"Did you know that sagging ones pants originated in prison? Inmates would purposely sag their pants as a sign that they were available to other inmates for sex," Eddie told a stunned Alice.
Tugging the waistband of the brand new jeans up his hips a little higher Alice did her best to keep the laughter out of her reply, "Um, no. I didn't know that. Quite the font of knowledge, aren't you Edward?"
Still not used to his mumblings being heard and understood no matter how quietly he said them Edward spoke out loud when he should've kept his thoughts to himself. "I know a lot of things, Bella Cullen I can't work out," he mumbled.
Alice, raising her eyebrows behind his back smiled. She wanted to shout 'well, duh. She's hostile because she wants you, you idiot' but didn't. These two had been circling each other for a month and whilst it was entertaining to watch, it was also making the sexual tension in the house reach a fever pitch.
If only she could stick the little bastard with her tailors pins, make him bleed, get him to see the blood and faint, then Bella could come to his rescue...
Returning to his home after his confrontation with Bella felt like a punishment to Eddie.
She hadn't answered any of his questions and what she had said only led to more questions. He had no experience with women and the vampire female seemed unstable and contradictory at best.
She drummed into him the need to be vigilant with his thirst, then runs off and leaves him alone?
She picked and nagged about his habits then took him out of his comfort zone and couldn't understand why he reacted the way he did?
She was sweet and kind and tender and gentle with him then switched personalities in a heartbeat and then wondered why he was so lost himself?
Eddie had never lost his temper, ever. But on that run towards the Cullen house his anger and frustration had welled up inside him and it had all come spilling out of his brain and mouth in a rush once he'd confronted a cowering Bella.
If it was something that was going to be a part of him now that he was a vampire he wasn't sure he wanted it. And who could he ask? Bella was all up for pointing out his mistakes but when it came to really focusing on teaching him about what he was she gave him the basic physical information and left out all the emotional stuff. And it was the emotional side of his new nature that was giving him the most grief. He was feeling things he'd never felt before, and things he'd never had a point of reference for before and she simply didn't seem interested in seeing him through that.
He was going to hate himself for a long time for yelling at her. Sure, she'd reneged on their agreement, but she hadn't deserved his angry words. Not all of them anyway. If she'd let him he'd apologise for that. Hopefully she'd write it off as newborn confusion, but he doubted it.
In just ten days she'd gotten his measure. She knew when he needed quiet and she knew when he needed force. She was expert at hiding her emotions from him – and everyone else he'd wager – but he had no experience himself with that. He thought he was going to struggle to maintain his anger, and his indifference to her. Hiding his reaction to her body was going to be impossible once they were living across a landing from one another. She'd made it quite clear that she loathed him, despite the tenderness she showed him now and then, so Eddie knew that his desire for her was completely one sided.
She'd made a pledge to her father to teach Eddie what she could. She'd made a deal with Eddie himself that she'd help him sort himself out. And that's all it was for her. A deal. He had to remind himself over and over that she wasn't sharing her time with him because she wanted to; she was doing it because it was an obligation.
He was just a 'job' to her.
Each time she slipped her hand into his it was so she could measure him, not because she wanted to touch him or to feel close to him. She needed to gauge his reactions to things, that's all. And he'd fallen for it. The first real contact he'd ever had with someone of the opposite sex was all a ploy to control him.
And didn't that shake Eddie's fledgling self confidence up?
He'd been taken in by her and she'd fooled him royally. She'd said she was his friend but she really wasn't. She had a job to do and she'd done it any way she could. She'd tricked him into leaning on her and she'd done it just so she could discharge a debt to her father.
Seeing her in the water half naked Eddie's libido had woken up from twenty-seven years of dormancy and he felt a prize idiot because of it. He'd gotten a crush on what effectively was a tutor. He'd formed an attachment to his teacher! And if that didn't take the prize for stupidity he'd taken her tenderness and care as her way of reciprocating that attachment. But it was all a lie.
His body didn't think it was a lie because he was still hard. He'd been hard at the beach, he'd stayed hard all the way home and he'd been hard as a rock as he'd fought with Bella in her room. In fact, the angrier he'd gotten in her bedroom the more turned on he'd gotten. Then he'd flown home, retracing his steps through the forest, and his erection hadn't abated at all.
