Author's note: Okay, people! It's the moment we've all been waiting for! The chapter in which the story earns its M rating. This chapter is all Aoshi and Misao, remember how Misao stormed off after chapter 8? Well, this follows on after that.

Chapter 11

Aoshi didn't like it. No-one had seen Misao since she'd fled his office four nights ago. She had officially run away. Though the others didn't know the exact reason for Misao's disappearance, they'd started to wonder. He'd noticed them looking at him differently.

But that meant little to him. Not knowing where Misao was, or what she was doing or whether she was even alright was having a more detrimental effect on him than he'd anticipated. He was uneasy all the time, he couldn't stay still, and he snapped at anyone who dared talk to him. But it was more than just not knowing, it was the pure lack of Misao that made his shoulders tense. A world without Misao's laugh, without her smile, without her scent or her 'Aoshi-sama's' was an evil, empty place.

The general opinion was that Misao would come back when she was ready; she just needed some time to herself. But that wasn't good enough for Aoshi; he couldn't take it anymore. He was approaching breaking point. He would have to leave himself if he didn't do something soon.

He summoned Hannya.

"Yes, Okashira?" he said, seeming to appear out of nowhere.

"Go out and find Misao," ordered Aoshi.

"I'm sure she'll return; why don't you wait until the end of the week?" suggested the phantom onmitsu. Aoshi turned on him.

"Go now!" he barked angrily.

"Yes, Okashira," Hannya replied formally and disappeared. Aoshi turned towards the window to watch the black trees swaying against a navy sky. Now, he would wait. If anyone could find Misao, it was Hannya.

Sure enough, after two or three hours, Aoshi sensed a presence nearby.

"Well?" he said aloud to the apparently empty room.

"She's in a bar in the old district," spoke the unseen voice.

Aoshi got his coat.

ooo

Misao's misery was slowly turning into a calmer depression. She sat in the dark bar with her coat on and her hands around a glass of whiskey and ice. No-one had asked her her age, this wasn't that nice a place. She came here because she could sit alone and let the alcohol numb her. It didn't take much, Misao only had one drink a night, she was too much of a ninja to get properly drunk and rob herself of her senses. Mostly she just concentrated on the next day, where her money was coming from, where she was going to stay. She wouldn't let herself think about past days with the Oniwabanshuu. One day at a time was all she could handle.

"Hey, I'm gonna be closing up soon," said the bartender gently. Misao started out of her stupor and realised that they were the only two people left in the bar.

"Oh right, sorry," she said, sliding of the stool and straightening her stiff legs.

"You got anywhere to stay tonight?" asked the bartender. He was a young man, with very natural features and kind eyes.

"Yeah, I'll find somewhere, probably a motel, it's okay," said Misao.

"You could always stay with me, I got a bed free." The man smiled at her as she looked at him. Maybe it was the whiskey or the loneliness but she considered his offer. She could do with a friend, and he didn't seem like a bad guy. And she was Misao Makimachi, right? She could take care of herself.

"Sure, that sounds good, thank you."

"Okay, great." He smiled again, finished wiping down the counter and turned of the lights. A streetlight outside illuminated their path.

Misao knew it was cold but she wouldn't let it bother her. She paused at the door and waited for the bartender.

"So what's your name anyway?" she asked as he locked the door, wrapping her coat around her tightly.

"Tetsuo, I live just down the street," he said over his shoulder.

"I'm Misao." He turned to her and they started walking.

"So, Misao, how come you've been in the bar the past four nights in a row? You just popped up out of nowhere," he asked, sounding generally interested. Misao hesitated, it was too painful.

"It's a long story," she answered after a moment, averting her eyes.

"Ah, I get it. Man troubles." For some reason, that made Misao smile. There was a pause in the conversation in which, in the dark, Misao tripped on an uneven paving stone. Tetsuo caught her clumsily against his chest.

