Sorry for the late update. A lot of not so good things decided to happen all at once. Anyway, I feel like I don't really need to warn you guys at this point. You all know what's gonna go down.
There wasn't much conversation on the way to Axel's apartment, largely due to the fact that the redhead had kindly called his friend, the waiter who had been worried enough to call Axel the night prior, to update him on Roxas' condition.
The waiter, Demyx, was quite the chatterbox.
"I totally thought you were a goner!" He exclaimed. "Like… I totally thought you were having a heart attack."
"It felt like one." Roxas laughed. Demyx's energy was contagious. "Thanks for saving me. Oh, and for dousing my mother." He could hear Demyx snicker.
"Pleasure was all mine, dude." The phone call ended once they pulled up to an older looking building of dark brown brick. Roxas was grateful he was able to thank the guy. He seemed like someone who would be easy to make friends with. Roxas didn't know how someone could be so animated, even over the phone. Demyx promised to comp him a free meal and Roxas promised not to bring his horrid mother.
He was more than a little mad that his experience with Axel's friends had been overwhelmingly positive, for the most part, while Axel had had to deal with a grouchy, jealous Hayner and an overprotective Namine.
The redhead was in good spirits, however, so he tried not to dwell on it too much. It was water under the bridge now. He followed Axel up the staircase to his second floor apartment, examining the scuffed door while the redhead dug his keys from his pocket.
The inside of Axel's apartment was just as unique and quaint as the outside. It was small, with a tiny kitchenette connected to the main room. The furniture was by no means fancy, but it looked cozy enough. Everything in the apartment looked like it was put to use. It made Roxas' apartment look like an Ikea showroom.
"Make yourself at home." Axel tossed his keys into a ceramic bowl on the counter. "I don't have the fanciest TV in the world, but I do have pretty much every channel known to man." He grinned crookedly.
"Thanks for the offer but I'll pass for now." Roxas pulled the redhead down by the collar of his shirt to give him a brief but satisfying kiss. "As enticing as vegging out in front of your TV sounds, I don't think I have it in me to actually focus that hard." This made Axel laugh.
"I suppose after what you've been through being able to focus would be a tall order." He conceded. "Let me call the diner real quick. They're going to expect me pretty soon and I don't want to leave you here all alone." Roxas rolled his eyes, keeping him in place with a tight grip on his shirt collar.
"I'm perfectly fine, Axel. You don't have to baby me; you said it yourself, you've seen me have panic attacks before." The redhead frowned.
"Yeah but none of those required medical intervention." His fingers twitched at his sides. "I would feel a lot better if I stayed with you today."
That was almost enough to make Roxas cave. He could remember what the nurse, Aerith, had told him about how Axel behaved when he was admitted to the ER. It had been hard for him to imagine, at the time, but the look on his face now left no doubt in his mind. That dorky giant was really an adorable mush. He took the redhead's hands in his, giving them a squeeze.
"I'd count you as medical intervention. I'm okay now, really." He offered a reassuring smile. "I'll be all hunkered down here, safe and sound until you get back. I won't freak out, I promise." Axel looked conflicted.
"You can't guarantee that." That much was true. He couldn't exactly control it.
"How about a compromise then." Roxas offered. "If something happens I'll call you, okay?" The redhead still didn't look entirely convinced, but he relented nonetheless.
"Fine. But don't start second guessing shit, all right?" His tone was stern. "I'd be perfectly happy to leave work so don't start worrying about putting me out or anything."
Damn. Maybe he knew Roxas a little too well.
"Why would I worry? Your family loves me. I'm the perfect excuse for you to leave." He offered the redhead a cheesy grin, causing his expression to soften. He pressed his lips to Roxas' temple and the blond leaned into the touch. It was so tender, so genuine, it caused a lump to form in his throat that try as he might he just couldn't swallow. Axel pulled back with a smile.
"Okay, fine. You hold up the fort while I'm gone." With another kiss, this time a peck on Roxas' cheek, he retreated to what Roxas assumed must be his bedroom to get changed. The blond settled on the couch, trying to ignore the pounding of his heart. Were they kissing more lately? It seemed like they'd been kissing more.
