Kurt Hummel has had bad past experiences when it comes to relationships; he knew what it was like to develop feelings for someone who casts it off as nothing. First he had that crush on Finn which he knew was a lost cause to begin with however he still pursued to the extent that Finn had to yell at him in order for Kurt to see that it was a lost cause. Then Sam came into the picture; he was cute, Kurt honestly thought that he was gay—Sam ended up pursuing Quinn. Then Kurt met Blaine, the first other gay kid he had actually spoken to. Kurt obviously fell for the boy straight away and deluded himself into thinking that Blaine reciprocated his feelings. Watching the boy he loved serenade someone other than himself was probably the hardest thing Kurt could have done.
It worked out though—Blaine finally realised his feelings really weren't platonic and he kissed Kurt—he really kissed Kurt, Kurt wasn't going to complain in fact he was pretty ecstatic. So Kurt knew, he knew how Cameron would feel at the moment. When it had happened to Kurt, Kurt wanted nothing more than just someone to talk to—to understand him. Which is why Kurt was now currently sat with Cameron alone at a lunch table, he wanted Cameron to talk to him.
Cameron, however, was still awkward about his feelings, he knew that he loved Damian but he was honestly afraid of stepping up to those feelings—of doing something about it.
"All I'm saying is that I waited for Blaine to come to terms with his feelings—through that time I had my heart broken again and again by that boy" Kurt rolled his eyes. Cameron looked sadly at Kurt.
"Why didn't you just give up on him?" Cameron asked, Kurt's eyes softened and his lip quirked in a smile.
"I just couldn't—I knew that his stupid face was the one that I wanted to wake up to everyday, I wanted him and just him" Kurt muttered dotingly more to himself than to Cameron. Cameron suddenly felt very out of place. "I spent months trying to be something that I thought Blaine would want to win him over" Kurt admitted "I wasn't true to myself—the one time I acted like myself Blaine realised he loved me" Kurt smiled to himself.
Cameron listened closely—his eyes furrowed in confusion, he raised a hand to scratch his neck. "Yeah, but I've always acted like myself to Damian" It was true, Cameron acted more like himself to Damian than he did to anyone else he knew. Damian was the only person to see the real him—the only person that Cameron could really turn to. That's when it hit Cameron. He needed Damian. He needed him in his life—whether just friend or boyfriend he just couldn't live without the Irish boy.
Cameron placed his head in his hands, shielding this sudden raw emotion from the outside world, Kurt's eyes softened and he put a hand on Cameron's head, stroking his hair softly for reassurance. "When you think of the future who do you picture yourself with?" Kurt whispered softly to the saddened boy. Cameron lifted his head up and caught Kurt's eyes.
"Him" Cameron muttered under his breath, Kurt said nothing; he only nodded. Cameron honestly did see himself with Damian—the vision was blurry but it was still there, he and Damian would just be sat in their apartment being complete dorks as they always were. They would still be amazing friends; they'd still have that special connection.
"Kurt!" Both Cameron's and Kurt's heads turned round to see Blaine grinning cheerfully at both of them—Blaine's smile faltered however as he received a stern look from Kurt. The curly haired boy suddenly looked extremely sheepish at interrupting this moment.
"Gee, did I come at the wrong time or something" He asked with clueless concern, Kurt laughed fondly at the boy and rolled his eyes towards Cameron. The brunette put a hand comfortably on Cameron's arm.
"You're obviously not ready to tell him your feelings yet—you've only just figured them out yourself" Kurt explained, Cameron murmured in agreement. "Just act on instinct—when you're ready, the feelings will just burst. Like an explosion—you'll just feel the need to tell him, you'll get a massive urge to see him and you have to act on that. Right then and there; just tell him you love him, bite the bullet." Kurt remarked with a wink. Kurt patted Cameron on the shoulder once more and took Blaine's hand in his; both boy's said goodbye to the blonde kid and they walked away together holding hands.
Kurt was long gone when his words finally sank in—the feelings just seemed all the more real to Cameron now. He definitely had a problem. Even more so when Damian sauntered into the room with Quinn on his arm; suddenly Cameron seemed to feel slightly sick.
"Cam!" Damian exclaimed with a smile, Cameron flinched slightly at the happy tone—it'd help if Damian wasn't so nice to him, if Damian were even a fraction mean to him then at least Cameron could see that as a turn off. But he wasn't. He couldn't ever be. He's just happy-go-lucky Damian who can make a positive situation out of anything.
"I haven't seen you around much" Cameron did everything he could to avoid Damian's gaze, he could feel the boy's eyes just staring at him and it was really unnerving.
"Yeah—well I've been pretty swamped with work and stuff" Cameron muttered, Damian eyed him cautiously. He looked at Quinn and whispered something into her ear, Cameron felt even queasier. Quinn nodded at Damian and kissed him on the cheek—was it too late for Cameron to just run out of the room?—and she left both of them alone on the table.
"Stop lying to me Cam." Damian's tone had turned harsher causing Cameron to look at him. His eyes were cold and blank they didn't have the familiar warmth that caused Cameron's heart to race uncontrollably. Cameron looked away swiftly—unable to stand that hard stare any longer. "You can't even look me in the eye right now" Damian muttered. Cameron's heart panged.
That's because I'm in love with you.
"That's because I'm just tired—like I said before I'm swamped with work" Cameron replied stoically. Damian's cold stare narrowed in disbelief, Cameron was starting to feel incredibly uncomfortable with the Irish boy.
"You've been avoiding me since I sang with Quinn" Damian said, a hurt tone was evident in his voice. He sighed "I miss you". Cameron felt like crying—was he honestly doing this right now? It's like Damian knew just what to say to make his heart hurt more.
"I miss my best friend, Cam" And there it was. That heavy feeling in Cameron's heart arrived once more. Best friend. He felt disappointed hearing those words; which was stupid because he knew that Damian only thought of him as a friend, why wouldn't he?
"Just say something" Damian asked—his voice shaking with utter need to hear his friend speak, he just needed to hear Cameron's voice for reassurance, for comfort. Cameron sniffed sharply—his heart felt way too heavy at the moment, he shook his head slowly.
"I can't" Cameron whispered lightly—so lightly that Damian could barely catch it. Cameron moved to stand up however Damian's hand reached out and grabbed his arm—preventing him from moving any further.
Their eyes locked to one another and Cameron gave him a heart-wrenching stare, his eyes filled with pain, with anguish, with desperation—Damian honestly felt like crying just from looking at this emotion so evident—so raw in front of him that the tension in the atmosphere doubled.
"I can't" Cameron muttered louder this time, he shrugged Damian's hand off his arm and left Damian, once again, alone at the lunch table.