Misao looked up at him to thank him but stopped when she saw the look in his eyes. She had never had anyone look at her that way herself, but she'd seen enough romance movies to recognise it. The smile froze on her face.

Tetsuo was thinking about kissing her.

He seemed to decide it was a good idea too, because he started to lean down towards her. Misao didn't know what she wanted. She didn't have Aoshi anymore, couldn't she have Tetsuo instead? Did she want Tetsuo, though? No, she couldn't lie to herself, Aoshi was too ingrained in her heart to ever be got over. But she didn't have him anymore…

In the end, she didn't have to decide. She was just able to feel Tetsuo's breathing against her skin when he was ripped away from her and across the street by a terrifyingly powerful and furious force. Misao looked up into the face of her Okashira. He looked livid, his black hair moving slowly, stirred by a rush of vampire power.

"Aoshi-sa -?" started Misao in confusion.

"You are mine, Misao." he growled in her face, his blue eyes full of lightning, stealing any words she might have had from her throat. Aoshi seized her upper arm and began pulling her away. His grip was like a vice – she could feel the strength that could break her arm as if it was nothing - and she had to run to keep up with his angry stride. His mouth was set and his eyes were narrowed. She'd never seen him like this, and she couldn't deny it scared her. A thousand questions bustled and shoved each other in her head.

They stopped abruptly at a black sports car, one Misao recognised as belonging to the Oniwabanshuu.

"Get in." His voice still sent shivers down her spine. Even angry, it was still wonderful to hear. Dear God, she loved him.

She slid onto the leather seat and closed the door. Aoshi was already next to her. He revved the engine excessively and they peeled away. He drove like a madman, paying no attention to speed limits or traffic lights, and Misao clung to her seat for dear life.

They arrived at the Oniwabanshuu's temporary Tokyo headquarters and Aoshi threw open his car door, practically tearing it off. A split second later he was holding open Misao's door and she climbed out. She was like a leaf caught up in a river, getting dragged along. Underneath her fear, elevation was rolling. He had called her his. Surely this reaction was a step forward? Then why was he so angry at her… Was she in trouble?

Aoshi resumed his grip, this time on her wrist, and began leading her through the compound. His step was calmer and Misao didn't have to run to keep up. One look at his face however, and she knew he was no less enraged.

They began to move through unfamiliar corridors.

"Aoshi-sama, where are we going?" Misao dared.

"My quarters." he answered curtly, sending Misao's heart racing to her throat. Why were they going there of all places, why not to his office?

They turned into a corridor that had only one door in it. Aoshi released her wrist while he unlocked it and Misao tried not to rub her sore appendage. Aoshi then stepped back to let her in ahead of him. As she walked past, she chanced a glance at his eyes. He was still glaring at her.

Aoshi's living room was just as impersonal as his office, with only a few decorative items here and there, like an ink painting and some antique kodachi, but Misao was still thrilled to be there. Aoshi walked past her and threw his coat over a chair back, then stood in front of her, looking down, his arms folded. Fury rolled off him in waves.

"Explain yourself," he said, his voice carefully controlled. Misao was confused.

"For what?" she asked, hoping not to incur his wrath any more.

"What were you doing with that… that man?" he sneered, his straight nose wrinkling slightly, his eyes narrowing, and his top lip raising in a faint snarl. A testament to how angry he truly was.

"Tetsuo?" she said. Aoshi snorted in distaste. "He offered to let me stay with him and I accepted," she said innocently.

This didn't seem to help. In fact Aoshi looked like he was on the verge of a stroke. His glare was so intense Misao felt that she should burst into flames.

"You mean to say that you were going to… spend the night with him?" Aoshi sounded like he was choking on his rage.

"Yeah. But not like that!" she added hastily, cottoning on. Aoshi stared at her for a long moment, making her uncomfortable. It occurred to her that this was the closest she'd been to him in years, and that they were alone in his apartment. Too bad Aoshi was feeling more murderous than amorous.

