He'd been naïve, Gibbs realized, to think that everything would be okay once Tony opened his eyes. It had been a moment of elation and excitement that had him uncharacteristically close to shouting with joy. Instead, he'd handled it calmly, had quietly and soothingly stroked his hand through DiNozzo's hair, letting his agent know that he was there, watching as the terror in the expressive green eyes dwindled down to calm, watched as eyelids fluttered heavily and finally stayed shut.
After that, he'd assumed, everything would be okay. Everything would be okay because Tony was alive and Tony was Tony, so beyond that, nothing really mattered all that much. He would get better and he would come back to work.
A week later, Gibbs realized just how naïve he had been.
He'd been gone for 15 minutes. Run to the bathroom, grab a fresh coffee, return to his senior agent's bedside. Not enough time for things to get bad, not enough time for DiNozzo's delicate condition to deteriorate even further. And yet, hurrying towards his agent's room, Gibbs could hear the hacking coughs and the gasps for air, and he swallowed convulsively. He knew what he would see when he got into the room.
DiNozzo had started fighting the vent a few days earlier, and the doctors had agreed that it would be best if he started breathing on his own and was able to cough out the crap that had taken up stubborn residence inside his lungs. It was working like a charm. It seemed like Tony hadn't stopped coughing in days.
"Hey, hey, I'm here DiNozzo," Gibbs said, slipping into the room. Tony was hunched forward in the bed, face red and scrunched with pain. A line of red-tinged saliva dripped from his mouth and into the emesis basin the nurse was holding in front of him. Gibbs eased himself behind the senior agent and took over for the nurse thumping his back, helping him cough. He let out a sigh of relief when a glob of green and red mucus finally slid into the basin and DiNozzo sank backwards into Gibbs.
"There you go. Nice job, Tony," Gibbs said, running his hand over DiNozzo's hot forehead.
"Th-thanks, Boss," Tony whispered, and Gibbs grinned. It was the first really coherent thing Tony had said since getting off the ventilator, and it brought a pang of joy and relief with it.
As DiNozzo drifted off to sleep, Gibbs finally allowed himself to really think about the man's condition. His lungs had been severely affected by the ordeal, and there was a large measure of uncertainty around his long-term prognosis. It was entirely possible that DiNozzo would not be coming back to NCIS after this one, that his lungs were simply too fragile now, that he would have to get a desk job somewhere, one that didn't involve the stress and strain that came with being an active field agent. Gibbs frowned at the thought, stroking a hand absently over the sleeping agent's hand.
The next day brought some improvement, with DiNozzo's fever dropping somewhat and the coughing starting to subside, though not as much as the doctors would have liked. It also meant that Tony was getting restless.
There was some reprieve when Tim came in to visit; Gibbs suspected that the two men had needed to talk for a while now, and he left to give them a bit of privacy, pacing the hallway with a cup of coffee.
Tony had asked him earlier if he could leave the hospital, and it was a decision that Gibbs found surprisingly difficult to make. DiNozzo had been through this before, this coughing and hacking routine, and the hospital did little to make it more tolerable, just nurses pounding on his back and an oxygen mask on his face.
DiNozzo could probably get better more quickly if he was in a place he felt comfortable, and Gibbs had no problem with helping him recuperate. But if something were to go wrong, if something happened to Tony when he was out of the hospital with Gibbs, he wasn't sure he would be able to forgive himself. Ever.
So when Tim came out smiling and laughing and Gibbs went back in, greeted by a cheekily grinning, if slightly gaunt Tony, he wasn't sure what to do, emotions boiling inside him.
"So Gibbs," DiNozzo said, peering intently at the man he'd come to consider a father. Gibbs' indecision must have been apparent, as Tony immediately frowned. "Come on, Boss," he said, and his tone wasn't whining, but firm. Maybe bordering on panicked.
"I need to get out of here." Gibbs made no move, no reply, waiting for his senior agent to offer some kind of explanation.
"I was stuck in a car, unable to move, for three days. I was on a ventilator for a week. I need to get out of the freaking hospital and into someplace where I can breathe, Gibbs, where I can move if I want to, where I can-where I can live." He trailed off, coughing, and Gibbs didn't miss the tears rolling down his cheeks, the shaking hand that he brought to his mouth.
"The doctor has to say yes, and you have to stay with me. No arguments, Tony, you understand me?" Tony nodded, letting out a relieved sigh, and Gibbs stalked off to find a doctor.
xxxx
It wasn't all that hard to convince Brad to let Tony stay with Gibbs. As long as they took DiNozzo's antibiotics with them, had an oxygen tank on hand, as long as Gibbs knew what to do, they should be okay. The hospital had mostly been for monitoring his condition anyway, and when Gibbs explained Tony's slight meltdown, Brad had agreed that it was for the better to get DiNozzo out of there.
And so it was that Gibbs found himself pushing Tony down the hall in a wheelchair, his car already loaded with the things they would need, Tim and Abby walking alongside him, Abby chattering away. Tony was smiling wearily, eyes lit up for the first time since this whole crapshoot had started, and Gibbs knew instinctively that he had made the right choice.
They stepped into Gibbs' house, Tony slowly shuffling through the doorway with Gibbs directly behind him, one hand on his elbow. A sudden shout of 'surprise,' and Tony looked up, tears in his eyes, as a group of people appeared, gifts and flowers and cards in hand, a cake on the table and a banner suspended on the wall. Ducky and Jimmy and Cynthia and Ziva, even Vance and his family, Brad, a few nurses, even a guy from his frat that he hadn't seen in years. It was overwhelming and he faltered a bit, Gibbs gently easing him onto the couch with a smile.
"They're here for you, DiNozzo," Gibbs whispered, and Tony nodded, speechless. "They're here because you're a damn good agent, and they care about you."
"Thanks, Boss," Tony answered, sniffling lightly. "Now how about some cake?"
xxxx
A/N: Sorry this took forever! I've been a bit stuck about where to go with this…I think I know what I'm doing now, and there's still some Tony whump ahead. I'll try to post the next chapter super soon as a peace offering for taking a billion years.