Cursing himself he strode into his home and made straight for his bathroom. It was totally empty, even the shower curtain and its rings were gone, so when he twisted the taps on he was sprayed with cold water. Quite fitting he thought as it doused the front of his already damp trousers. Shucking them off and pulling his undershirt off over his head he stepped under the water to wash the salt off his skin and sighed in relief as the water turned boiling hot.
Looking down at himself he cursed the return of this one bodily function. "Why can't you be interested in someone nice?" he asked his straining dick. He'd never talked to it as an individual before, but just then, in the shower of his own home he did just that. He cursed the thing and wondered out loud why he couldn't just go on as he had before, never interested in anyone or anything, just idly chugging along.
His toiletries had been packed up so he had nothing to wash himself with so he simply rubbed himself down in the fresh water until he could no longer feel the salt and sand on his skin. As he rinsed between his legs his manhood twitched and he let out a rumbling groan as he palmed himself for the first time ever.
Masturbation was something other people did as far as Eddie was concerned. He'd never had a fantasy or even an image to bring to the front of his mind to use as inspiration before. But now, as he fisted himself for the first time, he did have an image to recall. Bella, standing in front of him soaking wet and glazed from whatever had bothered her. Her nipples had been taut against her brassiere and her slender legs had still been dripping with water. Her hair was wild and that tiny pink tongue poking out between her lips had seemed so inviting.
Despite believing she loathed him it was this image that gave Eddie his first ever manually induced orgasm. It had taken but a minute and it felt nothing like waking from a wet dream because he drove this orgasm himself, not his subconscious. He deliberately pictured Bella in his mind's eye and he deliberately used that image to bring himself to the brink. And when he felt the first sting in his balls that was his approaching climax he shouted her name and spilled into his own hand.
It was so intense he had to use his free hand to steady himself on the tiled wall. It went on for so long he had to bite his own tongue to stop himself chanting her name so loud the neighbours would come running. The relief and the release were so consuming he saw stars.
The self loathing that came later was hardly worth it.
Disgusted with himself and with the looming agony of packing up his bedroom in the front of his mind Eddie turned into the world's biggest procrastinator. He did everything and nothing so he didn't have to deal with any of it. But there was really nothing left in the house other than the contents of that one room to occupy his mind so he came up with some pretty ingenious methods of eating up his time.
He pulled up the carpet in his mothers room and tied it with twine before leaning it up against the garage for the rubbish collection. He raked leaves in the backyard and scooped them all into yet more black plastic garbage bags. He cleaned the guttering, serviced the central heating vents and the air intakes outside. He wiped down the ancient beaded curtain that hung in the doorway to the laundry room and he cleaned the flywire screens on all the exterior windows.
And still nobody magically came along and did the packing while he wasn't looking.
Denying it didn't change it he thought to himself as he finally went indoors to tackle it once and for all. The empty boxes stared up at him from the floor as though they were judging him. They needn't have, he was judging himself just fine on his own thank you very much he thought as he kicked the closest box.
Having to do this alone was his own fault. He'd had Bella to do it with but he'd told her he didn't need her help anymore. He was on his own. Again.
He didn't regret the argument because it had felt good to be honest with her, but it meant he had to do this part alone – and he certainly couldn't have tolerated her presence right then - but he didn't like being in the house without Bella all the same. She could've stayed in the living room or hung out in the yard or whatever she wanted but at least, if he needed her, she'd be close. As it was she was a mere six miles away but to Eddie it may have been six hundred.
As angry as he was with her and with himself he still needed and wanted her there. Maybe not in his face, and her sarcasm and teasing wouldn't have been appreciated either, but having her nearer would've helped. Maybe. Probably.
Somehow that snarky, annoying girl had made him as dependant on her as his mother had and she'd done it in less than two weeks! It had to stop. She didn't care about him; he was a task to her. She didn't like him; she'd probably been honest when she said it even though he regretted saying it himself. He was on his own and he needed to finish what he started.
He had to stand on his own two feet. He had to take control of himself and his environment and he had to start deciding where he was headed from here on in. That wasn't going to happen if he continued to let others make decisions for him. He may have only ever done a few basic things of his own accord before, and if he took charge now he was sure he was going to make some mistakes along the way, but what Bella had told him two days before had stuck with him. Failure was just the proof of having tried. Eddie wanted and needed to try. On his own.
So with another kick to the silent but accusing cardboard box he began making his very first independent decisions as a vampire.
There was no way to tell if they were the right ones but at least they were his and his alone.
