Chapter Eleven
Daryl leaned over Grace and kissed her cheek. "I'm gonna go have a smoke alright."
Grace nodded and curled back in on herself. She felt even more withdrawn than ever. It had been days since she'd last seen anyone except Daryl. The other women had tried to come by for visits but she just didn't feel like being social at all. It was hard enough being around herself. When she closed her eyes she never slept long and it had been almost a week since her last bath. She wasn't sure how Daryl tolerated her.
Outside she heard voices.
It wasn't uncommon for someone to be keeping an eye out for them and attempt to get information out of Daryl.
"Told you she ain't gonna talk to nobody." He sounded angry, but Grace heard the hint of distress under his voice. "She'll talk when she's ready."
She couldn't hear what the other voice was saying and she assumed it was Carol. The older woman had been by several times but luckily Daryl had let her any closer to the truck than she was now. When Lori came by she was far more aggressive and usually got right up to the cab before being persuaded to leave of get backhanded. Miranda was quiet but nowhere near as quiet as Carol. Grace could usually at least pick-up a little of what she was saying.
"Don't think that'll work."
Grace rolled back over. She didn't want to hear whatever plan Carol had come up with to convince Daryl that she needed to talk to someone. Daryl was smart enough to know that she was far too stubborn to give in easily and he didn't like anyone enough to let them close to Grace. She must have drifted off again while Daryl was outside because she woke to the sounds of a vehicle pulling up next to the truck. Rubbing her eyes she struggled to pull herself up when Daryl dropped the tailgate with no warning.
"Out." He grunted.
Grace's eyes went wide. What the hell was going on?
"I'll come in a get you if I gotta." The expression on his face was determined; she was going to come out of the truck even if he had to drag her kicking and screaming the whole way.
She blinked up at him, "What?"
"We're gonna go get you cleaned up. Now come on 'cause I'd sure as shit rather you do this willin'ly."
When she finally got over the shock enough to speak, Grace's voice trembled with the effort. "I don't, I don't want to go anywhere. Can't I just stay put for a few more days?"
Daryl's face softened. "Not this time, sweetheart." He said resigned. "Can't sit an' wallow no more. Yer scaring people an' they miss you or somethin'."
"I don't want to see anyone." She insisted.
"I know. Carol wanted to take you down herself but I told her that I wasn't plannin' on lettin' that happen any time soon. Gotta take you myself so they'll get off our backs." He shrugged. "They all promised to stay away long as I get you down there."
"Can it wait?"
"They're plannin' on sendin' in the cavalry 'less you start gettin' out an' about. There ain't much we can do 'bout it." He held out his hand and she reluctantly slid to the end of the truck bed so he could help her down.
"I'm not happy with them."
"Didn't expect it."
"And I'm not taking visitors."
"Tha's wut I said. This is the bes' I could do."
Shane had obviously loaned his Jeep for the cause of getting her down to the water and cleaned up because it sat idling beside the truck. "We're not taking your truck?"
"Carol's gonna change the beddin' for us. That way you don't gotta talk to her if you don't wanna."
"Oh."
Daryl helped her up into the Jeep and then climbed into the driver's side himself. There were fresh clothes already in the back and a few towels. Carol must have washed some of their things because it looked like Daryl had a clean change of clothes as well. The jeep bumped down the path and Grace leaned her head against the headrest. Daryl reached over and patted her shoulder. "I know." He murmured and she rubbed her cheek against his hand.
"I just..."
"Never said nothin' 'bout it, did I? You don't gotta 'splain yerself to me. It's them that need this."
He parked as close to the water as could then helped her slowly strip down, before he pulled his own clothes off and stood facing her in his boxers. This wasn't their splashing fun from the cabin. There was no sexual undercurrent. It was purely practical. "You wanna get all the way wet?"
"Don't want to risk infection. I'll just stand and rinse off."
There was a small bucket in the truck and he pulled the odds and ends out of it so it was usable. Then he helped her out into the water. "Ain't so cold as the river." He offered as much as he could. "Doesn't move as much so the water's got time to warm up."
"I'm alright," she insisted, though her knees were trembling.
Daryl gave her a quick once over before dipping a wash cloth in the water. She moved to take it from him but he pushed her hand back down. "I got this."
"I'm not a child." Her voice sounded far too fragile to be believed and she was glad when Daryl ignored her. Carefully he wet her down before adding her body wash to the cloth and beginning the process of rinsing more than a week's worth of sweat and grime. When her body was clean he tipped her head back and soaked her hair. A glob of shampoo applied with his hands and he carefully combed through the knots and tangles with his fingers, massaging her scalp as he went. The more he worked the more Grace felt the tension leaving her body. She had been wound so tightly the past few days she thought she would snap in two.
Daryl kissed her cheek gently after he rinsed her hair and stripped out of his boxers to wash himself quickly as well. She watched him not knowing what to do. She wanted to joke, wanted to be back to normal and tease him about how Merle was sure to mock him about smelling like a girl. She wanted to think that Merle still would pick on them for bathing together. Hell, she'd give just about anything for them to be back at the cabin with Merle trying to spy on her tits.
