Disclaimer: So let's say if I did own Glee...Chord would be mine. MUAHAHAHAHA. Just kidding only a little bit.
The events of the previous 24 hours were a complete blur when I woke up this morning. Although, one thing that was very clear was my massive headache. My eyes opened to an unfamiliar scene and I found myself panicking for a brief moment. In that brief moment, I had almost forgotten that I was in Tennessee, laid in whose bed? None other than Sam Evans, of course. That I hadn't driven almost 500 miles, only to find myself at his doorstep. I had almost forgotten that Greg had left me because he and everyone else knew that I was lying to myself. And I had almost forgotten that I basically admitted my suppressed feelings to Sam in his kitchen at an ungodly hour. When that brief moment was over and reality started to settle in, I realized that my life was screwed.
Lifting the covers, I saw that I was dressed in a New Directions shirt from years ago and McKinley High School Football sweats. The comforter covering the lower half of my body was navy blue, very simple. The full sized bed was unusually small compared to the Queen sized at home. I scanned his room from the right side. There was a tall, oak drawer set with tons of pictures placed on its surface. A smile spread across my face as I saw a picture of the Evans family minus Sam. I missed them so much. There was the occasional Christmas card here and there, but after he left, the ties to his family didn't stay strong.
With the exception of a few pieces of wall art and the Avatar movie poster I had given him for graduation, his ivory walls were bare. On the left side, his closet door was open. Sam hadn't changed at all; his clothes were scattered on the floor of his closet. Only a few pieces were actually on his hangers. Outside of his closet was a green doggy bed that was personalized just for James. His name was embroidered on the fabric, along with paw prints sewn along the sides. Shaking my head, I could only imagine how spoiled that dog was. Who could blame him though, James was extremely adorable.
Next to his closet was his desk. It was a mess; books and papers strewn all over the place. I could barely make out his laptop because it was covered in post-it notes. If we ever got past the "Hey-my-fiancé-kind-of-left-me-because-I-may-still-be-in-love-with-you" thing, I'd have to scold him about cleaning up his desk area.
Closest to me was his nightstand. I couldn't resist snickering as I saw the photo of Sam holding James. He looked so happy with him. Once upon a long time ago, Sam and I talked about getting a dog one day. I almost laughed out loud remembering our conversation about what we would name him.
Lima Court Mall was drawing near closing time. Being that it was the Christmas season, shoppers were still straggling around in an attempt to finish their purchases. Sam and I had been at the mall for four hours, and our hands were full with bags from various stores in the mall. Shopping with my boyfriend and having him help carry the bags, including my purse, had been a dream coming true. Sam, on the other hand, was clearly not pleased. Stopping short at a bench near us, Sam put down the bags and turned to me with a look of annoyance.
"Honey, how much longer do we need to go? We've been in every store, twice. There's nothing left to buy!" The irritation in his voice made me grin on the inside. This was payback for wanting to watch Avatar for the 2,344,789th time instead of making out.
"Not much longer, babe. Just one more store. I need to find a gift for your parents," I smiled at him taking out my shopping list. When I looked back up at him, his brows were furrowed in confusion; his green eyes staring at me with much intensity.
"You don't have to do that." He pulled me close; placing his strong hands on my waist He strategically started placing kisses on my neck. I thought it was cute. He actually thought he would get out of the rest of this shopping trip by starting a make-out session. I pushed him away from me and rolled my eyes childishly.
"I know, but somehow I need to pay them back for giving me this wonderful gift," I said sweetly while poking my finger into his chest. He groaned and I burst into a fit of laughter.
"That was a good one; clever and you made me feel bad! 10 points for Gryffindor!"
I scoffed at his mistake, "We talked about this. I'm in Hufflepuff, sir!"
"I know! 10 points to my house because Sam Evans, Muggle-born, scored such a hot girlfriend," he said leaning in for a kiss. My hand stopped his lips and I just shook my head. "We're not leaving, and besides, I'm worth way more than 10 points."
I helped him pick up his bags and continued to walk down the pathway. I was on a mission; the present that I needed to get was in a department store across the mall. I needed at least 15 minutes to find it, purchase it, and get it giftwrapped. Stopping to check my phone, I saw that the mall closed in 20 minutes. I breathed a sigh of relief and turned to give Sam this information, but he wasn't standing with me anymore. Looking from left to right, he was nowhere to be found. If he had found a video game store, I was going to strangle him.
"Mercedes, over here!" I heard his deep voice call out from not too far away. I spun around to see Sam standing outside of a store window on the other side of the mall. I crossed my arms, tapping my foot in aggravation. I decided it was too much work to cuss him out, so I just made my way over to his side.
