WHOOAAAA, where have I been? Uh, starting college, thats where! So sorry ya'll, I've kept you waiting long enough. SOOO, I present to you a 3,978 word chapter! :o
Lt-Spork89: ;)
Figments of Delusion: Omg! Me too, she's such a lightweight ;)
Guest: Thaaaat rule doesn't exist in my universe... perhaps not just yet. :p
Of Lies and Mischief: Hey! You're great ;)
Carrield1991: Here ya go, darling!
27: Haha! I'm glad she's so relatable. And thank you! Hope you stick around for the rest :)
As always, thank you all for the feedback; especially when I'm sort of a flake when it comes to updates! Sometimes those notification emails from this site reminds me to upload :')
Sunday, October 18th, 7:41 a.m.
Audrey
I woke up with little to no memory of the previous nights' events. All I knew is my head hurt and my eyes were swollen and I felt achy all over. I stumbled out of bed, noting the time and that everyone else was still sleeping. I envied them. I sat on my bed and took a deep breath, hoping I wouldn't set myself up for a panic attack by sitting up to quickly.
I felt something crinkly in my hair and I felt what apparently was a clod of leaves and dirt in my hair. What the bloody hell?
I also noticed a small note on my nightstand. I lifted a slightly shaky hand and opened it.
Audrey—
Not sure if you can remember what happened last night. Come see me when you wake up.
Remus.
I quickly read Remus' message and opened a drawer and shoved it in. Ressie would definitely read it if left out in the open, and that would be the death of me.
I rubbed my face roughly, and got up and strode to the bathroom. It was hard to see and I felt wobbly. I made it to the loo in one piece and opened a cabinet next to the mirror. I hastily looked for some of Ressie's "headache" tonic; she uses it when she gets knackered. I figured it could help ease my aching cranium. The effects took after a minute and I felt a calming sensation well over me, easing my headache until it faded away.
I closed the door and turned on the shower. I just wanted to wash my hair because I smelt like dirty socks. I hopped in a cold shower and was a little shocked as the chilly water pounded against my body. I quickly washed my hair with a little shampoo and rinsed. I hopped out and dried myself off fairly quickly. I left my hair in a turban as I opened my door quietly. I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a new pair of underwear and some sweatpants. They hugged my legs a little too tightly, but it didn't bother me too much. I changed and used the drying charm to dry my overly-long hair.
I noticed I pulled out a lacy black thong. I shuddered. My Aunt Suzette must've shoved it in when I wasn't looking; She'd often say that by the ripe age of seventeen, I should be getting laid like clockwork, and by giving me sleazy undergarments, it'd give me more incentive to go around and sleep with my peers with wild abandon. She's a piece of work, thats for sure.
I think she's also pitching for the same team, if you catch my drift.
I pulled on my baseball-tee, grabbed a book, and walked out of my dorm, and headed down to the common room. The room had a warm glow about it; the fireplace had no flames but still gave off heat. I felt it as I entered and as I left for the boys' dorm. I was slightly nervous; I didn't want to walk in on anyone naked. (I accidentally walked in on Peter once. It was awful.) I walked up to the Marauder's door and knocked silently. I heard some footsteps and the door came swinging open to the figure of Remus standing before me.
He was wearing a loose t-shirt and khaki shorts. He smiled once he saw me.
"Morning sunshine. How're you feeling?" He asked, leaning on the door's frame. I groaned.
"Like I was hit by a train and stomped on by a troll," Remus chuckled. "What happened last night? All I remember is sneaking out and I woke up this morning with leaves in my hair…" I mumbled. Remus chuckled and I gave him a quizzical look.
"Come on; I'll tell you. Let's get to the lake," He said, I nodded. He was about to walk out when he turned around and disappeared back in his dorm. I waited and he brought out a black zip-up jacket and handed it to me.
"It's cold out," He said. I shook my head and smiled.
"I'm alright," I said.
"Audrey, just take it," He said smiling. Partly at my stubbornness, I assumed. I shook my head.
"No, Remus! I'll be okay," I laughed. He sighed.
