AN: This chapter's a little longer :) Reviews are better than honeycomb!
Chapter Eleven
Of James Potter Vs Feminism and Doctor Who
They reached the staircase with no difficulty but had all forgotten about half the first floor being roped off. With a rather exaggerated sigh the Hufflepuffs collectively turned and went back down the second floor corridor to find another set of stairs that was more directly above classroom 1B.
"Ah there you are!" Called Professor Jordan as they neared the top of the staircase. "I'm afraid it may be a few moments before the staircases can be moved back." The Hufflepuffs all turned to see the other end of the school where all 142 staircases had been stacked on top of one another. Not just the moving staircases but the ones that led through the Common-Room in Gryffindor tower and to the Quidditch pitch. The only ones not there were those that would have caused serious damage to rip away- the ones in the stands for example. Students from higher balconies were all leaning over and shouting in protest. A group of second-year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws were shouting the loudest. Molly put her head in her hands in exasperation.
"James bloody Potter and Sam bloody Andrews." She whispered.
"How do you know it was them?" Lien asked. Molly looked at her.
"When isn't it them?" She did have a point there. Lien had been at the castle for little over three days and already she'd been witness to three aftermaths of pranks concocted by the marauding twins, not including this one. The first had been relatively simple, the flooding of the corridors using acidic potions that really weren't supposed to be mixed together, the second, less annoying, fifteen dungbombs exploding outside the great hall to spell the words 'Slytherin sucks', and the third, more complex, magical fireworks had chased Professor Binns around his classroom chanting facts from their previous History of Magic lessons, the teacher, forgetting in his terror, that he was a ghost and the fireworks couldn't actually hurt him, providing the pupils with the most energetic display by the old man the school had ever seen.
James and Sam, hidden safely inside the nearest cupboard, clutched their sides with mirth. Sam held up her hand for a high five and James hit it whole-heartedly, socking her in the shoulder as well for good measure. She socked him back and soon they were locked in a scuffle that was completely irrelevant.
The door flew open and there stood Lydjah and Jayna, identical bemused expressions on their faces. The two Gryffindors fell out of the cupboard.
"If I didn't know you I'd say you were snogging in there." Lydjah said, chuckling. Then her eyes widened and she sucked in a shocked breath, staring unseeingly in front of her.
"What-" Began Sam.
"So- how did you do it?" Jayna cut in quickly.
"Do what?" They asked at the same time, smiling innocently. Both Ravenclaws looked at them disbelievingly, Lydjah apparently returning from whatever state she'd been in. Jayna shot her a quick 'tell me later' look and Lydjah nodded almost imperceptibly. James' smile turned smug. "Well," he began, ignoring Sam's rolling eyes, "if someone were to do it, all they'd have to do is cast a summoning charm from the other end of the castle and then bind it in place with an 'Incarcerous' spell and then hide the latter spell with a disillusionment charm."
"Oh what a shame those three spells are too hard to master for our year." Jayna said sarcastically.
"I'd like to see you try it." James sniggered. He was confident in the fact that those spells were not supposed to be learnt for another year- he and Sam, of course, being above averagely clever but refusing to show it, had learnt most of the spells for the syllabus that year, if only the ones useful for tricks and pranks. Jayna pointed her wand at him, and without saying a single word, or so James thought, pulled James to her using the Seize and Pull Charm, tied him up in several thick forest vines and cast a disillusionment charm so that he was no longer visible.
Sam stared at her in amazement. "What the actual fuck Blackwood?" she asked with a begrudging admiration. Jayna shrugged. "You can do non-verbal magic?"
"Only for this years and last years' syllabus." Jayna lied excellently. "I've had this wand for ages; my parents bribed Ollivander," (the second) "to make me one. I've been learning magic since I was about four; my accidental magic I learnt to control so non-verbal magic is what I first learnt to do." This bit was technically true, but she was nowhere near being able to do Hogwarts-worthy spells non-verbally.
"Bloody hell." Jayna frowned, apparently still not getting the phrase. "No wonder you're in Ravenclaw." She shrugged again.
"Maybe- but I rely heavily on Lydjah to get us into the Common-Room- I can't solve a riddle to save my life." Unfortunate that, as her life would later depend on one. But, of course, that's later.
"Where the Hell is James though?" There was some muffled grunting about three metres to their left. The three of them laughed.
"Homenum Revelio! Diffindo!" And suddenly James had reappeared and the bonds tying him together had pooled around his feet. Jayna vanished them too with a lazy flick of her wand.
"Fucking girls." He sighed.
"Densaugeo!"
"Furnunculus!"
"Langlock!" James simultaneously grew extraordinarily long teeth that continued to grow past his jaw, sprouted boils all over his face and had his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth so he couldn't speak (the latter being fired by Jayna who was still feeling slightly guilty over tying him up). The three witches fell over laughing. After a few minutes giggling at his expense Jayna flicked her wand again and undid her hex.
"FUCKING MERLIN!" He tried to yell, sort of obstructed by his still growing teeth.
"I'm sorry; I'll take notes for you?" Sam asked. James narrowed his eyes but traipsed off to the Hospital Wing. Jayna stared worriedly after him.
"Don't worry he won't rat us out."
"Oh, yeah, right." She said distractedly, because, as you will have realised if you, reader, have a brain, which if you don't would be a marvellous accomplishment for you to be able to read this, that Jayna wasn't worried about that at all. Sam, having a brain herself, smiled secretively but made no comment. Just then, a great cry of triumph went up from the crowd behind them and they all sighed and turned back to their classmates.
"I didn't know you were a feminist Sam." Lydjah said casually.
"Meh sure, but I just wanted a chance to hex him." Lydjah burst out laughing. "What?"
