A/N: Thank for all the great feedback! I love reading your thoughts on the chapters. I just wish I had more time in the day to write faster! Hopefully this week I will be able to post a few more chapters. Keep up the reviews!

Chapter 11

Gwen sat up and waited for Daryl to speak. He left the door up and stepped inside the storage unit. Gwen couldn't help but shiver as she pulled her knees to her chest in attempt to keep warm. She watched nervously as Daryl removed his poncho, wondering what he would do or say. To her surprise he tossed his poncho hard towards her, part of it hitting her in the face but she welcomed the warmth from it.

"I ain't beggin' ya…just so we're clear…." Daryl said sternly. "If ya ain't gonna tell us nothin' at least tell me if he's still alive…."

Gwen couldn't help but feel guilty in that moment for not telling Daryl about Merle sooner. She knew how much Merle missed Daryl even if he wouldn't admit it and could only imagine that Daryl felt the same way. Concerned and left to wonder his fate just as Merle did and here she had all the answers for him, tucked deep inside as if it were some kind of leverage. She didn't want to manipulate anyone, she just wanted to make sure she stayed alive, but no matter how much she tried to justify it in her mind, she still felt the pit in her stomach.

Daryl sighed in frustration by her lack of response and started to walk back out of the unit, mumbling under his breath.

"Wait….." Gwen stated and Daryl froze in his tracks keeping his back towards her. He didn't want to hope she'd give him answers but the hope still managed to weasel its way in and well up inside him. He refused to turn around until she spoke again, just in case of more disappointment. He didn't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing the look of being let down once again on his face. He gritted his teeth and just waited.

"Alright…..I'll tell you what you want to know…." She remarked.

Daryl turned his head and glared at her. "You best not be fuckin' with me 'cause I'm done….I ain't playin' no more games with you."

"I'm not…." She replied as she shook her head.

Reluctantly Daryl walked over towards her and sat down next to her with his back against the wall. Gwen pulled the poncho over her head and wrapped herself up tightly in it and settled back against the wall. With his knees bent, Daryl propped his arms up against his knees and began picking at his nails and Gwen intensely looked at him but he refused to look back at her.

"Where do you want me to begin?" Gwen asked.

"It ain't rocket science….why don't ya try the beginning…" He snapped.

"Ok…." Gwen couldn't help but feel stupid. She knew it was a stupid question when she heard it come out of her mouth but for some reason it still hadn't stopped her from asking. She guessed it was just fear, fear of knowing once she told them everything that she would have no more worth in their eyes and they would probably leave her there.

"I found Merle in Atlanta….must've been just after y'all left him on the roof…" Gwen started to say but saw Daryl quickly become angrier.

"I didn't leave my brother nowhere….you get that straight! I had no part in that and I went back for him!" Daryl barked.

"Ok…I'm sorry….I just meant….nevermind…." Gwen felt like things were going to go from bad to worse. "When he was left…..his wrist was a bloody mess….I don't know how he didn't bleed out or die from an infection but he didn't. I took him back to the house I was hold up in and took care of him. I did the best I could for him….but we knew we weren't safe there, the city kept getting worse and it seemed like there were more walkers creeping around every day…..that's when we left the city. Merle wanted to go to your old camp….find you….take revenge on whoever else was left….but once we got there you were all gone. Merle was fixated on all the graves….it ate away at him and he wouldn't leave without knowing for sure you weren't in one of them….."

Gwen noticed that got Daryl's attention, he had a strange combination of pain and relief when she said that knowing she didn't need to tell him what they did next but she did anyways. "We dug up every single one of those graves. Merle was like a machine…even one handed and there was no stopping him until we were done. Once it was finished, I think just the relief of knowing there was still the possibility you were alive caused him to break down for a bit."

"What do ya mean?" Daryl looked at her confused.

"Well…I mean he cried…" Gwen told him.

"BULLSHIT! NOW YER JUST MAKIN' UP SHIT…THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE TO YA?" Daryl jumped up to his feet and began to pace. He refused to make eye contact with Gwen, afraid she'd see his own tears that were welling up in his eyes.

Gwen rose to her feet and reached out to Daryl, resting her hand against his arm. "I'm not…it's not bullshit….I'm telling you the truth…I'm not going to lie about…"

Daryl jerked away from her and then charged at her, grabbing both her arms and shook her. "YOU'RE LYIN'….MY BROTHER AIN'T GONNA CRY OVER NOBODY…"

"I'M NOT LYING! JUST BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN HIM DO IT DOESN'T MEAN HE HASN'T AND I SWEAR TO YOU, HE DID! MAYBE HE JUST NEVER WANTED YOU TO SEE HIM LIKE THAT!" Gwen yelled back as she tried to pull away from him but he just held on harder.

Daryl pushed her against the wall, still keeping a firm grip on her. "WHY ARE YA DOIN' THIS?"

Gwen watched as the look of exasperation washed over Daryl's face. He couldn't contain his own tears any longer as they started to stream down his cheeks. Embarrassed, he pulled himself away from her and roughly wiped his face. She knew she had caused this….all of it….his agony over missing his brother had become much worse because of her.

