Thanks for all the reviews guys I love reading them. Also a moment between Erin and Voight is coming. I've gotten a few requests for that and I promise it's in the works. Any suggestions for other things you'd like to see are welcome and thanks for reading.
She kept running. The cool Chicago air burning her lungs and her knees were sore from the intensity with which her feet were pounding the concrete. The physical pain was good. It was a distraction from everything she wanted to avoid thinking about. About forty-five minutes passed by when she knew her body couldn't take it anymore. She slowed down catching her breath, and noticed she was near the water. She watched as the tide of Lake Michigan rolled in and out. She walked closer towards the lake until she was on the beach. There she sat down and removed her bulletproof vest, her boots and socks. It was spring and a chilly spring day at that. She was sure that the water would be freezing cold but she didn't care. She walked in to about her ankle and didn't flinch a bit with the water hit her. She closed her eyes and took in long deep breaths attempting to calm herself and will away anymore tears.
Voight got into the car. "What is she doing Halstead?"
He didn't answer. Honestly he had no idea what she was doing or where she was going.
So Voight asked another question "well what did she say before taking off?"
"Everything." Was all he said.
"Everything" Voight huffed under his breath. What the hell was that supposed to mean.
When they got back to the station it was late so Voight sent everyone home. Jay decided to sit outside on the precinct steps and wait for her. She'd have to go there eventually and get her car. The sun was starting to go down and Erin knew better then to walk the streets of Chicago alone at night. The only problem was Erin didn't always do what she was supposed to. Especially when she was upset.
She knew if she didn't get out of the water soon she would become hypothermic. She also knew standing there pretending all her problems would disappear was stupid but she wanted to believe it.
She's a firm believer that everything said has some truth to it. Jay must have meant what he said at least a little bit. Under that logic being with her and everything that had happened was meaningless to him. It hurt worse and worse every time she thought it.
The sun was just about down and Jay was starting to panic. "Damn it Erin where are you" he wondered allowed. He saw a young patrol man fresh from the academy in the parking lot, and ran over to him.
"Hey you on duty tonight?"
"Yes" the young officer answered.
"I'm detective Jay Halstead from intelligence" then he pointed at Erin's car. "I need you to do me a favor. Can you keep an eye on that car. If a woman comes and drives away in it call me immediately." He wrote down his number quickly and handed it to him. "Think you can do that?"
The officer nodded "yes detective I'll call immediately."
"Thank you." Jay said before running to his car to search for her.
He drove back to where she had originally ran off. It was a bad part of town and he hoped and prayed she was alright and had ran far enough away that she wasn't roaming the streets in this area at this time of night. He kept driving in the direction he had watched her run. Eventually the road ended when it hit the water. He had to go either left or right along the lake but he could only guess what direction she had went. He sat for a few seconds of deliberation and then he turned left.
The sky was still dark blue and not quiet black. He could see a little bit but he needed to spot her before it got too dark. He kept trying her cell phone, but was never surprised when she didn't pick up.
He wasn't sure if it was by luck, or chance, or fate, but he turned his head towards the beach for one split second and saw the figure of a woman. He parked quickly and ran down towards the water. The closer he got the more certain he was that it was her. When he was one hundred percent sure he slowed down and walked to stand beside her. Being care not to startle her and thinking about what he might say when he got there.
He stood right beside her and she knew he was there, yet refused to peel her gaze away from the bright full moon.
"How long have you been standing here?" He asked noticing that the water had soaked through her jeans all the way to mid calf.
"I don't know." Was all she responded quietly without even looking his way.
"Can we talk Erin?"
"There's nothing to say."
"Ok well can we at least get out of the water. You're going to get sick."
She turned around and walked over to where her shoes and vest were and sat beside them with her knees bent resting her hands on them.
He joined her. They stayed that way for a minute, both silently staring up at the moon. Her voice finally shattered the silence.
"I had never really thought about it you know? I was busy with my career and I hadn't been in a serious relationship in years, so a family and settling down was never something that really crossed my mind. And then you came along. And I thought about it for a second. But then you left. When you came back I found out I was pregnant and for a split second I was going to be a mom but just like you the baby left me. And now no matter how hard I try to not think about it I can't help it. Every time I see you I think about how I almost had a real family Jay. A little family that was my own. And I hate that I still want you Jay. I hate it so much. I hate that I still think about what it would have been like to have a family with you all the time. I know that losing a baby like that would have hurt no matter what, but I think it hurt a million times worse because it was your baby Jay. How pathetic is that?" The both stared at the sky the whole time she spoke but when she asked that last question Jay looked over at her.
"It's not pathetic." She met his glance. "Any other girl in the world I would have felt bad because of the circumstances, but more so I would have been relieved. But because it was you it was devastating Erin. Would it have been the best timing in the world? No, but I would have been happy. I would have gone out and bought all the parenting books, I would have annoyed Antonio constantly asking him advice and questions, I would have spent hours trying figure out the Swedish instructions for the Ikea crib, and I would have been more then happy to do it because it was your baby Erin. Our baby. Of coarse I would have been scared, and I probably would have pissed my pants when we told Voight, but if you believe nothing else that ever comes out of my mouth believe me when I say I would have loved our baby and been there to take care of you and our baby because I love you Erin."