"What's wrong? Why are you so angry, Aoshi-sama?" she asked.

This time it was Aoshi's turn to shiver inside at the sound of her voice, or more specifically the way she said his name. It had been too long, he was no longer desensitised to her. He turned away from her, unwilling to answer her question to himself, let alone out loud.

"Go back to your room, Misao," he said.

Misao stared at him now in amazement. He had dragged her away from the life she was scraping together for herself, back to the hardest place for her to leave, only to order her to go back to the life she'd left behind, the life he'd denied her, just because he said so!

Well, he'd said other things too, things like 'You are mine, Misao'. She thought she deserved answers.

Suddenly, just the sight of him incensed her.

"No, I won't!" Aoshi spun around, shocked at her defiance. "I want to know why you're acting like this! And I think that after what you've put me through I deserve an answer!" she cried.

"I said go back to your room," ordered Aoshi, his voice edged with his unquestionable authority. But Misao wouldn't be swayed.

"No! I don't have to do what you say; you're not my Okashira anymore, Aoshi! Remember? I wasn't ready… physically to join the Oniwabanshuu." He flinched when he heard his own words and inflection repeated back to him, telling him just how much he had hurt her. "And I'm going to stay right here until I'm satisfied!"

For one awful moment, nothing but silence filled the air. Then, slowly, Aoshi walked towards her until he was only inches away. His eyes relaxed into something like surrender and he lightly brushed his fingertips along her jaw, his eyes following them. It was like the calm before the storm and it made Misao's heart jump to her throat in terror.

"You brought this on yourself," he said quietly. For a second, Misao thought he was going to hit her. But then a spark ignited his eyes and he was kissing her, his hand rough against her neck.

Misao was so surprised that she let out a little squeak, but Aoshi kept his lips pressed against hers unrelentingly and Misao finally relaxed into him. She may not understand it, or believe it, but she knew this was what she had wanted ever since she'd found out what kissing was. Aoshi's arm brought her against him, and he continued to kiss her fiercely, chasing her mouth with his. She put her arms around his neck and tried to mirror his actions. She wanted to convey to him all the love she had always held for him. His passion was evident enough, though Misao was still having trouble believing it was really happening.

Misao felt the mattress at her back before she realised where they were. She was instantly filled with anticipation and nerves, but Aoshi didn't give her time to doubt herself. The fact of the matter was, she wanted what he wanted, the same as it had always been. Now she had a real opportunity to matter to Aoshi, she wasn't just going to turn her back. She tentatively rested her fingertips against his bare chest, testing whether or not she could do this.

"Misao," he said, his mouth next to her ear. "My control is hanging by a thread. Now is not the time for teasing. I want you to be sure about what you want." Just his voice beside her ear brought her out in goosepimples.

She gently pushed him aside and sat up. She knelt facing him. His eyes were fixed on her, carefully giving nothing away, the expression she had come to adore. She caught his eyes and held them, they were hypnotic in a way that had nothing to do with vampire power. There was nothing about him she didn't love with every part of her. Loosening the ties on her top, she pulled it over her head. She wasn't a curvaceous woman, nor a particularly feminine one, so she didn't wear a bra. She was instantly embarrassed at having exposed herself this way, reminding herself of her feelings of inadequacy, and she sat, awkward, with her hands in her lap.

Aoshi suddenly moved toward her, making her breath catch. He reached behind her, his head next to hers, the chill that came off his skin setting her own on fire. He picked up her long plait and began undoing it. Misao just waited, until her hair fell about her shoulders in soft black waves, the kinks catching the light.

Aoshi sat back and admired her.

"Misao," he began, sounding breathless, his eyes darting all over her, trying to take everything in. "How could you ever be so foolish as to think that I didn't want you?"