"I didn't want to do this…" He said. I gave him a quizzical look.
Suddenly, his hands flew to my sides and he started tickling me. I started laughing and snorting uncontrollably as he proceeded without mercy. He poked and prodded and ran his fingers up and down my sides, making my stomach ache with each pained laugh.
"Remus! Pleeeeasse!" I said, with tears forming at the edges of my eyes. He didn't stop. "Okay, okay!" I surrender!" I said. He stopped and puffed up his chest proudly as my breathing slowed. I smiled and hit him on the chest. He handed me the jacket and I put it on. It was too big for me; the sleeves were way too long on my arms and the jacket itself was so long, it went down to mid-thigh. Granted, I'm probably only about 5'2… but that's beside the point.
"You're a prat," I said, as I started to walk out. He chortled.
"For offering you a jacket! I highly doubt that qualifies as prat-like behavior. If anything, I'm your humble servant," He said, shoving his hands in his pockets. I stuck my tongue out at him.
"T'was a low blow, Remus, to subdue me by tickling me!" I said. He shrugged.
"I play to my strengths. One of them happens to be knowing your weaknesses," he said smugly. I laughed as we walked on out of the common room, and out of the castle to the cold early-morning air of Hogwarts.
We walked on as students were lingering to breakfast. On a Sunday, it was a miracle to see anybody up, so I was surprised. Remus and I continued on as daily life at Hogwarts started taking place.
We eventually reached the lake and sat under a tree on a low cliff. Remus and I always come here because it's a beautiful angle to see the grounds of Hogwarts and it's usually left alone. Plus, the rest of the gang has no clue, so to prevent further nagging, this place is perfectly suited for us to come and chat and whatnot.
We sat down at our usual places under it's shady branches and I sighed, opening the book I brought. Remus sat right up against the tree and I sat about a foot in front of him. I could hear him relax up against the tree.
"Whatchoo reading?" He asked.
"Muggle poetry…" I answered absentmindedly.
"Who?" He asked. I shrugged.
"Just a compilation of me and my dad's favorites. Dickinson, Plath, mostly Edgar Allan Poe, you know…" I trailed off, looking back at him briefly.
"Read me one," He said. I sighed.
"Thy soul shall find itself alone
'Mid dark thoughts of the gray tombstone—
Not one, of all the crowd, to pry
Into thine hour of secrecy…"
"Keep going…" Remus said, scooting closer to me. I could feel him next to me and I shuddered.
"Be silent in that solitude,
Which is not loneliness—for then
The spirits of the dead who stood
In life before thee are again
In death around thee—and their will
Shall overshadow thee: be still."
I stopped there. I looked at Remus and he had his arms on his legs and he was looking at me. He gave me a small smile.
"How about something a little less morbid?" He asked. I chortled.
"It'll be hard to find. I'm a little depressing," I said. Remus took the book out of my hands and searched through. He flipped page after page until he came to one and smiled, slightly deviously. He handed it back to me and waited. I felt my face go hot as I looked at the one he chose.
"Go on," He said, evilly. I sighed.
"There's a flutter of grey through the trees:
Ah, the exquisite curves of her dress as she passes
Fleet with her feet on the path where the grass is!
I see not her face, I but see
The swift re-appearance, the flitting persistence—
There!—of that flutter of grey in the distance.
It has flickered and fluttered away:
What a teasing regret she has left in my day-dream,
And what dreams of delight are the dreams that one may
dream!
It was only a flutter of grey;
But the vaguest of raiment's impossible chances
Has set my heart beating the way of old dances."
I finished and looked at Remus. He was staring at the lake, seemingly deep in thought. His hair was blowing slightly at the cool Autumn wind and his eyes were looking intently ahead of him. His pale blue eyes seemed so radiant. He suddenly turned to me. I felt my face go hot and I looked down. I heard him chuckle.
"So.. what happened last night?" I asked him, closing my book and putting it off to the side.