"Before you give me that look, just see why I stopped. Look at them, they're adorable!" I opened my mouth to retort, but he put his finger to his lips requesting to silence me. My gaze followed his finger as he pointed to the window. My anxiety and confusion fizzled when I saw the puppies in the window. They were all asleep, except for one black Labrador. He was sitting there staring back at Sam. He had this dopey grin on his face; he was mesmerized by the small animal before us.
"It's so sad that they keep them cooped up in here. I wonder if anyone ever takes them for walks?" His face was filled with concern. In my mind, I cussed him for being so damn loveable. Why did he have to be this adorkable, caring, sweet guy at a time like this?
"Maybe you can come in to volunteer for something like that?" My willpower was gone. My bags were already on the floor next to his. I draped my arm around his lower back. "That'd be awesome! James here would like that, wouldn't you boy?"
"You're going to name the dog, James? Why not Cocoa, or Spot, or Gunner?" I smiled to myself at my own Cheaper by the Dozen reference. I made a mental note to watch that later.
"Oh come on, those are so typical! You don't want him to feel like an animal!" He was so serious that it was almost comical.
"He is, Sam. The dog is an animal." He gasped at my statment, over exaggerating.
"Yea, but we'd have to take care of him like he was a small child."
"And are we ready for a small child?"
"No…but I'm ready for the process of making a child." He wiggled his eyebrows and moved closer to me. I just laughed it off and jokingly punched his arm.
"Shut up, Evans. Come on, say goodbye to James, we can come back another day to ask about dog-walking."
He waved goodbye to the small pup. Before he picked up his bags again, he gave me a kiss.
"And what was that for?"
"For being the best Christmas present, ever."
My thoughts faded when there was a small vibration near my thigh, followed by a very familiar message tone. When I lifted the covers again, there laid my phone. My heart pumped faster involuntarily. I did not want to know who was trying to reach me. It could have been Greg; I certainly wasn't ready to talk to him. I was hoping that it would be Kurt or Tina; I desired to hear their voices. Unfortunately, it was probably my mother; and that conversation would just have to happen another day.
I wasn't surprised to see that I had 36 alerts when I finally got the courage to pick up my phone. 10 of them were text messages, 15 missed calls, 7 voice mails…and 4 video messages? Scrolling through my alerts, they were mostly from Kurt, Tina, my mother, and my father. Oddly, none of them were from Greg. I wanted to be relieved, but I couldn't help to be worried.
Taking a chance, I decided to listen to a voicemail from my mother.
"You have seven new voice messages. First message received, today, 6:45 am. beep. Mercedes, this is your mother. I don't have a clue to where you've run off to, but Greg called us this morning saying that the wedding was off? Whatever you've done, you need to fix it! He sounded upset, but he seemed very content with this decision. Don't throw away your future over cold feet. Your friends and family have worked very hard on this wedding! Call us back when you get this."
After hearing the message, I quickly discarded my phone to the floor. I was trembling with rage. Of course my mother didn't call to see if I was okay, or if I was even still alive! All she cared about was a wedding that wasn't even happening. I hated myself for even caring, but for just once I was hoping that my life was a priority.
Realizing that taking my phone to the carpet probably wasn't the best idea, I leaned over to find it. Thankfully, Sam's carpeted floors protected my Crackberry; it was still in good condition. As I was leaning back up, something on the bottom shelf of his nightstand caught my eye. It resembled a photo album. Curiosity took over me, and before I knew it, I was flipping through its pages.
The inside cover contained a handwritten note. So you don't forget about us. Don't kill me. I know we think we look cool, but these pictures are from high school. What did you expect? Oh, and about those pictures, I found them on an old memory card and thought you'd want them. Merry Christmas bro, Mike. The pictures in the album took me back to the times of McKinley High. It's funny to think we all couldn't wait to get out of high school. As of now, I would give anything to be a kid again.
The first few pages had a ton of pictures from Glee, school trips, random hang-outs, and football games. The picture of Sam, Finn, Puckerman, Artie, and Mike at our senior homecoming game warmed my heart. The five of them had formed such a close bond during our last year at McKinley, especially Sam and Mike. It hurt to know that their bond wasn't as strong as it used to be.
When I turned to back pages, my throat became suddenly dry. I was practically staring down at a photo montage of when Sam and I were dating. Our prom pictures were there. Sam had taken a photo with both Rachel and I that night. Right in front of me was our individual picture and I was fighting the tears. On the next page, photos of random double dates we took with Mike and Tina were there. One in particular, I was feeding Sam in a restaurant; most likely Breadstix. On the last page, Sam and I were photographed in our graduation cap and gowns. He was bent down kissing me on the cheek, as I held my diploma proudly.
