Chapter 11- The Burdens We Bear

"The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that." -Woody Allen

"I don't believe it." Suga's words were soft, his eyes wide as he stared at the brunet god who scowled in front of him.

"Don't sound so shocked!" Oikawa scolded, letting his pout only rest for a moment before a look edged with sadness filled his features. "I didn't know about any of this, of course. I was young, and didn't know yet of my future as the god of lust. I thought she just liked to spend time with me and Iwa-chan because she always said we were amusing to watch interact. I thought we were...friends."

"You didn't love her back, did you?" Suga's words were filled with sympathy, and Hinata watched the other god glance away to stare out the window of his room.

"I couldn't. I was in love with someone else." He said it with a careless tone, but Hinata could see the slight wince under the brown gaze. "It was a male god, and that made me keep it to myself. I never told him, of course. When Ukai and Takeda took over, I felt like there was a chance I could be with him. So I went to her, hoping to get some advice in how to tell him. But when I did, she became upset. She confessed to me, and asked me to give up on him to be with her. I declined, of course, thinking she'd understand it was impossible to simply unlove someone."

"She didn't?" It was hard for Hinata to comprehend the slow shake of the god of lust's head. Being the current god of love, all he believed in would have made him think the woman would have stepped back. Love wasn't a switch; it was something intricate and too beautiful to simply throw away. He tried to think of how he would have reacted being her in predicament, knowing the person he loved was in love with someone else. At first he felt conflicted, not having first hand experience with his own love life. Unconsciously his eyes flickered over to Kageyama. If Kageyama found someone he loved…

"Then what did she do?" Suga's question brought Hinata away from the dangerous thought, Oikawa not answering right away. Delicate fingers twitched by his side before lifting to run through his hair, brown eyes doing their best to hide his dismay.

"She tried to kill him." The words left Hinata speechless, his eyes wide even as Oikawa continued. "Ukai was able to stop her before she completed the task, of course. But before he could strip her of her title, she made sure I'd never forget her."

"Did she try to kill you, as well?"

"Nope, that would have been easy to deal with." He replied to Suga's question so casually, yet it was quite clear the memory still haunted him. The uncaring facade he used felt misplaced, refusing to meet either of their gazes. "Remember these words, Oikawa Tooru. The one who holds your heart will never return your feelings. This is my final curse as the goddess of love. That was the last thing she said before Ukai dethroned her."

"She used the curse of the unloved." Hinata had only heard of it, never once feeling the need to use it. Like Takeda's power of a soulbreak, "the unloved curse" was a method that could be implemented by the god of love in dire circumstances. The person who had the curse casted on them would never be loved by the one they cared the most for. Humans knew it first as 'unrequited love', though myths of the real curse had been watered down and forgotten with time. It was an old and cruel option that had no right to be made, nevermind used.

"No matter how many times I offer myself to the person that I love, he never returns my affection."

"You've asked him?" Suga asked, a tint of skepticism in his eyes even as Tooru answered.

"I didn't have to; he only sees me as a comrade or even an annoyance." At the description, Hinata blinked, his head tilting slightly to the side.

"That kind of sounds like-"

"What did you do this time, idiot?" Iwaizumi's loud voice boomed in the spacious room as he pushed the teal curtain from his entrance, his eyes showing his obvious annoyance with the god of lust. "Why the hell are you dragging humans into your temper tantrum? You know what your powers do to them, or do I have to remind you with my fist in your face?"

"Iwa-chan! Are you the one who let these two in to ruin my fun?" The playful change in Oikawa's personality was rapid, but didn't distract Hinata from a sudden observation.

"You're in love with Hajime-san?!" The realization stunned the whole room, Hinata's feet rushing toward the guardian even as Oikawa moved to give a joking answer.

"I'd love to get in Iwa-chan's pants, if that's what you mean."

"No, I mean you're not cursed." Oikawa looked like he was choking on air at Hinata's response, the god of love lifting Iwaizumi's wrist with a tilted head. "You can't get cursed if you're connected by a true love thread. That's how it works with the humans, though I've never seen a God soulmate thread-"

"What thread? There's no soulmate thread between us."

"Wait, you really can't see it? It's right here!" To try and prove his point, Hinata tapped on the string, seeing it sway between the two. But when neither god reacted, the spiker's mouth dropped in awe. "You can't see it. I mean, I didn't see it appear until you two were in the same room. Suga and Daichi's was the same way; I only saw the connection to Suga when Daichi entered the gym. Before that, there was no sign of Suga having a thread. I wonder... is it just a god thing? Maybe I can't see the threads unless we're on earth! And maybe...gods can't see their own threads? Woah, that means Ukai and Takeda could really be soulmates after all!"

