DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters in this story, they belong to Stephenie Meyer. If I did, Bella and Jasper would be together, and Edward would be sent on a lifetime mission to the North Pole.

CHAPTER 10

Honesty

ooOoo

Jasper's PoV

I sat down on the same couch that Bella sat on just an hour ago. Her scent still lingered in the air, but it didn't bother me. I enjoyed it.

I knew I could never harm the human girl, and that was just solidyfing with each second I've spent with her.

I drove her home recently, she had to go and make dinner for her father. The house felt empty again, but my head was filled with fresh, surprisingly pleasant memories.

She really forgave me!

I couldn't believe how caring and compassionate Bella was. She was worried about me, despite everything. She actually cared, even though the only side of me she knew, was one of my worst.

After she said she doesn't blame me, I sat down right next to her, surprisingly close, but not close enough to risk touching her. She turned towards me, and we just talked. About everything. Movies, books, even school.

'Really, the thought of going back to school is such a bother.' She sighed. 'I just want it to be over already.'

'Put yourself in my position. I've done high school and college for so many years.'

She giggled. I enjoyed the sound, and silently wondered if she was better thanks to my ability or her own inner strength.

'Sounds like a modern version of hell.' She joked.

I heard a strange noise fill the room for a couple of seconds. It took me a moment to realize that I laughed, and it felt so natural; to my surprise, being around this human girl felt natural. My first impression was wrong – we had more in common than I had expected.

A moment later her expression changed to a much more serious one.

'I still want to be a part of the family… but I'm not sure if you will all want me.'

'You already are, Bella.'

'You know what I mean.'

Yes, I knew.

And somehow, I wanted it, too.

To think that she would disappear one day… I don't know why, butthe thought alone caused me pain.

I wasn't sure if this was the right thing to do, but I allowed myself to drown in thoughts of Bella. Recalling the day's events made me feel good – something I haven't felt in a long, long time.

Or… Have I ever? Always out of place, disgusted with myself at times for all the horrible things I've done, with no one to believe that I am capable of changing. Have I ever felt good? I'm not sure, I thought to myself before going back to pondering the day I've spent with Bella.

Our conversation got even more serious when she shyly asked about my past. I could have made up an excuse not to tell her anything, I could have told her a lie – I could have even ignored her question; but somehow, I felt like opening up to her, instinctively knowing she would not judge me by my past actions. I took the risk and told her the story of how I trained newborns, how I served a vampiress and helped her create an army; I told her the whole truth about my past.

'I was a monster, Bella… No wonder nobody in this family really trusts me. Not even Alice.' This was very true. Alice doubted me more than anybody else did. Except maybe Edward.

Bella didn't say anything for what seemed like a long time, she simply stared at her own hands, absent mindedly playing with a silver bracelet she wore on her wrist. I began to think I was mistaken, she must have realized that I've been a horrible person, hence the unexpected silence.

I scanned her feelings, searching for fear, but found none, so I waited patiently for her to speak. Instead, she just reached out and grabbed my hand. Her skin was soft and warm, so unlike my own, but was that the reason why I felt warmth filling my whole, seemingly dead, body?

'Oh Jasper, don't blame yourself,' she pleaded. 'You're in full control now, aren't you? You're sitting here, next to me, and you are in control. Don't judge yourself by your past actions. Forgive yourself. You're a better person now.' She looked at me with unmoved certainity, as if her words were facts and not just her own wishful thinking.

How could she have so much faith in me? No one has believed in me before. I was always the black sheep in the family, the one that was never in full control. Her faith in me made me feel better, made me want to become the person that she thought I was. She barely knew me, yet she believed in me… Foolish, perhaps, but even if so, I appreciated it. It only strengthened my resolve to stay strong around her, for both her and myself. Her blood would never tempt me.

The day was much too short. When we arrived at her house, she gave me a smile as she got out of the car.

'I had a nice day.' She said, looking at me somewhat curiously. I returned the smile – I've never smiled so much in my entire existence as I did now, in one day.

'So did I.'

'When will I see you again?' she inquired.

I need to give her the freedom of choice…

'Just call me if there's anything, Bella. I'm here.' I replied somewhat coldly, not intentionally; I just didn't want to be intrusive. She is human, she needs her freedom, she needs to be around others of her kind.

She looked a little disappointed with my answer and didn't say anything else. The girl nodded hastily and ran to the front door, to be greeted by her father inside. I drove home rather slowly, my mind in a mess.

Now, here I am, still thinking about a human girl, when I should be thinking about my Alice.

But is she thinking about me?

Somehow, I didn't think so. As always, she ran after her favorite "brother" Edward, without thinking about her not so favorite partner Jasper.

A sudden noise creeped into my deep thoughts, interrupting them. My cellphone was ringing.

Carlisle.

'Carlisle? Is everything alright?' I asked, immediately alert.

'Yes, Jasper, we're fine. But we don't have any good news.' He sighed. 'We found some traces of Alice, but we still haven't found her.'

Alice… Where are you?

'Anything else?'

'…I think so. We heard of an increased rate of murders in this area… I'm afraid we are on the right track.' My father's voice was filled with sorrow.

'You think it's…?'

'I think it might be.'

I remembered my brothers crimson red eyes. It might be.

'Do you need me?' I asked, suddenly worried about my family.

'No, stay with Bella. She might be in danger.'

'Danger?'

'I don't trust Edward's partner.' Carlisle sounded wary. The thought of Bella getting hurt made me cringe. 'Those murders…'

'I'll protect her' I interrupted, 'With all that I am.'

'Thank you, son. I'll call you as soon as we know something new. Esme sends her love.'

'Take care of yourselves. Call me soon.' I said and hung up.

Bella might be in danger…

Half a second later, I was right out of the door.

I will keep my distance and give her space, but I won't let any vampire enter Forks tonight, or any other night.

I'm not the murderer, I'm not the Jasper I once was.

I am the protector.