When Axel returned he was dressed somewhat normally, wearing a black shirt with some silly logo on it and a pair of jeans. His hair was pulled back, choking the hair tie that was struggling to keep it in place.
"I'll be back this afternoon." He informed Roxas, pocketing his wallet and keys. "And don't even think about talking me into going to work tonight." Roxas nodded, a bit mesmerized by how all that hair was being held back with only one rubber band.
Once he was alone, he took the liberty of exploring Axel's apartment. The bathroom floor was littered with empty shampoo bottles and hair spray cans, a worn towel bunched up on the floor right next to a hamper where it could have easily been properly disposed of. There was a cubby of shelves full of of fluffy, clean towels, some of which looked like they had been housewarming gifts that had never been used. The mirror was slightly smudged, but much to Roxas' chagrin, it did its' job.
He stared at his reflection in utter horror. His hair was sticking up in every direction, and his eyes were red rimmed with dark circles forming underneath. His cheeks were still slightly reddened, and there were big dark bruises on both of his arms from the two separate IV drips he'd received.
Apparently the ER nurses were nice enough to leave his one already battered arm alone in favor of using his other, much less bruised elbow. Except now both elbows were sporting green and purple bruises.
He looked like a complete wreck. After all the fuss he'd made to look decent for his parents before, now he looked like a greasy, tired zombie.
This was the opposite of how he wanted to look, considering his decided endgame of seducing Axel. Not that he knew how to seduce in the first place.
Regardless, he wouldn't be seducing anyone like this. Turning the knob on the sink, he splashed his face with cold water and struggled to tame his hair. This worked somewhat, but he still wasn't at his best. Not to mention he felt achy and sluggish and even if he could entice the redhead looking like he did, he wasn't sure he'd be able to handle much more than that.
Roxas didn't usually go traipsing about other people's' houses, but Axel did tell him to make himself at home. And if he were at his own home, he would be taking a scalding hot shower right about now.
The only problem was that he didn't have a change of clothes on hand. He almost regretted not stopping by his apartment first to grab some necessities, but then there was the possibility of his parents ambushing him… That thought alone was enough to make him feel brave enough to creep into Axel's room in search of anything at all that he could wear instead of the sweat stained clothing he'd been wearing the night before and was subsequently wearing at the moment.
The redhead probably wouldn't mind. He could wash it and give it back when he was done.
Axel's room was a lot cleaner than he'd expected, considering the state of the bathroom. There was a wide window framed by dark curtains, and a big bed with rumpled bedding. A lamp sat on a rickety looking bedside table, the dark wood chipped and scratched, and there was a dresser of a similar color with various clothing items hanging out of the drawers.
Roxas felt a little guilty for going through the redhead's things, but he told himself he wasn't being nosy if he was actually looking for something. And there was nothing wrong with borrowing. They'd been friends for long enough that borrowing some clothes and a shower wouldn't be weird.
He managed to find an oversized shirt that he'd probably end up swimming in, and a pair of shorts that definitely wouldn't be short on him. Whatever symbol was on the front of the shirt had all but cracked and chipped away through years of wearing and washing. Perhaps it was for a band or a movie… At this point it was hard to tell.
Satisfied with his temporary accoutrements, he returned to the tiny bathroom to see if he could figure out how to work the shower. Luckily for him it wasn't much different from his own. Unluckily for him, it took a while for the water to heat up. He was initially frozen in shock, huddled under the spray of ice cold water. Eventually his tensed muscles relaxed when the water got past being just barely lukewarm to what he deemed a suitable temperature.
A boiling hot shower was exactly what he needed, apparently, as he almost fell asleep standing up. He fumbled for the shampoo, tipped over and dripping down the shower wall, and washed his hair as quickly and thoroughly as possible. He figured it probably wouldn't be good if he fell asleep in Axel's shower and subsequently caught pneumonia.
Turning off the stream of wonderfully warm water, the blond quickly bundled himself in a towel that looked like it had never been touched and looked at his reflection in the fogged up mirror. He still had dark circles under his eyes, but looked much less like a zombie now that his skin was flushed a rosy pink from the steaming hot shower.