"Daryl….I'm sorry…." Gwen stepped towards him, reaching out trying to comfort him but Daryl shoved her hard away from him, causing her to hit her head against the wall. She cringed in pain and reached for the back of her head. Daryl's body language instantly changed and he even seemed concerned as he reached for her out of reflex to help her. For a moment Gwen thought he would go as far as apologizing but he stopped himself and pulled back away from her. He quickly turned away and walked out, pulling the door shut as fast as he could.

"DARYL WAIT!...PLEASE JUST LET ME FINISH…" Gwen pleaded from the other side of the door.

Daryl paced back and forth just outside the door, chewing on his fingers as he tried to decide what to do. He wanted to know more about Merle but he felt as if she was mocking him and that infuriated him but at the same time he was confused because she in turn seemed so sincere. He didn't know what to believe. He was tired and didn't want to think about anything anymore. Daryl ignored her pleas and headed back towards the others…..

Gwen just stood at the door for a moment, hoping he would come back. After awhile she knew it was useless and she laid back down on the cold concrete. She burst out in tears, unable to control herself and just the fact that she couldn't may her cry even harder. She hated the fact that she couldn't control her emotions any longer. Her heart ached for Merle and she felt as if she was never going to see him again.

.

Merle stood up from the floor and pulled his pants up from around his ankles. He fumbled slightly as he buckled his belt. Simone followed soon after, pushing her skirt down from around her waist.

"What's your hurry sweetheart?" She asked as she ran her hand up his bicep.

Merle shrugged her off and walked towards the door. He didn't bother saying a word or looking back as he left.

The cold night air stung against his face as he stepped out on the porch. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Merle stepped off the porch and began to walk. He didn't make a conscious effort to think about where he was going, he just started walking. The town was deserted. The Governor had implemented a new rule of a nightly curfew for most. Only Merle and the Governor's other close men were allowed out at all hours since it was there responsibility to protect the town. They recently had a scare with a walker finding it's way through one of the gates. Carelessness was all it was and Merle knew it. Luckily he wasn't the one on the receiving end of the Governor's wrath of not being on his post. One of the other men had learned the hard way just how serious the Governor was about protecting the town. Merle had killed the walker before it was able to attack anyone but it had frightened all of the members of the town causing the Governor to add new rules.

Merle stopped suddenly realizing he was standing in front of the bar. He looked up towards the windows of the apartment above and his heart ached. He clinched his jaw as he reached into his pocket. He still had the keys but looked around once before going inside. Once he knew no one was watching, he entered the bar and walked straight back to where the alcohol was stored and grabbed a bottle. He took a large swig before heading up the stairs.

Glancing around the room it was obvious no one had been in there since he left. The apartment was still trashed from the last night he was there. He leaned against the wall and sunk down to the floor. Steadily drinking as he stared off into space...

.

"What are you doing? Feeling sorry for yourself?" Gwen asked

Merle looked to his right and saw Gwen sitting next to him. Her hair was pink with her thick dark roots showing, just like it was when he first met her. "I know ya ain't really here...I may be drunk but I ain't crazy..."

"That's not stopping you from talking to me..."

Merle laughed to himself slightly as he finished the last bit that was in the bottle then threw it hard across the room. "I don't wanna talk to ya...ya left...ya shoulda fought harder to stay alive..."

"So now it's my fault?...You let me go out there without you...you could've protected me...just like you should've been protecting Daryl..."

"What do ya know 'bout him? Ya don't know nothin'...it ain't my fault they left me on that damn roof...if they hadn't, I'd still be with Daryl...and I wouldn't have mutilated myself and run into your sorry ass..." Merle glanced back over at her. "...and that ugly ass hair of yers..."

"I know you weren't there for either of us...look at you...you ain't even botherin' to go look for him...what kind of brother are you?"

"SHUT UP! I HATE YOU! JUST SHUT..." Merle stopped in mid sentence when he looked over and saw she was gone. He felt his eyes fill with tears and he just let them come...not bothering to try to hold them back and they silently streamed down his face as he stared at the empty liquor bottle that had shattered in pieces on the other side of the room...

.

"Merle...wake up..." Merle heard a voice say as he opened his eyes. He realized he was laying on the floor of the apartment as he struggled to sit up. His head was pounding.

"Merle...come on...pull yourself together..." The Governor stated as he kicked at Merle's feet.

Merle sat with his head in his hands and elbows propped up on his knees as he tried to stop the throbbing in his head.

"You're a mess...this is pathetic...I'm starting to wonder if I made a mistake with you...I need people I can count on Merle..."The Governor stated. Merle had no question in his mind that the Governor was annoyed. It was clear not only by his words but the tone of his voice.

"Ya can...ya know ya can...I'm fine...just give me a bit to shower and get cleaned up...I'll be as good as new." Merle remarked as he struggled to his feet.

"All I've ever done is try to help you Merle but I have my limits" the Governor stated as he rested his hands on his hips."I'll have Milton bring you some of his tea...that should help as well...but let me make things clear in case they aren't. You're grieving period is over. Pick yourself up by your bootstraps and man up. I don't have time to be keeping an eye on you to make sure you don't drink us out of this town or tear up the place. I need you focused and a leader, someone I can rely on...do I make myself clear?" The Governor asked him sternly.

"Crystal..." Merle replied then breathed in deeply as he glared at the Governor. He clinched his fist and did his best not to let his anger take control but he wanted nothing more at that moment than to slug him as hard as he could. It took all his will to keep from doing so and he stood there in silence as the Governor turned and headed back down the stairs.