**Really long chapter warning**
Chapter 11
Silver Lining
Every cloud has a silver lining is an expression that means: All bad things come with some good attached to them. Out of every problem we face, we can gain some advantage. The current phrase was first coined by John Milton in his work, Comus (1634): "'Was I deceiv'd, or did a sable cloud/ Turn forth her silver lining on the night?" Meteorologically speaking, clouds can have what appears to be a silver lining. When the sun is directly behind dark clouds it can cause the top layer of the cloud to look lighter since it is thinner and less dense than the rest of the cloud. The water droplets reflect the light making it look like it is shining brightly white or silver with the contrast of the covering cloud.
I watched as Panthro and Tygra did their best to try and resuscitate Cheetara – each breath, each pump – forcing precious, oxygenated lifeblood into and through a body that had already surrendered. Even though their efforts were met with unresponsiveness, they refused to stop. Between the thundranium poisoning and her physical injuries, it was unlikely that the cheetah would survive even if they managed to bring her back from the brink, but perhaps I could save her if only he would let me try.
My gaze shifted to Lion-O; his jaw was set in a tight, grim line; his eyes shone brightly with determination. He refused to give up on her as if he could keep her alive just willing it to be so, but I knew firsthand that was impossible.
"Lion-O," my voice was soft, but it was enough for him to hear. As he met my eyes, his distrust of me, of my motives, was written plainly across his face. He had already made up his mind.
I glanced back at Kat. He thought that if I merged with Kefiera we could set things right. His confidence in her abilities and mine, for that matter, was much greater than that of the entity or myself. Time was growing short. The night was waning. I could feel the dawn slowly taking our strength.
Wily Kat spun away from me and grabbed Lion-O's arm pulling him away from Cheetara. "Will you let your pride kill her?"
I watched the muscles of the lion's arms tense in anger, coiling with rage, but he did not unleash it at my brother, he turned to me instead. "You caused this." His voice was low, almost a whisper, but the sound was as loud as if he had shouted at me.
I bent my head under the sheer weight of those few words. They melted into my soul, blackening it. "Then let me fix it."
The lion shook his head. "You want to help? See to Pumyra and the others. They are likely little better off than Cheetara."
Tygra interrupted, "We need the portable defibrillator. We won't get her heart started like this. There is one in the tank."
The ThunderTank that we had tossed away through the clouds, I realized.
The tiger didn't even look up at us. As soon as he finished speaking, he resumed his breathing for the cheetah. I should have left Cheetara in the tank. I should have stopped Kefiera before she had gone as far as she did.
You could not, the lioness whispered. She had been very careful to stay in the background of my body – allowing me to keep complete control. That knowledge brought less reassurance than I would have thought. Focus, young one, we can use my power of the elements merged with yours of motion and retrieve your vehicle.
"This is your show," I whispered to the entity. "I'm surrendering control to you. Bring the tank here."
Kefiera needed no more prompting. I felt coldness fill my body and the odd electric feeling of power growing. I also felt her tap into my new found kinesthetic talent.
The winds around us grew. They whipped my hair into my face and around my head. I looked through my eyes, our eyes, and could sense the other ThunderCats nearby. I felt every breath, every palpitation, every movement that each made, had made. Everything was a wash of color in motion. The sheer magnitude of the information assaulting me tore me in two. I screamed in agony, but Kefiera contained it.
Focus, ThunderCat!
It was a good thing that I had given the lioness control of my body. I did not have the capacity to use my ability in this way, and there was no way that I would have remained conscious through such devastating imagery.
I followed the path the tank had taken. I saw the cloud bank that was no longer there and the gouges left by the treads of the vehicle as it plowed into the saturated ground creating two mud banks twice as high as the vehicle itself. There was a deep scar bearing metal shards of armored siding on the surface of a rock outcropping where the tank had come to a sudden and abrupt halt.
A sudden whispered thought, one I didn't think Kefiera intended to share with me, flitted through our rapport. I must be careful, or I will burn out her power long before she ever has a chance to learn to use it.
"Take it!" I cried, again my voice was contained inside of me. "Do whatever you have to do!"
Kitara, I…
"We did this, Kefiera, together. Together we must make it right."
As you wish.
This time when I screamed, I lost myself as well.
oooOOOooo
It was gray but without foreboding; there was no innate sense of danger, no ominous sounds – no sounds at all really. Instead, there were flecks that seemed to bounce light all around me, making my surroundings almost appear to sparkle, changing my earlier impression of gray to silver.
As pretty as the phenomenon was, it still gave no information as to where I was or to where everyone else had gone. My last clear memory was talking to Kefiera, finally getting the entity to realize the folly of revenge – a lesson I had scarcely learned a short time ago myself. The next thing I knew was this place.
Perspectives can change with position; perhaps, if I were not flat on my back looking into the mist above, I might have a better vantage. Mindful of the state of my body and of the wounds I had suffered, I sat up carefully and was immediately struck by the lack of any sensation. Tempting fate, I rose to my knees and then to my feet, again nothing.
Pain had been a constant factor, albeit in the background, of my body since I had returned to consciousness in the prison of the Temple Ruins, but here there was nothing, no pain, no – weight? I looked down at my body. There was corporeal form, but it was translucent like an image projected on a screen; in this case, the screen was the haze that made up the wherever I was.
I must be in the vestiges of yet another sixth sense inspired trance, I decided. It was quite different from anything I had ever experienced with my cursed gift, but then again my psychic visions had always been spontaneous and difficult to distinguish from reality. Although I hadn't felt the familiar tightening around the back and mid-portion of my skull, which usually indicated an imminent episode, I had already had one such vision this day. Perhaps, another manifestation so close on its heels would have a cumulative effect, or maybe my previous injuries were muting my often-faulty, early warning signal.
I couldn't decide if I were relieved or worried about the lack of pain. That one factor had always left me feeling grounded when I entered a trance state; without it, I feared I might not be able to find my way back to my physical body.
Trying to keep my focus on my surroundings, I looked into the platinum-lit, gossamer fog but found it as thick and opaque here as it had been while I had been lying down. I had no direction, but not one to simply sit and wait, I decided to walk through the mist and maybe discover where the here was.
"Cheetara, child, what are you doing here?"