He packed only three books into the first box. His father's final diary, his own current one and the library catalogue he used to order volumes for himself. It wasn't current but it was all he had on hand. If he was going to get serious about learning best he start learning modern things so taking his stash of ancient texts wasn't going to be practical or help him in the long run.
He may not like how Bella described him but he was old fashioned, he didn't understand the modern world and he didn't behave the way others his age did. That was going to stop right now he thought as he looked over at his closet.
He put some of his underwear into an empty box along with his good winter coat but everything else could be donated. He wasn't Eddie Masen anymore; he was going to be Edward Cullen so the things Eddie had worn were going to be given away. He'd buy new clothes.
Into the same box went one pair of loafers, his comb and a box of new toothbrushes. He wouldn't need anything else. No razor, no mouthwash and nothing related to the care of his spectacles. In fact he wasn't taking his spectacles with him at all. Bella said she liked them but she also said she liked him. If he was going to believe that one of those statements was a lie he'd have to believe the other was too. So his glasses wouldn't be going with him to his new home.
He laid his satchel in the bottom of the last empty box and looked around his room. He gathered his watch and his alarm clock and added them to the box too. He didn't want anything else.
Sighing to himself he looked at the three boxes. His entire human life amount to three boxes and none of them were full. Bella had been right. What had he gotten out of a life hiding in his parents' house? Three books, some underwear, glasses that he no longer needed and his watch. Oh, and a nice dose of hypochondria and some OCD tendencies if he remembered her outburst correctly, which he did.
Tipping it all into one box he sealed the top shut with tape and tucked it under his arm. He didn't look back as he left his room and then the house.
The two things he'd loved the most were gone and they weren't coming back. His parents house was empty save for some jumble for the local op shop and Eddie Masen was dead.
While Eddie was packing up his paltry possessions Bella was trying to make sense of what she'd done.
She stood, in the corner of her room, backed up against the doorframe to her bathroom, shaking and shivering. Esme rushed to her aide but was swiftly told to go away and to leave the panting, upset girl to her own devices.
Never one for confrontation Esme did as she was asked and left Bella alone, but she did send a short text to Carlisle letting him know about the argument. His response – after making sure that no harm had come to either party or his wife – was for her to do as she was bid and leave them alone. He was confident they'd sort it out and was actually quite pleased that Eddie had shown his true nature and that Bella had been scolded so soundly.
Esme wasn't at all sure. As her childe she hated anything that would upset Bella. But recognising that Carlisle could be right, as he often was, she left Bella alone upstairs where up until ten days prior she'd spent most of her days anyway.
Bella was pleased that Esme had listened and had left when asked. She didn't want to discuss either the fight or what had led to it with anyone. She didn't want anyone to know that her reaction to her newfound desire was to run and she didn't want the innuendos and the torment she knew her siblings would start if they found out.
No, Bella would deal with her feelings in her usual way. Which was to ignore them. Tamp them down and hide them. Pretend they weren't there and that the screaming match had been over exactly what Eddie thought it had been. She'd left him alone to test him. It was better that he believed that.
She thought she knew him well enough to know that he'd never cope with the truth. Hell, he didn't cope with anything really and this would just send him into yet another spin. He didn't deserve that with everything else he had going on so Bella would just forget about it and concentrate on mending her own sensibilities in time for him to arrive and move in.
So that's what she set out to do. Propping her ruined bedroom door back into its frame she undressed and got into the shower, just as Eddie had done. She lathered her hands and washed all the salt and sand from her body and just like Eddie when her hands moved between her legs she groaned.
The moisture there had nothing to do with the wet panties she'd run home in from the beach or even from the spray of the shower. It was all about desire. But there was no room in Bella's life for desire and so she ignored her body and its reaction to Eddie.
When she'd dried herself and changed into clean jeans and a jersey she set her room to rights and flopped down onto the leather sofa and stared out over the yard and beyond to the river.
He'd called her an unfeeling bitch. He'd said he didn't need her anymore. And he needed to be right on both counts for this to work. She needed to not care what happened to him from here on in. She needed to let him do his thing, to learn for himself and from the others and she needed for him not to need her anymore.
With the plan firm in her mind Bella watched the river and listened for his arrival.
She assumed he'd be hours. She knew he'd be fuming. She assumed he'd agonise over every decision regarding his personal belongings and that he'd come with boxes and boxes of things he wanted to keep. And like so many things about Eddie she'd assumed wrongly.