The shivers started in her fingers but soon spread to her entire body until she was trembling and hugging herself. Once more tears ran down her cheeks silently. Daryl went on without knowing, dunking his head to rinse the bubbles from his own hair. When he came back up, he shook the wet hair out of his eyes before catching sight of her.
"Grace?" He asked, tone cautious and gentle so he wouldn't startle her.
She whimpered in response and he stepped closer to her again. She collapsed against him, body heaving as she let out all her pent up emotions. Daryl simply stood and clutched her tightly to his chest. He didn't say anything. He was at a complete loss for words Grace wasn't displeased. She just needed him to hold her. Finally Grace was able to admit to herself that she wasn't doing alright. Against his bare skin she sobbed out, "I want my baby."
When she was finally out of breath and couldn't cry any more, Daryl washed the tears off her face and brought her up to the Jeep. He handed her one towel and then helped her dry her hair but she pushed him away. "Go get yourself dressed. I'm alright." She insisted. It was strange but since crying herself to sleep after finally delivering the fetus she hadn't cried. She'd laid in bed and refused to talk to anyone, just letting the tension build. Before she was crying because she was sore and tired. She wasn't admitting that it happened. This time the tears had brought the realization that she was grieving. Though it had taken her two months to admit that she was carrying it, once she did Grace had truly wanted this baby. She pictured nurseries and futures and Daryl and her walking with a little toddler swinging between them clutching Mommy and Daddy's hands tightly.
Still bleeding a little, but nowhere near as heavily, she found a box of pads that Carol had probably thought to add to their pile of things. The pants in with the clothes were not her own, a soft pair of light grey yoga pants. Grace would have to return them once she discovered who's they were. Sliding the pants over her hips though she was grateful. When she'd bothered to put on pants at all she had been wearing the same heavy pair of sweat pants and they were uncomfortably dirty and worn. Getting washed up and into fresh clothes seemed to make a world of difference in her outlook. The bra and tank top were her own and she decided to just not wear an over shirt. She'd forgotten just how hot it was in the direct sun. Already she was sweating.
Daryl dressed quietly beside her, glancing over constantly as if waiting to rush to her aid again. She wanted to smile, to reassure him that it was fine and she simply had needed to take charge of something herself but she suddenly found herself exhausted again and didn't have the energy to give him more than a quirk of her lips.
As she gathered her disgusting clothes into a pile in the back of the jeep Daryl came up behind her and lightly wrapped his arms around her. He brushed her wet hair to one side and nuzzled her neck. "You sure you're alright?" He whispered. "No one 'spects you to be. Got plenty of time to sort yerself out." His hands ghosted over her hips. Except for the washing, she hadn't let him anywhere near her stomach since discovering the devastating news. The memory of Daryl telling her that he pictured her fully pregnant was too painful to dredge up.
Reach down, she took each of his hands and brought them together in front of her to let him hug her. "I'll get there. Can we go back to the truck now though?"
"Ready to lay down again?" She could feel the tension in his arms.
Turning to face him, she pressed her lips against his as reassurance. "One more day." Grace assured him. "I'll try to do a little more tomorrow."
When they got back to the truck, she insisted that Daryl go find Merle and take him out hunting for the afternoon. She'd noticed in the jeep that it was only ten in the morning. They had plenty of time to bring at least something small back and that could take some of the edge off the stress over food in camp. He made sure that she settled back into the truck and was comfortable before he left. With a couple of bottles of water nearby and the assurance that one of the girls would bring her lunch in a few hours, Daryl left, taking the last of the dirty laundry with him.
Comfortable, exhausted and enjoying the smell of clean sheets, Grace drifted off almost before Daryl was gone.
"Grace? Grace?" The tiny voice whispered at the back of the truck.
"Shhh! She's sleeping."
"We should go back. My mommy is going to be mad at us for bothering her."
"My mom said that Grace needs to rest. She's sick."
"What's she got?"
"Shane wouldn't tell me. I asked him. And Mom would say anything either."
The group of children argued among themselves until finally Grace couldn't pretend to sleep any longer. "Hey guys." She sat up and crawled to the end of the truck, pushing the door open the rest of the way.
The four children stood at the back looking sheepish.
"You're in for it now." Carl elbowed Sophia and the little girl looked scolded.
"It's alright." Grace tried to reassure them. "What are you guys doing here?"
It took some careful prodding but finally Eliza spoke up, "We missed you."
"Can you read us the bunny book?" Her brother chimed in.
"I tried." Sophia said shyly, Grace noticed that she was clutching the book tightly. "But I not very good at reading out loud and I don't know all the big words."
Grace thought about it for a moment. She wasn't really tired anymore. Her short nap had apparently been enough to recover from her crying jag. It would be nice to have a bit of a distraction too. "Yeah," She nodded slowly. "I can read it." She dropped the tailgate and all four children clamoured into the back of the truck. The settled around Grace on the mattress and she was very happy that Carol had straighten it out while she replaced the bedding. It had gotten pretty messy in the days Grace had isolated herself there.
