the coral garden
- 11 -
Hotel beds being as comfortable as they are Bella slept like a princess without a pea. She waited downstairs and waited, and when Edward didn't arrive she ate bircher muesli followed by scrambled eggs, washed down with apple juice and milky coffee. Still she waited.
Five minutes before the breakfast room was due to close Edward appeared, rubbing his eyes, raking at his hair. He seemed ill at ease.
"Everything okay?" Bella asked.
"I didn't sleep well," was the terse answer.
Bella offered to take the first stint behind the wheel and they settled in to the pickup, Edward's head against the door, his eyes and mouth closed, yesterday's congeniality disappeared.
Out of consideration, she drove without the radio on. Didn't speak. Urged the vehicle over the damp dark miles of the way back, sparing occasional glances at Edward who had saved Stanley, who had chatted with Shelly, and who had danced with her, Bella, only last night. Lack of sleep clearly didn't suit him.
After an hour, he spoke. Abruptly.
"How long have you and Alistair been married?
Why would he have that impression? Oh, she'd said Alistair was Mr Bella.
"We're not," she corrected him.
"Engaged?"
She checked the rear vision mirror for non-existent traffic behind, didn't answer.
"Are you going to move to Oregon?"
"No plans to. It's not very far away, and I love my job."
"More than you love Alistair?"
Taken aback, Bella glanced over to see Edward's eyes fixed on her. Green of forest and ferns. Alistair's were the blue of unclouded sky, rarely seen in Washington.
"That's a little personal," she said lightly, punching the radio on.
"Sorry," he mumbled, not sounding it.
He seemed to drift off again, giving her time to think.
"Bella, this has been a few months - you and me, us," Alistair had said, departure's eve. "It's still new. Moving hundreds of miles away early on in a relationship isn't ideal - it's possibly reckless. Probably, although I hope not. I don't want to frighten you off by asking you for promises or by making any - but equally, I don't want to frighten you off by not saying anything. My going away is not my leaving you, or leaving what we have. I'm not interested in finding anyone in Oregon, and I certainly won't be looking. I want you, I'll miss you, I already think of you all the time. I hope you feel the same way. I'll see you as often as I can - can we just try this? Please? Actually, I do want one promise - I want you to be honest with me. If the long distance love affair isn't working for you, tell me straight away. Then - we'll consider options."
So no, she wasn't engaged. Alistair hadn't asked. And no, she wasn't moving to Oregon - he hadn't asked that either.
But he had said, "Bella, I believe whole-heartedly in love, and I've always wanted to get married. Preferably only once. And I want a family - however many kids my wife and I can cope with, and a verandah and a vegetable garden and a dog - as long as that's what my wife wants too, of course. And I want her and me to be sitting on our verandah when we're eighty, laughing at the grandkids and holding hands in the sunset, still in love and strong no matter what the world might have thrown at us. I'm absolutely crazy about you - crazy - and I think the time apart will give me perspective. If the way I feel is what I think it is, this partial separation will strengthen the bond we share, not weaken it. And if that happens - for both of us - well, we'll know we've got the foundation for something lifelong."
In an Oregon state of mind, she nearly jumped out of her skin when Edward spoke again.
"What's your favorite Nirvana song?"
What - ? Her t-shirt, last night. His strange, wordless visit.
As it happened she didn't like Nirvana but she knew one album inside-out. Bleakness, savagery and self-hatred. She knew it ache for ache, had learnt it by broken heart, had been cut to the quick by the possibility that the boy who clothed himself in it might have found resonance in its sentiments. Yet even fearing for his emotional health the memory of his delight in her and him together had been assurance. Years ago.
"I don't know really. I guess I don't have one. When my friends got into the whole Nirvana thing I held off because of what happened to the singer. Then I finally did listen and I felt the power and the energy. But I couldn't really take it. It's so visceral it's wounding. After a while I found it too sad to listen to any more."
Edward bit a lip, frowning, seeming to consider her words. "You bought the t-shirt," he said finally.
No, I didn't.
They swapped places after lunch, Edward taking over the driving for the last two hours, still disinclined to speak. They parted at the clinic where he'd left his car, him proffering a stilted thankyou and goodbye. Along with a dark stare, apropos of nothing.
"How did it go on the weekend?" Shelly asked Monday merrily slightly sly.
"Fine. Mission accomplished."
"No problems?"
"None."
"No comments?"
She was digging, dying to hear Bella admit that Edward was handsome.
"Nice scenery on the interstate," Bella commented, eliciting a snort from her workmate.
The next weekend she visited Alistair, flying above clouds, crossing the state boundary for conversation, cuddling and lovemaking. To see what kept him from her.
Their reuniting at the airport overbalanced him, the way she hugged so hard, feet leaving the ground.
"Oh God, Bella, God," he groaned and laughed into her mouth, one arm around her back and the other around her backside.
"If we don't calm this down we'll fornicate in my car, and then get arrested. They'll put us in separate cells," he panted.
"Oh, no," she said, calming down.
In half an hour they were negotiating the system of fences and gates guarding the facility where Alistair had taken up residence.
"Security is paramount," he was explaining. "Given that there are highly dangerous animals here we've taken every precaution to ensure that they can't escape. And of course, we don't want intruders. No foolhardy adventurers thinking they can take a pot shot at a gazelle with a bb gun, or enact some ill-thought safari fantasy."
Before yet another fence there was a row of low buildings, and Alistair parked in front of one of them.
"Mostly the staff sleep in dormitories, with shared bathrooms and a communal kitchen but seeing as I'm having a conjugal visit I've been given my own cabin," he smiled, raising an eyebrow. "Are you tired after your flight? Would you like to lie down?"