Misao just shrugged. His eyes flicked to hers just then and her heart skipped a beat. The look he gave her was predatory, merciless, irrational. He came forward and kissed her, hard. If Misao hadn't braced her hand against his jaw, it would have hurt. His hands moved to her hips and jerked them out from under her, putting her on her back. His cold hands slid all over her waist and back, grasping and stroking her skin, making her nipples grow hard. He pressed their chests together, enjoying the feel of her.

Her scent filled his head, driving him on even more urgently. Every little sigh or gasp hit him in the stomach like a wrecking ball, making his muscles flex in anticipation, driving him crazy. He nuzzled her neck, wanting her, but that was dangerous territory for a vampire, and there was so much more for him to discover. He braced his arms on the bed and began moving down her body, kissing and teasing her as he went, trying to ignore the frantic beating of her heart. He reached the valley of her breasts and stopped. He looked up at her from under his brow, only to see her staring at the ceiling, breathing heavily, trying to keep her cool. He wanted to see her eyes. He would make her look at him. He would make her lose that control.

He raised his head so that she couldn't feel him anymore, then, encircling her nipple with his mouth open wide, he bit down suddenly, being careful not to hurt her too much. Misao cried out and arched her back, whimpering. She looked down at Aoshi, and met his grinning eyes. Holding her gaze, he closed his lips around he nipple and sucked gently, as if in coy apology, making her whimper again.

Aoshi removed their clothes quickly, without really taking the time to enjoy it. His resolve had been washed away like sand before a tsunami. His mind was in shreds, all he knew was what his body wanted, and that was Misao. It felt so good to give in. He would claim her, make her a part of him, and she would never, ever leave him again. Everything about her enticed him, the delicacy of her figure, the uncertainty in her touches, the softness of her skin. Her warmth, her smell, her taste.

Pretty soon he was resting between her thighs, the knowledge of that fact thrilling through him. He was seconds away from making her his, and every fibre in his body ached for it. He gratefully licked the sweat from between her breasts. He adjusted his weight, preparing to enter her, when her small hand on his chest stopped him.

"Aoshi, wait." she said weakly and without conviction.

"I love you, Misao." He said it without thinking or hearing himself. "I love you, you're everything to me, please, Misao." He was rambling, but Misao let her hand fall away, giving him permission.

He drove himself inside her, hard, and her whole body convulsed with it. She bit down on her lip to stop herself from crying out and a tear escaped from her eye to run down her temple. Aoshi withdrew and thrust into her again, and again she jerked with the pain. He wasn't being as careful or as gentle as he should have been, and as in all things, their difference in sheer size wasn't making it any easier for her. Somewhere in the back of his mind it registered that this was wrong, that this wasn't how it was supposed to be. That she wasn't supposed to be crying.

Sick with guilt, he paused, but she refused to look at him. He brought one hand up to gently turn her face towards his, wiping away the tears. He asked her with his eyes what he could do, but she just shook her head. Aoshi rested his forehead against hers, holding her eyes in a disarmingly intimate manner. He let her see into his soul, everything, trying to convey to her what he felt, how much he valued this moment. Then he took hold of one of her hands and placed it on his lower back, letting her feel when his muscles moved to pull away or push himself into her again.

Like this, Aoshi began to move again. Slowly, agonisingly slowly, he left and re-entered her, pushing against her tight walls, her warmth clouding his mind, soothing him. He forced himself to let her adjust. As a rhythm began to build between them, Aoshi watched every wince (each one making him love her more deeply) until they stopped and gave way to gasps of pleasure. He ran his hand up the back of her thigh which rested against his hip and she ran her hand more confidently than before over his muscular shoulder and down to his chest.

A shudder ran through Aoshi, physical proof of the damage she was doing to his mind. His sweet Misao was undoing him. But still he forced himself to keep their tender rhythm. He focused on her eyes again,

"Are you close?" he whispered, his voice rough. A spasm within Misao made him grunt in surprise and pleasure, and, straining to maintain control, he was forced to ball his hand up in the sheets.

"I don't know. This is all new for me," she whispered back, her voice sounding sweeter than it ever had, her face aglow, sweat glistening along her neck and collarbone. Aoshi felt so young in his love for her.