I turned around looking for the voice that I had heard but saw nothing except more of the same muted gray. I had recognized the voice, but I could not place it. The mist made it impossible for me to see and altered the direction of sound.
"Where are you?" I called out, spinning in a full circle. There was no change in my surroundings, and my voice seemed to echo back at me as if I were in a canyon.
Something touched my shoulder. It was almost as if the haze behind me had become solid somehow, but I had no physical form, so how could I feel? I swallowed the scream that welled into my throat at the sudden contact. Although I expected more of the gray expanse that was this place, I followed the sensation of the presence behind me. This time when I completed the turn, I found myself staring into Jaga's face.
As I gazed at my one-time mentor, emotions rushed through me so quickly they were unable to be named. I had not seen him clearly since I had entered the suspension capsule – a lifetime ago. Well, there had been that time with Grune, but it hadn't been like this – not even remotely close, and my recollections of that day had been impaired. I had still been recovering from the trance I had induced to get information on the ghost that had been tormenting us.
I realized that my thoughts had come full circle returning to the sabertooth again, and although I knew there was irony that the fallen ThunderCat would be the unifying factor that again brought me face-to-face with Jaga, my mind was too busy churning with the implications of seeing the jaguar and what it meant that I did not linger on Grune's role in all of events leading up to this. I looked back to my hands, seeing the gray through them, and then back up into Jaga's face. "What does this mean? Am I?"
"No," he answered, cutting me off from my speculation. "I don't know why you are here, but you have not transcended to the astral fields. This is the netherworld."
I turned away from my companion and studied the space where we were. I should have known that this wasn't the astral plane. It held no joy, no gleaming towers of light, and even less clarity.
"Netherworld," I repeated in a whisper as if the mere repetition would give me understanding. Instead, it gave me focus on something completely different. "But, why are you here?"
"I was sent," Jaga answered, but even as I turned to look into his eyes for further explanation, I received no more answers. His eyes had become as hard as flint – as unrevealing as the three words he had uttered.
"Sent?"
"I can say no more. Cheetara, you aren't supposed to be here. You need to go back."
Fog swirling with my body, I spun around and spread my hands outward gesturing to the nothingness. "How? Where am I supposed to go?"
"You…"
I stopped listening to his words as another sound chimed through the haze. It was laugher, not the mad laughter of insanity, but the pure laughter of youthful innocence. I took a step in the direction I thought the noise had come, but Jaga moved with me and blocked my path.
I tried to continue on and slide around him, but for each move I made, he countered. The giggling intensified, and I recognized the pitch as children at play. There were two, a boy and girl.
"Can't catch me; I'm too fast."
"I'm just as fast as you are. Hey, no fair! Da, he cheated!"
"Enough, little ones, it is getting late, and we must go." This voice was the deeper rumble of a full grown male. It was also a voice that had echoed over and over in my head since waking on Third Earth.
"Little one," I repeated the words that haunted me on a nightly basis.
Jaga's arms shot around my shoulders and pulled me against his formidable chest. No! I fought; I tried to break free of the hold that the jaguar had upon me. It cannot be! My head warred with my heart, but it was a foregone conclusion. I knew that voice just as I recognized who the bantering children must be.
"I have to!" I pleaded and tried to squirm free.
"You cannot!"
"Jaga, it's Kijani and the twins. Please, Jaga."
The jaguar remained firm, his body held like a shield keeping me from my heart's desire. "It is not your time, Cheetara. There are forces at work here that you do not understand. If you are allowed to see what was, what might have been, you can never return. You will be trapped here forever, and you are meant for so much more. "
"I don't care," I snarled, slicing my claws across his face. Shocked, he loosened his grip, and I viciously tore myself from his grasp. As soon as I was free, I ran, my speed coming as second nature.
Soon, I was lost in the fog. I had run to where I thought the voices had come, but each step I took led me further into grayness with no sense of where I really was. Exhausted, I slowed to a walk and finally stopped altogether. Frustrated tears gathered in my eyes and blurred my vision. The lump of grief that had lived in my heart all this time rose as a choking sob in my throat. Why, I wondered and savagely scrubbed my face with my hands trying to stop the wetness before it streamed in tracks down my cheeks. Apparently, ghosts can cry, I realized and almost lost my grip on what little sanity I had left.
"Are you finished?"
Combating my feelings of helplessness and self-loathing, I shrouded myself with anger and turned to the bearer of the voice. "This will never be finished; don't you understand that? I never got the chance to make things right, settle things, and I never will. It will always be there just sitting on the edge of memories!"
Jaga bore my lashing out in his usual way, with a stoic stare. It was a tactic I remembered well, and while it might still have power over Lion-O, it held no such power over me, not anymore. My gaze flickered across his cheek. There were no marks showing, no signs of the wounds I had inflicted on him. Confused, I returned to stare into his eyes, more hazel than the russet I remembered, and suddenly, I saw more. It was almost as if I could read his thoughts.
"You knew?" My words were gasped as I realized the answer before I had completely voiced the question.
His broke the stare and looked down at the ground; it was all the confirmation I needed and all that he would give. At least, he hadn't tried to pretend, hadn't kept his faux calm and reiterated meaningless platitudes. However, I took little solace in his acute reaction.
"You knew, and you still had me come with you on the flagship?" My surprise and anger rang in my voice; it quivered under the impact of full realization.
"You were given the opportunity to tell him," Jaga said.
"I was given thirty minutes to gather my things from the Acinonyx Clan ship and to explain that I was called to travel on the flagship. There was no time."
"What about the weeks before when we didn't even know about the planet destabilizing?"
I didn't answer. What could I say? That I was scared, that I had doubts, that I…
Jaga's hands gripped each of my upper arms. This time it was a gesture of comfort, but it was something I did not want, deserve. What I wanted was someone else to blame, and the sad truth was that I was simply too weak to have done the right thing so long ago. I pushed away from the jaguar.
"You have so much of your life left to live, and yet you wallow in a shadow of your own making. Cheetara, Kijani is the past; why have you chosen to live there with him."
"How dare you!" I hissed and turned to confront him.
Jaga's hands came up in a placating gesture that only served to fuel my wrath more. I could feel my claws scraping against the skin of my palms as I tried desperately not to physically attack him again. I was afraid that if I did I would not stop with a simple swipe.
