn't expect that, did you?" He proclaimed as he moved one hand to one of her feet that was wrapped around his stomach. And in one swift motion, he yanked her around and brought her to the front of him before catching her in his arms. Now holding her by the sides, he swiftly placed her down onto the couch and continued his laughter ensuing assault.

"No!" Olivia squeaked. "No, fair! That's cheating!" Nathan let out a triumphant laugh.

"All's fair in love and war, dear Olivia!" He stated while moving his tickling fingers all along her body. Olivia continued to kick and squirm, trying her hardest to break free or counter his attacks; but could do no such thing.

"I yield! I yield!" She finally submitted, causing Nathan to cease his assault upon her. Olivia now laid upon the couch giggling every so often while tried to catch her breath. Nathan smirked at the image before he sat next to her. Once she had finally caught her breath, she sat up fully, smile still wide.

"So, as I was trying to ask before being rudely attacked," Nathan began while ruffling Olivia's hair. "How was your day with Eva?" The Kobold in question only giggled at the action before answering,

"It went pretty well. After we got done for the day at the fitness center we went out and looked around. We actually stopped by an Italian restaurant. After that we just went around enjoying the day and meeting new people." Nathan nodded to the words, listening as he sat on the couch. But all the while glancing at the pillow that Olivia was sitting right next to.

"Well, I'm glad you had a good day." He said before sitting in a more relaxed manner.

"What about you? Your day go all right?" Nathan looked at Olivia, her big grey eyes and large smile gazing deeply at him. And soon memories of what had happened the past day began to replay.

From the horrible nightmare of the first non-human he had killed, to the disgustingly long hour it took to plan Eleanor's funeral. How whatever it was claiming to be Eleanor, proceeded to torture him psychologically. Destroying what was still of his psyche.

And yet, when Nathan looked at her wide smile and big grey innocent filled eyes, for some reason he cannot place, he felt all the negativity leave his body. His body became at peace. Not the type that came from the nicotine of the cigars or the large amount of alcohol that only gave temporary release. No, this was genuine. The type of peace that… that she brought him.

The same type of peace that Eleanor would give me. Nathan thought to himself, casing his smile to falter for a moment. The thought striking him as odd and he immediately disregarded it. Forcing it to leave his mind.

He smiled at the young Kobold, one of genuine happiness now as he ruffled her hair again, causing her to giggle while saying,
"Aye. I did."

"I can believe it considering the fact I can easily smell the amount of alcohol you have on your breath and cigars you smoked." Nathan simply shrug, smile still intact.

"Man's gotta live somehow while on forced medical leave for a fucked up mind." The words left his mouth before he could filter them and he instantly regretted it. As Olivia now look at him with confusion, trying to decipher his words. But before he gave her a chance to ask the meaning, he quickly stood up stretching in the process.

"Anyway, I'm probably going to head to bed. The alcohol is starting to get to me." Olivia giggled again before leaning back into the cushions with a nod.

He returned and began making his way to the stairs, but just as he was about to reach the first step, he stopped. He looked back to her, watching her large ears twitched every so often.

The same type of peace that Eleanor would give me… The thought replayed in Nathan's mind. Mulling the words over again as he thought to why he would think such a thing.

Then, without thinking, he began walking back to the couch. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the heavy amount of nicotine. Maybe it was the yearning he felt to feel Eleanor in his arms one last time. Maybe it was his damaged psyche trying to find some way to repair itself. Maybe the fact he had almost killed himself and failed just by the slightest of chance put courage into his mind. Maybe it was two or three or all of these things. He didn't know, and of now he didn't care.

Olivia sat on her phone, the softness of the cushions comforting her body as she scrolled through Facebook; smirking and giggling at whatever caught her eyes. She heard the footsteps approach and guessed that maybe Nathan had forgotten something. But large arms wrapped around her, accompanied by a kiss to the head and the softest of whispers say to her,

"Welcome back, home." She froze like a deer in the headlights. Her eyes wide, ears flexed to the alert and tail halting movement. Then, just as he was there, he was gone. The sound of his footsteps getting further away before finally hearing his room door open and close.

Olivia sat there for what felt like hours before she finally allowed herself to move. Her mind finally comprehending what just happened. And even then, she still didn't know how to react to the past action. And yet, for a reason she could not place, she couldn't help but feel good about the sudden interaction that occurred. She enjoyed the feeling that Nathan's arms and lips gave her. Sending little currents of electricity throughout her body.

It wasn't until she shifted in her seat that she took notice to the sound of something metallic beside her. She looked, the sound taking her mind off the current thoughts as she moved the pillow only to find an M1911. Confusion filled her grey orbs as she carefully picked it up and examined it, albeit in a very hesitant and ginger manner. The feeling she just had slowly left her, and instead replaced with one of foreboding. She had sat on this couch many times, and she surely would have noticed the sound of a something like this being moved from the movement.

