Seth –Dream and Nightmare–

No! That was the only thing I could think now.

No! Please not! Not her! Please not her!

Leah's steps echoed in the pitch-black forest. It was a miracle that I didn't crash any trees; I wasn't paying any attention at my surrounding area. I didn't see anything but her angel-face, didn't hear anything than Leah's cruel thoughts.

I'm doing this for your sake! She shouted at me.

I growled.

Trust me!

No, I wouldn't. I've trusted Jake who also had planed to help me and what was the result of all his great "Helping-Seth-Plan"? My own sister was on the way to kill the girl I loved. How could I be so naïve?!

Seth! She's a vampire!

I didn't respond. I didn't want to upset her even more than she already was. It was hard enough to keep up with her when she was just running out of fun. Besides, I didn't want to put my angel in greater danger.

You won't be able to stop me, Seth! Leah growled and sped up when I didn't react again.

No!

I began to run faster, I was running as fast as I could, faster than I ever had. But still, I couldn't catch up with Leah. She was too fast and her head start was too big. It was despairing!

Nevertheless, I didn't slow down. I mustn't give up. I had to protect her!

Suddenly, Leah stopped.

Had she found her already?

I lifted my nose, looking for a familiar scent.

There! There it was! The wonderful clover-aroma mixed with the well-known vampire-scent.

"She is here!" a part in me cheered.

"She is here!" another part shouted in agony. "Why did she have to be here now?"

Maybe she had the same sickness like Bella had when she was human – pulling all danger to her like a wandering magnet

Damn! Why had things to turn out this way?

I kept running – trying not to think about what to do with that realization now, I would have plenty of time after I've saved her – and concentrated on arriving to save her in time.

It was like a nightmare. – I was running and running as fast as I could but it felt like I wasn't coming forth an inch.

No! Chloe!

Finally the number of trees at my sides became less and less and a little point of dim light grew bigger and bigger at the horizon. Together with the optical hints were also the audible ones like Leah's growl and Carlisle's confused voice. "Leah? Did something happen?"

A girl's face with honey hair and big dark-red eyes appeared in Leah's thoughts. She gritted her teeth and growled louder. She crouched down a little, preparing to jump for an attack.

No!

I jumped out of the forest and crushed into my sister. With a shaking sound we both fell to the muddy ground. I heard how some ribs of hers broke with a crack.

What are you doing?! Leah shouted at me. Are you already that insane?!

I didn't respond. I jumped to my feet and spun around.

Shock deformed her beautiful face. Her eyes opened wide in fear, her hands pressed to her chest; holding something metallic in them. Her whole body was shaking unregulated. She didn't move an inch when I rushed towards her; maybe she was too scared to be able to make her body to move.

I stopped in front of her, hiding her from Leah's angry gaze. She growled. I growled back.

"Seth. What is all this about?" Carlisle asked me; the confusion now carved by alarm.

I didn't answer him. I concentrated on Leah who was getting up now, her eyes narrowed when she saw me protecting my love.

Betrayer!!

You don't understand anything! I growled back.

"Seth! Leah!Please stop! What's wrong with you?" Carlisle pleaded.

At that moment a new voice appeared in my head.

Don't dare to do anything reckless you two! Jake bellowed.

Then he and all my other wolf-brothers ran out of the dark forest, building up a line at both sides of Leah.

Someone screamed in fear behind me. I identified the bell-like voice at once. I turned around to look at her worried.

Don't be afraid, I'll protect you. I thought and hoped she would understand it without me saying out aloud.

To my own surprise it seemed that she actually did. She stretched her hands out reaching for me and pulled herself to my giant body, burrowing her face in my fur. Her cold body felt like ice on my hot skin but it wasn't uncomfortable at all. It was just the opposite; it felt like someone had set me on fire and she was the fresh rain, saving me from burning to ashes.

"Don't leave me alone." She sobbed.

Leah growled again and she winced.

Sam! Stop her! Jacob commanded. All the wolves surrounded the silvery grey wolf, capturing her into a perfect circle and forcing her back into the woods.

