Author's Note: Another time jump! Let me know if you think they're too excessive. My idea for the storyline takes place over a longer stretch of time, so that's why it jumps sometimes. Let me know if you think I should add some filler or if there's anything I can do to make the transitions smoother.
Chapter Eleven
"Lord Kaname."
"Yes, Seiren?" Kaname said tiredly, looking up at her from the mess of papers he was sorting through on his desk.
"My lord, the Senate seems to be moving forward with their plans," Seiren reported in her straightforward manner.
Kaname sighed and closed his eyes. He might not be able to protect Yuki for very much longer, which made him incredibly sad. He wanted her to live a carefree life and had believed she would, until the Senate complicated matters.
"Very well. Let's make sure that we're completely ready for when the time comes," Kaname finally replied, opening his eyes to look at his unofficial bodyguard.
"Yes, my lord," said Seiren. "Will that be all?"
"Yes, thank you, Seiren." She nodded once and vanished.
Kaname stared at the place where Seiren had vanished into the darkness, filled with remorse that he might have to break his promise in order to protect the very person he held the most dear.
I'll be breaking a promise to keep another promise, he thought bitterly. If everything had gone the way he had hoped, he could have kept both promises just as he had been doing.
As I watch the snow beginning to melt, I suddenly realize that spring has already come. Even though Yori still sleeps peacefully downstairs in our dorm, something woke me up earlier than normal. I'm not really sure what, but I just couldn't sleep so I decided to pull on my uniform and overcoat and watch the sun rise from my favorite balcony. Now, as I lean against the partial wall, I reflect on the past couple of months.
Honestly, I didn't know where the time had gone. Not a whole lot had really changed since January, except for the fact that Ruka and Akatsuki announced that they're a couple a few weeks ago. I had been wondering about it for a while, but my suspicions were confirmed when Hanabusa walked in on them making out in the room he shared with Akatsuki and proceeded to tell anybody who would listen to him. The whole school is still gossiping about it, both girls and boys alike from the Day Class lamenting the fact that the two gorgeous students are off the market.
Hanabusa seems to enjoy the added attention that the girls who normally favored Akatsuki now bestow on him. Of course, they haven't given up, but they find it pointless to pine over Akatsuki when Hanabusa so charmingly responded to their advances.
Kaname still accompanies me on my patrols, but he always carefully steers the subject away from the past whenever I try to bring it up. I'm getting really frustrated. It's almost April and I still haven't made any progress. I decide that I need to strategize a way to make him talk.
Maria and Zero seem to spend a lot of time together. I often find them talking or walking together across campus after the sun sets. I want to chastise Zero and tell him that it takes away his focus from patrolling, but I really like seeing him so happy and, also, I have no room to talk since I enjoy my walks with Kaname.
Today, everyone leaves for spring break and I'll be left here alone with Zero again. Most of my classmates really look forward to spring break, but I always miss having everyone around. I look over at the Moon Dormitories. I'll especially miss Kaname.
He still hasn't made any more romantic advances towards me since the roses, so I start to wonder again if it's all in my head. It's got to be, I tell myself. I'm just not suitable for him at all.
I sigh. I should probably stop thinking about Kaname. I should try to find a nice Day Class boy to think about. But, as I run through the faces of all the boys in my mind, I find myself comparing the other boys with Kaname. I sigh again. No one compares with Kaname.
"I don't want to ride with you two!" Hanabusa complained. "You both are too wrapped up in each other to pay any attention to me." He crossed his arms and glared at his cousins as they all stood waiting for the driver to pick them up from the Moon Dorms. Akatsuki and Ruka had the grace to look slightly embarrassed, but otherwise seemed entirely unrepentant.
"Yeah, well, our families are vacationing together this week so get over it," Ruka retorted. "Besides, once we're out of the car, you can completely avoid us."
"Hmph," Hanabusa pouted. "My three sisters are so dull. This trip stinks. I liked it better when you weren't a couple."