"What the hell is he talking about?" Iwaizumi glanced over to Oikawa, whose face held a look of panic.

"B-But I'm cursed. I'm cursed."

"You can't be; there's a soulmate thread. You know that if there's a pink soulmate bond, then nothing can break it. That includes curses," Hinata argued back, his irritation rising when Oikawa continued to shake his head. The feeling of anger was quick to evaporate when the god of love caught the glimmer of tears in the eyes of Oikawa. Trying to hide it, the brunet swiped his palms over his eyes, though more tears replaced their fallen brethren.

"This isn't possible. Hajime can't be my soulmate. He ca-can't be."

"What the hell..." Hinata's hand was dropped to his side when Iwaizumi shook the hold off, his sigh soft as he moved across the room to his now trembling friend. Iwaizumi stopped in front of him, his scowl lacking true annoyance as he grabbed the chin of his slightly taller partner. "Are you going to tell me what's got you so upset, or do I have to knock some sense into you first?"

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa sniffled out, his eyes blurry with tears and his voice nasally. Cheeks splotchy from crying, the god of lust looked a mess as he faced the guardian in front of him. "Is it true?"

"Is what true? I don't know what anyone of you are talking about," Iwaizumi griped out, nearly falling back when Oikawa launched himself into the man's chest. Lanky arms were wrapped around Iwaizumi's shoulders, Oikawa pressing his forehead into Iwaizumi's neck.

"Do you really love me?"

"Who would love an idiot like you?!"

"Hajime." The taller god pulled back to look at Iwaizumi, his lips wavering as he tried to keep from crying again. The guardian's eyes widened for a moment, remaining silent as Oikawa spoke tearfully. "I've been in love with you since we were little kids. I love you and I don't want to sleep with anyone but you ever again. Even if you've got weird hair and you always grit your teeth when you sleep, I love you. Iwa-chan, I really really love-"

"Could you be any more embarrassing?" Groaning, Iwaizumi pressed his hand to his face to try and cover it. Despite this, the guardian yanked Oikawa into his chest again, wrapping his other arm around the brunet's back. Oikawa blinked for a second, the dark haired man yanking his palm away to glare at his friend. The look was soon lost when Iwaizumi leaned up, pressing a quick kiss to Oikawa's lips. It was lacking finesse or length, but the implication behind the movement was only emphasized when Iwaizumi's cheeks darkened once pulling away, his lips instantly dropping to a scowl. "If I didn't love you, do you think I'd put up with all your shit? Seriously, find your brain-"

"Iwa-chan!" The cheerful chirp from Oikawa came seconds before he rushed to kiss the guardian again, Iwaizumi managing to steady them by firmly gripping the god of lust's hips. The kiss was deeper than the first, Oikawa refusing to pull away until he was sure the other man's lips would be puffy and bruised.

"Do you think they forgot about us?" Hinata's question made Suga laugh, the two admiring the new couple from a distance.

"Give them a minute, they'll remember." Before the god of love could reply, a groan wavered through the air, catching their attention. It only took a second to realize who it came from, brown eyes wide as he glanced back to the couch. The once silent Kageyama was curled into himself on the couch, his heavy breathing paired with a trickle of sweat running down his face. Panicked, Hinata rushed across the room, his knees jabbing into the cushions of the couch while he pressed his hands to the setter's face. The normally pale skin was hot and clammy, Kageyama letting out a hiss when the god moved his hand under his bangs.

"Kageyama? Kageyama, can you hear me?" Hinata's voice shook with fear, his head lifting to Oikawa when the man only curled into himself more. "What's going on with him?"

"Opps." The response didn't help calm the orange haired god, Oikawa waving the glare away before leaning into Iwaizumi's chest and sighing. "It's been awhile since I've had a human actually refuse my advances, so I completely forgot about the side effects."

"What side effects, Asskawa?" For good measure, the guardian smacked the back of Oikawa's head, making him whine before he pouted.

"No need to be violent to the one you so deeply love, Iwa-chan!"

"Then spill."

"Fine, fine. When someone fights against my pheromones for long periods of time, it puts a lot of sexual pressure onto their body. Tobio-kun lasted longer than any other being, human or not, has. I'd be impressed if I wasn't so offended that he refused me."