She hung over the top railing of the staircase so she could see and hear him being greeted by Esme and then being ushered into the living room for the second time in a couple of hours. He had a single cardboard box under his arm and that was all. Nothing else. He'd showered – he didn't smell like the sea anymore – and he'd changed his clothes but his hair was still wild and to Bella he still looked pissed. At least that assumption was right she thought to herself as she went back into her room.
"Come in, come in," Esme greeted him warmly. "It's so good to finally have you here, Eddie."
Putting his box at his feet he slid out of his shoes and put them by the front door. "Please, I'm going to be Edward from now on," he said more calmly than he actually felt. "And thank you for having me. Please accept my apologies for the way I behaved on my last visit."
Waving her hand as though it was nothing Esme asked him to forget all about it and to please follow her up to his new room.
"The others won't be home for a while yet so it'll be quiet here until then," she said as they made their way up the stairs. "This is Carlisle's study and Alice and Jasper's room," she pointed out as they went across the landing and towards another set of stairs. "This is my room and that's Emmett and Rosie's," she told him as they made their way to yet another set of stairs. "Good thing we don't tire," she laughed as they got to the top floor.
"Yes, good thing," he chuckled politely as they moved down the short hall towards what he knew was Bella's room. Scowling at the door that had been propped up haphazardly into its frame Edward sighed and shook his head at the mess he'd created. "I'll have that fixed," he told Esme as she handed him a key.
"Don't worry about it, darling," she told him kindly. "Happens more often than you'd think around here. Emmett will take care of it. And this is your room," she motioned to the closed door directly opposite Bella's. "Nobody goes into anyone else's room unless invited and what you do up here is your business. But don't forget, we hear really well," she giggled. "I hope you'll be comfortable here with us. We all understand how you're feeling right now, so don't think you have to come and join in right away. You take your time. Settle in. Your other boxes are in the garage so when you're ready the boys will help you bring them up. We're here if you need anything but we'll leave you alone too if that's what you need."
Looking down at the small brass key in his palm Edward felt grateful and nervous all at once. Not knowing what to say, or where to look, he simple nodded and stepped forward to insert the key. He turned back to thank Esme for her kindness but she was gone. Wow, they all moved so fast. He'd have to get used to that he thought as he went into the room properly.
Setting his box on the floor he looked around. The room was unexpectedly vast. It was also the mirror image of Bella's across the hall. The bathroom door was right where he expected it to be, on the opposite side of the room, and the bed they'd thoughtfully provided for him was against the wall in direct opposition to where Bella's had stood in her room.
She had full length windows that looked out over the back, he had them looking over the front. Her room had been purple and silver, his was navy and grey.
Her bookcases were filled with novels and his were bare. Her desk had a computer on it and she had a stereo system and speakers on a high shelf above that. He had the shelf and the desk, but they were bare.
He imagined her closet to be full of dresses and skirts, pants and shirts. His was empty and would remain that way until he could access his money.
Her room smelled of her unique scent and the cosmetics and toiletries in her bathroom. His smelled of fresh paint and new linens.
It wasn't going to take long to unpack he thought as he put the box on the desk an opened it. He put his watch on the nightstand and his alarm clock beside it. He set the correct time and ignored the alarm function. He'd never sleep again so didn't need reminding to wake.
His satchel found a home beneath his desk and his and his father's journals a place on the bookcase. He tossed his underwear into the top drawer of the dresser and put his toiletries bag on the counter in the vast bathroom with the box of toothbrushes and his comb.
He put his loafers into the bottom of the closet and hung his winter coat on a hanger.
Edward was unpacked. This was going to be his new home. He had no access to his money, no job to go to, no family of his own and the one friend he thought he had was across the hall, probably still angry with him, and her scent was going to torment him forever.
Bella was jammed up against her bedroom door listening intently – and going crazy for a hit of his scent - as Edward unpacked that one single box. Where was everything else she thought? His room had been crammed full of crap and he'd shown up with one box?
Where were his clothes? All his beautiful books? And why now did she think of them as beautiful when before she'd thought they were old and stuffy and boring? Was it because they were his and she knew he loved them?
When all movement in his room ceased Bella closed her eyes and listened even harder. What was he doing now? Did he like the room? Did he like the colours she'd picked? Had he found her note yet?
A/N: Thank you for reading.
So many lovely reviews to the last two chapters, thank you all so much for your continued good wishes.
Please review.