Satisfied that he looked a little better, he groped around the floor for his, or rather, Axel's clothes. It came as no surprise that Axel's shirt nearly came down to his knees, but regardless of the size it was soft and clean and that was all Roxas' tired brain really cared about at the moment. He dried his hair as best he could and tossed the towel in the hamper before returning to the living room and curling up on the couch.
He felt much better now that he smelled like Axel's shampoo instead of sweat. The shower had made him too sleepy to stress over the dozens of text messages he'd received while away from his phone. Apparently his parents had just discovered his departure from the hospital, because he had stream 'where are you?' messages. One even cryptically read 'We need to talk.'
He'd probably freak out about that when he was awake enough to really process it.
He could think of a few explanations that would have steam coming out of their ears. Well, his mother's at least. His father was less easy to anger, usually taking the 'I'm not mad, just disappointed' route.
'I'm with my kind-of boyfriend for one last night of steamy homosexual sin before you start trying to un-gay me.' He snickered at the thought, tossing his phone aside.
If they disowned him he could always just seamlessly blend into Axel's family. The redhead's mother was already trying to feed him for free at this point.
Eventually after much staring blankly into space he fell into a dreamless sleep, out cold and drooling on a fluffy throw pillow.
He wasn't sure how many hours later he woke up, startled by the slam of the front door with his cheek covered in drool. He could see Axel in the doorway with an armful of what looked like takeout boxes. His hair had apparently refused to stay up throughout the day, as it was down again and wild as ever. The poor hair tie never stood a chance.
"Didn't mean to wake you." The redhead smiled sheepishly. "When mom found out you weren't feeling well she baked you a damn pie. Crazy woman." He chuckled, shaking his head. "She also sent me home with your usual, grilled cheese and french fries, for whenever you get hungry." He placed the boxes on the kitchen counter before joining Roxas in the living room. The blond frantically sat upright to make room for Axel, wiping the smear of drool from his face. The redhead blinked in surprise.
"See you went and gave yourself a makeover while I was gone." He commented with a wry smile. Roxas felt himself flush.
"I was sweaty and gross and I didn't have any clothes so… I borrowed yours." He replied defensively.
"Relax, will you? I wasn't making fun of you or anything." Axel rolled his eyes, seating himself beside Roxas on the sofa. "For your information, I like that look."
The blond felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him.
"You do?" He was a little peeved at how eager he sounded. 'Desperate, much?' Axel laughed.
"Duh. It does help that those are my clothes." He took a seat beside Roxas on the sofa, tangling his fingers in soft blond locks. This was fine with Roxas, who found himself tipping to the side to rest his head on Axel's shoulder. He could feel a certain amount of affection welling up inside him that made his throat feel tight.
"What time are you supposed to work tonight?" He focused on the feeling of gentle fingers combing through his hair.
"I got night shift again so… Nine." The redhead didn't sound too worried about it. "I already called in sick. No big deal." Roxas sighed, turning to face Axel.
"Are you sure it's okay?" He shifted so that he was sitting on his knees. "Not going to work and all…" He felt a little guilty that he had been so high maintenance lately.
"Stop worrying so much. I haven't taken the day off in forever." He removed his hand from the blond's hair to softly cup his cheek. "Besides, what kind of host would I be if I left you all alone?" Roxas rolled his eyes, draping his arms over the redhead's shoulders.
"I'm a big boy. You don't need to babysit me." Axel looked as if he were about to protest, but Roxas silenced him with a kiss. This was a superb way of shutting the man up, as well as just being thoroughly enjoyable in general.
Axel sighed into the kiss, and even something as small as that sigh made Roxas' stomach flip flop. He pushed forward, kissing the redhead with such bruising force that he knocked the man backwards. He could feel Axel wrap his arms loosely around his waist and took this as incentive to deepen the kiss.
It was slow and sensual, tongues teasing and exploring. Axel tasted like the little candy mints they gave away at the diner. Roxas basked in the feeling of their tongues tangling, of their breath mingling, of Axel's hand creeping up underneath his shirt.