"This realm is made up of what ifs. I know you are thinking about what you have lost, but, Cheetara, what about what you have gained, your friends, your family? Will you leave them behind to live with a memory – a might have been?"
I shook my head. I didn't understand, or maybe I was choosing not to. I wasn't sure anymore. My thoughts were becoming as muddled as the murky fog surrounding me. The laughter rose up again, and my head turned following it. There, I located the origin, in a small area where the fog didn't appear as thick. I took a step and then another. I think I heard Jaga speak – something about danger – but I did not heed. The laughter and the voices were too mesmerizing, and I drifted closer to where I thought they must have been coming.
Slowly the mist lightened, and two figures delineated themselves from the gray. They were small in stature and not simply because they were sitting. In front of them flickered a soft light much like a candle wavering in a gentle breeze. My earlier assessment of them sitting had been mistaken. They weren't sitting; they were reclining.
"Tell us a story, Da."
"Yes, Da, tell us the story about when you and Ma first met."
"If I do this, you must promise me that you will go off to sleep."
"But…" the two voices chorused in challenge.
"No, buts,"
"Oh, all right." The agreement came with marked resignation.
Laughter rumbled over the space between the children and me. The sound was its own music. It called to me, and I willingly followed, drawing closer to the three. But, for every step I took, the figures seemed to also move just out of reach.
I stopped and listened to the story, a story I knew by heart. He began with how he had first seen me. I had never heard myself described in such a way. My heart ached. The pain that had been a non-factor slammed into me and brought me to my knees. I tried to call out, let him know I was here, but no sound escaped from my lips.
Kijani told the story so well even acknowledging that he had been arrogant enough to challenge me to the race in the first place. He spoke of all of the attempts he had made to overtake me, even related that he had tried to cheat, which I had never known, but in the end, he was no match for, in his own words, the beautiful and swift cheetah.
It was as if I had been transported back to that day.
---
My lungs were searing as I gulped great draughts of air into them. I could hear the rushing of my blood pounding in my ears.
A lean figure fell to the ground next to me, a mirror of me, panting and gasping for air, sweat pouring from every pore. "You're good," the male cheetah wheezed in between the puffs of air with which he was trying to fill his lungs.
"You were warned," I retorted, pleased that I didn't sound like I was dying. I certainly thought I might be. I had hit my limit and pushed past it, and I had never been so exhausted in my entire life.
The cheetah laughed, low and full of mirth. "Not only by you but also by your brother." He lifted a hand and waved it toward the cheetah who had been watching the entire event.
"Yet, you still did it."
"In a heartbeat."
He looked directly into my eyes. His were the greenest I had ever seen. It was a rare eye color in most of the clans, but in an Acinonyx, it was practically unheard. I found myself lost in those eyes. I could see my reflection mirrored in their depths and the promise of so much more just below the surface.
"So, what now?" My voice had sunk low into a husky whisper. I cleared my throat and pulled away from this mesmerizing male, a cheetah before this day I had never even met.
"Now, you collect your prize."
"And what would that be?"
His large hand reached around my head and pulled me to him. The next thing I knew my lips were on fire as his swept over them claiming them, branding me. Slowly, his other hand trailed down my cheek and swept my mane from my neck until all I could feel were his lips and his claws gently scratching at my neck behind my ear, pressing me further into the kiss.
With as much warning as he had initiated the kiss, he broke off. I stared up at him, once again out of breath but for completely different reasons. A cocky smile slid across his face, and he reached the tip of his finger to trace my swollen lips. "Rematch."
In seconds, he was off leaving me speechless at the finish line; as Cheterex was so quick to point out a few minutes later, that was not an easy feat.
----
"Da, you lost to a female." The scorn in the little voice was apparent.
"What's wrong with that?" asked another small voice, apparently at odds with him.
"But, I won the prize even without winning the race."
"Yeah, what was that?"
"I won her heart."
"Oh, gross!"
"Not gross - love. And if not for that, you would never have existed. Now off to bed!"
"Aw, Da." sounded the dual protest.
"Now, now, your Da did as he promised; it is time for you to do your part."
At the new sound, unmistakably feminine, my eyes, which had been glued to the small family in front of me, skittered deeper into the mist to search for the owner of the voice. The fog lifted somewhat, and I could finally make out the finer details of the, now, foursome. My breath caught in my throat as I watched Kijani, just as I remembered him, tucking in two small forms in separate bedrolls. The children were only blanket-covered figures, but I could see tufts of hair, as light as mine and covered in spots, peaking from the folds.
"Goodnight, little ones."
"'Night, Da."
Kijani turned away from the two, and the grayness that separated me from them thickened and darkened concealing the cubs from view. However, in the process of redistributing itself, the fog ended up thinning and highlighting Kijani and the newcomer. The female who had spoken was Acinonyx, her markings more pronounced than mine. Her hair, the color of spun Berbil wheat, pale with vivid spots that almost appeared black in contrast to her pale features, fell in long waves almost to her waist.
I couldn't take my eyes off the pair. Slowly, she took a step toward Kijani. He closed the distance and encircled her in a warm embrace, a lover's embrace. He nuzzled her neck and trailed soft kisses across her jaw line stopping only at her lips for a much longer intermission. The movements were familiar; there was no hesitation, each action reciprocated. It was a dance that had been done before, choreography between two that was as natural as breathing.
Breathing for me, however, became more difficult, almost impossible. It was as if my heart had stopped, and my lungs had with it. The earlier warmth of watching my family interact, even without me, drained away leaving only frozen shock in its wake. I did not recognize the female, but I knew that she stood in my place.
"Well, hello to you too," the female said, as both cheetahs came up for air.
"I missed you."
"And I you, Da." The last word was spoken with teasing laughter.
Kijani ran a hand through his spotted mane. "Aw, Kas, don't start."
"Why not?"
"I have to do this."
The female called Kas pointed to the faint glimmer of children sleeping a few meters away. "They are their mother's children not yours."
"They are mine. They are the what should have been, not the explosion, not the mutant attack, not our deaths." Kijani pushed away from her, separating them from each other, and the small part of me that could still feel anything besides numbness was secretly pleased by his rebuff.
