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Chapter 11

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A middle aged man sat in a chair in his office going over some of his patients' files. At this moment he was studying one curious file in particular. He had just been informed an hour ago that he would be receiving a new and very psychotic patient who needed some major therapy. He looked up over his glasses just as his new patient was wheeled in through the doorway.

Knives groggily woke up from his sedation to find himself once again strapped up to a metal chair in a doctor's office.

He blinked angrily and stared at his new doctor who had strange brown hair that was fluffy. Knives contemplated on the idea of escape and going on a killing rampage, but alas, he knew that if he did not at least try to "lull them all into a false sense of security", they would just shoot him up with sedatives and "happy happy" medicines again.

The Psycho-Therapist looked at Knives and smiled a huge smile that was so happy and blinding it could make grown men sick.

For a moment, the doctor glanced at Knives' file as if checking on something important before looking back at Knives and opening his mouth to speak.

"Are you a happy tree?"

"What?" Knives said in confusion.

"Are you a happy tree?" the doctor said in a totally serious tone with a smile on his face.

"…the Hell?" Knives replied with wide-eyes and a raised eyebrow.

The Psycho-Therapist smiled and held up his folder and looked at the information again.

"Well, it's just that it said in your file that you're a plant so I wanted to know," the doctor began to speak in baby-talk, "Awr u a whappy twree?"

Knives scowled at him un-amused before stating, "I am not that kind of—"

"But, anyway," the doctor cut him off, "My name is Dr. HappyPants…"

"…and I'm going to be your Psycho-Therapist."

Knives scowled at him and opened his mouth to speak, but Dr. HappyPants cut him off again.

"How was your lunch, Mr. Utensils?" the doctor said smiling and clasping his hands together in the air.

Knives growled angrily, "My NAME is Kni—"

"Of course I know what your name is," Dr. HappyPants continued, "but it's too violent—"

"—So, until you choose a new non-aggressive name, I will refer to you as Mr. Utensils."

Dr. HappyPants smiled at Knives, his teeth gleaming of happiness and nice things.

"# #& # &! #&! #&#! #!" Knives yelled with an enraged expression.

"Hmm…" Dr. HappyPants said curiously while still smiling, "I don't think that's physically possible."

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"Um…" the Kitty-Kat-Shack Manager was fumbling around for some words to explain what had been said on the phone to the customer standing before him.

"Hello." Milly said with a friendly smile.

The Manager blinked.

"I want a kitty." Milly said looking at the cat that the Manager was holding.

"Um…" the Manager said slowly, "…okay—"

"—What kind of cat do you want?"

"I need an 85 year old cat!" Milly said in a slightly more hurried voice.

"Huh?" the Manager looked very confused.

Milly saw his confusion and thought maybe a quick rephrasing of the question would help, "I mean in cat years—no human years; yeah a cat that is 85 in human years and stuff, yeah!"

Milly smiled as the Manager could only blink at her and stare.

"O…K…" the Manager wondered if this girl had all of her marbles, "…an 85 year old cat, huh?"

"Yep!" Milly said smiling.

"Hmm, let me get out my calculator." The Manager got out a pencil and pad and doodled a bit on it.

Milly fidgeted excitedly barely able to contain herself.

"Ok, ma'am," the Manager stated still somewhat lost, "I figure here that you're looking for a cat that is 12 or older, alright."

Milly nodded. That number seemed to make sense to her.

As the Manager walked over to find a cat from the cages he asked, "Why would you want such an old feline, anyway?"

"Um," Milly said slowly not really sure what to say. "I guess I'll have to make up something," she thought to herself.

"Um," Milly began again before speaking quickly non-stop, "My grandma is old and sick and stuff but she wants a cat as company but she will die soon and I don't want to take care of a kitty because I am poor and have no money to feed a kitty so I want a kitty that will die soon like my grandma?"

The Manager gazed at Milly wide-eyed, "Uh huh…" before going to get some cats to show Milly.

