PART 10: WHERE FRIENDSHIPS ARE SEALED
"It wasn't that you said "no", you know."
They'd been working in companionable silence for over an hour, he behind his desk, she on his "thinking couch". It made paperwork more bearable to suffer through it together.
Grissom looked up, surprised. "Excuse me?"
"It really wasn't so bad that you said "no" to me that night. That wasn't what hurt."
Realizing that even if she let him return to his work his concentration would be completely blown, he removed his glasses and came to join her on the couch.
Sara closed her laptop and set it on the floor, turning toward him. "It was the way you shut me out afterwards. You ignored me, you avoided me. Sometimes you were actually mean to me."
He tried not to feel defensive. "You weren't exactly Miss Mary Sunshine yourself, you know. But you're right. It was complicated."
"Nothing's THAT complicated."
Grissom sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "You knew about what was going on with my hearing."
"I know now. I didn't know then. And frankly, I'd assumed that had more to do with your answer than you becoming an ass."
Oh, dear. He was in trouble. Better try honesty. "You're probably right. I guess I just figured that you were done with me, after I said "no". And so I felt like I needed to be tougher with you to keep me from feeling how angry you were or how dismissed I was." He eyed her hopefully, needing her to understand because he'd just maxed out on his ability to discuss emotional matters. "I see the idea backfired on me, because you weren't done with me at all."
"Oh, I was done."
He raised on eyebrow.
"Don't flatter yourself, Grissom. I wasn't pining for you or anything. I wasn't wallowing in the rejection. I'd felt enough of all that BEFORE that night."
"So then, what..."
"Grissom," she explained patiently, as though speaking to a child, "we've been friends for a long time. Sure, you're a big flirt-"
"I'M a flirt?!"
"-and sure we had fun with all that," she continued without missing a beat. "But I think we can both agree that at the core of it all, we just liked having each other around. We understood each other."
She looked at him, as though for permission to keep going. He nodded. "But then things got a little weird between us; I think you got scared off by your overly-friendly feelings and reverted to ass-mode, but who knows." She couldn't hide her grin, which was good, because it made her words much easier for him to swallow. "And then boom, a delivery man with a plant arrives at my door."
"It was a nice plant."
"Yes, it was. But if you want the truth..."
He thought about that for a moment, not sure if he was ready for it. "Okay..."
"I had to laugh a little about it. I mean, it was very sweet, and the sentiment behind it was one of the main reasons I decided to stay. But I couldn't help thinking how funny it was that you seemed to be under the impression that the whole situation was all about you." She met his eyes. "Is this too much honesty for one day, or do you want me to continue?"
He was sure that his eyes must have betrayed his wariness, but he swallowed and nodded as bravely as he could.
"Grissom," she took his hand and held fast to it, "I came to Vegas because you asked me to. I even stayed because you wanted me here. But it wasn't because I was head-over-heels. That was never the reason."
"Are you saying you were never interested?"
"Of course not! Don't be ridiculous! But more than wanting to jump you-"
He coughed.
"-I just liked having you around. I mean, you took me pretty far from home and my friends. I came to a place where people were hostile toward me for awhile. You were all I had. And even though I've made other friends in Vegas, especially here at work, you were still... well, not my best friend, but you were... Grissom. In fact, I think that sometimes all of the other stuff was just an excuse for us to spend more time together. You know?"
Grissom was looking at her smaller hand curled around his. "Is this your way of saying "let's just be friends"?"
A pause. "Maybe." She ducked her head to try to meet his eye. "How would you feel about that?"
He released her hand and turned to face forward, laying his head against the back of the couch, slouching a bit. He was suddenly feeling very tired.
"No, you don't, Grissom," she demanded. "No shutting down on me. You wanted to talk, so let's talk."
He rolled his head toward her and looked her straight in the eye. "I just want you in my life."
A simple statement, but the emotions behind it were so raw. She leaned forward and kissed him, however chastely, on the lips. "You've got me, either way."
He smiled, a real smile. "Then that's enough."
A knock on the door, and the moment was gone.
END OF PART 10