Then, a thought crossed her mind:
Why would this be down here now? She looked to the chair that Nathan had previously been sitting in, taking note of the one that had to be pushed back in. And it was where the ash tray had been when Nathan had been smoking. It was then she took notice to something, a small piece of shining metal in the light.

She reached out and picked it up, examining the newly found a round. More specifically, a pistol round. Olivia rolled it around in her hand before looking back at the pistol in the other. Slowly, her ears began to press back against her skull. Her tail slowed to a standstill again. Her eyes widened. She turned her head towards her Ward's door as a thought crossed her mind once more,

Was he… Did he try to…? She didn't finish the question. Instead she quickly placed the pistol back behind the pillow and sat back down. Hands now combing through her hair while trying to comprehend the situation. He wouldn't have… would he? Worry began to fill Olivia to her core, soon followed by fear. No. No, I'm just overthinking it… right? Right?! Then, his words replayed in her head: Man's gotta live somehow while on forced medical leave for a fucked up mind. Olivia began to shake, thinking of what the final words meant.

She looked back towards his door, not knowing what to do or even think. She was genuinely scared now. Did he try… or thought of killing herself while I was gone? She then thought back to where Nathan was standing, essentially right next to the same pillow she found the pistol. Did he put it there in an attempt to hide it from her when he heard her come home? She didn't know. And it scared her.

She then thought back to what he had just done. The hug, the kiss and the words he spoke. What was the meaning of that? The feeling of worry and fear only became even more amplified as she tried to gain a better grasp on the situation.

Then, without thinking, she tossed the pistol onto the couch and found herself rushing up the stairs to Nathan's door. Just as she was about to knock, she stopped her fist midair. Regaining control of her senses and body.

What am I doing? I'm acting hysterical now. What? I'm just going to possibly wake Nathan and look him dead in the eye and ask "did you just try to kill yourself?" I'll come off nuts… and yet… She stared at the door before looking at the round still in hand. She closed her hand around it tightly, to the point her claws dug into her skin and caused a hint of bleeding.

I'm not… I'm not going to lose anyone else! She gently knocked, and after a moment of movement, the door open. A tired looking Nathan staring at her with squinting eyes at the sudden brightness.

He had stripped down to just his short like usual. His two chest tattoos and multiple scars that littered his body easily visible at this short distance.

He looked around, eyes adjusting to the light before looking down at young Olivia. Who now had lost more confidence of her confidence than she'd like to admit, as she stared down at the floor in a timid fashion.

"You okay?" Nathan asked, his voice now sounding heavily tired compared to what must have just been a few minutes ago. Olivia glanced up at him before giving a light nod. "Okay? You sure?" She didn't move, instead she kept her eyes locked on the floor. Hands still tightly wrapped around the round being held by her. "Hey, Olivia? If something's wrong, you can tell me." His voice now sounded a bit more awake as that of care filled it.

She looked up at him, big grey eyes gazing into his own teal. After a few more moments, she said nervously,
"A-are you feeling okay… Nathan?" The man only raised eyebrow, confusion filling his eyes now.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" He said with a small smile. But Olivia only looked away, her eyes constantly shifting from the floor up to him. He could only feel a bit of grief rise within him at the action. "Hey, look at me, Liv." The new name caused her ears to twitch, which Nathan chuckled inwardly at, before she did as asked.

He opened the door completely and took a step towards her. Then he placed his hand gently upon her head and with a wide smile, eyes closed, he said.
"Don't worry about me, okay?" He reopened his eyes, teal orbs gazing into hers. A look of sincerity within them. "You just focus on living life to the fullest. Living it how you see fit. Understand?" The young Kobold could only gaze with wide eyes before she said,

"Y-you just seemed… different was all… with the hug and everything…" Her voice slowly died down at the end of her statement. Becoming that of a whisper that Nathan could barely make out as her gaze returned to the floor.

He gently ruffled her hair causing her while letting out a laugh.
"Don't worry there, Liv." She shifted her eyes back up to him. The nickname catching her attention. "I'm good to go." He gave a thumbs up with a wink.

But Olivia didn't respond, instead only stared. Suddenly, she hugged him. Arms wrapping tightly around his torso causing Nathan to jump just a bit at the sudden action.
"You promise?" She asked, catching him off guard once again.

Nathan only stared down at her, trying to form words. But it was then he heard another voice. One that filled him with dread.