She, however, would have none of it. She closed the gap between them. I heard myself hiss in warning, in contempt, but Kijani did not oblige and push her away again but neither did he respond to her. I took his indifference, his refusal to look at her, as my prize, but I knew that victory would be fleeting and hollow.
Kas's hands slid across Kijani's shoulders and up his neck. Cupping her palms around his face, she forced him to look at her. "You know they never were. Why do you torment yourself this way?"
"It is my duty. Without me, they have no one. They cease to exist."
"They never did exist, not like we did. They are a what if, a possibility; we were not – are not. I have been patient, but it is time for you to choose. It is time for us to leave this place."
Kijani again slipped out of the female's embrace and stared at the two small bundles that slept. He reached out and slowly stroked each form, kissing his fingers to his lips and brushing them across where their hidden faces were. He stood and stepped away. The cubs' images began to grow fainter, waver and suddenly they vanished.
"No!" I yelled, finding not only my voice but also control of my limbs. I ran to the spot where I had last seen the twins. It was empty. Furiously, I turned to Kijani. He had rejoined Kas, and they stood with their arms around each other. "How could you?" I raged, my voice a mixture of pain, disbelief, and fury.
Kijani looked directly at the space where I stood. His green eyes pierced through me. They were the last pieces of him to fade as both he as Kas disappeared, leaving me alone in the thickening fog. "No!" I cried out in denial and reached for the space where he had been. My hands came away empty, clutching at the mist.
"It is not possible. This is a dream, a nightmare. This is not happening; this is not real!" I knew I was rambling, but it was all I had, all I could do. A light shimmering caught my eye, and with hope that dissolved with the realization it was neither Kijani nor the twins, I turned to face Jaga once more.
"Tell me that was not real!" I pleaded.
"I cannot."
My hands balled into tight fists, my claws stabbing deep into my palms, I approached the jaguar. "Tell me! Were Kijani and Kas…did they." I felt something dangerous beginning to break in my mind.
"This is your reality, Cheetara; only you can answer that."
A spike of fury drove deeply past what little rational parts of my mind were left completely severing my connection with sanity. "For once in your godsforsaken life," I screamed, now close enough to strike with each word, "give me a f**king straight answer!"
My claws sliced through the jaguar. With each pass, he would fracture only to reform at the retraction of each blow. Physically spent and panting, I stared at the true ghost in front of me. Again I noted how his eyes seemed to shift between the orange I remembered to a strange hazel almost green. "What are you? Who are you?"
An enigmatic smile slid across his lips as he stared down at me. "I'm whatever, whoever, you want me to be, need me to be."
The being in front of me flashed from Jaga's form into Kijani's. I stepped away as he encroached on my space overwhelming my senses. The image blurred to a scarlet-maned, Lord of the ThunderCats. "What's wrong, Cheetara?"
"Not real," I muttered shaking my head emphatically trying to rid myself of the visions before me, but my efforts did not dismiss him.
"Who do you prefer? Sleek, fast Acinonyx" – he shifted into Kijani and then easily transferred back to Lion-O's larger form – "or strong, young Leo? You must choose. You can't have us both."
An impossible juxtaposition of Kijani and Lion-O stood before me. Openmouthed, I stared; I could not form any word or sound. I backed away, and he followed until I was pinned against him and a large tree trunk.
Where had that come from? The tiny part of my still rational mind asked. I clung to that last piece of reality like a victim in the ocean clings to the last piece of floating wreckage from a sinking ship.
"Which one of us do you want? Need?" asked the combined forms. We were so close our bodies were practically touching. Showing dominance, he leaned in further, pressing his chest against my breasts. My back scraped roughly against tree bark as I molded myself to the trunk vying for the remaining space.
His laughter, cruel and oppressive, vibrated in a growl as he pressed his advantage and brought his lips perilously close to my right ear. "Why so frightened, swift one? Oh, my mistake, perhaps it is not fear that makes your eyes grow wide; your heartbeat flutter like a snared moth; your breath catch in your throat; or your scent so" – he leaned back slightly and sniffed the hair at my temple and down my neck – "tantalizing." The heat of his breath so close sent shivers down my spine, and he laughed even louder at my visible reaction. "Instead, could it be want, desire, of your wildest dreams coming true?"
I felt my eyes widen in shock at the merged lion/cheetah's words. Refusing to be submissive any longer, I reacted and swung my hand at his head. Instead of the satisfying slap of palm meeting flesh, it passed through him. My momentum, not stopped by a physical form, flipped me around so that I was facing the tree trunk rather than backed against it. A pair of strong, clawed hands pinned my wrists to my sides.
"Not so quick now," murmured the Kijani/Lion-O hybrid against my temple. He tightened his grip and nuzzled my mane away from my neck. I could feel myself tremble against him, and I flexed my wrists trying to break his iron grip.
My squirming only seemed to make my situation worse. He deftly pulled my hands together behind my back and secured them in one of his large ones. I arched backward with the position, my head pressing against his chest.
Slowly, he took his free hand and wound his fingers through my mane, twisting and pulling it tight until I had no choice but to look up at him. He licked his lips slowly and breathed in; it almost felt as if he were stealing my breath from me. Ever so slowly his lips descended toward mine.
"Enough, Mafdet," ordered a voice from the grayness. The hybrid paused mid-motion and looked up into the fog searching for the voice. We were so close I could feel his breath brushing against my lips. Even though he was distracted, he did not release his grip, so I could only use my peripheral vision to conduct my own search for my rescuer.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of a shimmering being taking the form of a male jaguar. Relief flooded through me, and I sagged against my tormentor's chest. Ironically, his hold on me was the only thing that kept me upright. Another flash of light next to where the hybrid and I stood attracted my attention. Slowly, the form of an unknown, female Acinonyx materialized.
"You know the rules, Jaga," she said. "She is in my realm. I have claim to her."
"She is not supposed to be here. It is not her time."
"It is not for you to decide. Her presence here is proof enough."
"Then I invoke vicem gerere."
The female cheetah's eyes narrowed and her pupils shifted to mere slits, making her appear much more catlike rather than feliniod. She closed the distance between them and looked directly into Jaga's face, obviously judging his statement. "You understand the implications of such an invocation?"
Jaga neither flinched from her gaze nor her words but nodded. Mafdet circled him, sizing him up. Apparently, agreeing to his plea, she spoke, "Very well, Maahes, release her."