He was absolutely surrounded by the man's scent, one that clung to his furniture and clothes, one that filled the entire apartment but was ten times stronger now that he fit snugly in the redhead's gentle embrace. The surge of emotion it elicited was dizzying. He released a small hum of pleasure as the hand on his back began tracing the outline of his ribcage..
This hum seamlessly turned into a moan when the redhead moved his mouth to place warm, wet kisses along his jaw and down his throat, stopping to latch his mouth on his pulse. Roxas' fists gripped and bunched helplessly at the soft black cotton of Axel's shirt as he tipped his head back to grant the man further access to his neck, absolutely drunk with bliss. This is what he'd been craving. He had to give Axel credit where it was due; he knew what Roxas liked.
Everything that had been weighing him down seemed to momentarily vanish. Hayner's rehearsal dinner, which would be that upcoming weekend and was bound to be an awkward event. His parents and the fact that sooner or later they'd find out about… Well, everything. His job, school, his recent inability to keep it together through the tiniest of inconveniences…
As wonderful as this all was, it wasn't quite enough. He pulled away just enough to meet burning green eyes, the air feeling cool on wet skin. It was very hard to articulate what he wanted at that point.
"Axel… Um…" He fumbled for words, his face growing hot. Axel just listened patiently, tracing patterns on Roxas' skin with the tips of his fingers.. "M-maybe we could take this to your room…" The corners of Axel's lips quirked slightly at the suggestion, but it seemed like he was fighting the smile away. Perhaps it was so Roxas didn't feel embarrassed.
"You sure?" He raised a thin red brow, his hands stilling to rest on the blond's waist. He was probably being nice, doing the polite thing and letting Roxas make his choice without distraction. Unbeknownst to him, this was something Roxas had set out to do from the start, albeit a bit clumsily. He wasn't sure if there was any real seduction involved.
Apparently that part was unnecessary, anyway.
He nodded fervently, finding it difficult to speak. He couldn't really put into words the strange sense of urgency he felt, as if the hour glass had been tipped and was now flooding with sand. He felt like he was running out of time; time with Axel, time with Hayner, time as the person he was now. There was an impending sense of doom he couldn't shake or explain.
"I mean… If you want to…" The idea of being assertive and seductive seemed ridiculous now that his nerves had caught up to him. He could easily see himself wimping out now.
"Of course I want to." Axel said this as if it were the most obvious thing on the planet. "I just wanted to double check. I don't want you to surprise yourself with it later and never talk to me again or something." This made Roxas feel a pang of guilt. It must have shown on his face because the redhead quickly added. "I just don't want you to have any regrets, I mean."
"I won't…" Roxas focused his gaze on his lap, unable to meet the taller man's gaze. "I don't think I could… Stop talking to you, I mean. I like spending time with you and… Who else would I spend lunch with?" He was probably redder than Axel's hair at this point. The redhead groaned, burying his face in Roxas' hair.
"You're killing me here." His voice was muffled. A short laugh bubbled past Roxas' lips. Whether that was his intention or not to make the blond laugh, he didn't know, but it seemed to please Axel nonetheless. When he pulled back he didn't wait for a response, he just dove in for another kiss. Though they were admittedly pretty tangled up, through a good deal of teamwork they were able to leave the couch.
The trek to Axel's bedroom turned out to be much harder than either of them had anticipated, but their wills were unshakable and they would make it down the hall without breaking their kisses, damn it.
They didn't anticipate tripping on the way there either. Axel managed to catch them both before they fell in what looked to them like some sort of botched tango move, and by the time they tumbled onto the redhead's bed they were both lost in a fit of giggles.
"Is it cheesy that I'm sort of into seeing you in my shirt?" The redhead's hand was currently creeping underneath said shirt, traversing the flat plane of Roxas' stomach.
"A little." Roxas could feel himself grinning like an idiot. "But I'm sort of into wearing your shirt, so I guess I'm just as cheesy." He wrapped his arms around Axel's neck, coiling wild red hair around his fingers. Apparently the redhead didn't like the look enough to keep it, as it wasn't long before he had gripped the shirt at the hem and tugged it off, with a bit of assistance from Roxas.
