Blake glanced at the cards in his hand. Not bad, but certainly not the best.

At least this game isn't being played for stakes.

Looking up at the group at the table, he nodded. "I'm in."

Nick smiled, glancing around the table before they lay their cards out, Blake only paying attention to about half the cheers and groans as the cards were displayed.

Sitting around the table were multiple ZPD officers, all whom had come over to celebrate Nick finally getting out of his wheelchair. Even with a long road of recovery still ahead, the fact that he could finally walk again was reason enough to celebrate.

After all, he did make it. Unlike some others.

Shaking his head slightly, Blake pushed the thought away and focused on the group again, as the next hand for the round was dealt out.

Officer Fangmeyer was sitting across from Blake, with Officer Delgato sitting to his right. The duo were chatting with Nick and Judy, both of whom were sitting next to each other and generally enjoying the evening. Officer Wolford sat next to Blake, and while he had attempted to start some conversation with him, Blake really hadn't made it easy for him.

The next several hands played quickly, Blake still not paying much attention to the game. He focused more on the group around him, and on his own thoughts as the evening slowly progressed.

"I'm just glad you're feeling better, Nick." Wolford said, grinning at him. "Morning brief just isn't the same without you and Judy there."

"Ah, I'll be back...eventually." Nick said with a laugh. "Truth is, I'm just stretching paid time off as much as I can. Best hustle that I've ever managed."

The comment drew a laugh from all the officers, and brought a slight smile onto Blake's face. It was nice to see people like this; to see a group of unrelated mammals acting like a family again.

Like the one that I had. And that I let down.

"Blake?" He heard Judy ask, but he didn't respond.

I don't deserve to sit here like this, happy. Not after what happened to Finnaly.

"Blake? You ok?" He heard Wolford ask, as he shook his shoulder slightly.

Jolting back into focus, Blake quickly scanned the table. The obvious looks of concern focused on him made him look down at the center of the table. "Yeah, yeah." He lied. "I'm fine. Sorry, just...thinking."

"About what?" Nick asked quietly, the gentle tone in his voice getting Blake to look back up at him. "You can talk to us." He looked around the group for confirmation, and Blake watched as all of them nodded.

Sighing, Blake shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

All I have to do is stand up and walk away. Walk away, cool off, and come back happy.

"It's nothing." He said, standing up. "Just...I'm gonna go use the latrine real quick." He muttered, heading off towards the bathroom.

Running away. Like always. Like I always do.

Halfway there, Blake froze, standing and staring towards the door.

Everytime I run, I feel like shit. All because I'm a coward.

"Blake?" He heard behind him.

Just like the time that I let everyone down. I…

Blake's thought trailed off. He knew that every time he ran from his problems, he was being a coward. Yet, if he raced to face them, he thought he was a coward as well. It made no logical sense, at all. Both couldn't make him a coward; only one could.

"Blake?" Another voice asked.

I know that I want to undo what I've done, but I can't. Both of those choices can't make me a coward, and I know running is what makes me one, so if I face the issue...does that fix it?

"Blake, you ok?" He heard the sound of a chair being pulled out, the scraping sound grinding its way through his thoughts.

Something snapped inside Blake, a tension that he had carried for far too long.

Well...if this is how it's going to be, then that's how it is. They all get to find out how much of a coward I am, but no more hiding. Not anymore. I earned my place as a coward; I can own it.

Turning in place suddenly, Blake spun to face the group, struggling to keep his eyes from watering, in a frightful mix of fear and pain and anger. "No." He managed to get out, as he worked his way back to the table and sat down in his chair, letting Wolford help guide him down, concern evident on the faces of the entire group. "I'm not."

Fangmeyer, Delgato, and Wolford all looked confused, but Nick and Judy looked more concerned, watching Blake. He didn't care, not anymore. They could judge all they wanted; he needed this release.

"Blake." Judy asked softly, looking straight at him. Even in his unstable state, Blake knew that she was only concerned. "What's wrong?"

Well, it's been a good run. Time for others to learn the truth behind Blake West.

"I let them all down." Blake managed to whisper out, before the first few tears spilled over. He couldn't tell if they were tears of sadness or anger. "I failed, and it cost us all a part of us."

He could tell that the three officers who didn't know about his service were more confused as he spoke, but Nick and Judy understood instantly. "Oh, god." Nick muttered under his breath, but Blake could barely hear him as he began to shake slightly. "Blake...what happened?"

Taking a few moments to think on it, Blake finally broke. He broke down and cried the tears he hadn't been able to shed at the hospital, the tears he couldn't cry at the grave, the tears he hadn't managed to shed at any point. He cried for his own shame, he cried for the death of his friend, and he cried for the pain his own team had suffered. He just let it all out.

Feeling arms wrap around him, Blake tensed up for a brief moment, and then just leaned into the shoulder that was offered, soaking the shirt and fur with his tears. He could hear Nick speaking softly to someone, but he wasn't able to make out who he was talking to, let alone the words. Blake felt himself being rocked slightly and just went with it, letting the tears roll down his snout as he unleashed all the pain he had bottled up ever since he had deployed the first time.

As the face of all those he had lost raced through his mind, he cried harder. The soldiers of his first two units, the two ASOC members who has stepped on that IED, and finally ending with SGT Finnaly, whose face remained etched in his mind the longest as he cried.

Blake wasn't sure how long he cried, but eventually he managed to slow his breathing and regain control of himself. He finally withdrew from the hug, looking into the worried face of Judy, with the rest of the officers sitting on the couch, waiting quietly for him. He looked back to Judy, then looked down. "Sorry." He mumbled, wiping his face dry with his own paws. "I didn't mean…"

"Blake." she said gently, resting a paw on his shoulder. "It's alright." Hopping down off the chair she had been standing on, Judy began walking over the couch. "But after that, I think you need to talk to us about some of this."

Blake looked over at the group that sat on the couch, scanning all their faces, looking for the signs that they knew he was a coward, that he was broke, that he was nothing.

To his surprise, he saw none of that. Instead, Blake saw worry and concern. He saw a drive to help. He saw a the faces of mammals who weren't judging him, who wanted to help him with whatever had lead him to this breakdown.

I wasn't expecting this. He thought, as he slowly got to his feet and walked over to one of the free chairs, sitting down so he was across from all of the officers.

And I'm not sure I want to do this.

So, yet another chapter up. Got this one up a little later than I wanted to, but I managed to get it up.

I do have a single question for those of you reading: is the current posting cycle good, or would it be better for everyone if I moved the posting time from late at night/early morning and made it sometime during the day?

Outside of that, thanks again to everyone who is reading the story, and hopefully everyone is enjoying these coming chapters. A lot is going to be happening, so hopefully the ride doesn't get so wild that it jumps off the tracks. Happy reading!