"Tooru, what's going to happen next?" Suga asked, Hinata's hands cupping the shivering man's face. Hoping to ease the furrow in his forehead, the god of love stroked Kageyama's cheeks with his thumbs, though he kept his ears open for Oikawa's reply.

"Well, for starters, he'll look for something to release his 'pressure' with. Which means that chibi-chan should really be careful."

"Me?" Hinata's head lifted for a second to watch Oikawa shrug, the god of lust leading Iwazumi toward the exit of the room.

"He was able to resist me because I wasn't the one he truly wanted." The comment was followed by the departure of Oikawa, yanking his scowling lover behind the fluttering teal curtain. Unsure how to take the information given by the sultry god, Hinata peered down at his roommate.

"Should we bring him home?" At Hinata's question, Suga shook his head, showing his own concern with his softened voice.

"If Oikawa didn't kick us out of the room, it's probably best to stay put."

"Do you think they have something to help cool him down?"

"I'm sure the bar has ice packs or at least a cloth we can soak for his head." After Suga's response, the man quietly glanced to the door before back at Hinata. "Though after what Oikawa said, I'm not sure I should be leaving you alone with him."

"I'll be okay!" Giving Suga a thumbs up, Hinata flexed his arm and grinned. "If he tries anything, I'll beat him up."

"Try not to hurt him too much, muscle man. We still need him for the team," Suga teased, laughing before he ruffled Hinata's hair. "I'll be right back, okay?"

"Grab some water too; he may want to wash the taste of Oikawa out of his mouth." The only response he got was a smile and a shake of Suga's head before the fertility god moved from the room, Hinata letting his grin fade away. Slowly his eyes dropped back to Kageyama, whose back had stiffened in obvious discomfort. Hoping to ease some of the man's pain, Hinata wiggled behind him, gently coaxing Kageyama into an easier position. Kageyama's back lost all its tension when the god placed his hand against it, Hinata soothing the heated skin with slow circles.

Sighing while pressing his forehead to Kageyama's shoulder blade, the small spiker thought back to Oikawa and Kageyama's conversation. Why hadn't Kageyama denied the god of lust's claim about wanting Hinata? Though the two had become closer through the past few weeks, it didn't mean that the setter saw him as anything more than a roommate. He would consider it a win if the artist called him his friend. They were partners by circumstances neither could really control. Yet even as Hinata thought about all the reasons that his roommate could deny anything between them, the memories of their achievements also flooded his brain. Kageyama hadn't turned his back on Hinata when finding out what he was. The setter opened about his past failings with love. The closeness of working as partners on the court and for Hinata's mission had allowed Kageyama to drop some of his defenses around him. And the physical intimacy between them seemed to grow with each milestone. So then what didKageyama think of Hinata?

And what did Hinata think of Kageyama?

"This is confusing," Hinata mumbled softly, his fingers slowing their quiet patterns on the taller man's back. He closed his eyes tight, disliking the confusion that was clouding his mind. It made his head feel fuzzy, like he was looking through a unfocused lens. The answered were there, but he couldn't decipher them.

"Ugh." The displeased noise that entered the air made Hinata tense, the god opening his eyes to watch Kageyama's consciousness slowly return. Not being able to see the man's face, Hinata pushed up onto his arm, peeking over the setter's shoulder. Blue eyes started to flutter open, a relieved sigh falling from the god.

"Kageyama!" He felt the tensing of the body in front of him, a sudden shudder from Kageyama making the spiker snap his mouth close. Had he been too loud? The setter was just waking up from Oikawa's power trip. But one look back to Kageyama's face sucked the relief from Hinata. The artist's eyes were half-lidded with a familiar daze. The warning from Oikawa passed through Hinata's mind a second before his world tilted, the god gasping when his back was pressed into the couch beneath him. A overheated body was pressed between his legs, Hinata's ears turning red at the intimate position.

And then, Kageyama was kissing him. The eager mouth of the setter was pressed against his own, Hinata's whole body freezing at the action. The big claims he had used with Suga went out the window instantly, fear making him forget how to even breathe. The murky fog that had earlier shrouded his mind was thickened by the actions, Hinata's throat producing a soft gasp when feeling strong hands sliding under his shirt. Kageyama's mouth barely left his own to suck in a quick breath before it claimed the spiker's lips again. The tongue that slipped along Hinata's lower lip sent a shiver down the god's spine, his hands grasping the back of Kageyama's shirt instantly. He wasn't sure if he had intended to push Kageyama away or pull him closer, all train of thought wilting when the setter's fingers dragged down his sensitive ribcage. Mouth parting in a reflexive moan granted the lust-induced man access to Hinata's mouth, and he didn't waste time pressing his tongue inside to explore.