Flipping through the pages, she found the place where her bookmark had been and began reading all four children fell quiet. As she turned the page for the first time, Grace noticed how relaxed she suddenly felt.
"Sophia Margaret Anne Peletier, I told you to leave Grace alone." Sophia jumped underneath Grace's arm where she was snuggled up and listening to Grace reading. Carol was standing at the back of the truck looking furious. "You were all supposed to stay in the RV and play quietly while we got lunch ready, were you not?"
The four children looked down, ashamed at being caught.
"It's alright, Carol." Grace marked her place with her finger and smiled at the woman. "I think they were just what I needed actually. After that bath this morning."
"You sure you're alright?"
She sighed. "Getting there. I don't know if I could face much more than the kids right now but I'm getting there."
Carol nodded and then frowned at her daughter. "I don't know who's idea it was but I'll be telling your parents that you didn't listen instructions at all. Sophia is just lucky that it was me who showed up and not her father.
"Why don't you four go get lunch and we'll finish up the chapter after?" Grace suggested and the children all crawled out, thoroughly scolded. Carol helped them out one by one and sent them toward camp with direct instructions to not take any detours.
Grace came out to sit on the tailgate. Carol sat down beside her and sighed. "They get into so much trouble. I don't even know who was supposed to be watching them but with trying to figure out what's happening with camp it's almost impossible to keep track of them."
She nodded at the other woman. "It must be hard and here I've been hiding away from everyone. I could have at least helped out."
"NO!" Wide-eyed Carol almost shouted. "That's ridiculous. No one blames you for not being there. We're worried about you. I don't pretend to understand medical anything but I know it can be dangerous. Infection and whatnot. What would we do out here if there were complications?"
That thought had crossed Grace's mind several times since she first started spotting. There wasn't really much that they could do. She was just lucky that nothing had gone wrong. The nearest hospital was in Atlanta and the last she had seen the city was being bombed. Glenn said that when he did runs into town, it looked like a war had happened. Other than the few people he'd brought back with him there were no survivors still in the city.
Carol must have realized that it probably wasn't the best time to be saying something like that when Grace went completely silent. "Oh goodness!" The grey haired woman spluttered out. "I'm so sorry!"
"No, it's fine." She shook herself to clear her mind of unpleasant thoughts. There was no use dwelling on what might have happened or what might go wrong. "I've wondered the same things." Grace admitted quietly. She stared down blankly at the bowl of beans in front of her. Changing the subject she added. "Good thing I sent out Daryl and Merle today. It'll be nice to have some fresh meat."
"Glenn says he found a department store and he's thinking of taking a group into the city. He does so well getting in an out on his own."
A trip into the city was probably needed. They were running low on supplies. As lucky as they were that they had water thanks to the quarry there was only so long they could go without eating. It was possible that there were things that they might be able eat in the forest but the only ones that would know about that were currently out hunting. Grace made a note to ask the brothers about finding food other than meat when they got back.
Grace woke suddenly with the feeling that someone was watching her. Daryl gave her a small smile from the back of the truck. When she smiled back he gave her a genuine smile and nodded toward the dog pile around her.
"I get replaced since I been gone?"
Louis had fallen asleep after finishing up lunch and as Grace read the other three had slowly drifted off as well. The children were so worked up over everything that had happened in the past few weeks they weren't sleeping well at night. Whenever they got the chance to fall asleep comfortably, it was best to just leave them there. Grace was tired herself and she'd apparently fallen asleep with her own novel on her chest.
"Hush up." She stuck out her tongue and began to extract herself without waking up anyone. Daryl was sweaty and dirty but she wanted to be near him more than anything. While getting cleaned up had helped clear her mind so she could focus, the emptiness she felt was still a constant ache.
Daryl accepted her embrace without surprise. It was as if he had known she would slowly work herself back to normal once she got going. "You wanna move back to camp now?" He questioned, nudging her with his cheek, clearly pleased to have her reasonably contented again. The tension in his shoulders was slowly melting away. Grace wondered how much tension she'd put on their fragile promise of commitment by leaning so heavily on him in the past few days. Still he'd stood by her.
"Not quite yet. I'm still tired all the time. That's probably why I fell asleep with them." She nodded toward the truck. "A few more days and the bleeding should be stopped. Hopefully I'll get some of my strength back by then."
He nodded seriously and she pushed him lightly. "Hey," he grunted in protest.
"Lighten up, grumpy." Grace insisted. "It'll work itself out in the end."
Daryl frowned deeply, his face wrinkled with worry lines. "You've got no idea, do you?"
She shook her head confused. Grace had thought that her slow returning to an alright state would be good enough to bring Daryl out of his slump as well. Apparently there was more going on than she realized.
He didn't look at her. Instead Daryl pushed his face into her neck, clutching her tightly to him. "Thought I was gonna lose you." He mumbled, voice rough with emotion. A tremble ran through his shoulders, so slight that she wouldn't have felt it if she hadn't been pressed so closely too him.
