Last Chance

Chapter Ten: Life

Lily wondered who was whispering. She had been pulled from a strange, albeit pleasant, dream, and she was not entirely happy to be awake. Her eyes were sore and her face was puffy under her fingers. Her pillow was damp.

"It's a miracle the boy survived such an attack."

It took Lily a moment to remember where she was. The bed that she was lying on was much firmer than the one in her room. The lights were on and they were dazzling her through her eyelids. She opened her eyes just enough to take in her surroundings: a row of hospital beds, curtains, chairs, high windows, and great wooden doors. The hospital wing. She tried to remember how she had gotten there, but her memory was fuzzy. She thought that there had been a stag, and a dog, and a wolf, but she could not be sure.

She turned her head to look over her shoulder and found herself staring into the eyes of Sirius Black. She started, yanking the white sheets up to her chin and forcing her eyes to open completely. He jumped slightly, but held a finger to his lips, telling her to stay quiet.

Behind him, a group of people were leaning over a bed. Madame Pomfrey was among them, holding a bottled labelled "Essence of Dittany".

"Will there be any contamination?" she whispered.

"We cannot be certain," said an older wizard standing next to her, "The circumstances are quite unique."

One of the witches standing over the bed straightened up. She had been muttering incantations and there was a faint golden glow as she tucked her wand into her robes. "We must speak with Dumbledore now, but we shall return to monitor the boy. Should his condition change in any way, do not hesitate to summon us." she said.

Madame Pomfrey gave them a weary nod and her thanks as she walked them to the door. When they had left she cast a long, sad look at the bed before disappearing into her office.

The crowd around the bed having dispersed, Lily turned her head and was able to see who was injured. She gasped and began to cry anew. James was still unconscious and, though it looked as if his bandages had been changed, patches of scarlet were blooming slowly at his neck and on his chest. The minor scratches seemed to have been healed, but the bites remained and gashes remained.

Lily got out of bed and sat in the empty chair next to Sirius. He turned his chair around and they gazed at James in silence. His breathing was shallow, but stable. His complexion was much paler than usual; he seemed drained.

"How long has it been?" Lily murmured.

"'Bout four hours," Sirius said, "It's nearly two in the morning."

Lily hugged her legs to her chest and rested her chin on knees. He tried to protect me, she thought, and he nearly died. "Why did he do it?" she asked.

"Do what?"
"Save me."

"What do you mean, why?" Sirius said incredulously.

"If he hadn't jumped in front of me, he wouldn't be lying-"

Sirius smiled softly, "James loves you; he would never have let anything happen to you."

"But he's been avoiding me."

"I know," he said, "but he was hurting."

Lily watched James breathing; his hair fluttered each time he exhaled. "It's all my fault." She whispered.

Sirius put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her towards him. "It is not," he said as she leaned against him, "You didn't make him run into the forest, and you meant well by going after him."

Lily was crying again. Silent tears spilled down her cheeks, soaking Sirius's shoulder. I almost forgot why he ran in the first place, she thought. "He's had a dreadful day."

Sirius chuckled. It sounded almost like a dog. Now I know where their stupid nicknames come from. Lily began to laugh too.

"Oi, when you've finished laughing at my pathetic state..." James croaked.

Lily and Sirius stopped laughing and looked at him. His eyes were open, though only halfway. His hands were on his chest, feeling the bandages, assessing the damage. He tried to sit up, but Sirius pushed him back onto the bed.

"You need to take it easy." he said.

James rolled his eyes and focused his attention on Lily. She was still crying, tears spilling silently down her cheeks. She seemed almost frightened as she watched him warily.

"How long have you been awake?" she choked.

"Long enough to hear you two giggling like drunken house elves. Why?" He wondered what they had really been laughing about. Together. He shook his head slightly to rid himself of the idea, but it only worsened his headache. He gasped and put his hands over his eyes.

"How bad is it?" he asked.

"I think they're transferring you to St. Mungo's." Sirius replied. He moved over and sat on the end of James's hospital bed, causing the mattress to groan and sink a few inches. He bounced up and down a few times and said, "I almost forgot how comfortable these things are."