The intensity of the kiss was only matched by the sharp rock of Kageyama's hips, the shock of pleasure twining with fear in Hinata's chest. But Hinata wasn't scared for himself. Despite how the artist had initiated the intimacy, it wasn't on his own accord. Oikawa's power had pushed him to his limit. And even if he had refused to get involved with the older god, that didn't mean he wanted this impromptu makeout with Hinata. As the dark haired man's fingers made Hinata arch into their teasing touch, the guilt crept into Hinata's mind enough to disperse some of the earlier confusion. The kisses and touches were being expressed through Kageyama's body, but it wasn't Kageyama inside. This was just a side effect. Hinata didn't want to kiss a lust-induced human.

Hinata wanted to kiss Kageyama.

His mouth was filled with another lingering kiss, making it hard for Hinata to focus on stopping the sex-fueled make out. Leaning up to return the kiss felt natural despite the lack of history in kissing someone, Hinata allowing his hands to reach up and cup Kageyama's face. Yanking back, Hinata's eyes glowed as he angled the setter's face to look at him. Once catching the unclear blue gaze, the god leaned forward, speaking softly.

"I know this isn't you right now. But it's okay; I know you're in there. And I'm not going anywhere until you're able to beat this. Because you're not just my partner, but my roommate, my friend and…I want..." There was a rush of embarrassment in his face after the admission, Hinata's heart rate accelerating as he took a shaky swallow. "I'm here. No matter what, I'll always be here for you, Kageyama. You don't need a soulmate to understand you; you have me."

Then slowly, Hinata leaned up and initiated a kiss. It held none of the passion or sultry undertones of the previous kisses. Hinata refused to be an object that Kageyama used as a pressure release. He wanted Kageyama to kiss him as Hinata, and nothing else. He continued to press his soft kiss to the setter's lips, hoping his plan would work. Despite not being connected by a bond, Hinata prayed his aura could still affect Kageyama. If it did, the softness of his romance aura could counteract the aggressive nature of lust. With the lust gone, Kageyama would return to normal, and Hinata would have his roommate back. Tightening his eyes in a prayer, Hinata hoped his aura would work between the two despite the lack of emotional intimacy.

So when Kageyama returned the gentle kiss of the god, the tension that had built into Hinata's shoulders dissolved. His hands never left Kageyama's face, enjoying the leisure kiss that was being shared between the two. His body hummed in a way he hadn't felt before, losing any trace of his previous fear. The hands which had been roaming his body had retreated, warm palms cradling the slim waist of the god. The touch felt protective, not sexual, and Hinata's back melted into the cushion as he allowed Kageyama to lay him back on the couch. The kisses were slow, Hinata's stomach pooling with warmth from the feeling of Kageyama's tongue pressing against his own. Gone was the frantic rutting and rushed need. The god's mouth felt sore with each new kiss, and his body was tired from exerting so much of his power for a prolonged time. Still he answered the questing lips over his, kissing Kageyama again and again. There was a sweet taste to the mouth against his that the spiker couldn't name. It was good, though, and Hinata tilted his head back to deepen the kiss.

He didn't know how much time passed between them. When Kageyama pulled back slowly, it took Hinata few seconds to open his gaze again. He could feel the last sparks of power sizzling out from his gaze, an overwhelming need to sleep hitting him. Still he forced his eye open, watching as the dark blue stare above him finally cleared. A few slow blinks was all Kageyama could muster before he sunk to the side of the couch next to Hinata, proving the toll of the two dueling powers had exhausted him. Hinata yawned silently as his eyes closed again, snuggling to the heat of Kageyama's body as sleep started to claim him. The arm that draped over his waist was the last thing Hinata felt before falling victim to his dreams.

When Hinata had woken up on the couch at Oikawa's now closed club, it had taken him a second to realize where he was. It took one look at the sleeping setter next to him for his memories to kick in. Noya and Asahi, the truth behind Oikawa, and then the kiss came flooding through his mind. Everything felt like a dream, yet there was no other reason for their slumber on the uncomfortable furniture. He kissed Kageyama. Not only did he kiss him, but he enjoyed it. Just thinking about it had the spiker's heart jumping into his throat. And he didn't know how to face his roommate when he woke up.