Very slowly, it seemed with regret, the creature called Maahes unplaited his fingers from my mane. As his hand disentangled from the last strands of my hair, he drew his claws sensuously across the grain of my fur near the most sensitive part of my neck.
As soon as I was completely free, I ran to Jaga, welcoming his arms as they wrapped around me in a fierce embrace. I craned my neck so I could see into his eyes and still remain within his protection. They were indeed the russet I remembered. There was no hint of green hidden within them.
"What did you do? What is vicem gerere?" I stumbled over the words I had never heard before.
"I am taking your place."
"My place? What? Jaga, no…" The ominous implications of what that might mean stopped me.
"I told you that I have been sent here for a reason. Now, go. You will only be granted this opportunity once." He pushed me away from him. I stumbled slightly still not sure of what to do, what was really happening, or if reality was even part of any of this.
"But, what about Lion-O?" I asked, already afraid I knew the answer, and if it were what I feared, I knew the Lord of the ThunderCats would never forgive me.
"He no longer needs me. You and the others are his mentors, his friends, his family now; he will get by without me."
I wasn't willing to take responsibility for Jaga's disappearance from Lion-O's life and attempted to rejoin the jaguar, but Maahes changed form into a large lion and wound his body around Jaga's legs. He bared his sharp fangs as if daring me to approach.
"Go, Cheetara. Be wary of the treacherous terrain that is this land. You must find your way back before it is too late."
"But," I called out, watching the forms of Jaga, Mafdet, and Maahes fade away. "I don't know where it is that I am supposed to go," I finished my protest to the gray fog. My voice echoed eerily back to me, and once again I was completely alone.
I was suddenly so very tired. I walked back to the tree, the only object that still held its shape in the mist surrounding me, encroaching upon me, and slid to sit underneath it. Maybe if I just rest here for a moment, I can figure out what I am supposed to do, where I am supposed to go. Wearily, I brushed my hands across my face. Sleep suddenly felt like a good thing, and I closed my eyes.
Wake up, little one.
My eyes fluttered opened at the sound of that familiar voice. Reclining next to me, his back against the same tree, was Kijani. I startled upright and fully expected the image to meld back into the fog from which I was sure I had conjured it. He did not.
Hello, Cheetara.
"'Jani?" I asked and tentatively reached out to touch him. My palm slid across his shoulder, and I almost sobbed out loud when my hand didn't go through him. I needed little invitation; as soon as he opened his arms, I threw myself into them. They wrapped around me, and I felt his hands sliding through my mane caressing my neck and back. I snuggled closer fitting my head into the crook of his shoulder and neck. I didn't realize that I was crying until he whispered to me to hush and wiped the tears from my cheeks.
Easy, mpenzi wangu, I'm here.
"But, how?" I asked, not moving from my position in his arms. I wasn't sure that I would ever willingly leave them again.
I just am.
Rather than fight for a more suitable answer, I curled myself tighter against him and rested my head against his chest. We sat in quiet, neither of us quite willing to break the spell. But, the silence was too much, and I soon realize why. I did not hear the steady thrumming of a heart beating reassuringly in his chest, nor did I feel the rise and fall of lungs filling with air. I squeeze my eyes tightly closed against a new wave of tears and waited for the heat of them to pass. Even when I thought I had mastered them, I kept my eyes closed. I wasn't ready, but apparently, Kijani was.
I know you know. The resignation and sadness tinting his voice made the heat burning in my eyes intensify. I blinked rapidly, but a stray tear managed to still find a way to escape. His index finger caught the droplet. It slid down and disappeared in the fine fur on his arm.
"You aren't real; are you?"
I had never understood the term sad smile before. The oxymoron had seemed almost silly, but at this moment, the meaning was crystal clear. One appeared on Kijani's face accompanying his answer. I'm as real as I can be.
"It is not enough, though; is it?" He opened his mouth to reply, and I pressed my fingers against his lips to stop him. "Don't," I pleaded, "I don't think that I can handle it if you say it out loud." Not willing to see the unvoiced answer shining in his eyes, I turned my body and curled back around him. His arms encircled me, holding me, protecting me.
We lay together in silence. Kijani's fingers idly traced intricate geometric designs on my shoulder and down my arm, and I outlined the spots scattered across his shoulder and up his neck. It was a familiar practice, something we both engaged in whenever we were trying to find the right opening to talk about things we didn't necessarily want to.
"Who was Kas?" I blurted out suddenly.
Kijani's fingers stilled. I wasn't sure if he would answer, and I was suddenly filled with fear that he would fade away again. I tightened my grip on his shoulder, but he remained solid. After another moment's hesitation, he resumed his pattern writing, and I relaxed slightly although I noticed that he had yet to answer my question.
You saw us?
I nodded to the mostly rhetorical question. Part of me was afraid that if I spoke, I would tighten his tongue on the matter.
Kasi was before I ever met you, Cheetara. She was a member of my unit, a special forces team created by the Acinonyx to handle black ops missions for the Thunderian government.
He paused letting his words sink in, gauging my reaction to them. I had never heard of this division before today, but I realized there was much of my life and the lives of our Thunderian countrymen of which I knew little. Some historian, I mocked myself internally.
As if reading my thoughts, Kijani continued, You wouldn't have known about it; it was off-grid and well-guarded as a secret. We didn't exist, not officially. It gave the powers that be complete deniability.
You might recall we Acinonyx were the rebels, the black sheep, of Thundera. It wasn't a stretch for the other clans and other species, for that matter, to believe that one of our kind had gone rogue. Kas fit the bill and had a murky enough background to play the part. She went under cover, deep cover, posing as a Thunderian traitor, even selling secrets that the Thunderian Council didn't necessarily want exposed.
The gambit worked. She eventually made her way into the Plundarian monarchy's service. It was she who discovered the Sword of Plundarr's existence and the plans that Ratilla had to invade Thundera and kill King Claudus. She managed to steal the sword and was on her way back to Thundera when she was intercepted.
You know the history form there. Ratilla attacked, albeit prematurely, and tried to kill King Claudus, but Jaga defeated the mutant. We won; the Treasure of Thundera was safe, but there were costs for our success.