It was clear that the admission was tearing him up inside. Saying it out loud had made it as real as her admitting that she wanted the baby. Grace squeezed him back tightly as she could bare, clinging to him and hoping to remind him that she was honestly going to be alright. "I'm going to be fine."
"Didn't know someone could bleed out that much and not die. There was so much blood and you kept..." He trailed off into silence.
She rubbed his shoulders, trying to loosen the knots. "I'm alright though."
"I kept wakin'-up and thinkin' you looked so pale you musta died when I was sleepin'." He exhaled hard. "Then you weren't talkin' none and I wanted to think you were gonna snap outta it but it just kept goin'."
Grace pulled his head away from her. His eyes were bright and shining. Clearly he was on the verge of breaking down. He rubbed angrily at his face, mad at himself for showing weakness and even more so for showing it in front of Grace so soon after her own breakdown. Gently she took his hands in her own and brought them to his sides. Then she leaned up and firmly pressed her closed lips against his mouth. Daryl jumped at the action, seeming to be startled by it.
After a moment he freed his hands from hers and grabbed her, tugging her up to his mouth and forcing his tongue past her teeth to get at her own. She let him be as rough with her as he needed to. He seemed to need to remind himself that she hadn't died and was probably not at any risk of it at just that moment - aside from their current situation, of course. As his frantic movement slowed and he leaned back to rest his forehead against hers, Daryl panted hot breaths across her face. Grace breathed back, sharing his air. He leaned in quickly for another kiss and she smiled.
"Thank-you." She whispered. "For not giving up on me."
"I don't want to ever get close to that again."
"I didn't exactly plan it."
"I don't want to have kids if tha's what it's gonna do to you."
"We'll have kids one day." She reassured him, "When we're both ready and want them. Not now though. In a while."
Daryl simply gave her a little squeeze.
"Grace?" A sleepy voice from the truck called out. More frantically it repeated. "Grace!"
Grace pulled herself from Daryl and hurried to check on who was getting up. Eliza was looking around wildly for an adult, clearly terrified to have woken-up alone. The first fat tear drops were rolling down her cheeks when Grace got to her. She pulled the little girl into her lap and brushed the hair off her face, reassuring her the whole time that she was alright and there was nothing to be scared of. The hunter hung back, unsure of what he was expected to do and uncomfortable. Grace looked at him over the top of Eliza's head and shrugged. Realizing her attention was now required elsewhere Daryl made some excuse about going to make sure that Merle hadn't started to hoard their hunt and left quickly.
Grace wasn't willing to rejoin the rest of camp for dinner that night and Carol seemed to realize that just visiting with the children had worn her out. She arrived with a dish for her and Daryl to split between the two of them. Merle had apparently stashed away his own food and taken some of the hunted meat for himself, which he was now refusing to share with the others. While Grace knew it made him seem like an asshole, she thought it was probably best if he didn't spend time eating with the rest of the group. Then they'd really realize how much of an asshole he could really be.
Seeing as she was over the worst of the pain and mostly on the recovering end of things, she made a short trip to the camp Merle had set-up for himself to return his painkillers. She found him roasting a small mammal over his camp fire, cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
When he caught sight of her he pulled the smoke from his mouth and opened his arms for a hug. "There's our girl. How're ya doin'? Plannin' on dying on us any time soon?"
"Not today, Merle." She hung back. The very last thing she needed at this point was Merle getting too touchy feely. She'd hoped he would be less confrontational if she didn't bring Daryl but it seemed the older Dixon was in too good a mood to not show off. "I brought these back to you." Grace shook the orange prescription bottle at him.
"Nah, you keep 'em." He dropped his arms in rejection and went back to poking the fire.
"I really don't need them anymore. Only used a few anyway. They're pretty strong compared to what I'm used to."
He smirked even bigger. "They're goooood, ain't they?" He took the bottle from the tips of her fingers and tucked it away in his pocket.
"You need to tone it down a bit. People at camp aren't going to want you around if you don't stop getting high all the time. There are fucking kids here."
"You gotta stop worryin' 'bout, Ol' Merle. I got shit covered. Take care uh myself an' no one can say I don't."
Grace glared at him. "Unless you pass out before you get into your tent or puke all over yourself. How exactly do you plan on redeeming yourself?"
"Gonna go in on their little trip to the city. Need someone who knows how ta handle a weapon and we both know I'm a good shot."
"What about Shane?"
"The cop? He's stayin' here to sit on his ass an' protect camp. Lazy motherfucker. Didn't want me hangin' around here sittin' on top uh their RV." Merle grinned. "I offered to stay here but they said if I was gonna help out they'd rather me in the city. Guess yer right an' they don't trust me. Whatever. Gonna see what I can get ta help me while I'm there. Win-win all around."
"No." Grace snarled. "No fucking way am I letting you go into town with them."
Merle looked shocked. "Why exactly not?" He slurred. "Gracie Carter don't trust me ta come back?"
"Gracie Carter doesn't trust you not to get someone killed because you want to go looking for a fix."