The minute the shirt was discarded Axel's mouth was exploring the smooth, pale skin of his collarbone. These sucking kisses would no doubt become hickeys later, but Roxas couldn't really bring himself to care. He sucked in his breath with a hiss when the redhead's explorations extended to his nipple.
"Ohhh- Oh my god." The words spilled from his mouth as he writhed beneath that pleasuring mouth, tangling his fingers in Axel's hair. Axel seemed to like this reaction, teasing the sensitive spot with his teeth and tongue before spattering kisses over the blond's abdomen.
"W-wait…" Roxas' words were nothing but a breathless gasp. There was a part of him, a small part, that was screaming at him for interrupting something so wonderful. Axel pulled back far enough to meet Roxas' gaze, his expression a mix of confusion and maybe a little disappointment. "It's not fair… That I'm the only one getting undressed." The redhead's expression relaxed, becoming one of amusement.
Reaching out with trembling hands, he gripped Axel's shirt and pulled. The man obediently raised his arms to allow Roxas to remove the garment entirely. The pull he felt was magnetic, the need for skin on skin contact just too great. He pulled the redhead on top of him with a great deal of force. He didn't know how many times he had kissed Axel up until this point, but he didn't see himself stopping anytime soon, tongue delving into the man's mouth for yet another heated kiss.
It was Axel who suddenly broke said kiss, causing the blond to release a little noise of disappointment. The redhead looked troubled.
"What is it? What's wrong?" Roxas drew his brows together, bringing a hand up to caress Axel's cheek, brushing a stray strand of hair out of his face. He sighed, leaning into the touch.
"Nevermind…" He took the blond's hand in his, kissing his palm. This was almost enough to convince Roxas. Almost.
"If something's up you need to tell me." He insisted. "I can't read your mind, Axel." It was no easy task to ignore the increasing tightness of his boxers, but he wasn't about to ignore whatever was clearly on Axel's mind.
"It doesn't matter." He was trying to sound convincing but something about it was… Off. Pushing himself up to rest on his elbow, Roxas pressed a chaste kiss to Axel's lips. It was simple and soft, just lips meeting lips.
"Of course it matters." He rolled his eyes, tightening his hold on the redhead just a little. "I'm not going to bully you into… This… If something's bothering you." Axel snorted, his body relaxing.
"Honestly it's nothing. And you aren't bullying me into anything." He promised. Roxas hummed in response, allowing his hands to explore the redhead's bare chest.
"If you're sure…" He made a mental note to ask the redhead about this later. He was a bit distracted, drinking in the sight of bare skin and toned muscle. It must have been pretty obvious, because it made Axel laugh warmly, leaning in and attaching his mouth to the soft flesh where Roxas' ear met his jaw.
He tipped his head to the side with a moan, shuddering at the feeling of Axel's hand ghosting over his clothed arousal. Awkwardly moving to grip one of the man's shoulders, he pulled him back just far enough to meet his eye.
"E-enough foreplay." He ordered breathlessly with all the authority he could muster. "You can do that all you want some other time…" He took a shuddering breath, trying his best not to chicken out. "I want you… All of you right now." He was somehow able to fight off his bashfulness for a brief second of honesty.
If Axel noticed his stuttering, he didn't say anything. Instead he wordlessly claimed Roxas' lips again, his hands roaming lower and lower until they were yanking away the shorts the blond had been borrowing. At Roxas' insistence, he also removed the jeans he'd worn to work. His nerves still hadn't left him entirely, and at the very least he didn't want to be the only one taking his clothes off.
After the removal of both their boxers a sense of panic set in. They were really going to do this… It was surreal and terrifying and exciting all at the same time… He wasn't sure what to make of the barrage of emotions.
"I haven't done this in a really long time." The words came out in a jumble. They were a roundabout admission of nervousness, which seemed to be something Axel picked up on.
"I sort of figured as much…" His smile was almost sheepish. "We'll go at your pace."
"I might not be very good…" Roxas felt dizzy, probably due to the fact that he was both extremely anxious and extremely turned on. Axel sighed, shaking his head.