Akatsuki stared at his roommate, "You don't mean that. How selfish can you be, Hanabusa?"
Hanabusa looked right back at Akatsuki and saw the hurt in his best friend's eyes. He knew that Akatsuki had loved Ruka his whole life, so he tried to backtrack a little. But not too much, of course. "Nah, I guess not," he replied. "But can you dial it down some?"
"When have we ever been over the top?" Ruka demanded. "We have never even held hands in public."
"But now I really want us to," Akatsuki commented, reaching for Ruka's hand and intertwining his fingers between hers. Her cheeks turned pink, but she didn't withdraw her hand. He began rubbing his thumb across the top of her hand.
"It's not displays of affection as much as it is that you get so caught up in each other that you don't pay attention to anyone else," Hanabusa stated, pointedly trying to avoid looking at the couple's joined hands.
"Aw, I think someone's jealous," Akatsuki stage-whispered to Ruka, who giggled. His thumb began tracing shapes on her skin, which tingled pleasantly.
Hanabusa reddened with anger and embarrassment. "I am not! I'm just sick of the lovey-doveyness!" he shouted.
Akatsuki just shrugged. "Whatever you say," he said, looking over Hanabusa's shoulder and seeing the driver. He squeezed Ruka's hand and then went to help the driver with their bags.
Ruka and Hanabusa followed Akatsuki and the driver to the town car. "Maybe you can start a new research project?" Ruka suggested, conversationally. Hanabusa had always been an extremely precocious child and absorbed as much information as he could, to the delight of his parents. As he grew up, he tackled increasingly complex research projects. The blood tablets had been his brainchild and he had taken the lead on the development.
Hanabusa shot her a look. "What? So you can just get rid of me?"
Ruka glared at him. "I was just trying to help! You seem a little aimless to me."
"It's none of your concern," Hanabusa muttered. "I don't need you or your help."
"Fine! Have it your way," she said vexedly and stormed to the opposite side of the car and took the passenger seat, forcing Akatsuki and Hanabusa to sit in the back. The boys were perplexed at her behavior, normally she would never consider sitting in the front. Hanabusa must have really irritated her.
Once they were all buckled in, the driver pulled out of the driveway and headed towards the main road. An awkward silence permeated the car for several minutes. Finally, Hanabusa couldn't bear it any longer.
"Maybe I should have tagged along with Senri and Rima on their photoshoot like Takuma," Hanabusa muttered petulantly, crossing his arms again and looking out of the window.
"Maybe you should have!" Ruka said angrily, not bothering to look back at him.
"You know, Hanabusa," Akatsuki said after a moment. "You did start this whole thing."
"No I didn't! You both did by getting together," Hanabusa retorted.
Akatsuki noticed Ruka's eyes on him in the rearview mirror. They both were thinking the same thing: What's gotten into Hanabusa?
If he were honest with himself, Hanabusa didn't know the answer. For several months, he'd had a growing feeling that he was missing something huge, but he didn't know what. Sometimes, he thought he felt lonely. Other times, he felt that the issue was something more practical, like not knowing the answer to something. Maybe it was a little of both.
Perhaps he would take the time over this break to discover the answer.
At Seiren's news, Kaname decided not to leave the Academy, as he had planned, to visit the Kuran mansion. It had been some time since he had ventured to the place and he felt that it would be important to check on it. But, now that he knew the Senate had decided officially to move forward with their plans, he knew that his place was near Yuki. He had no idea how fast the plans would progress, but he didn't want to be too far away if they progressed extremely quickly.
But he wasn't sure how to visit Yuki. She didn't know he was staying and he didn't want to mislead her. He loved her deeply, but he wanted her to have a chance at true happiness rather than the dark future that awaited him. Thus, he had not made any advances towards her since the roses he sent her.