"Well, after about four red currant rums, you became pretty sloshed," I felt my face grow hotter. "You and all the guys became pretty knackered around 11 so I decided it was time to leave. You asked if you were melting, wanted me to buy you a pizza, and then you decided, in your infinite, inebriated wisdom, to jump into a pile of leaves. James and Sirius followed you and I had to rescue you from their heavy physiques."
Oh, Merlin. Whyyyyyy.
"Oh bugger…" I said, putting my face in my hands. Memories started to come back piece by piece. I remember the red currant rums, the leaves, my strange craving for pizza, and…
Oh, Merlin…
"W-was that all?" I asked hesitantly. Remus' face turned a light shade of pink and he looked away.
"Well.. you wanted me to sleep with you last night," I felt my eyes go wide. He looked at me and quickly shrunk back. "N-not like that! You.. you just asked me to stay with you when I took you up to your room. I stayed until you fell asleep…" he said. I gave him a pained expression.
"I'm sorry," I said, hiding my face in my hands. "I'm such a moron. I'm usually not like that…"
"Oh, don't be sorry," Remus said, relaxing and lifting my head out of my hands and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "It's alright.. It's what friends do, is it not?" I sighed.
"I guess I am somewhat of a lightweight, yeah?" I asked miserably. Remus chuckled in agreement.
"Why didn't you drink?" I asked, looking at him.
"Because I cannot leave a group such as ours to their own devices. My conscious would never allow it," He said. I smiled and he smiled back at me. I felt my heart skip a beat and I relished in the familiar feeling of serendipity.
My feelings for Remus haven't dwindled. If anything, they've grown stronger. I cannot explain still how I feel about him. It's a mix of infatuation and longing and passion… Since the kiss I feel as if I'm missing out on what could be something great but I know I cannot have it. I still feel fire at his touch. I still crave to have him hold me again, like he did before. It's a little embarrassing. But, even more than that, it's intriguing. I know I shouldn't be feeling like this.
He's my friend, probably my best friend. And it's selfish of me to ask anything more of him when he's said he wanted nothing more. I need him in any way he'll allow me to have him.
"You know, I really appreciate you and the guys accepting me into your group. It's a little odd and was completely out of my realm of possibility, but it happened.. and I'm glad it did," I told him.
I'm glad I can be closer to you.
"Oh, don't mention it. You're a wonder to have. It's nice to connect with someone that I can relate to with school and the like as well," He said. I smiled.
"I've also been meaning to ask; that picture on your nightstand. Is that you and your dad?" He asked. I nodded.
"Yeah, that was when I was five or six. We just moved into our new place and I remember that for some reason, I wanted to hop onto the roof and prove to my parents that I could fly, that somehow I was magic and that nothing could get in my way. Dad lifted me up on the roof, because he's freakishly tall, and I actually jumped. He caught me, of course, but it was a strange day…" I smiled at the memory.
"Your dad is a muggle, yeah?" He asked, verifying.
"Yeah. He's a professor in London."
"Audrey, I hope you don't mind me asking…" He said cautiously. I looked at him quizzically, willing him to continue. "You talk about your dad quite a bit. Why don't you ever talk about your mum?" He asked slowly. I felt my heart sink.
I never talk about my mother. Ever.
I didn't know how to respond at first. I felt myself stiffen and my smile fade.
"If you don't want to answer, you don't have to…" He said, rubbing my shoulder. I sighed.
"Well.. err, to make a long story short, she walked out on me after I got my letter from Hogwarts. My parents are both muggles. They had no idea about me until I got it. I mean, a lot of weird stuff happened around me but for the most part they never thought much about it. Things would fall out of nowhere when I was angry or glasses would break. Figured it was just my inherent clumsiness. When she found out, she uhh… she freaked. Told me I was a freak and an abomination and left my father and I shortly thereafter. He was heartbroken but he never abandoned me like she had. Last I heard of her she had a whole new normal family," I said, not looking at him in the eye.
I kept my eyes fixated at the twig I was currently playing with, trying to ignore the tears stinging behind my eyes, trying to act like it was okay. Remus squeezed my shoulder and I looked at him.