"Yeah, Nate? Ya promise to stay by the little mutt and put a round in your head?" Nathan's eyes shifted towards his left, seeing that of Eleanor, now looking even more horrific. Her body seeming to have decomposed more. Fear slowly beginning to rise within him. "Ya think you're gonna be able to continue to endure it, Nathan? Think luck will save ya again next time?" She asked, referring back to the misfire. "Oh, Gods I was so excited seeing you place that barrel against your skull! I was routing for y, Nathan. I truly was." She proclaimed, raising her fist in the air excitedly. "But then, when ya pulled the trigger and nothing happened, I couldn't help but feel let down." A pout now visible upon Eleanor's features. "You don't know how badly I wanted to watch the blood drain from that thick skull of yours and pool onto the floor." Then, she smiled. One of sadistic and sick intentions, causing the fear within Nathan to become stronger. "Then I realized. Because you're still alive," Suddenly, she was gone, before a pair of arms wrapped themselves around his throat just barely cutting off Nathan's windpipe. He tried to take in breath, but no longer could. Panic soon replaced the fear. "It means I can continue to make your life hell." She whispered into his ear before giggling with sick glee. "Oh! Just think of it, Nathan! What fun we'll have together!" And for a brief moment, Nathan did. This causing the panic that filled Nathan to overtake him, along with the lack of oxygen now cut from his lungs. But he couldn't react, not with Olivia here.

It was then the young Kobold spoke, but he didn't pay attention. All of his focus trying to keep him remain calm. "Oh, how rude of me. Guess ya can't talk to the little mutt with me cuttin' off your oxygen, huh?" She released her grip from his throat, causing Nathan to take in large breaths, but doing so quietly enough so that he didn't attract Olivia's attention. "Try to enjoy what little bit of life you have left, Nate." The ex-assassin just barely looked in Eleanor's direction, but he could easily see the sadistic smile she wore. "Because I promise, the next time you see me, I'll make sure you go through with it. Misfire or not." Then, she was gone. No trace of her remaining just like all the times before.

Nathan didn't move, the words echoing throughout his mind. And it wasn't until he heard Olivia speak again, that he snapped himself from his panic induced stupor. Now back to his senses, carefully brought his hands to her cheeks, gently caressing. This made her look up at him, eyes filed with fear.

"Like I said, Olivia. Don't worry about me, okay?"

"B-but-." He raised a finger.

"Ah. Ah. No 'buts' Focus on making sure that you're doing all right. Understand?" She only nodded solemnly. A look of uncertainty in her eyes. "Good." Then, he hugged her back. His large arms easily engulfing her, which she gladly embraced. Her own arms now hugging him back twice as tightly from before. After the two released each other, Nathan gave a smile to the young Kobold. Who returned it, even if she easily still had a bit of worry in her eyes.

"I'm going to head back to bed. Like always, if you need anything. Just come get me." She nodded again, the look in her eyes only becoming stronger. This halted him from closing the door, instead he stood still staring.

Fuck… that look. The ex-assassin tried to think of something to else to say, but failed. It wasn't until that Olivia spoke again, the he paid attention.

"Nathan… C-could I…" She stopped, her question going unfinished.

"What?" Nathan asked, eyebrow raised. But she only shook her head.

"I-it's not important. It was a stupid thought to be honest." Nathan wanted to push. To learn what she was going to ask him, but he decided against it. Besides, he wasn't really in the right as of now, considering the fact he dodged the promise she asked him to make if he was all right… which he wasn't. But, he meant it when he did not want her to worry.

"Very well." He said before gently patting her on the head one last time. Then, without another word he closed the door behind him; leaving young Olivia alone.

She stood there for a few moments, trying to grasp the situation before letting out a frustrated sigh. She began making her way back downstairs, the feeling of dread retaking her being. It was when she got back to the couch, the M1911 laying just where she left it, that a new feeling took over her. Anger. Rage.

She clenched her hand tightly, nails causing blood to seep from her skin a second time. Round still being clasped in her grasp. She hated how that just went. She was still scared for Nathan. And she didn't know what to do.

Then, an idea came to her mind. She looked at the pistol. It's metallic body laying against the soft cushions. With her teeth grit and bared, she grasped it from its place and rushed upstairs into her room. Then, without thinking, she threw it into one of the drawers of her dresser, along with the round. Finally getting rid of it from her hand. She didn't care if he asked for it later. She didn't care if he became angry. She was making sure he didn't try anything.

She wasn't going to lose anyone.

Not ever again.

As she did this, inside his room, Nathan sat upon his bed. Hands in his face.

Try to enjoy what little bit of life you have left, Nate. Because I promise, the next time you see me, I'll make sure you go through with it. Misfire or not. These words continued to play in the ex-assassin's mind. Trying to process what had been said to him. He couldn't tell if it was just a bluff, or if she actually meant it. All he did know was that deep down, it scared him to his core.

"Fuck…" He muttered, hands rubbing his face in a tired fashion. "What am I going to do?" But he already knew the answer. Deep down, he knew.

He was going to die.

Either by his own hand or by that of Eleanor…