Except when Kageyama finally opened his eyes, he remembered nothing. The confused setter simply asked what had happened, not remembering his entering of the club. He barely remembered the practice the day before, which worried Hinata. Had Kageyama hit his head without Hinata knowing? That thought went out the window when Oikawa moseyed into the room, not seeming surprised by Kageyama's amnesia. Pulling the smaller man to the side while Iwaizumi introduced himself, the god of lust explained the lost memories to Hinata.

Sometimes my powers cause some side effects. Tobio-kun probably won't remember what happened for a few days, so it'll give you time to explain whatever happened between the two of you. Hope it wasn't too naughty, chibi-chan.

How Oikawa knew about their kiss, HInata wasn't sure. He wanted to deny it, but the knowing look in the brunet's eyes proved it would be futile. Instead the small god kept close to Oikawa, making sure the man didn't spill the secret. It seemed the man had no interest in telling the human setter, convincing Iwaizumi to take the duo to breakfast. The god of love had been sure the guardian wouldn't have money, nearly choking on his own spit when the man rolled his eyes and yanked out a very human wallet. Sharing a meal with the god of lust was weird to Hinata, yet Oikawa seemed to hold none of the same tension. He was content sneaking bacon off of Iwaizumi's plate and making fun of Kageyama's bed hair, a much different atmosphere around him.

The bright pink soulmate string caught Hinata's eye a few times as the two older gods bickered over another pointless topic. Seeing the first soulmate string between two gods looked identical to a human bond. He wasn't sure why he thought it would be different. It felt different, like something had changed in the rules of love. He always thought that gods could have soulmates, but this was the proof. Two full fledged gods were soulmates. And even if he hated the way Oikawa continued to call him 'chibi-kun', he was happy for his fellow gods.

Once breakfast was over, Oikawa and Iwaizumi decided to leave. But before the god of lust departed, the brunet gave a quiet look to Hinata that made the shorter god step back. Tooru's eyes were filled with a secret that his lips didn't want to part with. Instead, the tall man shrugged, leaning forward to flick Hinata's forehead.

"Good luck with your little love mess. Come find me if you can't figure out what to do, Chibi-kun."

And before Hinata could ask what he meant, the god was gone.

"It's too bad that Oikawa had to go back so soon, I really wanted to watch him serve again." The freckled brunet's statement made Hinata frown, his eyes glued to the small TV in front of them. Though much smaller than the one in his own apartment, the screen was still clear enough for Hinata to see the two men wrestling in the colorful ring.

"Trust me, it's better off he went home," Hinata muttered, disliking the slight flip in his stomach. It had been constant throughout the day, the god of love doing his best to ignore it. He blamed the feeling on Oikawa's weird goodbye, never understanding the other god. The feeling only increased whenever he thought of Kageyama, Hinata yanking the fuzzy blanket on his lap closer to him.

"Speaking of home, can I ask you a question?" Hinata glanced over to Yamaguchi, who kept a kind look to his face as he spoke. "Did something happen with you and Kageyama? You never come over here unless you're hiding from something."

"I-I'm not hiding! I just missed you guys."

"Of course, I don't mind company!" At Yamaguchi's reassurance, Hinata smiled, though the look quickly disappeared when a snort came from the kitchen.

"I do." The blonde roommate made sure to give a pointed glare to Hinata, who scowled at the grumpy look.

"Don't be like that, Tsukki. You won't be home tonight anyways. You're going out for dinner with Akiteru-san, remember?"

"You should be coming, as well," Tsukishima answered, pushing his glasses up his nose and frowning. "My brother claims to miss you, and he's much more tolerable when you're there."

"Ah, sorry! But I've got too much homework." To prove his point, the pinch server lifted his book from his lap and gave his displeased roommate an apologetic smile. "Make sure to tell him I said hello."

"I won't."

"Tsukki..."

"Tsukishima has a brother?" Hinata asked, not waiting for the snarky reply from the blocker to continue. "What's he like? Nicer than him, I bet."

"He's nosey and annoying, like someone else I know." Despite Tsukishima's mean description, Yamaguchi clapped his hands together and gave his own answer.

"He's nice to me, and really funny! He's always treated me like a little brother."

"But you're not his family," Tsukishima answered, Hinata's head popping up when hearing a slight bite to the man's tone.

"What's wrong with Yamaguchi liking your brother?"