He had a look of sadness and empathy for me. He leaned in and pulled me into a warm hug. I hugged back greedily and let a few annoying tears escape and they fell onto his shirt and seeped into the fabric. He started to rub my back slowly and I sighed.
I never let anyone know about my mother. I either lied or avoided the issue altogether.
"No one knows," I said, pulling away to wipe my face. Remus just kept a hand at my back. He nodded.
"Sorry for the waterworks," He shook his head.
"Don't be. Everyone's got a story to tell, whether it be good or bad," He reassured me.
"What's yours?" I asked curiously. He smiled slightly and looked away.
"Oi, I found 'em!" I heard someone say from behind. I turned around and saw Sirius and Ressie jogging up to us. I groaned and I saw Remus make a sort-of scowl. They came up and sat down.
"I've been looking everywhere for you!" She said, huffing and puffing.
"You two shagging? Because we could always come back later when you've finished. My guess is that Remus finishes too quickly for anything substantial," Sirius said smugly. I scoffed and threw a handful of dirt at him.
"Sirius, you're such a prat," I said. Ressie sighed.
"Anyways, did you hear? McGonagall's okay-ed my petition for a Halloween party! It's going to be great!" She said excitedly. I smiled at her joy.
"Of course, she's put harsh regulations on it. No drinking, and only 7th years are allowed, but we are allowed to have it up until one a.m.! She's also put all the decorations and planning on me…" She gave me a look. A look I knew all too well.
"No," I said with finality.
"Audrey! Come on, please!" She begged.
"Why can't you get one of your other friends to help you? Like Camila Denshaw or Kathleen Ackerly… Someone who actually gives a damn?" I said.
"Because! They're just bimbos and they'd have nothing actual intellect to offer! You can help me plan and organize! I'll have Sirius and the guys do all the work! Please Audrey," She gave me the puppy dog lips and Sirius chuckled. Remus rolled his eyes and chortled. I sighed.
"Fine," I said. She yelped and jumped on me, hugging me and kissing my forehead.
"Ooh, are you two getting it on? Because if so, Sirius likey," Sirius said. Ressie giggled and sat on me.
"And I digress; Sirius Black, you are a prat," I said, shoving her off of me. She giggled some more and crawled onto Sirius.
"Oi, I don't think it's nice to call your best friend's boyfriend a prat," He replied. I crinkled my nose.
"Since when are you two dating?" I asked. They both looked at each other and shrugged.
"Well, we snogged and then some… next thing you know he's the only one I'd like for to stick around!" She said, wrapping her arm around his neck. Sirius kissed her ear. I sighed.
"Whatever, as long as you don't make me go to this dance, I'll help you all you want," I said.
"WHAT? OH NO, YOU MUST GO!" She yelled. I cringed at her loud voice and Remus rubbed my arm. He was being oddly silent.
"Yeah, Audrey. It's a dance that you're to plan! It'd be a shame not to relish in your own handiwork," Remus said. I shrugged.
"I've never been fond of dances. And no one will want to go with me. I'll help you plan it, Ress, just please don't make me go," I pulled my legs up to my chest and hugged them.
"Oh, I don't think you'll have much trouble finding a date, my dear Knickers," Sirius said, knowingly. I felt my face go hot and I didn't look at the boy sitting behind me. Ressie giggled and Sirius chuckled deeply.
"Yeah… You know, like Jeremy Wadcock,." Ressie said. Sirius barked out laughing.
"Jack-off Wadcock?! NO way!" he said laughing. I started to get annoyed.
"Jeremy Wadcock? 7th year chaser from Ravenclaw?" Remus asked, with a slight hint of disbelief. I could feel him stiffen up behind me.
"Oh yeah," She said laughing. "He's always staring at you from afar. Plus he's my potions partner and he's asked about you before."
"Oh, shut up Ressie. Very funny," I said as Sirius' laugher started to die down.
"I'm serious! I could tell him to ask you if you'd like! He's quite a catch, Audrey," She said excitedly. I shook my head.
"No, Ressie. I have no interest in going to the dance, let alone a dance with someone with the last name of… Wadcock," I said, the last name rolling off my tongue uncomfortably. I felt Remus settle down behind me and I smiled slightly. She shrugged.