But this had proven to be more difficult than he anticipated. Every time he saw her, he could not keep his eyes off of her. He loved everything about her: her long, brown hair; her deep auburn eyes; her long, lean legs; her sweet smile.
I need some fresh air, he thought and left the dorm. He blinked in surprise, as his eyes tried to adjust to the light. Even as a pureblood, he didn't enjoy being outside during the daytime because the light of the sun was just too bright. Hastily, he made his way into the sheltered atmosphere of the woods and strolled its familiar paths.
He couldn't help but hope that Yuki might be awake at this hour and happen to spot him.
After I said goodbye to Yori and had a quick breakfast with my father, I decided to stroll the grounds to develop my strategy to confront Kaname. As I walk, I realize just how annoyed I am with him. Whenever I see him, my frustrations always disappear, but return in full force after we part. Why won't he just be honest with me? After all, revealing that we have a shared past and then directing me to my father who directs me back to Kaname after telling me some more complicated information is rather convoluted and maddening.
I think back to our previous conversations. I never had directly asked him about why we're connected, I realize. I always chicken out because I don't want to make him sad or be rude by asking about his family. This is so complicated. I'm so torn by a desire to know the truth and a desire to keep Kaname as my friend. My worst fear in all this is completely losing him.
Absorbed in my thoughts, my feet carry me deeper and deeper into the woods. Maybe I can start my conversation with a harmless question about his family and see if I can steer it towards the plot to kill them. Again, I'm afraid of prying too much, but something truly seems connected with my mother's murder and the plot to kill Kaname's family.
Suddenly, I become aware of a human-shaped form leaning against the base of a tree. Thinking that it's probably Zero, I make my way over there. As I get closer, I realize, to my shock and amazement, that Kaname is the one leaning against the tree. Even more surprising, he's asleep. My stomach turns over at the sight. I've never seen him asleep before. I try to stay completely silent as I move closer.
His back is against the tree trunk with his long legs spread out in front of him and his hands lying on the ground beside him. I position myself beside his legs and angle my body so that I can get a clear look at his features. I feel intrusive and kind of creepy, but I can't help myself. He looks so peaceful and relaxed, quite different from his normal mask of composure.
A smile crosses his lips and I wonder what he's dreaming about. I long to touch him, to run my fingers across his cheeks and to trace his smile with my fingertips. But I do not let myself act on the impulse. I content myself to watch him sleep and daydream about reaching out to touch his face.
After a few moments, his face changes and he looks angry. His lips snarl and his fangs extend. I jump back a little in surprise and hastily try to wake him up.
"Kaname! Kaname!" I shout desperately as he thrashes about, "Wake up!" I grab his shoulders and shake him. His eyes open wide and, suddenly, I feel the impact of my body against the forest floor and a heavy weight on my chest. Kaname has me pinned to the ground, looking at me with befuddled anger and fear. I feel like prey, trapped by a larger predator. I look into his eyes, struggling to find recognition in them.
"Kaname! It's me, Yuki!" I plead, startled by the wild hunger I see in his eyes. He's breathing deeply, his chest rising and falling against mine. His fangs are still extended and his gaze seems to be pointed lower than my face. Towards my neck, I realize. He wants to drink my blood.
I let my head fall back against the forest floor and expose my neck to him. I have no idea why I'm doing this, but it just seems right. I close my eyes. I feel Kaname's chest rise and fall against me, slowly decreasing in speed.
"Yuki," I hear his voice say, "Yuki, please don't do that." I feel something soft touch my face. I open my eyes and see that his palm is resting against my cheek. His fangs are no longer extended. I lift my head up and bring it closer to his. I reach my hand up and run my fingers through his hair until my hand rests against the back of his head. I pull his head closer until my lips are at his ear.
"I'll do anything for you, Kaname," I whisper. "I hope you know that." At my words, I think I feel something wet fall against my cheek. Is he crying? I pull my face back to look at him more closely and, sure enough, a tear had escaped from his eye.
