Teach me sadness and Pain
Teach me sadness and Pain
By Tsuki to Taiyo
Yaay, I have new friends!! There is Midosaki-chan and there is Stephanie aka Tenshi-chan. And another friends… a ShinDai lover; versiondefected-sama. Kyaa This chapter is for the three of you… Yeah and there is Deanthes. Also Bayona!!
Anyway… this story is for my dearest WolfYuu lovers. I used the 12th ending theme of Bleach… it was sung by Chatmonchy
Forgiveness is the final form of love. - Reinhold Niebuhr
Chapter Eleven: DaiDai (Bitter Orange)
Nanimo te ni tsukanai shirokuro no hitomi de
Watashiwa tada hitasura
There is nothing I can do for you
Ano toki no watashiwa nani ni kandoushite nani ni manzokushite
Jibun wo rikaishitteitano?
I just can't seem to concentrate... with these black and white eye...
I was just...
There is nothing I can do for you
Back then I was really moved by something, really content with something
Did I really understand myself?
Shibuya Yuuri looked at the sky. It was color murky purple, a signal of a bad weather. This will not be a good day for traveling yet… today the blonde will leave the capital. He will leave and he will not come back for quite a time. He sighed for the fifth time this day. He clumsily signed the paper. Murata Ken looked at him.
There was a knock on the door. It opened revealing Conrart Weller. The brown-haired soldier saluted.
"Your Majesty… Wolfram party is now leaving. May I and Gwendal come with them even until the borders?" he asked.
The king sighed. "Permission solely granted"
The brown-haired looked at him sadly and said "Thank you, Your Majesty"
He closed the door.
Yuuri stared at the sky. He can't concentrate… There is nothing he can do. It was his decision. It was Wolfram's decision to leave him.
But as he closed his eyes… he can see him. He was smiling gently, the one he gave when he was on the cliff… when he said "I'll fall with you". But that was a lie… of course. A lie… he shouldn't think of it. But what it is that made him so content just by thinking that? He was contented on that time… Wolfram cheated… He swore loyalty to him… but he cheated…
He trained using the sword and maryoku. Now he can say that he was skilled on both but what is it that he really wanted? Did he really understand himself?
Dokonimo ikanaide
Please don't go anywhere
Please don't go anywhere
Please don't go anywhere
He watched as the soft rain pour at the grounds. Even the rain can't stop the journey and he knew it.
"You should come to see him off you know… for old time sake" Murata said.
Yuuri smiled at him. But he didn't reply. He was afraid to hurt another person who loves him. He was afraid to shout those forbidden words as he saw Wolfram take plight.
"Despite how far I progressed… nothing had changed about me… I'm still a coward am I not?" he said.
Murata shook his head. Perhaps it was the turning point of their romance. Despite how much he loved Yuuri, fate is not on his side.
When did it go on my side? No matter what I do… it is always against me.
Ichi nen mae ni modoritai nante
Nande imasara omoeru kana
Ano koro no watashiwa kinou to onaji kyou nante
Kangaenakatta
Why am I thinking something so stupid now as
That I wish I could go back one year
Back then, just like yesterday, I just couldn't
Think about today
The weather was not on their side at all. Wolfram von Bielfelt sighed. It would be a wet journey but he had made his mind. He would go to a far away place, a place where he can forget about Yuuri but he doubted that he can do it. He can never forget Yuuri no matter what he do a piece of his heart would only be for Yuuri.
He remembered how they met. It was kind of stupid, his king falling on a horse. He hated him at that moment. Who is this child? Who is he to steal his brother's throne? But he got to know him and he…fell in love with this wimpy king. But Yuuri is no longer wimpy now… It pained his heart that it was the sage who taught him how to be a good king.
It was fun to tease him and hear him retort. It was fun to be on his expeditions although the boat ride was always horrible. But it was fun and Yuuri had taught him so many things. How he wanted to do those kinds of things. He then asks the wish all people at least once in their life asked "If I can only turn back time…"
But he shook his head. It was stupid… plain stupid. He can't turn back the time. He can only regret. Regret what he did. Regret… and regret it through the rest of his life.
He was going far away now but he can think of it… He never thought of going far away Yuuri.
But he can't bear to see Yuuri and the Sage. It hurt him…
Mou koreijyou ikanaide
Please don't go anymore
Please don't go anymore
Please don't go anymore
He can see the party leave the castle grounds. As he saw him leave his hurt ache with the same pain when he saw Wolfram cheating…
Why? Why is he feeling these? He was supposed to be glad. Every time he was around Wolfram, he would feel someone was holding his heart. It hurt so much… But why is it more painful now… And why is he suddenly having this feeling? He wanted to run to chase Wolfram… to tell him the words he wanted to say…
For a long time…
"Shibuya…" the sage said tapping his shoulder.
He jumped and looked at his back. The Sage smiled sadly at him "The party is still not far away…"
He looked at him questioningly…
"You wanted to chase after him… go now before they were too far away…" the sage said.
"But… Ken… I can't…"
"You should… it is what you wanted am I right?" Murata said.
The Sage really knew him but he can't afford to hurt the person who loves him so much. He was so kind to him. And he was his best friend.
"I can't… Ken… if I do… you'll get hurt…" Yuuri said turning his gaze away from the other's black eyes.