"Can't stop me."
It was true. There was nothing she could do to stop him. Her dislike for the man pooled in her stomach. These people had been good to them and Merle was going to get them all fucking killed. After everything they'd been through, they really didn't need his bullshit. She groaned with frustration, reining in her urge to slap Merle and stormed away.
"That's right, girly. Walk away!" He shouted after her. Grace simply raised her hand over her head and flipped him off as she left.
"How're you feeling this morning?" Andrea smiled over the bucket of water she was hauling up to the truck. Grace was already up and about tidying up the mess that had gathered around their camp site.
"Better. I think the worst is pretty much over with now." She'd been visiting the main camp for the past few days but hadn't been quite ready to move back yet. She needed more time to rest on her own and there were always too many people around for her to feel comfortable. It had already been almost two weeks though and the bleeding had stopped the day before. Grace was still tired but she knew that she wanted to move back to the main camp. It wasn't exactly safe being this far away from everyone else. She still wanted her privacy but it was only a matter of time before she wanted human contact more.
Andrea nodded. "Planning on coming in for breakfast? There isn't much but we're all sharing."
"Daryl and I ate before he left. Merle was up early and banging around the camp so I've been up a while."
"You know I didn't think I'd ever say it but I'm glad we ran into you guys. Daryl's useful."
"That he is." Grace laughed. "Merle was can get rid of though."
"Have you asked Daryl about moving the truck?"
"I'm going to mention it to him tonight. Maybe we can do it tomorrow or the day after."
Andrea nodded excitedly. "Better make it tomorrow. The group's going into the city the day after."
Grace turned and stared at the other woman wide-eyed. "What?"
"Yeah. Glenn's doing a quick run today to scout ahead and then we're going into the city."
"Who's going?"
"Glenn, Morales, T-Dog, Jacquie, Me and Merle."
"Why Jacquie?"
"She's from Atlanta. Knows the city. We could use someone who knows it well." The blonde shrugged. "Shouldn't you be asking why Merle?"
"Already had that fight with him. Thought maybe you'd all given up on the idea and I wouldn't have to worry about him."
"He sure is a piece of work isn't he?" The blonde grumbled, "I wish it was anyone but him but we need someone who can handle a gun. I've got the one my dad gave me but I don't understand the mechanics of it."
Grace patted her own weapon. "The closer they get, the less you have to understand it." She jumped off the tailgate. "Come on, I feel like going to see the camp. I'm useless out here and starting to get cabin fever."
"Ohhhh." The sigh that slipped from Andrea's mouth was pure pain. "I miss that stupid cabin. Four walls around us would be heaven."
"Hey shithead! You bring me somethin' good?" Merle's voice echoed across the camp and everyone turned to look where he was pointing. Daryl stepped out of the trees, crossbow slung over one shoulder and a string of animals along his belt.
"Nothing but squirrel today. Whole damn forest's emptyin' out. Feedin' all these bastards."
"Watch it." Shane growled, standing quickly.
Daryl glared at him. "I don't see you huntin'. What exactly d'you spend all day doin' here?"
"Protecting these people. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" The officer smirked. "You dragged yourself so far away from camp I'm surprised you bring us anything at all."
"Shane." Lori warned quietly.
Grace was on her feet before she could stop herself. "Listen here, you asshole. Daryl wasn't exactly on a vacation these past few days."
"Shit, Grace." Shane's face dropped immediately. "I'm sorry. I didn't..."
"I know you didn't." Her tone softened. "Just leave it. I know you're frustrated but we can't take it out on each other. We've got to stand united on this. Daryl goes out and gets food but that's just as important as you staying here and hauling water or keeping watch on the RV."
Shane nodded and wiped the sweat off his face. "Listen man," He turned to Daryl.
Daryl snorted. "Kiss my ass." He stormed off, nudging Merle to go follow him. The older Dixon winked at the group and swaggered off behind his brother.
The officer caught Grace's glare and shrugged. "Ain't my fault he won't listen."
"It sure is your fault that you can't keep your temper." She frowned and shook her head at him before going after the Dixon brothers.
Daryl was alone with an oversized brown squirrel split open in front of him when she got to the truck. "Hey." She looked down at him and smiled. "Glad you're back."
"Told you I would be, didn't I?" he dropped whatever he'd just cut off the animal into the bowl beside him.
"Yeah but some things are out of your control. Where's Merle?"
"Went to get his kit from his tent. Told him I'd start up without him."
Grace frowned. "Can I get a hello then?"
Daryl held his straight face for a moment longer before giving her a flirty smile. "You want a hello, huh?" He stood and rubbed his hands off on his pants.
She smiled back. "I missed you. It's getting late." She snuggled up into him, claiming his mouth hungrily. After everything that had happened she just wanted to be normal; to forget that they'd ever come close to having a child, to forget the future she'd imagined.
"Found deer tracks. Think there might be one hiding 'round here somewhere. I get that an' we got meat for a while."
Pressing herself closer to him at the thought of Daryl leaving again so soon, Grace whispered, "When are you going to try for it?"