It wasn't just Queen Aria who lost her life, but Kasi did as well. Her body was left on display at the foot of King Claudus's throne, a message to all about the fate of anyone who crossed the mutants.
I reached out my hand and gently caressed Kijani's cheek, his pain at Kasi's death still evident on his face and in his words. "Was she…were you…"
Lovers? Yes. Mated? No. The unit didn't allow fraternization. Our relationship was one in secret. Only Kas and I knew.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. I meant it as much about his loss as about my misconceptions of them.
It is the past. And, then I found you. I had another shot at love, life.
"Until that too was cut short."
That it was. Kijani stroked the side of my face with the pad of his thumb. He reached his other hand to cup my other cheek and held my gaze captured in the green for which he was named. His eyes searched mine looking for something else. Tell me, Cheetara, why did I not know you were with cubs?
I froze. I had expected him to ask. It was only a matter of time. Why had I kept my silence? It had been a question I had inspected from every angle, yet I still did not have an answer. I swallowed hard and tried to look away, but his hands were firm.
Mpenzi?
"I don't have a perfect answer," I began. "There was so much going on. Zylia had just given birth to her twins and the problems that she and Killian were having with them, with each other." I shook my head, as much as I could with Kijani still holding on to it.
"That's not really true," I admitted. My tears had returned making Kijani's green eyes sparkle like emeralds. "I was scared. Zylia had lost two sets of cubs before she finally carried a set full-term. I wanted to be sure. I thought that there would be a better time. I thought that we would have more time. I never…I never thought I would lose you, lose them."
You were trying to – protect me?
As misguided and ridiculous as his statement sounded, that was indeed what I had been trying to do. I nodded sadly feeling the wetness track down my cheeks.
Oh, little one. The laugh that Kijani made was full of remorse. I guess, we both were keeping secrets in the name of protection? He caressed both of my cheeks and wiped away the tears. I don't remember you crying so many tears, mpenzi wangu.
"I know," I agreed and pulled out of his arms to wipe my face as well. "I've become some weepy female who breaks down at the least little thing. It is embarrassing."
You are finally grieving. This means you are finally letting go.
"No! I don't want to let go. I don't want to forget."
Kijani's hands curled around my shoulders, holding me at arms length yet still offering an embrace. Letting go doesn't mean forgetting. It means making room in your heart for someone else. It means no longer living in the past but in the present and allowing dreams of a future to be.
I know that you loved me, Cheetara; I know that you will always love me, but your heart is big enough to be shared with someone else who can give you a chance at happiness. Don't hold on to me and our what might have been; it will destroy your what could still be.
Kijani's hands dropped from my shoulders, and he looked into the gray expanse behind me. It is time. You must go.
"No!" I crossed the small distance between us and wrapped my arms securely around him. "Please, just a little more time."
Kijani returned my embrace just as fiercely. We will always want just another minute, another second. That will never change. It is time. You have to leave.
"But, I don't know where to go."
Look. Kijani pointed over my shoulder, and I turned my head to see what he saw. I felt my eyes brighten as they encountered the ThunderCat symbol shining against a gray wall of mist. That is your beacon. You must hurry, little one, you are beginning to lose your form.
I looked down at my hands. Kijani was correct; my fingers were becoming wispy at the ends, blending into the fog that was beginning to thicken around us.
"I – I."
Kijani stopped my protest with a kiss. There was no hesitancy in his action. His lips pressed desperately to mine. I parted mine in invitation, and the kiss deepened to tongues intertwining and sliding at a pace that was akin to devouring a last meal. Indeed, this was our last meal, our last chance at goodbye, a goodbye we never had.
Heat made my vision swim even though my eyes were completely closed. I threaded my hands through his short mane tugging him closer wanting more. Reluctantly, I felt him slow and begin to pull away. I tried to tighten my grasp around his neck.
We will always want more, Kijani whispered, placing a finger to my lips and backing a step away from me. Goodbye, little one, I shall always love you.
"And, I you," I replied, realizing that this was what our parting should have been all those years ago, at the Acinonyx Clan ship, before it had left the doomed Thundera. I watched until his green eyes faded from my view completely before I allowed myself to turn around. The ThunderCat beacon was still shining against the fog. Gathering my strength, I ran to the angry black cougar's head cast in ruby light.
oooOOOooo
The loud crash of the ThunderTank landing in a less than gentle way took my attention from Cheetara's pale and lifeless body. When I had told Kefiera to help Pumyra, I had expected her to go in search of the tank maybe get the portable defibrillator that Tygra had asked for. I had not expected her to retrieve the entire vehicle.
Rather than wasting time trying to figure out how or even why the lioness had done what she had the way she had, I ran to the vehicle and pried open the cargo hold housing the medical kit.
"Ho, is anyone there?" called a voice from inside the back of the tank.
I grabbed the case holding Cheetara's only chance and tossed it toward Panthro. "Panthro, think fast." The gray panther caught the defibrillator and set it quickly next to Tygra before resuming his chest compressions. Free for only a second the tiger immediately set out to remove the device from the box.
I turned my attention back to the vehicle. "Ho, it's Lion-O. Pumyra, is that you?"
"Thank, Jaga," came the muffled voice of the puma. There was a sound of metal shearing against gears as the canopy was slowly opened. "Electrical systems are shot. We have to open this thing manually."
After hearing her explanation, I grabbed the crank on my side of the tank and lent my help in forcing the heavy doors open. As soon as there was enough room for me to get inside, I leapt into the compartment. The moonlight combined with the glowing sticks that Bengali had created gave off enough illumination for me to see the occupants. I quickly walked to where Lynx-O lay on the bench seat at the back of the tank.
"How's he doing?" I looked at the bandages wound around him. There was no metal shard poking through them, so Pumyra must have found a way to get it out.
"He's lost a lot of blood, and his body is in deep shock. I'm trying to keep him warm, but even with all of the supplies I brought with me from Cat's Lair, it is an uphill battle. His golden hour is almost up. I just don't know."
I had a chance to look at the puma. She was covered in mud and blood and soaked to the bone herself, and she was alone with critically wounded. I saw Bengali under his own blanket. "And, Bengali?"
