Chapter 11
Pizza Parties
"Hummel. Please."
"Give it."
"I've never seen this side of you."
"Get used to it."
"It's sort of hot."
"You're cornered, Smythe. You have nowhere to go—so either you give in, or I'll bite off your hand and eat it raw."
"I thought you were on a diet."
"Give me my money back, Smythe."
"I need it. I'm buying delicious pizza with it."
"I need my money too. I'm buying delicious books I need in order to study and pass these grades and get a job and be happy for once in my life—besides, how much money do you need for pizza? Why did you take a hundred dollars?"
"Because I ordered many pizza boxes."
"Why? Are you hosting a party related to my dieting failures and ever expanding waistlines?"
"Nope. I'm hosting a party that involves beer and pizza."
"Basically, another day where my diet is thrown out of the window."
"I told you not to go on a diet."
"Shut up."
"I love you too, honey."
"Sebastian, if you don't give me my money back, I really will eat your hand. You will be sorry. I would eat the rest of you, but I think the most meat you have on that pubscent body of yours is on your hand."
"Not true. Hummel. Have you seen my ass?"
"Unfortunately, more than I've seen my own reflection in the mirror as someone insists on walking around naked half the time."
"I'm not naked now."
"Ah, so sad. Maybe if you give me my money now, I'll even consider throwing you naked into the fire considering you're so used to things heating up."
"What if I let you have a box of pizza just for yourself? A customised one that nobody else could touch?"
"…"
"Hummel?"
"I'm listening…"
"Also, I don't see enough of your ass. You know, if you move that ass a little bit, shake it up a lot, and show me what it's made of."
"Fat. Sebastian. It is made out of fat. Give me back my money. You are trying to seduce me with pizza but it won't work this time because you know why?"
"You remembered that you had a severe milk allergy and if you go near that crap, you'll probably hate me forever?"
"…no but…wait, and you were going to bribe me with something that is going to make my skin raw and red?"
"You do that all the time. Yesterday, you did it. You bribed me by telling me you'd spank me until my skin is raw and red."
"You enjoy that."
"And? …Hummel, you enjoy pizza as much as I enjoy sex."
"Nobody enjoys anything as much as you enjoy sex, Sebastian."
"Not true. I think Satan loves torturing people just as much as I love sex."
"…why does it not surprise me that the only example you could think of involves Satan?"
xo Peanut Butter/Sam