"Geez, Rox. I'm not gonna' rate your performance." He placed a sweet kiss on Roxas' lips, warm hands rubbing comforting circles over his hip bones. He felt a sigh escape him as he allowed himself to surrender to the feeling. One of those hands began its descent, long fingers wrapping loosely around Roxas' cock. He moaned into the redhead's mouth as that hand began to move. Eventually he was panting into the kiss, blunt fingernails clawing at Axel's back.
"No more... " He gasped. "Don't want to come yet… I want you inside me, Please." If he were in his right mind he would have cringed at how lewd he sounded, but luckily he wasn't in his right mind. On some level the request felt selfish, but when he thought about it with what little thought capacity he could muster, he couldn't really imagine holding anyone else like this. A few weeks ago that might have been different, but now…
Axel clicked his tongue.
"Someone's impatient." His grin was impish as he pulled away to rummage through the drawer of his bedside table. Roxas was frozen in anticipation, and perhaps partially from the jitters. When he saw that Axel was returning triumphant with lube and a condom he thought he might faint. "Hey… Look at me." A gentle hand turned Roxas' face in his direction. "Take a breath, okay?" The blond nodded, drawing in a ragged breath. "Don't be nervous."
"Easier said than done." The blond replied with a weak laugh.
"Fair enough." Axel acquiesced. "You're in charge, okay? We won't do anything you don't want to do."
"I want…" Roxas licked his lips anxiously. "I want this. Really." The redhead pinned him with a scrutinous gaze before taking his word for it. Axel seemed determined to calm the blond's nerves, connecting their lips again with a series of hot, wet, distracting kisses. His lips felt tingly from all the kissing, and he was sure they would be swollen by the end of it all.
These kisses that held such intensity that they actually did provide a good enough distraction that he didn't notice what Axel was doing until he felt the pad of a lube coated finger gently pressing against the puckered flesh of his entrance..
"Oh god…" The words were muffled, lost in another ravenous kiss. One finger was easy enough to get used to, all things considered. The endless barrage of kisses definitely helped, not that Roxas could ever imagine a scenario where he wasn't blown away by Axel's kisses. When he added a second finger the blond grunted and squirmed in discomfort, which immediately had the redhead making use of his other hand.
That hand, squeezing and pumping his already dripping erection, made the last finger bearable. It was more than bearable when those fingers finally brushed the place that made him see stars. It took every ounce of strength he had to keep from coming right then. He wanted to hold out, damn it. He also wanted the experience to be strictly pleasurable, so he endured the preparation for a little while longer before given in to his impatience.
"It's f-fine just fuck me…" His grip on Axel was tight, unwilling to allow him to escape. The redhead raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"Such coarse language." He commented with goofy grin. Roxas rolled his eyes.
"You're such a dork." He announced breathlessly as he ran his fingers through the redhead's messy hair. The way he said it almost made it sound like he was murmuring sweet nothings instead of calling Axel names. The taller man gently repositioned Roxas' legs, still leaving messy kisses along his jawline. The blond let out a hoarse groan at the feeling of being penetrated by something other than the redhead's fingers. He hadn't been lying when he had told Axel it had been a while. The feeling was so alien. Not that it was bad or necessarily painful, it was just… Weird.
Axel was kind enough to go slow, which Roxas was grateful for. He allowed the blond time to adjust, and it wasn't long before the careful, gentle pace wasn't enough. He needed friction. He needed it so hard and so fast he forgot his own name.
After letting Axel go at a leisurely pace for a little while longer, out of politeness, he wrapped his legs around his waist and pulled him closer, deeper. His mouth opened in a soundless cry of pleasure, arching his back and grasping desperately for Axel, Axel who he couldn't get enough of, who seemed to fill a void in him like some sort of missing puzzle piece.
"Axel… ahh… F-faster Axel." All the redhead could manage was a brief nod, gripping Roxas' hips with bruising force and all too willingly quickening the pace of his thrusts.
They moved together, a cooperative push and pull, giving and taking. This was definitely pleasurable, but it was hard to keep up. Soon neither of them could focus enough to keep control.