"His head wound is causing pressure to build in his brain. He lost consciousness a little while ago. I need a surgical suite, Lion-O. I can't help him here." Pumyra threw her hands in the air and gestured to the crippled vehicle. "Right now all the tank is good for is shelter."
I put my arm around her shoulder and was slightly surprised when she leaned into me. "We'll get through this," I promised.
I gave her shoulders a quick squeeze before letting go and poking my head through the roof. "Kat, Pumyra can use your help." I couldn't stop myself from looking to where Cheetara lay hoping that I would see something other than Tygra breathing for her and Panthro pumping her heart. I did not.
"We're here, Lion-O." Kat's appearance disrupted my vision. Both he and his sister were standing on the other side.
"Give Pumyra any assistance you can." I couldn't help myself; I was avoiding Wily Kit/Kefiera altogether and only speaking to Kat. "I'm going to help Panthro and Tygra with the defibrillator."
I didn't wait to see whether or not he complied, and I vaulted out of the tank, landing next to Cheetara. Her status did not appear to have changed. "What can I do?"
"See those two pads? We need to attach them to Cheetara's chest here and here." Tygra pointed to two spots on the cheetah's torso and breathed two more times into her mouth.
I carefully peeled the backing off one of the electrodes and placed it high on Cheetara's chest close to her collar bone. Once done, I repeated the procedure with the other electrode. I was about to place it where Tygra had directed when he stopped me.
"You have to apply it directly to her skin. Rip the bodice before you put it on her."
I looked at him for a minute in uncertainty. Then, steeling myself, I slowly ripped away what was left of the fabric of her top. With hands visibly shaking, I gently adhered the other pad low on her left side under her breast. "Done."
"All right, turn on the device. It will take it from here."
Glad to be focusing on something else, I flipped the switch, but nothing happened. I flipped the toggle lever and was again met with dead circuitry. "Tygra, what's wrong? What do I do?"
"Uccāra," Tygra hissed and pushed me out of the way to look at the display. He repeated the switch flip and lowered his head in defeat. "It's out of power."
"What does that mean?"
Tygra shook his head sadly. "We're done. There is no way we can save her. Panthro," Tygra called out to the panther, still pumping Cheetara's blood through her body . "It's over. Stop compressions."
"Tygra," – I grabbed his shoulder and spun him around so that he was looking directly in my face – "what are you saying?" Over his shoulder, I saw that Panthro had stopped his chest compressions. The look of grief on his face ripped through me.
"Panthro, no, resume your position. We can still save her; we have Pumyra. She has medicine." Neither of them moved.
"Jāhānnāma!" I pushed Tygra backward, and he fell to his knees next to Cheetara's head. "You are not a healer, you cannot call time of death. By law, you must continue giving life support."
"Lion-O," Tygra began, pleading with me.
I closed my eyes. I knew that she wasn't coming back, but I wasn't ready to let her go. I bit my lip hard and tasted coppery wetness. "Resume your positions." I heard the hollowness in my voice; it seemed to echo around me. "I'll go get Pumyra."
Panthro again began to act as her heart, and Tygra resumed her breathing. A deadly stillness, numbness, came over me, and I turned away from what I now knew to be futile efforts to bring her back. My feet moved me slowly away from Cheetara and back to the tank.
It took all of my strength to climb to the top of the cargo hold and lower myself in. "Pumyra, I need you to…" I stopped in shock. Not only did Pumyra look at me but also Lynx-O and Bengali. The latter two were both sitting up, alert and healthy.
"H-how?" I stuttered.
Pumyra laughed and wrapped me in a warm, celebratory embrace. "I know, it's a miracle, but Wily Kit, I mean, Kefiera, healed them. They are going to be fine. Better than fine!"
I swooped up the puma in my arms and spun her around. I had been in the deepest depths of despair and suddenly it had evaporated.
"Lion-O, stop; you're making me dizzy!"
I quickly put Pumyra down and walked up to Wily Kat and Kit. "You did this?"
Kefiera nodded her head once, her aquamarine eyes not leaving my face. "Are you ready to accept my help now?"
Shame at my early actions filled me, but I did not have time for my pride. "Please."
"We must hurry; she doesn't have long."
"What? Who doesn't have long?" Pumyra asked, hearing Kefiera's rushed statement. I didn't answer as both the entity and I hurried out of the tank.
I stopped a few feet from where Cheetara lay. The paleness of her features seemed as if death had already claimed her. Both Tygra and Panthro stopped as Wily Kit approached.
"I thought you were getting Pumyra." Tygra said, looking at the possessed wildcat.
"I've brought something better. I've brought her a chance."
"Move away, tiger; you too, panther." Two sets of eyes looked at me and waited for my nod before they did as Kefiera had asked.
As soon as they had moved, the lioness kneeled behind Cheetara's head. She placed her hands on the cheetah's temples and closed her eyes. A soft blue-green light seemed to flow from the possessed Felis, down her arms, and into Cheetara. A moment later, Kefiera keeled forward almost crashing onto the cheetah as she braced her weight on her outstretched hands. Cheetara appeared unchanged.
"What's wrong?"
Wily Kit looked up at me. I could see the faint sorrel of her eyes haloing Kefiera's blue-green ones. "The thundranium poisoning. I don't have enough strength. I'm sorry, lion."
"No," I could no longer stand still. How could I be given this little hope and have it dashed within seconds? "There has to be a way."
Kefiera only shook her head.
"What about the sword? You said that the sword could save her."
"Lion-O," Tygra protested, but I swung my hand out to silence him.
"The sword?" The aquamarine in Kefiera's eyes brightened obliterating any trace of Wily Kit's presence. "Yes, it might work."
That was the only prompting I needed. I reached out my hand and called, "Sword of Omens, come to my hand." There was no visceral response. I had forgotten that I no longer had command of the sword, but Tygra did. "Tygra, you must call the sword."
Tygra shook his head. "I cannot, Lion-O. It was forbidden for the sword to leave the lair."
"Forbidden? Forbidden by whom?"
"Jaga."
I looked down at Cheetara. The tiny bit of color that Kefiera had restored was fading again. "This is her only chance, Tygra." I grabbed his hand in mine and lifted them both to the sky. "Call the sword!"
Tygra remained mute. I pulled him so that we were face to face. "Will you let her die? Call the sword now!"