A few minutes later, the Manager came back with four cats in a cage.

"These are the only cats we got that are over 12 years of age," the Manager said as he sat the cage on the counter.

The man picked up a fluffy kitty and set it on the counter.

"This here is Shironeko," the Manager said holding up the cat to Milly, "What do you think?"

"Me..ow…oh…ow…" the frail kitty meowed, "Meo…cough…hack…cough…ow."

Several hairs flew off the hacking cat as it coughed.

Milly bit her lip slightly, "Um…how about a different one?"

The Manager shrugged and reached in the cage and pulled out a different kitty.

"This here is a deformed, special-bargain cat, named Honooneko."

Milly looked at the cute kitty with two fluffy tails and smiled, "How cute!"

"Nyao!" the kitty meowed before farting loudly.

"Eh…" The Manager grumbled as he fanned the air.

"How about a different one?" Milly said quickly trying not to breath.

"I think I'll just skip Poo-neko and go straight to this one," the Manager said pulling out a black kitty with bright green eyes from the container.

Milly smiled and looked at the kitty on the counter.

"Meow," said Kuroneko gazing at Milly.

Milly clasped her hands together in excitement and said, "I'll take this one!"

"20 double dollars please." The Manager said.

Milly paid for her Kuroneko and hugged the kitty tightly.

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"Ok, Mr. Utensils," Dr. HappyPants said gleefully, "Let's start our therapy session!"

Knives grumbled but decided to try to pretend to cooperate for now.

The doctor held up a card, "I'm going to show you a series of ink blot pictures and I want you to tell me what you see on them, ok?"

Knives grunted and looked at the card that had a picture on it that looked like a cat.

"A butterfly." Knives said flatly.

The doctor scribbled something down, "Okay" he said smiling before holding up another card.

"A spider." Knives said with disdain.

The doctor once again scribbled on the paper and held up more cards for Knives.

"Two butterflies." Knives said.

"A butterfly eating a spider's brains."

The doctor raised an eyebrow.

"A spider being killed maliciously by a shoe!"

"A spider having its legs ripped off!"

"A puny human being mauled by a pack of butterflies."

The doctor began flipping over the cards to look at them curiously before scribbling on the page.

The doctor held up a card that looked like a Thomas.

Knives squinted at it before saying, "Vash suffering eternally and painfully!"

"Hmm…" The Psycho-Therapist said with interest before holding up the last card.

Knives looked at it for a moment in thought.

"…Legato."

Dr. HappyPants flipped the card over to look at it before opening his mouth to speak to Knives.

"I always thought it looked like a toucan to me." The doctor stated thoughtfully.

Knives rolled his eyes at the doctor, "Hmph."

"Anyway," the doctor said smiling, "I think we've found out a good issue of yours to talk about from this little exercise."

Knives glared at the human un-amused.

"Tell me about your brother Vash." Dr. HappyPants said whipping out a fresh scribbling pad.

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Vash's sneeze broke the awkward silence out on the porch.

"God bless you!" BMW laughed.

"Thanks," Vash said right before his stomach started rumbling.

"Let's go eat lunch, stranger!" the old man said enthusiastically.

Vash grimaced at the thought of eating a second donut-free meal.

Vash sniffled as he and the old, blind man in sunglasses walked to the cafeteria.

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Meryl stared out of her window with a strange expression of embarrassment and guilt on her face as she watched the poor random man flailing in the street.

"Ah HAH ha AHHHHH!" the coffee stained man yelled in pain.

Meryl tried to act nonchalant and quickly scooted out of view from the window as several people gathered around the man clutching his buttocks, asking him if his ass was going to live.

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What will Knives say about Vash to Dr. HappyPants? Will Milly's plan actually work? Will Meryl ever finish reading the law book? Will Vash survive lunch? Will Knives agree to change his name?

All this and more, Next Time!

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To be Continued

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Review! Please!

Thanks! Yeah!

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