"I'm going to be late." The blatant way the archeology student ignored him made Hinata's face burn in anger, making sure to shout his protest even when Tsukishima turned his back to the couch. "Don't let Hinata distract your from your studies, Yamaguchi."

"I hope a bird poops on your head!" Hinata's words didn't seem to affect the man who was now walking out of the apartment, making the spiker huff and drop back onto the couch. Yamaguchi laughed at the frustrated look of his friend, though quieted himself to look back to the textbook he was studying from. Grumbling on the couch, Hinata turned his attention back onto the TV. "Why does he have to be such an ass?"

"He's a good person once you get to know him," Yamaguchi replied, scribbling something into his notebook. Not lifting his head from the homework, the freckled man continued. "Though I get why you didn't want to talk about avoiding Kageyama while Tsukki was here."

"I'm not-"

"You were acting really weird at practice today." Caught off guard by the observation, Hinata's ears went pink as Yamaguchi peeked up over the pages of his book.

"I...we…"

"You couldn't hit most of his passes, and whenever he yelled at you, your face got all red." There was a time when Hinata admired the observation skills of the pinch server. Now, he wished the man was blind. The kind man pushed the book off his lap as he turned to Hinata, hoping his soft voice would ease the tense man. "Hinata, did something happen with Kageyama?"

"It's all Oikawa's fault!" The words escaped Hinata's mouth before he could catch them, both pairs of eyes widening at the sudden confession. Yamaguchi was quick to recover, scrambling over the couch to lean closer to his teammate.

"What happened?"

"He...got Kageyama drunk," Hinata answered, eyes glancing down to the fidgeting fingers in his lap. The god knew it was the closest explanation he could give for the truth, as Oikawa's powers tended to leave people feeling buzzed. The long exposure to the pheromones simply intoxicated Kageyama, though it didn't make it easier for Hinata to explain the after affects. "Things got a little out of hand and then...we kissed."

"Kageyama kissed you?!"

"Uh, well, he kissed me first. But then I...kissed him back?" Hoping his face wasn't as red as it felt, Hinata's hands clamped together tightly, eyes bright as he thought back to the night in question. "It was all kind of a blur, and he couldn't remember anything this morning. Not to mention I'm not sure he really wanted to kiss me-"

"Was it weird, kissing your roommate?" The god of love didn't give a second thought to the answer passing through his lips.

"It felt right." Hinata lifted his head at the answer, Yamaguchi's face riddled with contrasting emotions. Though his lips were pulled into a smile, there was a shine to his eyes that reflected a more somber emotion. What was going through Yamaguchi's mind? Hoping to re-direct the conversation away from the weird rumble in his stomach, the spiker turned his body to fully face Yamaguchi. "Have you ever thought of kissing your roommate before?"

"Tsukki?" Hinata gave a quiet nod, and Yamaguchi's expression softened. The silence lingered for a few seconds, then the archeology student gave a smile that only lifted half his mouth. "Would it be bad to say I have?"

"Really?! Is there something going on between you two?"

"N-No, I mean…" There was a hint to the brunet's voice that meant he had more to say. Hinata struggled to keep his voice from bubbling out as he waited, Yamaguchi finally speaking his mind. "I thought there was, before."

"Before?"

"I shouldn't be talking about this," Yamaguchi replied, trying to keep his eyes from meeting Hinata's. Desperate to keep the man from running away, Hinata reached forward to grab his wrist, feeling his fingers twine with the multi-colored string.

"Yamaguchi, I haven't told anyone what happened with Bakayama. Not even Suga!" His admission wasn't a lie; feeling too confused by his emotions, the god of love refused to bring up the topic to anyone before Yamaguchi. Even telling his teammate had been an accident, and he wasn't sure how his pounding heart was handling the leaked information. Shaking his head to focus on the matter at hand, Hinata stared up at the hesitant man and spoke with conviction. "If you don't get it out, it's going to eat you alive. So tell me before that happens."

It was obvious that Yamaguchi was scared, the fear written on his face. Before coming to earth and meeting these people, maybe Hinata would have questioned this hesitation. What was so bad about talking about the person you loved? The emotion was supposed to be nothing but positive vibes and happy memories. Yet time had passed since then, and with it came personal knowledge the god didn't ask for. Love wasn't as easy as he had thought. Seeing so many people he knew struggle with the concept showed there were levels to the complex feeling. It wasn't always about buying flowers and goodnight kisses. Anxiety and embarrassment tugged at the heart at the worst of times. Seeing the instability of emotions had humbled the god, changing his style of interrogation. Though he wanted to jump on the couch and demand Yamaguchi respond, he stayed as still he could on the cushion he was sitting on.