"I'd have to track it. Could be an overnight trip." She whimpered and Daryl kissed her quickly, "Hey, hey. I'm not goin' jus' yet."
"Where we goin'?" Merle chuckled from the edge of the clearing. "You comin' into the city with me?"
"You shouldn't be going at all." Grace insisted as, for once, Daryl didn't let her go the second his brother was in the picture.
"There's nothing you can do ta change my mind, sweet cheeks." Merle leered. "Can't stop me."
"You're gonna get someone killed if you go in there high. You're hell on wheels when you've got something in your system."
"So what? You want me to go sober?"
Daryl rubbed her arm when Grace didn't respond right away. "Leave it, Grace." He murmured to her.
"No, Daryl. Not this time. This is people's fucking lives!"
"How exactly are you plannin' on stoppin' him? Huh? You got some plan up yer sleeve."
Grace mashed her bottom lip. "I'll tell them. I'll tell them all. Then you'll have to answer to all of us. Do you think Shane will just accept that you're using around Carl. He won't let that go on around him."
"You'd get him killed over them." Daryl pushed her away. He was furious but Grace was just as angry.
"He's not worth it. Not when he's like this, Daryl. He'd be perfectly alright if we died just so he could get high. I won't lose these people over his stupid fix."
"You don't think I can go clean?" Merle slurred. "You're a piece uh work, you know that. It ain't mattered none to you before and now you wanna boss me around!"
"I don't care if you get high here. That's your own fucking business. It's dangerous in the city though and you're reckless. If you want to go then you leave the drugs here."
"With who? You?"
"Well, unless you're turning them over to Shane, yeah. I'd probably be your best bet."
"You're fuckin' serious?"
"I am."
Merle whistled low and grinned. "Alright." He slapped his leg and held out his hand for a shake. "No tellin' what I'm gonna find it town so I'll risk it."
He would? What? Grace narrowed her eyes, she was skeptical about this entire thing. She looked down at his hand warily.
Even Daryl seemed shocked by his brother's actions. "Yer just gonna let her take yer stash?"
"Come on, it's Gracie. She ain't gonna do nothin' with it."
"So you're not fighting me on this?" Grace still wasn't just going to take his word for it.
"Nah, don't want to end up havin' a fight over this with the whole damn group. I ain't stupid. I'd get fuckin' outnumbered. They don't got the good sense to stay outta some people's business. I turn my stash over before I leave and get it back when we come back?"
"That's the deal."
"Alright, it's a deal."
Two days later Daryl left to go get his deer and the group was gathering together to send their friends into the city. Glenn's trial run had gone by completely without a hitch and everyone was excited for the prospect of getting more supplies. Everything was running low. Grace hadn't shared with the group that Daryl thought he would be able to bring in a deer. The thought of all that meat was too much expectation for the group to put on Daryl and he'd be devastated if he had to return without it.
They were just about to leave and Grace still hadn't seen Merle. She finally tracked him down to his tent and kicked at the metal pail outside to announce her presence. "Merle? You've gotta hand over the goods if you're still planning on going."
Merle climbed out of the tent and smiled hugely at Grace. "Sure thing, Gracie." He held out the bag easily. Too easily.
She stared him down, snatching it out of his hands roughly. "What did you do?"
"Nothin'."
"You're too happy to have done nothing. This had better be everything."
"I ain't got nothing on me. You got everything that's left." Merle lifted his shirt and spun around sarcastically. "I can lose the pants to if you wanna see the full package." Grace stared into the bag trying to remember how much had been in it the last time she'd seen it. How much could someone use in a few weeks?
"That's alright." His pupils seemed a little large to her but she wasn't close enough to see him very well. It could just be from laying in his dark tent instead of the bright sun. He was his usual lecherous self, so that wasn't anything she could worry about. "I guess you're good to go now." She looked once more at the bag in her hand and nodded to him.
They loaded up the truck they were taking. It had enough room that they should be able to fit quite a bit of supplies into it. Almost everyone came out to see them off. As the truck pulled away, Grace was sure she saw Merle rubbing his nose.
Grace was sitting with the kids and reading them the next chapter of Watership Down with Amy sitting nearby and listening in when Amy jumped to her feet. "Did you hear that?"
Grace looked over to where Amy was turned toward. The radio was crackling to life. A deep male voice came in over the airwaves. "Broadcasting on emergency channel. Will be approaching Atlanta on Highway 85. Anybody reads, please respond."
The young blonde jumped to her feet and raced over to the log that the radio was sitting on.
"Is that help?" Carl asked. "That's Shane's radio. Do you think it might be help?"
"I don't know, Bud." Grace scrunched up her face in concern. "They know enough to broadcast on the emergency channel but I don't know what that means really. Could be that anyone would do that."
"Why's he going into the city?" Eliza wondered.
"Probably doesn't know how dangerous it is."
Louis blurted, "He's going to die."
"Let's not jump to conclusions." Grace quieted the children. They all started to get overly excited at the little boy's comment.