Something flickered in his eyes, and as one, Tygra and I both called out, "Sword of Omens, come to our hand!"
I felt the flash of recognition, the draw of power. Through my bond with the sword, I heard a mighty roar. It was as if the small dagger were in my hand. I felt it expand to its war-blade length. My eyes flickered with the power unleashed by the sword, and I saw both Panthro and Tygra respond to the call as well, mystical powers being added to their innate strength.
In the distance came the sound of a blade whipping through the air at speeds unknown. The Eye of Thundera roared again as if free from a cage. Tygra and I both kept our hands outstretched ready to catch the sword when it finally made its presence known.
The area where we stood was suddenly bathed in a bright, crimson light. My fingers flexed in anticipation, but the sword bypassed both Tygra and me and landed hilt first into the hand of a female.
My arm dropping to my side in shock, I turned to behold Cheetara standing with the Sword of Omens clutched in her hand. The glow from the sword played off her features and then vanished. The Eye of Thundera suddenly closed, and the entire weapon reverted back to its dormant state.
"I think this belongs to you," Cheetara said and placed the sword against my palm. Only the muscle memory triggering my fingers to close around the grip kept it from falling to the ground.
The cheetah turned away from me and walked to a small figure huddled on the ground. Very gently, she picked up the limp form of Wily Kit. "Kit, can you hear me?"
"Cheetara?" Kit spoke barely above a whisper. "It is you. You're all right." She draped her arms around the cheetah in a hug, her head lolling into Cheetara's collarbone.
"Yes, thanks to you and Kefiera. Where is she?"
Wily Kit gestured her hand to an area still bathed in waning moonlight before returning it to wrap around Cheetara's neck.
Cheetara turned to Panthro and smiled at him. He seemed as dumbstruck as I was, but he took the exhausted Felis into his strong arms. Then she walked to the spot Kit had indicated. A faint glimmer of a lioness' form took shape. About the only noticeable characteristic was a pair of blue-green eyes shining where a face would be. The rest of the lioness was almost amorphous as if she didn't even have the strength to coalesce.
"Thank you; without the Eye of Thundera, I would not have found my way."
It was your lion and your tiger, not me. When I heard the sword, I almost took it for myself. My desire for revenge has not been quenched. Had you not caught it, I might have…
"But, you didn't. You are stronger than you realize."
If you go to the Temple Ruins, under what is left of the fountain is where Grune hid my body. Given a proper burial, I can transcend. Kefiera looked to where Wily Kat now stood with the other ThunderCats from the tank. We both can.
"I will take care of you, and I will record your life and Kefir's in the Thunderian history archive. You will not be forgotten."
Thank you, daughter of Thundera. With those parting words, the lioness faded from view, and the first rays of a sunrise broke the sky.
Still not quite sure of myself, I took a step toward Cheetara and then another until we were face to face. I raised my hand and brushed her cheek still not believing that she was standing in front of me. Her eyes closed for a moment, and she leaned slightly into my palm. Her mane fell slightly back revealing her left temple. There was no mark, no trace of the wounds that she had sustained.
"You're all right," I murmured.
She smiled, a true smile, a smile I hadn't seen on her face since, well, I couldn't remember. She seemed different, but I wasn't sure how or why – not that I cared, not that it mattered now.
"I am," she answered and then shivered slightly. She looked down at her body and then back up to meet my gaze. "Although, I do seem to be a bit under dressed."
My eyes followed the path that hers had taken a moment before. What was left of her uniform left little to the imagination. If she moved slightly too far in one direction, the whole ensemble would most likely fall to the ground. I felt my face flame and knew that it was probably as red as my mane.
Her hand cupped my cheek making me brave enough to meet her eyes again. She laughed low and softly. The sound was music to my ears, and I found myself beginning to grin too. A chuckle escaped from my lips, which only increased hers. Feeding off of each other, we were soon lost in a fit of unstoppable laughter.
I'm sure the others thought we had gone insane, but at the moment, I didn't care. Cheetara fell against me in exhaustion, and I leaned on her. If not for each other, we would have collapsed to the ground. It was the best feeling in the world. For the first time in a long time, as I looked at the sun rising over the main structure of Cat's Lair in the distance, I felt like we had come full circle, that we were finally home.
-Fin-
A/N - The completion of an epic! This last chapter was indeed long, but it did not lend itself to being broken up. Thanks for bearing with me and reading it through. :) A special thanks to all who have (or will) take(n) the time to review. Your comments are greatly appreciated and make my day - and the plot bunnies you inspire...
I took some liberties with the Egyptian Mythology, but the premises used are based on true mythology lore. Translations: I am a native English speaker so any mistakes in translations from other languages are mine; (I'll claim the English mistakes too).
I still have plans to continue with this fandom – I've a lot yet to explore. So, hopefully, I'll catch on my next endeavor. Ciao, RL
Sources:
Silver Lining: The Phrase Finder. United Kingdom. Posted by bob. In Reply to: Re: Every cloud has a silver lining posted by ESC on January 18, 2003. Researched on March 1, 2009. WikiAnswers – The Q & A wiki. Internet. Do clouds have silver linings? In Weather and Meteorology. section. Researched on March 1, 2009
Maahes (Mahes, Mihos, Miysis, Mysis) was the ancient Egyptian lion-god of war. He was thought to be the guardian of sacred places, and the one who attacks captive enemies. He protected the innocent dead and condemned the damned. Found on the web thekeep dot org.
Mafdet (also spelled Maftet) is depicted as a woman with the head of a cheetah. Her name means (she who) runs swiftly. Mafdet was the deification of legal justice, or rather, of execution. From the web wiki on Mafdet.
Vicem gerere – to switch places, take someone's place, Latin origin.
mpenzi wangu = my love, Swahili origin. Found on the web at africanlanguages dot com/swahili
Mpenzi = love, Swahili origin. Found on the web at africanlanguages dot com/swahili
Uccāra – Bengali origin – means excrement – Tigris vulgarity translation, shit. Found on the web at SAMSAD Bengali-English Dictionary
Jāhānnāma - Bengali origin; transliterated into English. Literally means: to condemn to hell. Used to mean damn it in Tigris. Found on the web at SAMSAD Bengali-English Dictionary
Portable defibrillator based on AED (automated external defibrillator). Found on the web wiki AED