"I will only get hurt more if I see you like this… Didn't I tell you before… I only wish your happiness" Murata said putting his hand on Yuuri cheek.
Yuuri looked at him and smiled.
"You really are a selfless person… Ken" Yuuri said. He kissed Murata's cheek for old time's sake and ran to the stables. He found the boys there and without saying anything, he pulled Aoi. He jumped on the black horse and pulled the rein.
He gently hit Aoi's side using his feet and the horse immediately set to action. Since, it was really a war horse, Aoi ran fast.
"Please don't let it be… too late…"
Me wo tsuburu to arukenaito wakatteitanoni
Hitori tsubutteta
Me wo sorasu to tsudzumenai to wakatteitanoni
Hitori sorashiteta
Even though I can't keep walking with my eyes closed
Alone, I close my eyes
Even though I know I can't keep going if I avert my eyes
Alone, I avert my eyes
His eyes were closed. He doesn't want to turn back. He knew… that if he ever saw the castle… to know that… Yuuri is residing at the Blood Pledge Castle; he would have the urge to turn back. It would weaken his resolve.
They reached the border of the capital and soon the rain poured. The wind blew hardly and they suddenly heard a fast clip-clopping of a horse.
"WOLFRAM!!" a familiar voice yelled.
The group of soldiers wearing blue uniforms turned together, his brothers included.
"Wolfram… Please don't go!!"
He turned his horse and saw Yuuri. He was wet. His cloak is blowing past him. His hair was becoming darker because of the rain. His face showed an expression of something like he was yearning something.
"Your Majesty… what are you?" Wolfram asked.
But he was cut when Yuuri jumped on his horse to him. Despite his delicate appearance, Wolfram is still a soldier. He captured Yuuri before the brunette fell on the ground. His hand on the king's back.
Iitsumo ma nika, anata wo kizu tsukete
Omoikakenai koto wo hashitteita
Amaeru kiki tsuzukenuita watashi wa
Kondo wa nani wo motomeru ka naa
Modore no ikanai de
Pease don't go anymore
I never meant to hurt you
I was running from emotions I wasn't ready for.
But what am I supposed to do next time,
if I don't have you to depend on?
He was clinging to Wolfram as he cried… When Wolfram jumped out of his horse, he didn't let go. He was just like a child. He was afraid that once he let go… Wolfram would disappear.
"Your Majesty… what are you doing? You are supposed to be at the palace…"
"Any place where you are is a palace… Don't go… Wolfram. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I hurt you! I was just to confuse. I don't know if its love and I wasn't ready for it!"
"What are you saying Your Majesty?"
He sobbed on his chest. He was unashamed or unaware of the eyes that were looking at them.
"It hurts… It hurts in my chest whenever you are around. But it hurts even more if you go away… I'm sorry… I'm sorry… It doesn't matter if you would cheat on me again…It doesn't matter if you would not love me again. Just don't leave me…" Yuuri said.
The blonde stirred and said "You… Yuuri… I…"
"Wolfram…. What am I supposed to do, if I don't have you?"
Dokonimo ikanaide
Please don't go anywhere
Mou koreijyou ikanaide
Please don't go anymore
Please don't go anywhere
Please don't go anywhere
Please don't go anymore
Please don't go anymore
Wolfram can't believe it. No it must be a dream but Yuuri's warm body against his is so real.
"I love you… Wolfram… I'm sorry…" he said. "Don't go… anywhere…"
"But, Your Majesty… I can't…"
I can't go with you… I can't stay with you… I hurt you… I am afraid to do it again… Please… he wanted to say it but Yuuri loosen his grip. He looked firmly at Wolfram and raised his left arm. It was pointed at the cart containing his valuables. The raindrops became pointed icicles and to everyone's surprise, it went to the cart's wheels.
"Now you can't go… You'll stay with me…"
Wolfram was bewildered… He has no choice…
"Why…? Why I hurt you so much? Why do you want me to be at your side? I no longer have anything to offer. Why…? What are your reasons?"
"I don't know too… I just… I just want you to be at my side…" Yuuri said.
Wolfram remembered a quote he read
"The heart has reasons that reasons in eternity will never understand"
He smiled at Yuuri and said "Who am I to disobey, His Royal Majesty's orders…"
And as he did… the sun slowly rise up…
Mou kore ijyou arukenai
Mou kore ijyou arukenai
Mou kore ijyou arukenai watashiwa
I just can't keep walking
I just can't keep walking
I just can't keep walking, I can't
Murata's glasses are gleaming. Despite the distance… he had watched the scenes using the sacred water.
"Any place where you are is a palace huh? I heard that one before…" he said.
From the shadows, Shinou emerged.
"Are you sure you want to let Yuuri go like that, Azalea?"
The Sage bowed his head and to Shinou's surprise, he turned, crying…
What is more surprising is that he hugged Shinou. The blonde king inched his hand through the sage's petite body surprised.
"I knew it was coming… I knew it… Why am I crying now?" he asked.
Shinou looked away blushing as the sage sobbed on his chest. It was the first time he did it…
Yehey… Eleventh Chapter up…
Please review… and watch out for my next chapter…
Chapter Twelve: The Past by Jed Madela