"Oh my god… Oh fuck… Axel." That name tumbled from his mouth repeatedly, as he were chanting some sort of desperate prayer. Roxas clawed helplessly at the redheads back, hoping to god they weren't going to break the headboard with how fast and hard Axel was pounding into him. As rushed as all of this was, it was good. Extremely good. Besides, they could always try taking it slow some other time.
"Shit… Rox…" Axel's voice was hoarse, and it almost reminded Roxas of how the man sounded when he had just woken up. For some reason that made his heart beat even harder.
"D-deeper Axel... Mm- Oh my god." He buried his head in the crook of Axel's neck, biting his lip hard as he tried not to pass out right then and there.
Every once in awhile one of the rhythmic thrusts would nail his prostate hard, keeping him on the very brink of orgasm until there was just no holding out anymore. The combination of the hand stroking him and the skillfully timed thrusts brushing his prostate were too much to take.
"Ax...el… C-coming… I'm…" He felt his body tense, pulling the redhead into a bruising kiss as he rode out the best orgasm he'd had in years… Maybe the best orgasm he'd had ever. It was hard to rate it when he was still drunk off of it. He could feel Axel moaning into the kiss, his movements slowing until his muscles stiffened and he released with a low groan. It seemed they had pretty good timing, with Axel coming only seconds after Roxas did.
The kissing didn't stop, but it did get more tender afterwards. Axel pulled away briefly to tie off his condom and toss it in the trashcan beside his bed, and Roxas marveled at the fact that he had put one on without him even noticing.
Once that was out of the way, he was pulled into Axel's arms again, held like he was something precious. He could feel the redhead stroking his hair.
"Did you tell your sister you're here? She'd probably be worried, not knowing where you are and all." The blond felt the taller man place a feather light kiss to the crown of his head. He splayed his hand over Axel's chest, feeling his slightly elevated heartbeat beneath his palm.
"Since when did you get so buddy buddy with my sister?" Axel slightly displaced him with a shrug.
"She didn't seem all that suspicious of me anymore when I updated her on how you were doing and where you were last night." He explained. "I think I earned some brownie points." The blond wondered what Axel and his sister could have possibly talked about, and he only hoped Namine didn't say anything embarrassing,
"No way can I tell her where I am. Not when my mother apparently takes the liberty of reading her messages for her." He scoffed. "You've been picked on enough today." The steady rise and fall of Axel's chest in combination with having his hair petted was making him sleepy again.
"I can take it." The redhead assured him. "The only problem would be explaining why you're bunking with the ER doctor. Sounds like a soap opera or something."
"I think we've done a bit more than bunk together." He snickered. "So it wasn't my best lie. At least I didn't tell them my appendix exploded." Not that it particularly bothered Roxas. If anything he thought it was funny. And in his opinion they were made a pretty good team when it came to lying their faces off, from the day they first met. Or in Axel's case, the day after they first met since he remembered more than Roxas did.
"I didn't say it exploded." Axel corrected. "I said it burst. Which is still one of the more inconvenient afflictions I could have come up with." The blond chuckled, burying his nose in Axel's clavicle.
"My mom already threatened to ruin you and she doesn't even know you lied yet. If she ever found out you'd have to skip town." He felt almost giddy now that he was effectively off the grid. At least for now, his parents' antics seemed more comical than anything else. "Then again if she found out about this, we'd both have to skip town."
"Radiant Garden is nice. Rent's a little high though." Axel's smile was mischievous. Roxas rolled his eyes, poking him in the ribs.
"My rent is high enough as it is. No way could I afford to live anywhere else." He took a deep breath, inhaling the redhead's spicy, masculine scent. Being in the man's apartment he just couldn't escape it. "Knowing my mother, there's nowhere on earth I could go to completely escape her wrath."
"Gotta admire that kind of determination." Axel commented. Roxas just snorted.
"Determination… I guess that's a good word for it." He adjusted his position so he didn't have to crank his neck back to look at the redhead's face. "So, are you going to tell me what was bothering you earlier, now?" Axel laughed, looking almost embarrassed.
"It's stupid. I was just overthinking things again." It sounded like that was the most he was willing to divulge. Roxas frowned.