And when Yamaguchi's shoulders relaxed, Hinata knew the torturous patience paid off.

"A few weeks ago, Tsukki and I were studying at the library. He was just finishing up his shift but there was nobody there, so we were working on our deep sea archeology homework. I don't remember what he said that made me laugh, but then I couldn't stop." Just speaking about the night seemed to bright a flush to the man's face, though the endearing expression he wore proved he remembered the scene fondly. "He kept telling me to be quiet, because we were in the library. But that just made me laugh more, until he leaned over the table and tried to squish my cheeks into submission. I wanted to apologize, but then I realized how close he was and I froze. And Tsukki...I had never seen him look at me like that before."

"Like what?"

"Like he could only see me." The words were breathed out quietly, Yamaguchi brushing his fingertips over his bottom lip. "He pressed his thumb right here and told me to shut up again, but it felt different. We stayed like that for a moment, like he was holding something back. But then...he just pulled away. Then that girl showed up, and you know the rest from there."

"You really like that bastard, huh?" The smile that Yamaguchi gave in reply was pained, the faked happiness evident to Hinata as his teammate spoke.

"I love him. I always have, even as children. He's been the only one I've ever wanted to be with. And I guess I thought one day he'd love me back. But when he said yes to her, I realized I had been getting the wrong idea. Tsukki doesn't feel the same way I do. I must have just dreamt up the tension and forced my feelings onto him." Hinata hadn't disliked the blond blocker as much as he did in this one moment, watching his somber friend hunch his shoulders forward and lower his head in dismay.

"You don't know that," Hinata defended, releasing the wrist he had held captive when Yamaguchi lifted it to brush over the cowlick adorning his head.

"I was just trying to push my own feelings onto Tsukki...why would he ever see me as anything but his annoying friend?"

"Yamaguchi…" Hinata wanted to say more, but he felt the words fall flat when the pinch server lifted his head and laughed, eyes squeezed shut as he waved.

"I'm okay, really! The girl is really smart, and quite pretty, too. There's no reason that Tsukki wouldn't hit it off with her."

"But what if Tsukishima does love you?" Feeling an uneasy pressure settle on his chest when seeing Yamaguchi wave him off, the god of love rushed to speak again. "What if he's just confused or scared of you rejecting him? I mean, look at what happened with Asahi and Noya!"

"Tsukki's not like that, though. If he had feelings for me, then he would have told me by now. And he's going out with that girl tomorrow, so doesn't that prove he's interested in someone else?"

"Yamaguchi-"

"Ah, it's that late already?" Yamaguchi's eyes peered over at the glowing clock on the cable box, the archeology student leaning down to grab the fallen textbook. "You should probably head home; Tsukki will give you an earful if he thinks you distracted me from getting my homework done."

"But I didn't do anything wrong!" Yamaguchi's laugh was weak at Hinata's protest, the smile not quite reaching his eyes as he walked Hinata to the door. Even as he called a cheerful 'goodnight!' before closing his door, Yamaguchi didn't have the same optimistic tone Hinata had gotten used to. The change in his friend's behavior saddened the spiker, knowing that his mess up was the cause of this. What if he hadn't run from his duties? Would Tsukishima have kissed Yamaguchi? Or would he have simply turned down the girl, keeping the pinch server's hopes alive? Either way, Hinata had screwed it up, and the guilt on his shoulders when pushing into his own apartment was heavy.

"Hey." Amber eyes lifted from the entranceway when he shut the door behind him, instantly catching the glare of blue aimed his way. Kageyama was rising from his seat on the couch, the obvious strain in his shoulders showing he wasn't looking for a casual conversation. "What the hell, Hinata?"

"Huh?"

"Our asshole neighbor texted me an hour ago to rat you out; why were you hiding in their apartment? "

"I wasn't hiding!" Hinata shouted, his irritation with the blond rising. Leave it to Tsukishima to add gasoline to the fire. For someone who didn't like to get 'involved' he sure liked to stick his nose into places it didn't belong. He'd have to deal with Tsukishima later; for now, he needed to deal with the irate man now clenching his fists in front of him.

"First you get all weird after Oikawa leaves, then you miss every quick set we do at practice. You were so off that Daichi made you practice with Suga. Then we get home and you literally bolt from the apartment to camp out next door? And to top this whole thing off, you still haven't told me why we were in that club last night."