People don't tend to get too tired cruising at low altitude for an hour. Bella knew exactly what he was saying.
"Yes, actually I would like to lie down," she answered, drawing him with her. A month apart had been long enough to make her need reminding how good he could make her feel. Surprising how long the reminding took - from late afternoon until dinnertime.
"I bought things we can cook," he said, walking naked to the kitchenette. Nice to be reminded how good he looked, too. When Bella tried to wriggle back into panties he shook his head, openly ogling.
"Uh-uh, baby. Remember our nude republic. No clothes unless it's cold. We won't get cold in here - it's a temperature-controlled environment. You're so beautiful. I've missed you. Do you want to lie down some more?"
"After dinner, definitely."
"What about during dinner? I could array you with sushi and eat off your belly. You could do the same to me."
"Wouldn't it tickle?"
"Yeah. Mmm."
They did throw t-shirts and underwear on for dinner, then chatted, sipping wine. She told him about taking Stanley to his refuge, mentioning that Edward had been friendly one day and remote the next.
"I don't know him outside of a work context," Alistair said, frowning. "I wouldn't have endorsed him if I'd thought he might be awkward."
"It was fine," Bella said.
"Stanley could have come here, you know. It is a wildlife park," Alistair continued. "We have plenty of white-tails he could have run around with."
"Why didn't you say so?"
He grinned. "Well - if he lived here he'd probably be eaten. Death by lion. You might never have forgiven me."
Bella mock-gasped and swatted him, before asking how things were going, and that's when Alistair started really talking.
And that's when Bella knew what was keeping him from her.
The place, the space, the land, the work, the resources, the science, the lions.
"What we're attempting is called interspecific pregnancy, where a compatible surrogate mother is implanted with cloned embryos. It's all looking very, very promising at this stage. We have three sub-Saharan lionesses, and we're lucky enough to have twenty frozen embryos with dna confirmed as Atlas by the International Species Classification Register. If we're successful in achieving live births, we're in an optimal environment for the cubs. Our lionesses have come from parks, not zoos, so they know how to hunt, and other than twenty-four seven surveillance we're planning minimal intervention. We're so close, Bella, so close to making this happen," he told her.
The next day, in an all-terrain vehicle, they drove out to see the lionesses. From a distance through binoculars.
"They're regal, aren't they? And so indolent. They sleep around twenty hours a day. Lions have a low kill rate when hunting which puzzled felinologists for decades, even while it was observed that when lions are awake and not hunting they're very playful. Current thinking is that a lot of what looks like hunting is actually just running around spooking gazelles for fun."
Even from far away they were lithe and unfathomable. Gold and supremely self-contained. Bella understood his dedication, his drive. Saw his commitment. Recognized his passion.
"They used to rule the world, Bella. Bigger lions than nowadays roamed America, Asia and Europe. The La Brea tar pits alone have yielded a hundred specimens. Fossils have been found in London, England. There were giant marsupial lions in Australia. Then about thirteen thousand years ago there was a mass extinction, and we've been unable to ascertain how or why it happened. But all this you see here - " Alistair paused to wave an arm, to indicate the wild vista dwarfing them, " - this was their domain. I want to give it back to them."
Back in the cabin he nudged her and said, "So. Baked fish for dinner. While I prepare it for the oven, tell me how your work's going. There must be funny stories about Shelly."
Work was very busy. There'd been a flash increase in pet ownership. Their boss might need to take on a partner.
"Your boss. You've spoken admiringly of him before. Something about his surgical technique," Alistair murmured. "You think he's good with his hands. I might be a little jealous."
Bella laughed. Her boss was more than twice her age, not to mention happily married.
"Perfect sutures are perfect," she teased.
"I'm very good with my hands," Alistair said, demonstrating.
Back at home, at work, back in the life that had existed before Alistair and now existed away from Alistair, she realized she hadn't met any of his colleagues. He hadn't so much as mentioned any. Again. He hadn't met hers either, a fact Shelly kept bringing up.
"When's your Mane Man visiting next? Because we're all going out. Out, Bell-Bell, to a bar or a club or somewhere we can relax and chat. Just because I've spoken to him on the phone doesn't mean he exists. I need empirical evidence."
Alistair laughed when Bella told him, and agreed readily to a night out. He laughed when he met Shelly and charmed her socks off.
"Okay, I see why you kept him to yourself while you were cementing the relationship," Shelly said when he'd gone to the bathroom. "Because, damn. He is fine. If I'd met him first - "
"Am I missing anything?" Alistair said, sliding into his seat.
"Not according to Bella," Shelly said, deadpan, gaze and smirk sliding sideways before he could riposte. Shelly scoped the room while Bella examined a coaster closely and Alistair slipped a hand under the table to lie hot and high on Bella's leg.
"Hey - isn't that Edward? Edward Cullen? He should come and sit with us! We've got room," Shelly exclaimed, startling Bella into looking up.
Edward was indeed standing just inside the door. Shelly charged off and Bella smiled at Alistair.
"She's kind of unstoppable. Do you mind?"
"Not at all. He looks somewhat occupied, though."
Shelly made her way back to the table, dragging Edward along with her. He wasn't alone. A girl was at his side, and he had an arm slung protectively around her. Or was that affectionately? He was smiling at Shelly, bending down to catch something she said, when he noticed Bella. The smile faltered. It froze altogether when he saw Alistair beside her.
Whatever his problem was, it wasn't hers, so after a nod of recognition, she ignored him. Alistair rose to shake his hand and the two men fell to talking. The girl, pretty, all eyes, sat with Shelly, opposite Bella, and beamed.
"You're friends of Edward's? It's lovely to meet you. I'm Tansy."