"Well what were you overthinking?" He pressed, dissatisfied with that answer. Axel always seemed so… Cool with everything. Like he never stressed about anything in his life. Of course that couldn't be true, but Roxas didn't like that he felt he had to fake it around him.
"I told you, it doesn't matter…" The redhead insisted. Roxas supported himself on his elbows, giving the man a stern look.
"Well I think it does matter." He countered. Axel released an exasperated sigh.
"You're not letting this go, are you?" Roxas shook his head in response, causing him to sigh again. "I was just wondering why." He explained.
"Why what?" The blond rested his cheek against his hand.
"Why me, I guess? Why now… It all happened kind of fast so.…" Axel shrugged.
"I… Don't really know." Roxas answered honestly. He supposed he probably lacked tact when it came to such things, doubtlessly making the situation difficult to read. "I guess I sort of started to feel like time was up for me. Like no matter what I do I can't change or control my future. This… Felt like my last chance to rebel against that. I wanted to choose something for myself… Does that make any sense?" He felt like he was babbling, emitting a stream of complete nonsense.
He wanted being with Axel to be his choice. He wanted falling for Axel to be his choice. He didn't want to drown in his sorrows anymore. He didn't want to fall in love with people he couldn't have anymore. He didn't want to live his life wondering what could have been while other people planned his future for him.
Even if this didn't last, even if he still felt confused, even though the thought of losing Hayner felt like a swift punch to the gut… This at least was something he could control. Something that wasn't done on a whim, not like last time, even if it left him just as breathless.
"I think so…" Axel's gaze wandered to the ceiling. "Kind of. So why'd you choose me?"
This was a hard question to answer because, well, not even Roxas knew.
"I… Don't think I chose you." If anything it felt like Axel chose him. That night at the bar, the night he got blackout drunk over a stereotypical crush on a straight friend. An already taken, about to get married straight friend. "I… When I thought about doing something like… Like this… And I really did think about it." That made Axel snort. "I could only think about you." He felt like he wanted to hide, like he needed to cover his burning face with his hands to curb his embarrassment.
Axel had a thoughtful look on his face, as if there was more he wanted to say but he couldn't find the right words.
"I uh… Wouldn't do something like th-that with just anyone." He added, focusing his gaze on a small tear in the comforter, on anything but Axel. "I mean… I don't do things like that ever…" He was a prude. Friends and family alike would agree.
It still confused him. He never kissed strangers, but he had kissed Axel. He never did intimate things with people he wasn't dating, but he did with Axel. He was always able to curb his desires, but he was helpless when it came to the desire he felt for Axel. When he thought about it, really thought about it, it had to be Axel.
"Not to be an ass, but that's what I thought… At first, anyway." The redhead offered an apologetic smile. "Sorry, but you don't come across as the promiscuous type."
"I'm not." Roxas rolled over onto his side, resting his head on Axel's shoulder. "I don't usually… But this time I just…" Now it was he who was at a loss for words. The redhead merely shook his head a smile just barely ghosting his features.
"You're going to be the death of me." He stated, staring up at the ceiling. Roxas wanted to ask what he meant by that, but the redhead closed his eyes with a sigh, feather light lashes brushing his cheeks. It seemed like that was another question that would have to wait. He studied the taller man's features, relaxed to the point of looking serene, before snuggling himself into the crook of his neck.
They could both probably use some rest, especially after such a heavy conversation. As he drifted off into his second nap of the day, he thought about how, no matter how much time he spent with Axel, there was always something about the man that he found surprising.
From the very day they had met, Axel continued to be some sort of enigma, and just when Roxas thought he had the redhead's personality pinned down, Axel would pull something else out of his proverbial hat. This time as he fell asleep he had upgraded from the throw pillow to Axel. The redhead would probably be similarly drooled on, but he doubted he would mind.
Consent is sexy, kids. Sorry this is so short… Well, short for me anyways. Had to make this chapter a two parter. Once I hit 10,000 words I knew I'd have to split it. At least there's no cliffhanger this time, amirite? We get to find out some juicy info next chapter though. Let that be the carrot I dangle in front of you.