"I'm not really sure what part of that you want an answer to," Hinata said, expecting the setter to threaten him or try to smack out an answer. Instead, a weird look came over the man's face, a slight wince from his roommate making Hinata's eyes widen.

"What's going on with you, idiot?" Yet even with the insult, the words didn't scream anger. Instead, it was clear that the discourse between the two of them was impacting Kageyama more than Hinata thought. Despite hiding his feelings better than most, the artist was still human. It was obvious that he was upset about the rift between them, even if he couldn't express it as openly as their other teammates. The idea that he had been the reason to cause the troubling look on his roommate's face wasn't a pleasant feeling. How had Yamaguchi hidden his secret from Tsukishima for decades when Hinata couldn't go twenty four hours? Humans were stronger than the gods gave them credit for.

"You don't remember anything from last night?"

"I remember you getting tricked into helping Suga-san clean the gym, which meant I was stuck walking with Yamaguchi and his prick of a roommate. Then Oikawa showed up and offered to show me some tricks for setting, and that's it."

"Your amnesia's a side effect of Oikawa using his aura on you." There was a brief silence between them, Hinata's nerves causing his word flow to quicken. "By the time Suga and I got there, Oikawa had tried to seduce you or something. You were all 'blah' and then you kind of got sedated? Oikawa told us some crazy story about a goddess who tried to kill someone, we found out Iwaizumi was his soulmate, youwokeupandtriedtomakeoutwithme and then I saved you!"

"Did you just say I made out withyou?" Kageyama's eyes were widened with disbelief when Hinata gave a hesitant nod, his hands lifting in front of him as a sign of peace.

"It was totally okay because you weren't yourself!" Despite his explanation for Kageyama's behavior, the setter didn't relax or dismiss the stunned look. Panicking, the spiker stepped closer to his roommate to try and diffuse the situation. "And like I said, I saved you so it didn't get out of hand!"

"How?"

"Oh, I...uh…" Swallowing at the realization his throat had dried out, Hinata tried to give his biggest smile to hide the sudden swell of anxiety. "I just used my own aura to override his."

"You used your powers on me?"

"Yeah, but mine don't have any side effects, so don't worry about that-"

"I'm not a game!" The snapped out sentence and vicious glare sent Hinata's way made the spiker tense, brown eyes wide in surprise at Kageyama's angry words. "After spending all of this time with us, you still treat us like we're toys. That we're just things to use to get back at each other or something."

"I don't think like that at all!" Hinata protested, his breath coming out in short bursts to try and fill his shrinking lungs. He hadn't meant to belittle Kageyama; he just wanted to save him from making a mistake. He didn't like using his aura as a weapon like Oikawa. Humans weren't beneath gods; there were aspects of humanity that Hinata was left awestruck by. But he'd rather do it one hundred times than live in the consequences of what the setter would have done if Hinata hadn't activated his power.

"I'm done." Kageyama's hands were fisted by his sides, the embarrassment overshadowed by the anger simmering from his skin.

"Done?"

"I don't want to be a part of this anymore."

"What does that mean?" Instead of an answer, the setter turned away from his roommate, walking out of the living room. It was instinct for Hinata to follow, his head spinning at the broad statement. "Kageyama?"

"Whatever your next plan is, keep me out of it."

"I can't do that, we're partners!" Hinata protested, bumping into the taller man's back when he paused outside of his bedroom. Instantly Hinata's palm came to his nose, checking the bumped area before glancing up at his teammate with a glare.

"Maybe we shouldn't be." The words hit harder than a suckerpunch to the stomach, leaving Hinata stunned and at a loss for words. Kageyama didn't wait for him to catch his second wind, moving into his room and closing the door shut behind him. At the sound of the lock sliding into place, Hinata blinked. Never, not since the moment Hinata arrived in the apartment, had Kageyama locked him out of his room. The small action shouldn't have wounded the god as much as it did.

"Bakayama, this isn't funny!" Hinata shook his head and proceeded to pound both fists against the door, his anger and unwanted emotions bubbling up inside of him. Even as he hit bruised hands into the solid wood, the man on the other side of the door didn't answer. Minutes passed with Hinata calling Kageyama any insult he could think of, hoping the irate man would come out and try to hit him. But the insults slowed as time passed, Hinata finally pushing off the sturdy door to move into his own room.

And there, curled up beneath his blankets, he cried.