James gave him a weak smile; every inch of him was sore.

"How many times does this make, mate?" Sirius said, grinning at James.

"Something like seventy-eight."

They fell silent and James looked at Lily again. She looked away.

"Why so quiet, Lily?" he said.

Lily only meant to glance at him, but she found his eyes boring into hers, and she was unable to look away. He wanted to know that it was okay, that she was okay. She wanted to know that he forgave her for being so difficult with him. Hazel and green, searching each other.

After a long minute, Sirius cleared his throat. Lily blushed and went back to looking at her hands, twisting them in her lap. James slumped onto his pillow and winced: he had a cramp in his side. He tried to stretch to ease the pain.

He gasped, and Lily and Sirius looked up in alarm. The bandages on his chest, which had begun to brown at the edges, were once more a sickening scarlet. A trickle of blood oozed from under the gauze. His wounds were bleeding afresh.

"M-madame Promfrey," Sirius stuttered as James's eyelids began to droop, "Madame Pomfrey!" He ran to her office and was about to pound on the door, when she opened it, a look of absolute horror on her face.

"What has happened?" she asked quietly, as she rushed to James's bedside.

"H-he... he only moved about an inch, but..."

Lily had never seen Sirius so upset. He seemed frightened. He stood next to James, holding his hand, as Madame Pomfrey removed the bandages. James had already lost consciousness, but this time he didn't seem to be sleeping peacefully. His breathing was growing more ragged.

Terrified, Lily was staring at James. She felt childish and stupid for having been worrying whether or not James had heard her conversation with Sirius. Now she worried that she might never have another conversation with James.

"Lily."

She was shaking.

"Lily."

She was rocking back and forth in her chair, her knees hugged tightly against her chest.

"Lily!"

Sirius's shout pulled her out of her dreadful thoughts. She stared at him, wide-eyed.

"Lily, you have to go get the Healers from Dumbledore's office." Sirius said. She glanced at his hand and noticed that his knuckles were white. "Lily, go get the Healers!"

Lily jumped and skittered across the Hospital Wing to the doors. She fumbled with the handle before finally pulling it open just enough to slip out into the deserted corridor. She made it to the stairs without being seen, and she raced up to the seventh floor.

By the time she reached the stone gargoyle that stood sentry at the entrance to Dumbledore's study, she was out of breath.

"Non proditor," she said, panting.

But the gargoyle did not step aside. It merely shook its head and waited for her to try something else.

"No, please!" Lily pleaded, "It's an emergency!"

The gargoyle did nothing.

"Please!" Lily was sobbing again, but she was angry. How were she and James ever supposed to report emergencies to Dumbledore if he did not inform them when he changed passwords? She punched the gargoyle.

"Now that's quite enough of that!" said the statue, offended.

"Evans!"

Lily instantly twisted around, only to find Mr. Filch, the caretaker, stalking toward her, looking gleeful.

"Even the Head Girl doesn't have permission to be out this late. And trying to break into the Headmaster's office?" He leered at her and looked at her bloody knuckles, "And you've been fighting with someone. We'll see how the Headmaster feels about this." He shuffled over to the gargoyle, shoving Lily out of the way and muttering something about "no excuses".

"Pepper Imp," said Filch, and the stone gargoyle complied, stepping aside and revealing the spiralling staircase. "Come."

Lily followed him, wondering vaguely why Dumbledore had suddenly chosen to use sweets as passwords, and feeling that, even if she did get a detention, it would be worth it to get to Professor Dumbledore and the Healers.

Filch knocked on the oak door.

"Entre," Dumbledore called.

As Filch opened the door, Lily pushed past him. Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, looking old and weary, and the Healers were seated in front of him. They all turned to face her and she felt her face go red. She thought that she must look like an complete mess.

"Professor," she said quickly, "James is getting worse. He needs-"

But the healers had already gotten to their feet. They nodded to Dumbledore and she stepped aside as they rushed past her and down the staircase.

Mr. Filch cleared his throat. "I caught this rule-breaker trying to break into your office, Headmaster. It appears she was in a fight." He grabbed Lily's hand to display her raw knuckles.