"Oh, Kaname," I say sadly. "I wish you wouldn't carry so much on yourself. Something is obviously troubling you." After all, I did find him asleep in the middle of the woods and having a nightmare. Acting on an impulse, I bring my lips to the tear and kiss it away. "Why won't you let me in?"
"Yuki," he slowly rubs his thumb back and forth across my cheek. "I can't lose you. I'm terrified that something will happen to you if you know too much."
"Is that what you were dreaming about?" I ask in wonder. Was he dreaming about me? Did I bring that smile to his face?
He nods. "I dreamt that someone took you away from me. I was terrified and furious." He wraps an arm around me and pulls me into his chest, while he rises up into a seated position. He crosses his legs and places me on his lap, with my legs extended to the side and resting against the ground over one of his legs. In this position, he clutches me in a death grip against his chest. It's not the most comfortable, since I'm kind of twisted, but I don't worry about that as I snake my arms behind him and tighten my hold.
We just hold each other for a time. I have no idea how long I've been out here and I don't really care. I'm very happy to just sit in Kaname's embrace, enjoying the sensation of his fingers gently running through my hair. He occasionally whispers my name with such care that it sends shivers down my spine. There is no question now that he cares for me just as I care for him. Yes, I am extremely content in this moment.
What have I done? Kaname thought as he held Yuki. I almost drank from her, which would have turned her. He couldn't do that to her, unless his worst fears came true. But in that moment after waking up, where he dreamed that she had been taken, he had desperately wanted to drink from her and to turn her into a vampire to keep her safe.
He couldn't believe what she'd done after he'd thrown her to the ground out of reflex. She had not been afraid. Instead, she comforted him after he had basically attacked her. She's so selfless. She deserved someone so much better for her, but he couldn't let her go.
"Yuki," he murmured into her hair, filling the word with as much adoration as he felt. He rested his head against hers. No, instead of fleeing, she had comforted him and now her arms wrapped tightly around him, just as he had one of his around her. His other hand ran through her tangled hair—tangled because of what he'd done—and gently worked through the tangles and the residue from the forest floor. "Yuki," he whispered, savoring each syllable.
He loved her so much, but he had no idea what he was doing. He had no idea how to keep her safe, how to love her like he wanted, how to be with her, or how to make the right choice. He had never loved someone this intensely before and that terrified him beyond anything else.
"Yuki," he said, desperately.
Unbidden, I remember my plan from this morning. I tense, not wanting to interrupt this moment, so I try to relax again, but Kaname already noticed my change.
"What is it, Yuki?" he asks quietly, placing his hands on my shoulders in order to pull back far enough to see me.
I shake my head. "I remembered that I wanted to talk to you about something, but it can wait."
He studies me. "What did you want to talk about?"
Seeing that I can't get out of it now, I go with my original plan and say, "Well, I wanted to ask you about your family."
He raises an eyebrow. "Is that all?"
I blush and say, "Sure." For now, I add silently. "I just want to know more about you and where you came from."
He leans back against the tree and rests one of his hands on my thigh, while the other resumes playing with my hair. "My parents were actually siblings," he began. "This is actually very common in the pureblood world and especially my family because we have the purest of pure blood. My parents' father was the last pureblood king."
"Really? I thought that the royalty was dissolved a long time ago," I comment, which makes Kaname chuckle.
"You forget, Yuki, that purebloods can live forever," he says with a smile, "My parents lived together for a thousand years before I came along and their father even longer than that. After establishing the Senate and making sure it ran efficiently, he ended his life, finally tiring of endlessly living."
"He committed suicide?" I ask, shocked.
"Most purebloods eventually do this," Kaname says. "They get so tired of living forever that they seek an end. Or they go to sleep for generations."
"They go to sleep? Like hibernation?" I wonder, a little puzzled.