Get out of my way!! Leah yelled.

The frightened angel pressed her face harder to my body.

"Please d-don't g-go away," she begged, her voice shaking. "P-please stay with m-me."

Don't be afraid. I thought and nudged her at the back of her head.

She gasped and looked up. I was surprised by her bravery because she didn't cry, then I remembered that she couldn't although she might have wanted to.

I won't go anywhere. Promise.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"She'd understand me!!" something in me cheered. "We're connected in a special way!!"

Again she stretched her arms, stroking my face and pressing her smooth cheek to my giant hairy one.

"Thank you," she whispered again.

I closed my eyes in pleasure and sighed silently, too. It felt like dreaming.

Seth. A voice called me.

Shut up. I answered without opening my eyes.

Fine, than continue snuggling with your scared love as a monstrous wolf. The voice said sarcastically. I've always wanted to see a wolf kissing a girl who's 'bout ten times smaller than itself.

I opened my eyes and turned around to look into the faces of the two Alphas from La Push. The others had taken Leah away to make her calm down.

What're you trying to tell me, Jake?

Nothing special. He answered casually and shrugged with his big shoulders. I just thought that it'd be better if you hug her as a human.

I thought about if for a second to conclude that he was right, and nodded. I turned back to Chloe who was staring at me with sad eyes and shaking hands. I stroke her pale face with my hot cheek to calm her down. It worked. She sighed in relief.

Don't worry. I told her and looked into her dark-red eyes. Don't be afraid. I'll be right back.

Then I run together with Jacob and Sam into the forest without looking back. It would just have make things more difficult. Sam left us alone to look after Leah. Jake and I phased back.

"Pfff…"

"What's so funny, Jake?"

"Nothing special. Sam's just eased," Jake answered.

"Why?"

"Cause you listened to me without any objection," he explained, laughing. "That shows that your brain is still working… at a certain level."

"Nice to know," I said and grimaced.

"Certainly," Jake commented. "Hmm… it seems that you're off clothes."

I looked down at my naked body. "It seems so. I was in a hurry."

"Certainly," he repeated with a grin and handed me his backup-shorts. "Here you go."

"Thanks man."

His grin grew wider. "Always ready to service."

I put on the shorts; they were a little bit too big. "If you're waiting for me to thank you for your little show at the beach, then forget it."

He rolled his eyes and got dressed, too. "Oh, c'mon, Seth. You're still alive, aren't you?"

"A miracle."

He laughed. "Yeah, but still, you're alive. Isn't that great? And your lovely angel is alive, too. That's the main thing, isn't it?"

My eyes narrowed and my voice became a threatening edge. "Yeah, it is indeed. But the whole thing was just 'bout to turn into a disaster. It was just an inch away from an unhappy ending. And it'd all be your fault, Mr. Alpha, Sir."

He rolled his eyes again. "I've never imagined that I'd say that one day, but you are a pessimist, Seth."

I couldn't hide my grin any longer. "Last year you told me to be not so optimistic."

"Yeah," Jake agreed. "But I've not imagined you'd take it so literally. How 'bout finding something in the middle? The middle's always the healthiest place."

"I'll try," I promised and started to run back.

Again it felt like I wasn't running fast enough, but this time it wasn't because I hurried to save her life. I couldn't take her back in my arms fast enough.

"She likes me!" the voice in my cheered again. "She asked me to not go away! She wants me to stay with her!!"

I got nearer and nearer. Finally I could see her lovely face again… and stopped abruptly.

She looked so scared.

I swallowed.

Was that my fault? Have I scared her? Was she afraid of me?

No. She wasn't, was she? She needn't to be afraid of me; I didn't want her to be afraid of me or of anything else. I would always protect her.

But… would she be scared if I ran to her and pull her at my chest now? – Probably.

"Take it slowly – step by step."Edward's voice echoed in my head.

I nodded. "Okay."

Slowly I walked out of the woods. She was still standing where I had left her. Her body frozen like a statue, her eyes wide with fear. Esme was at her side, holding one of her still shaking hands.