"For me as well," he told her, hoping to reassure her. The world had truly become only for them, only that room, only that bed.

"How am I doing?" she breathed. She tried to smile. Aoshi lowered his mouth next to her ear.

"You're destroying me," he whispered confidentially. Another tensing of her muscles, this time slow and gentle, had him sighing her name into her hair. He took her free hand and kissed its palm.

"What about you? Are you... " She gasped. "Close?"

He laughed lightly. "You may think my self-control is limitless, but trust me, it is nothing compared to the power you have over me," he answered.

Misao whimpered, and locked her ankles behind him. She slid her arms under his and held onto his shoulders, burying her face into the curve of his neck, pulling him closer to her. She gasped again, and began to move her hips against his, begging him for more.

"I love you," she whispered.

"My Misao," he answered, sliding a free hand under her back.

"Ah! Aoshi, I can feel it,... It aches... Make it stop," she pleaded.

"Tell me how," he replied, listening intently.

"Kiss me," she said. Their mouths met clumsily, and he kissed her deeply. Her movements became more frantic. Aoshi gave in and increased the speed and depth of his thrusts, driving himself as well as her closer to the edge. She broke their kiss and cried out, digging her nails into his back as the tensing of her inner-muscles pushed him into his own climax.

When the world refocused, Aoshi raised his head and looked down for Misao's face. She was still breathing heavily, and she looked exhausted, but she smiled at him and rose up for a chaste kiss. Aoshi, being a vampire, couldn't get tired, but he felt spent, used in a good way, and warm. Strangely, he also felt more secure in that one moment with her than in any other in his whole life. He nuzzled the top of Misao's head as they lay next to each other, her head resting on his shoulder.

ooo

Aoshi lay perfectly still so as not to disturb her. To anyone else they would look like any normal pair of young lovers. You could not tell the difference in their rank, history or species as they lay there. Aoshi liked that thought. He'd never once in his life felt eighteen, but with Misao in his arms he could well imagine himself there. A boy and his girl, basking in the uncertain, fragile love they held for each other. He raised his hand and began tracing his fingertips up her arm as she slept, the delicate curve of her shoulder. He hadn't taken his eyes off her for a moment. This was all so new to him.

Misao inhaled deeply as she woke, her big aqua-marine eyes flickering open to fix on his face.

"Good morning," he said.

"Oh no, it's not morning already, is it?" asked Misao, worried that she would have to give him up.

"No, we have a few hours yet," he answered, amused by her reaction.

"Good," she mewed, and snuggled up against him.

"You shouldn't hold me like that. You'll get cold," he cautioned her.

"I don't care," she replied stubbornly. Aoshi let her mold herself against the length of his body, enjoying the strangeness of it. Little Misao… If he spread his fingers, he could span her back with one hand from shoulder to shoulder. In the afterglow of sex, he ignored guilt, and shame. He knew he'd been rough with her, that he should have been gentler for her first time. That, as Okashira, he shouldn't have done it, but he just felt glad, grateful even. Somehow she had crawled under his skin and made a home for herself in his soul when his back was turned. It felt much more natural to have her beside him than to be alone.

Maybe that was why he'd lost himself last night. Aoshi had always considered himself a man in control of himself, master over the darker side of his nature, but when he'd seen that man catch her, and hold her close, and move to kiss her, as if that was something he could just do, after all the years Aoshi had taken care of her, cherishing her without even realising it... He had known how Misao had felt about him, of course, but back then, somehow, it hadn't really mattered. He had been the Okashira, and that had been enough. But it was the hurt he'd caused her that had pushed her to Tetsuo. Aoshi had never feared the monster that he knew he could become, but last night it had been those bestial instincts that had stepped forward when his heart couldn't handle its rude awakening. The instinct to claim and possess what was his, by force if necessary, was the only emotion he could remember up until the moment he had her beneath him. He shuddered as he imagined how different this morning after could have been had she not loved him to begin with. The terrifying truth was he would have taken her even if she hadn't wanted him to, the beast he had become would have made it rape, and right now he wouldn't have her head resting lovingly on his shoulder or her fingers playing lightly over his chest. He held her tighter to him and offered a prayer of thanks to whoever was responsible..