I lost the fight; tears had formed on the picture below. My heart was aching; there weren't enough Band-Aids in the world to help it heal. I kept trying to tell myself how stupid it was to even be feeling this way about him. Even worse, I didn't even know how I felt about him, but it had to have been something to get me to come all of this way.
Greg was this fantastic guy who was ready to give me the world. I ruined what may have been a good life over a high school relationship; a relationship that he ended. What the hell was I even doing here? He might have said that he still loved me at my house, but that was over a month ago. I essentially ruined any chance I had left with him with the words I said. So here I am, Mercedes Jones, the pathetic girl that not only lost one guy, but probably two.
After a few moments of contemplation, I got myself together. This conversation with Sam had to happen. I re-made his bed, and then headed towards the door. When I opened it carefully, a delicious aroma filled my nose and my mouth began to water. As I cascaded down the hallway, the smell continued to fill my nose and I was completely hooked. I had to have whatever he was preparing. Turning the corner, my mouth started to water for a different reason. Standing before me was a shirtless Sam Evans and I had to restrain from letting out the moan forming in my throat.
I could only see him from the back, but this view was perfectly fine with me. It had to have been a sin for a man to look this good without a shirt. Sam appeared busy with making breakfast. This entire scene before me was something that I could get used to. He hadn't noticed that I was there yet, so I had planned to marvel at his beautiful body for a minute longer, but James had other plans for me. Running towards me, barking excitedly, the little puppy had blown my cover. I cursed James under my breath but scooped him up into my arms anyway. A very startled Sam turned to see me standing there. The front of his body was even better. Holy…is that a…8 pack? He caught me staring and a deep scarlet blush crept over his face.
"G'morning," I managed to get out. It was too early for things to be this awkward. But then again, I was just chilling in the apartment of my ex-boyfriend, in his pajamas, holding his puppy. I had surpassed awkward a long ass time ago, and there was no turning back. Shaking these thoughts from my head, I went to take a seat at the island.
"Good morning to you, I see you've found James," he smirked at his dog.
"More like, he found me," I laughed petting his head. "Hey, do you remember James from Lima Court Mall?"
Sam almost dropped his spatula. His eyes widened with amazement. "You remember James the First? I was just thinking about him! I miss that little guy. He's probably not so little anymore." Sam strode over to his refrigerator and retrieved a half gallon of milk and a small bottle of Tropicana orange juice. He slid the bottle towards me, and while I didn't say anything, I was flattered. I couldn't believe he remembered my obsession with Tropicana in a bottle. I couldn't believe he remembered a lot of things.
My eyes naturally wandered back to his abs. I wondered why he was shirtless; it wasn't that warm. "Aren't you cold?" I asked thinking aloud. He jumped at my question.
"Ah, yea, after church and taking James to the vet, I took a jog. I guess I kind of forgot to put a shirt back on. I'll be right back." He smiled politely and walked towards his room. I almost fell back in my chair craning my neck out to watch him. I frowned; I definitely should have kept my mouth shut. James got bored with me and ran to the couch; I was now by myself.
It was quiet in the kitchen except for the sizzling of the food a low humming of a melody. I found a 1960's style radio on his counter and smiled. I got up, fascinated. With society's obsession with the latest technology, the only radio I had recently seen was in my car. And even that was an XM radio.
"What do you have there?" I heard his voice return. To my dismay, Sam had put a shirt on and my peep show was over. He joined me by the device and smiled. The radio was gorgeous; it had to have been an antique though.
"This radio, it's beautiful! Where'd you get it?" I lifted my head to meet his eyes. His expression was somber. "It was a gift from my granddad before he passed," he gave a small smile. "He fixed it up and let me have it. I used to visit their house all the time and beg for this radio. My parents put it into storage, along with some of our other things. I finally got it back when I moved out on my own."
Tears threatened to form in my eyes as he relished in the memory. A familiar tune started to play and for the 800th time that month, I started to cry. Carole King's So Far Away was one of my favorite songs. My voice was quite rusty; I couldn't remember the last time I sang just because.
"So far away. Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore? It would be so fine to see you face at my door. Doesn't help to know that you're just time away. Long ago I reached for you, and there you stood. Holding you again could only do me good. How I wish I could, but you're so far away." The lyrics rolled off my tongue in ease. He took my hand and joined me in the next voice. His voice was soft, but deep and warm. Our voices contrasted, but it worked.
"One more song about moving along the highway. Can't say much of anything that's new. If I could only work this life out my way. I'd rather spend it being close to you. But you're so far away. Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?"
We sang most of the song together, but Sam took the final verses by himself. "Traveling around sure gets me down and lonely. Nothing else to do but close my mind. I sure hope the road don't come to own me. There are so many dreams I have yet to find. But you're so far away."