"You could say that," Kaname replies. We sit in silence for a while as I take it in that information. I feel Kaname's fingers running through my hair and, absently, I take his hand resting on my thigh in both of mine and begin playing with his fingers. Not looking at Kaname, I ask, "So what happened to them?"
"Who? My parents?" he asks and I nod. "I can't talk about that, Yuki. Please understand."
I look up and into his eyes, which are pleading. He looks so sad. All I want to do is take that sadness away from him. I lean sideways so that I'm resting against his chest and rest my right hand against his cheek. "I'll try, Kaname. But I want to know the truth about my past. I have to, don't you see? I want to know why my mother was killed. I want to know why I almost died and why you were there to save me."
He wraps his arms around me, crushing me once again to his body, my face buried in his chest. "You deserve to know the truth, Yuki, but I just can't tell you. Not yet."
At his words, I push him away and stand up, forgetting my desire to end his sadness in my annoyance. "Well, Kaname, I don't think I can keep seeing you if you continue keeping this from me." I bend and rest my palms against his cheeks. "I really care about you, Kaname, but I can't get any more involved with you until I know more." I lean back up and look down at him. "I deluded myself these past couple of months into thinking you only liked me as a friend. Now, I think that we both know we care for each other more than that, but I can't be with someone who isn't honest with me." Before I can go back on my words, I turn and run away into the woods.
I find myself wishing that Kaname will run after me, but he doesn't, which breaks my heart even more.
Kaname desperately wanted to stop Yuki, to keep her next to him, but he knew she was right. She did deserve the truth, but he had made a promise and he wasn't going to go back on it—no matter how much he wanted to sometimes—until he had no other choice. So, he watched her disappear into the trees, his heart sinking.
He would protect her as best as he could, whether it was by her side or at a distance.
The moment Maria stepped out of her family's carriage she noticed cherry blossoms. She smiled at the sight, struggling to recall when she'd last seen them in the part of the country where her family lives. Bending over to pick one up, she smelled the lovely scent of a blossom.
She held the blossom to her face and, for the first time since leaving Cross Academy, Maria felt happy to be home. She had been extremely reluctant to leave the liberating atmosphere of the Academy and, she would never admit to anyone due to embarrassment, she was sad to leave Zero. He had become a constant source of happiness to her, though most of the other vampires detested him. Whenever she saw him around the academy, he maintained such a detached and boredly irritated demeanor. However, as they spent more and more time together, he let that mask of his slip little by little and she started to see what she believed to be the true Zero. She felt so grateful to see a side of Zero that he hid from most other people, especially the rest of the vampires.
Giving the blossoms one last glance and tucking the one she held into her hair, Maria walked into the Kurenai villa and called, "Hello? I'm home." After waiting in the entryway for a few moments, she felt irrationally annoyed that neither of her parents had come to greet her immediately. Didn't they miss her? But, as she moved farther inside, she heard footsteps approach and then saw her mother emerge.
"Maria, welcome home," she said breathlessly before pulling her daughter in for a hug, bending slightly to whisper in her ear, "We have a visitor. A very important visitor. Please be on your best behavior."
Maria peered over her mother's shoulder and saw a tall woman with long, white hair standing in the doorway her mother had emerged from. Maria could sense the power emanating from the woman. A pureblood, she knew.
"Hello, Maria," the woman said. Maria and her mother broke apart to look at the pureblood vampire. "Do you know who I am?"
Maria studied the woman and knew she could only be one person. "You're Lady Shizuka Hio." Suddenly, the lingering scent of the cherry blossoms turned bitter.
"That is correct," Shizuka said. "Come, sit with me in the living room." She gestured for Maria to walk in front of her. "We have a lot to discuss."
Author's Note: From now on, I'll post chapters less frequently than before. I just started grad school, so that takes up a lot of my time and brainpower. This chapter was so difficult for me to write, perhaps because of the content and also because of brain-friedness. As always, let me know what you think in a review!