"Hello. Hello? Can anybody hear my voice?"
"Yes, we can hear you." Amy tried. "You're coming through."
"If anybody reads, please respond."
"Why isn't he answering?" Carl wanted to know.
"Quiet for a second you guys. Give it a chance." Grace assured them. "I'm sure he'll be fine once the connection gets made."
"Broadcasting on emergency channel. Will be approaching Atlanta on Highway 85."
"We're just outside the city. Hello. Hello?" Amy fiddled with the dials frantically. "He couldn't hear me."
Beside her Sophia sniffled. Grace put her arm around the girl. "It's alright." She whispered. "Don't worry about him."
"Try to raise him again." Dale encouraged.
"Shane!" Grace shouted across the camp. "Can you help out over here?"
The officer jogged across the camp with an armload of wood dropping it by the fire. "What's going on?"
"Are you there?" Amy tried to reach the man once again. She turned to Shane, "Someone's heading into the city. He's on the emergency channel. We've been trying to warn him but he can't hear us."
"Lemme give it a shot." Shane squatted beside the radio and took the mouth piece from Amy. "Hello-hello, is the person who called still on the air?" Nothing came through but static. "This is Officer Shane Walsh broadcasting to person unknown, please respond." Again there was no response. Shane put the radio down bitterly. "He's gone."
A deep sadness fell over the camp. "Well, there are others." Lori stated hopefully. "It's not just us."
"We knew there would be." Shane nodded. There had been no new people to the camp for two and a half weeks. It was starting to seem like their camp of survivors was the only living people left in the world. The officer patted the stump, "That's why we left the CB on." It was their last bit of hope that someone from the outside would contact them and they would be rescued. Somewhere there had to be some sense of civilization. The remains of the real world.
"A lot of good it's been doing." Lori glared.
Shane turned away, "Okay." He muttered sarcastically.
"And I've been saying for a week, we ought to put signs up on 85 and warn people away from the city."
"Folks got no idea what they're getting into." Amy slumped beside the radio and sighed.
"Because the line of traffic stuck leaving town isn't a good enough sign?" Grace shook her head. "We've got enough to do here."
Shane looked gratefully at Grace, "We haven't had the time."
"I think we need to make time."
"When Lori? In between crawling on our knees looking for mushrooms or cutting firewood so we don't freeze at night?" Grace asked. She was almost angry that Lori would suggest something so stupid.
"We're surviving here." The officer stood and brushed himself off. "We are day to day."
Dale turned to Lori and added, "And who do you propose we send?"
"Half the damn group is gone. Shane and I are the only ones that can use guns." Grace rolled her eyes. "I can't make the trip and I'm practically useless with a firearm. I guess Shane should just start painting graffiti?"
"I'll do it. By myself." Lori insisted. "Give me a vehicle."
"And you'll drive it with what fuel?"
"Nobody goes anywhere alone. You know that." Fingers messed Shane's hair as he tried to diffuse the situation.
Lori glared and snapped, "Yes, Sir." Before stomping off toward her tent.
"Mom?" Carl stood unsure of where his mother was going.
"It's alright, Carl." Grace tried her best to settle herself back down and find her line on the page.
"Grab a seat, Buddy." Shane gave the boy a small smile. "You're alright here with Grace. Just listen to the story." He followed Lori without looking back.
The boy stood unsure of what was happening and Amy patted him on the shoulder. "Come listen so Grace can finish reading," she tempted and eventually Carl sat back down, casting sidelong glances toward where Shane and his mother had disappeared.
"Would you listen to that thunder." Grace stretched. She'd laid down for a short nap and while she slept the sky had begun to blacken. "It's getting dark out."
"They aren't back."
"They'll be fine, Ams." Grace gave the younger girl a squeeze. "Andrea brought your dad's gun with her and Merle's got his gun. Glenn's done this plenty of times."
Amy whined, "Then why haven't we haven't we heard from them?"
"Weather must be holding them up. It might be raining in the city."
Suddenly above them the radio crackled to life, "Base camp, this is T-Dog. Anyone hear me?"
"See there they are. We've got nothing to worry about."
Dale climbed the RV to try and reach the radio before the city group's next transmission. "Hello, hello. Reception is bad on this end. Repeat, repeat."
"That's them right?" Amy called up. "Are they coming back soon?"
"Shane... you...?"
"Is that them?" Lori repeated Amy's earlier question.
"We're in some deep shit," came T's choppy voice over the CB. "We're trapped in the department store."
Everyone at camp perked up at that one. "Trapped? He said trapped right?" Amy grabbed Grace.
"Slow down."
"Did he say they were trapped?"
"I'm sure they're fine."
"He said they're in the department store." Lori looked at Shane pointedly.
Dale nodded in confirmation. "I heard that too."
"No. No way. We don't risk the rest of the group."
"Shane!" The dark haired woman scolded.
Shane shook his head. "We can't risk them."
Amy's voice was high and thin. "So what? We're just going to leave them there?
"Look, Amy, I know this is not easy but..."