"I'm so sorry about frightening you," I started and walked slowly towards her to not scare her again. "So sorry – will you forgive me, Chloe?"

She winced slightly before she nodded, her eyes not leaving mine.

"She forgives me!" the voice cheered again. "She really likes me!"

I smiled and passed the left distance between us in a few long strides. I pulled her to my chest and closed her in the circle of my arms. It felt like hugging an ice sculpture but the coldness was comfortable, not freezing.

"Thank you," I whispered into her ear.

She shuddered in response.

She felt so small, so breakable in my big arms. I would never let go of her again, never leave her alone on this "cold lonely planet" – as Bella has called it – again. Never! I would always stay at her side, always protect her. Always!

She gasped when I stroke her cool smooth cheek with my big hand, but she didn't object, so I continued stroking her. She was so beautiful, a pure angel, an awesome goddess, an honest girl.

Her mouth was slightly opened, breathing unevenly.

"I don't smell bad for her!" How many times has this strange voice cheered inside of me 'til now? I couldn't remember, but I was sure that it had already spoken up for many times tonight. A dream – tonight was just like a wonderful dream. I wished I would never wake up again. Without thinking I bended down to her face.

My lips were just about an inch away from hers when she suddenly pushed me away.

"No!" she screamed.

I was totally unprepared for this and lost my balance. With a dull sound I landed on the cold ground of truth. – She didn't want me.

"No…" she whispered.

I raised one arm towards her; I was shaking just like her.

"Chloe…"

She shook her head fiercely before I could say more, pressing her hands to her ears and closing her eyes shut.

"No…" she whispered again, her body shaking harder now.

It was silence in the little meadow, silent and completely empty – just like my head. I couldn't think about anything; not even thinking about why. I was absolutely numb. All I was capable of was staring at her with blank eyes.

She winced and was just about to run back to her to protect her when I recognized that it was just Esme who suggested going home. She nodded slowly, staring straight forward.

A hand suddenly patted my shoulder but I didn't look who it was. I was still staring at her.

"Easy, Seth," Jake whispered. "A lot had happened. She needs to relax now."

I nodded mechanically.

Carlisle looked at me with sad eyes before he threw Jake a stiff nod and left with the others.

She was gone. She was afraid of me. She didn't want me. She didn't like me. Why did I come here? Why didn't let the others kill me before? This was worse than dying… much, much worse…

I've never imagined that such cruel pain would exist – it ought to be forbidden – no one had deserved to suffer this way, no matter what he'd done. I felt like dying – on a very, very slowly and painful way.

"Seth?" Jake's voice seemed to reach me from far away. "Seth, are you okay, kid?"

I must have nodded because he mumbled something like "Doesn't look like that."

It was silent for a few seconds again, then Jake couldn't stand it any longer.

"C'mon, Seth, let's go home for today."

I didn't object, I didn't even notice how he pulled me to my feet and dragged me to La Push. When I noticed we were already standing in front of my house's front door.

"Leah," I whispered finally.

"She's out in the woods with the others," Jake answered.

I had chased my sister out of our home. – No comment.

Jake pulled me in the house and upstairs into my room.

"Mom," I said after he had closed the door.

"She's at my house," he answered kindly again. I noticed that he was hiding something from me.

"Why?"

He pressed his lips together, thinking about whether it would be better to tell me or not.

"They… er… wanted to discuss about the whole thing," he finally told me.

"Oh," I said, not able to say more.

"Yeah, well, go to bed, Seth," Jake suggested. "It'd been a long night. Get some rest."

I nodded, staring at my untidy bed.

"Good kid," he said and left the room after he had looked at me for a long moment, perhaps waiting for me to collapse.

I waited 'til I heard the front door fell shut then I fell on my bed. The wooden frame protested raspy under my weight but I barely heard it. I didn't remember how long I was lying there, staring at the pillow without seeing it, listening to the wind outside without hearing it, inhaling the smell of wood without smelling it, feeling the soft coverlet on my skin without noticing it. Numb – there was no other word to describe my present condition.

I didn't know when and how, but finally I fell asleep – letting the nightmare overwhelm me.