"So what happens now?" asked his angel after a moment.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Have you changed your mind about initiating me?" she said. Misao was comfortable next to him, but an old fear wormed its way back into her heart when he failed to answer. She looked up at him and saw he was watching her with a pained expression.

"No," he answered. Misao hadn't realised how relaxed he had been, but the difference was jarring when she heard his old, sheltered voice again. He was blocking her out. He slid out of her embrace to the edge of the bed and started to get dressed. She sat up, covering herself with the sheet.

"What?" Misao sounded small and hurt even to herself.

"That is something I cannot do," he said, buckling his trousers. Misao pulled her knees up and turned away from him.

"I see," she said, "Then it's true."

"What is?" Aoshi twisted to look at her.

"That when a man says he loves you during sex he doesn't necessarily mean it."

"You can't possibly believe that." Aoshi's voice was still carefully low, but it hinted at worry and his eyes were hurt. Misao didn't answer him. "Misao…" he reached for her, but she shrugged him off and looked away from him, not wanting him to see her cry.

"What should I believe, Aoshi? I'm not good enough to join the Oniwabanshuu, just good enough to sleep with?! Like your prostitute?!" Her words shot like darts past every barrier he had straight to his heart and buried their wounding barbs deep. "You tell me you don't want me, but you won't let have anyone else have me either. So you change your mind and kidnap me, tell me you love me, but that you don't want to be with me. You take away my hopes and dreams, then dangle them in front of me like a carrot on a string, only to snatch them away again. If you do love me, how are we supposed to be together? Unlike you, I won't stay this way forever. I'm going to get old, pretty soon I'll be more like your mother than your girlfriend. I won't go through that, Aoshi! I won't!"

"What are you saying?" It was now Aoshi's turn to be afraid.

"If you won't turn me… Well, let's just say you're not the only vampire in town." Misao's mind was made up. She would be with Aoshi.

"You don't know what you're saying. You can't just ask to be turned. Even if they don't just kill you, they'll want to keep you," he said, truly afraid. Misao shrugged as if she didn't care.

"Not forever. I'm willing to wait for as long as it takes to be with you, Aoshi-sama. One way or another."

Misao pulled the sheet around her and got off the bed, leaving Aoshi sitting speechless in her wake. She had just reached the door and pulled it open an inch or two before he appeared next to her, his hand snapping the door closed above her head.

"There's been a review of policy," he said, his face shuttered.

"What?" asked Misao, trying not to be distracted by his naked torso.

"The age of maturity is no longer eighteen. In co-operation with human laws, it has been changed to twenty-one."

"You can't do that," said Misao in shock.

"Why not? I am the Okashira, aren't I?" Aoshi looked down at her, willing her with his eyes to accept his terms.

"So you're going to change me when I turn twenty-one, you promise?" Misao was sceptical but she knew that if Aoshi gave her his word, then it would happen. Aoshi hesitated but eventually he gave in and said,

"Yes, I promise."

Misao squealed and threw her arms around his neck, startling him.

"You're going to have to announce it to the others to make it official," she said.

"I'll do it tonight if you want. But I'm warning you, I fully intend to make as much of your last remaining human years as I can," he added suggestively. Misao slowly slid back down onto her feet.

"That's fine by me, Aoshi-sama," she replied, lowering her voice seductively. Aoshi began bending down to kiss her but her stomach chose that moment to growl loudly.

"Maybe we should get you something to eat," he said.

"I'll eat when you're asleep. I fully intend to make as much of your last remaining waking hours as I can," she said, yanking him down forcefully and kissing him.