Amy cut him off. "She volunteered to go. To help the rest of us."
"She knew the risks, hon." Grace gave the blonde a grim smile. "She wouldn't want us to risk our lives to try and save her. They'll find a way out. It's better if we don't get anyone else trapped."
Amy looked around frantically. "We've got to do something!"
"See," Shane tried to comfort the panic-stricken girl. "If she's trapped, she's gone. So we just have to deal with that. There's nothing we can do."
"She's my sister, you son of a bitch." Amy snarled.
"He's right, Amy." Grace tried.
"You're just as bad as him. All you've got out there is Merle and no one gives a shit about him." Amy stormed off.
"Well that could have gone better." Grace rubbed her face.
Lori made eye contact with Shane and nodded, then took off after the girl. "Amy!"
"Is Amy mad at you?" Carl asked.
Grace nodded. "Yes, Carl, she is. I'd better go try and fix that."
Amy was crying against Lori when Grace found them. "I just..." She gasped. "She's out there and those things." A fresh wave of tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Amy, I'm sorry." Grace tried.
"I don't want to hear it." The blonde spat. "You've got nothing to say that I want to hear."
"They'll make it back." She insisted once again. Trying to calm her friend. "Glenn always makes it back."
"Yeah always. How long until his luck wears off?"
The storm passed by camp without hitting them and the sky cleared up again. Amy sat by the RV and tried several times to get in contact with the group in Atlanta. Over and over she called out for them and each time there was no response.
Grace sat by as her friend waited for news and tried to distract her as best she could. It would be getting dark soon though and they still had yet to hear anything.
Then like a sign from God, a siren pierced the air.
Amy jumped to her feet immediately. "Do you hear that?"
"Yeah, is it them?"
"Is that them?" Amy shouted the question, projecting it to the larger group. "Is it them?"
"I can't tell." Dale answered from the top of the RV. "Stolen car is my guess."
"So they stole a car? Makes sense." Grace nodded, happy that their friends were returning. "Probably couldn't get back to the truck."
"Slow down." Shane paced camp. "Might not be them. Can you tell, Dale?"
"Not from here."
With the speed the car was racing they didn't have to wait long. Glenn raced into camp hollering along with the still wailing car. In a flash he was out and bouncing around excitedly, clearly high on adrenaline. The group rushed him, Amy first in line demanding news.
Glenn struggled under the weight of the crowd.
"Would you turn that damn thing off?" Dale shouted.
"I don't know how!" Glenn grinned.
"Pop the hood!" Shane shouted. "Pop the hood."
"Where are they?" Grace asked as Shane rummaged under the hood. The siren finally cut short bringing blissful quiet back to the mountain. "What are they driving?"
"They've got a cube van. They're coming."
As if on cue, the white truck pulled into the yard. Andrea jumped out almost before it had stopped moving. She ran toward her sister and threw her arms around the younger girl. The two stood crying together. Morales hugged his kids, scooping up Eliza and squeezing Louis into his side. When Miranda came close enough, he grabbed her too and pulled the four of them into a group hug. T and Jacquie walked around the group, collecting relieved hugs as well.
"You're a welcome sight." Dale laughed.
Grace watched as Lori led Carl away, the boy getting upset at everyone's happy reunions. It had to be difficult. Carl rarely talked about his dad but the pain was still pretty fresh.
"How did you get out of there anyway?"
"New guy – he got us out." Glenn shrugged.
"New guy?" The officer questioned.
Grace looked shocked. "How did you find someone in that mess?"
"Idiot got himself stuck in a tank. Rode a horse in to the city and met a whole herd of walkers."
"You should meet him." Morales laughed. "Hey Helicopter Boy. Come say hello."
The man that Grace was expecting did not step out of the van. Instead of a filthy, half starved survivor, the man was clean and wearing a pressed sheriffs uniform. It was a little dusty but in no way could you tell that he'd survived, presumably, on his own.
"The guy's a cop like you." Morales was bragging but Shane wasn't listening.
As the officer's eyes met, Shane's swelled to terrifying size. His entire face went slack with shocked. The other man's mouth dropped open in a mirrored expression of surprise and confusion. They stared each other down in silence.
It was Carl's shout that broke the quiet. "Dad!" Lori reached to grab her son, clearly thinking that this apparition was her dead husband reanimated but Carl slipped from her fingers. "Dad!" He raced to the officer, who knelt to meet him and enveloped him in a powerful hug. Everyone but Grace seemed to be staring at this newcomer. The camp froze as the news hit them.
So this was Rick Grimes.
Grace didn't have long to dwell on this reunion because her eyes were still straining for her pain in the ass. When no one else came out of the van Grace turned to Glenn who shook his head sadly.
"Where's Merle?" She asked and Glenn looked away. Something dropped in her stomach and Grace suddenly realized just how much she worried about the man. She had thought that she didn't want him going because he was a danger to the others. The thought that he wouldn't return had never crossed her mind before. Wildly she looked around again but still the tank of a man did not come into sight. She turned back to Glenn, her voice breaking, "Where's Merle?"