"Well that's exactly why I did it." She said through peals of laughter. "Couldn't let Jay-Jay have all the fun." Sam shook her head at Lydjah's ridiculous nickname. Jayna seemed lost in thought, that is, until Ned spoke.
"Hey, Sam, where's James?" Ned asked curiously. It was a complete coincidence that Jayna's head snapped up at James' name. Sam shrugged.
"Dunno- he went off somewhere. You don't have a spare quill do you?"
"So?"
"So what?"
"So what did you see?"
"Jayna there are people around. I'll tell you later, alright?" Jayna rolled her eyes but consented.
"Good going with that Muffliato Charm- it must have been convincing." Lydjah sniggered.
"We pulled a prank on the master pranksters!" Jayna changed the topic as they continued up the staircase to their Defence against the Dark Arts lesson that they were once again sharing with the Gryffindors. Jayna was happy to note however, that they also had an extra two classes with them; Potions and Astronomy. Astronomy was the one she was rather worried about though because she tended to lose her formality after midnight and would blurt out whatever came into her head; something she would almost always regret in the morning. They'd never had the lesson before because Professor Sinistra had ended up taking the last year off due to a bout of Dragon pox. It had been cancelled so that the temporary teacher could concentrate on getting the NEWT group through their exams. This year's Astronomy wasn't going to take place until October because the teacher thought it was simply too cloudy until then. Jayna couldn't really see it herself; September was plenty clear enough for her to see the stars from her window most nights. She'd gotten into the habit of sleeping on her windowsill but, again, she regretted it in the morning.
"What do you want for your birthday?"
Lydjah looked at her. "Jayna it's the second of September."
"Yes; so I only have a month and one day to get you a present!"
"Oh you know the drill."
"Doctor Who, Holyhead Harpies, Chocolate, WILL HERONDALE related?"
"Exactly."
"You watch Doctor Who?" Lee asked curiously, over-hearing them.
"Everyone should watch Doctor Who." Jayna confirmed. Lee shook her head.
"I didn't think you were the type."
"You stand corrected." Jayna said laughingly but Lee's comment confused her. Why wasn't she the type…?
"Finally!" Yelled Professor Avisana. "You've missed half the lesson!" Most of the class was unusually upset about this as Professor Avisana had quickly become the favourite teacher of a lot of the school. She had been a first year student when Professor Lupin was the Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher and though, of course, no-one from the current student body could see it, their ways of teaching were very similar as he had inspired Alice Avisana to become a DADA teacher, and this was later reinforced by joining the DA and being taught by Harry Potter, though she was called Alice Tolipan then.
The students walked quickly into her classroom and to their seats, mostly from last year but with a few notable exceptions. Due to a conjunctivitis hex gone wrong one of the Gryffindors (Josie Kent), had very bad eyesight and had to sit at the front. Her friend Sally accompanied her and Jayna and Lydjah ended up swapping seats with them so, for the first time ever (Jayna's insistence not Lydjah's), they sat in desks at the back of the classroom, next to James' and Sam's.
"This year we are going to be studying a wide variety of creatures and defensive spells to deal with them as well as some extra defensive magic. To start with, what is the first defensive spell you should use in a duel? Yes Jayna?" She said smiling warmly at her most eager pupil. Jayna, taking note of what Lydjah said made an effort to smile back as she answered. She heard a gasp from the other side of the room from one of the Gryffindors and stifled a giggle in her hand as a cough.
"Expelliarmus?"
"Correct. Why?"
"Because it's the best way to keep yourself safe while you assess the situation- you have time to decide whether it's best to fight or flee."
"Correct- five points to Ravenclaw." Jayna glowed. The teacher flicked her wand and the register parchment flew into her hand. She muttered a few words under her breath and it began zooming around the classroom on its own presumably marking who was in. "Now, this lesson we are going to do the theory on this spell and next lesson we'll be practicing it. I'm hoping that by October, after we've covered a few other spells, we'll be able to start a small duelling club- I'll choose your partners and you'll duel." The class grinned excitedly at each other, the Ravenclaws in particular.
"So, if you could turn your copies of The Dark Forces; A Guide To Self-Protection to page 144 and make notes. Remember, as always, you are allowed to talk in my lessons and I will not be checking your notes but it's your grade that will fall if you don't have correct notes to study from." Everyone loved her way of teaching, the lazy could just do the notes when they got back to the Common-Room, the smart-alecs could take detailed notes and, as she wasn't busy, ask her extended questions into magical lore and theory.
"When are you going to tell me?"
"You weren't joking about your lack of patience huh? Not now."
"Tell her what?" Sam interrupted. Lydjah shot Jayna a glare.
"Nothing." She said unconvincingly at the same time as Jayna said, "How to get to the room of Hidden Things."
Lydjah blinked at her. Sam decided to take the latter as the truth. "How do you get there? It doesn't show up on- Well… I've never been in it."
"I'm not surprised- most people don't even know it exists."
"So how do you get in there Lydjah?" Lydjah, who had only the vaguest idea as to what the room even was, obviously had no clue.
"I'm not telling anyone. My dad told me and I'm keeping his secret."
"It's just how to get into a room!" Sam said laughing at Lydjah's grave expression.
"It's the room of Hidden Things for a reason though- I'm not about to spill my dad's secret hiding place."
"What's he hiding?" Lydjah shrugged. Jayna thankfully, finally, changed the subject.
"Have you taken any notes yet Lydjah?"
"No?"
"Was that a question?"
"Was that?"
"Yes."
"That wasn't though."
"I am aware."
"Of what?"
"The questionable status of the sentence you just uttered."
"What the hell are you guys talking about?" Sam interrupted. Lydjah and Jayna looked at each other.
"To be honest I have no idea." They both chorused. Sam sniggered and the three girls returned to their work.