This song had so many meanings and emotion behind it. The lyrics related to us so much that it was painful to hear them.
"Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore? And it doesn't help to know that you're so far away. You're so far away. Yeah, you're so far away."
By the end of the song, I had only managed to let a few tears fall. Sam's eyes were misty as well. He coughed trying to gain his composure. I could see that he was mortified; I'm sure bursting into tears did wonders for his ego.
"How about we eat then?" He squeezed my hand before letting it go. Sam rummaged through his cabinets and pulled some plates and utensils. My mind returned to the food that was prepared. Undeniably, my stomach was roaring and I needed food now. The emotional duet would have to be pushed aside until my energy was replenished.
My taste buds were yearning for the spread that he had prepared. Sam pulled out a platter of fresh fruit and set it on the table. He placed a huge stack of French toast on the table, along with a bowl of eggs and bacon. Finally, he retrieved a basket from the counter. Sam lifted the top to reveal fresh blueberry muffins and my brain almost combusted. How long had I slept? When did he find the time to prepare all of this?
"Shall we eat?" I nodded until my head almost fell off and immediately started grabbing food. We ate in silence. I was thoroughly enjoying this unexpected breakfast. I would have to figure out later how to thank him. Right now, a blueberry muffin had my name on it.
"I've been thinking," Sam started. I couldn't read his expression and his tone of voice almost sounded sad. The muffin was now unimportant.
"About?" Could he have been thinking about how insane this entire situation had been? Had he been thinking about how just over 24 hours ago, I was in Lima, not his kitchen? Or worse, could he have been thinking about our obscure conversation that was bound to lead to many a question? Whatever he was thinking, it was obviously bothering him.
"I need to be honest with you," his fist was on his forehead, fork in hand. He had looked down momentarily before shifting his eyes back to mine. "You were brave enough to drive all the way here to be honest with me. Now, I need to be honest with you."
I pushed my plate away giving all of my attention to him. I honestly didn't expect Confessions: Featuring Sam Evans this morning , but since he brought it up, I guessed it needed to happen.
"It's about the letter, and why I wrote it. I need to explain to you why I broke up with you that first time." Sam bit his bottom lip. My mouth was paralyzed; my eyebrows shot up in astonishment. I wasn't even hungry anymore. He continued to talk when he noticed he had my full attention.
"I know that it's in the past, but it's probably something we need to discuss before anything, don't you think?" He asked. Unsure if he actually wanted an answer, I nodded anyway.
"Go ahead, I'm listening."
Sam took a deep breath. He was rubbing his palms against his thighs and bouncing his legs. It was definite sign that he was nervous. My heart sped up as I braced myself for his words.
"What I said in the letter was true. I didn't think I was good enough for you. And even though you constantly argued with me, I couldn't get past it. On numerous occasions I would tell you to start believing in yourself like I did, but I was being a hypocrite. I felt so…undeserving of you." His nose was red and his lips quivered.
"And even though you won't believe it, I wasn't planning on breaking up with you until I wrote that letter. That dinner with your parents was harsh, Mercedes. And as stupid as it was, I actually believed that you set up the arrangement as a way of telling me you didn't want to be with me anymore."
The room was spinning. I had to place my cool hands on my face to get a grip on reality. A mixture of confusion and fear rushed through my body. When he noticed the expression on my face, he further tried to explain.
"I know it was stupid of me, but I didn't-"
"Sam, what dinner are you talking about?"
A/N: Oh okay Sam, so you just forgot to put a shirt on? Yea, and I guess you just forgot to be ridiculously gorgeous too? RIGHT. Anyway, hello friends! This update was long overdue, eh? Hopefully it was worth the wait! Sorry for my week long absence. I told you all that it would probably be a crazy week! And indeed, it was. My birthday was fun, thanks for your wishes on Tumblr! Seeing Harry Potter literally paralyzed my ability to write for at least 2 days. Every sentence I wrote ended up in J.K Rowling, Harry Potter, Ron and Hermione, or Hogwarts. So yea, I needed a break to calm myself. Speaking of, did any of you see it?
Unfortunately because of work, I could not go to the midnight premiere, but I saw it the following morning at 10:40. I will be seeing it again on Wednesday with someone who actually enjoys Harry Potter! I love my brother for seeing it with me, but I don't think he knew what was going on. He says it was a good movie though. COMPLETE UNDERSTATEMENT. I also sang the National Anthem with the choir I used to sing with in high school for an event in town, and that was fun. A girl said, "I feel like we're in an episode of Glee." Which then sparked a Glee conversation, and I was very happy. Okay, enough about me. Read and Review! I hope to update this, How Did We Get Here and Now or Never in the next few days!