"Your loss!"
"How're James and Peter holding up?" Remus asked. I smiled at him gratefully for changing the subject.
"Arsed out on the floor. I, luckily, stole some Pepper-Up from Pomfrey a while back so I'm ship shape!" He said cheerily. I rolled my eyes.
"I must ask; why did it take you so long to come up to the dorm, 'ey Moony?" Sirius added, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at us. I blushed.
"Decided I needed some time away from you drunken loons," He snarked back, Sirius chortled. Ressie poked me.
"Where did you go last night, anyways? Did you actually sneak out?" She asked. I nodded.
"Girl can't hold her liqueur, thats for sure!" Sirius said. I rolled my eyes.
"Oh, that's rich, coming from you, you drunken pilgarlic," I retorted. Sirius its gave me a weird expression and Remus laughed from behind.
"Oh wow. Goodie little two shoes Audrey drank!? I must've missed quite a spectacle," Ressie said. "I hope you took care of her, Remus. I can't imagine what she's like under the influence." Remus squeezed my arm.
"Of course, Ressie," He stated absentmindedly.
Ressie leaned back into Sirius' lap and stretched. "What do you say, babes. Would you like to go back to the common room to allow these two secret lovers to continue their not-so-secret love affair?" She said, winking. Sirius smiled widely and excitedly.
"Yes ma'm!" He said, picked her up from his lap and carrying her off. I could hear her laugh as they ventured off. I shook my head.
"Never thought you and someone like Ressie Fox would be friends," Remus said behind me and I turned to him. He laughed lightly.
"Neither did I. It is a little odd, isn't it?" I sighed and scooted back to the tree leaning up against it, with many thoughts flowing in and out of my attention.
"Something plaguing you, my dear?" Remus asked. I sighed.
"Perhaps…"
"Feel free to let it out," He said reassuringly.
"Well… its a few things," He looked at me as if he were waiting for me to continue. "Well, of course N.E.W.T.S. are coming up. Granted, they're a good eight months off, but time flies and before I know it I could fail miserably! Plus, I have this stupid dance to plan for now. Not to mention after Hogwarts, where I'd go and whether or not I'd accept Dumbledore's offer to—" I stopped myself suddenly. Remus looked at me and raised an eyebrow.
"What offer?" He asked slowly.
Aw, shite.
"Err… N-nothing. It's nothing," I said, quite poorly. Remus rolled his eyes.
"Audrey…" he said warningly.
"It's just— an opportunity to study abroad after school ends. I'd go and study animals and creatures of all kinds. You know, for career planning and such…" I said meekly. It was a crappy lie but I had to think of something. Remus seemed slightly pleased by my answer. Possibly even relieved.
"Oh, where?" he asked with genuine curiosity.
"Iceland," I said suddenly. He eyed me suspiciously.
"Well, why would you not take it? Seems like an amazing opportunity in itself," He said.
"I don't know… It's scary. I'd be gone for two months… Plus I'm not exactly sure what I'd like to do after school. I mean yeah, I'd love to work one-on-one with creatures of all kinds but…" I stopped there, knowing that my real reason for uncertainty was the possibility of putting myself in harms way for the resistance. That much, I'd keep to myself.
"Sounds like a great opportunity to me. You'd get to do what you love and really figure out if it's what you'd like to pursue," He said. I smiled.
"You're right… What're you going to do after the end of the year?" I asked, hoping for an end to this conversation about me. He coughed.
"Err.. I'll probably move into my own flat and find work somewhere and save up until I have enough to afford schooling to be a teacher. I'm not sure yet," He answered tentatively. I sighed, not feeling up to pursing the matter further.
"I'm hungry. Can we go back?" I asked. Remus nodded and got up. He grabbed my hand and helped me up. He also picked up my book.
"Mind if I borrow this for a bit?" He asked. I shrugged.
"Go ahead," We walked back up to the great castle together, our bellies aching for nourishment.
Sort of a filler, but bonding! and lots of it!
xo