"I only hit the statue!" she said. Exasperated, she looked pleadingly at Dumbledore.

"Miss Evans had every reason to break down my door this evening, Argus." Dumbledore said.

"But-"

"That is all, Argus. I will speak to Lily myself."

It was a clear dismissal, and Filch turned his back on them. Muttering to himself again, he pulled the doors shut behind him as he shuffled out of the office.

Dumbledore waited until Filch's footsteps had died away before offering Lily a seat in front of his desk. She dropped into the seat, not caring whether she did so gracefully. She looked into Dumbledore's twinkling eyes and had the distinct feeling that they were X-raying her, looking into her. She straightened up in her chair as best as she could.

"Miss Evans, I believe that it goes without saying that what you have experienced in the last few hours has been truly terrifying." She gave him the smallest of nods, and he went on. "I must ask, however, that you keep the truth hidden."

She opened her mouth to ask what he meant by that, but Dumbledore held up a hand to silence her.

"I assume you have determined the identity of our resident werewolf?" he asked.

"Remus." she whispered.

Dumbledore inclined his head in her direction. "Remus Lupin is an exemplary student and a loyal friend. When he discovers what has taken place this evening, he will be very distressed, and he will, in all likelihood, blame himself. If it became common knowledge that he were a werewolf, and that he was involved in the events that took place tonight, he would be shunned by students and parents alike. He carries enough grief already."

"And why should people shun him?" Lily asked heatedly. There was a fiery gleam in her eyes. "Why can't Remus be himself? We love him no matter what he is, and we would still love him even if he turned into the giant squid once a month. I-"

Dumbledore held up his hand again. "I am very glad that you think so, Miss Evans, and I quite agree. But people are so very close-minded, and the thought of someone being part man and part beast unnerves them. We must keep Mr. Lupin's secret, as it is not ours to tell. Mr. Snape has also given his word-"

"Snape?" Lily interjected, "Severus Snape? What's he got to do with anything?"

"Like you, he has discovered the truth about Mr. Lupin."

"He knows? He... That's what he wanted to tell me." Lily sunk back into her chair.

"Please explain." Dumbledore said firmly.

"He... At the end of fifth year, we had a fight. He wrote to me over the summer – he was trying to get me to forgive him – and he said he had a big secret to tell me. Something about the Marauders..."

"Yes," Dumbledore's eyes seemed darker now. "Mr. Snape does, in fact know a great secret about them. He had suspected for a few years that Mr. Lupin's condition was serious, and he went looking for him one night during the full moon. Mr. Potter saved his life."

"James-" Lily paused, "Well, Snape was stupid." she said bluntly.

"While it is true that curiosity nearly killed the cat," Dumbledore chuckled slightly and Lily couldn't help but smile weakly, "it was not all his doing."

"What do you mean?"

"Perhaps that is a question for your friends. Now, I think we should join the others in the Hospital Wing."

Lily cursed herself for having almost forgotten why she had come to Dumbledore in the first place. She waited for him at the door, and together they made their way back to the third floor.

When they arrived, there was chaos.

The Healers were sprinting back and forth, between Madame Pomfrey's office and James's bed. Each time one of them re-emerged from the office, they brought with them a new elixir, a new potion, a new incantation. Dumbledore rushed to join them, but nothing seemed to be working. They were all wearing rubber gloves, which Lily assumed had once been blue, but which were now a strange reddish violet, and some of their white robes were smeared with blood.

Sirius was still standing protectively over his best friend, gripping his hand and glaring at the Healers each time James unconsciously winced. Lily rushed to his side, only to take a step back when she realised that tears were leaking slowly from his eyes. She put a hand on his arm, hoping to comfort him in some way, but he did not seem to notice. Why am I so useless, Lily thought.

It all happened in a matter of seconds.

James's pale hand seemed to go limp. The nearest Healer pressed his fingers to James's neck and shouted something about "code blue". Sirius let out a pained howl as, suddenly, the Healers, Madame Pomfrey, and Dumbledore converged by the bed all at once, forcing him out of the way. He fought to get back to James's side, but then they were gone.