11.
You're in my arms and all the world is calm
The music is playing on for only two so close together
And when I'm with you, I'm so close to feeling alive
so close to reaching the famous happy end.
Lily ended up falling asleep next to Harry's cot that night. She drifted off while running her fingers along his skin as he snored softly. It brought Lily back to sleeping next to infant Harry. It brought her back to hopping from shelter to shelter, when she was floating from job to job. She could remember the day clearly when her life finally changed for the better…the day Eric offered her a stable and well paying job.
Even if she never cared for him romantically, she owed Eric more than running out on the job. She loved the independence Eric's job offer had given her. She loved spending nights with Harry at home, eating take out by the television. She loved having enough money to get Harry new clothes when he grew out of them. She loved feeling like a competent mother, instead of a failing one.
"You can be happy."
James' words rang into her head like a broken record player. It was hard for her to not think about everything he'd said to her that night. It was hard for her body to forget the way he held her close, like she was all he ever needed. She just kept thinking about James, more specifically the way he looked at her.
And the way she was starting to look at him.
Lily woke to sunlight streaming from the bedroom window and Harry missing from his cot. At some point in the night, someone had placed a scarlet woolen blanket over her shoulders. Lily only needed one guess that it had been James; she knew for a fact Sirius likely would've done something less sweet and more sour just to prank her.
Sirius wanted her to snog James, he'd made that pretty clear. As James' best friend it as only obvious that Sirius wanted what was best for James. What's best for James in Sirius' eyes was Lily getting her 'lost' memories back and making ten more kids for Sirius to spoil. What's best for James in Sirius' eyes is Lily accepting her fate and leaving behind the life she'd built for herself.
Lily didn't know what she wanted for herself but she knew she wanted to make James happy.
He deserved the girl in the photographs.
On one hand, Lily was envious of the woman in the photographs on the walls; on another hand…that woman came with a lot of baggage Lily had never thought to consider.
Not that James was baggage.
Lord only knew that Lily was attracted to his suggestive smiles and warm air, but picking James meant picking the insane idea that she had a life alternate from the one she knew. Picking James meant leaving behind the world she'd built for herself and Harry, a safe world.
It was a world where witches didn't have a personal vendetta against her family; a world where the weirdest things were purple cats and broken nightmares; and a world that didn't turn Lily's brain around like she was on a carousel.
Lily sighed into her arms but her private confusion was interrupted by a very familiar happy giggle. An encouraging cheer that Lily didn't recognize accompanied the laugh and curiosity got the best of her. Lily stood up off the floor but kept the maroon blanket wrapped around her shoulders as cool air drafted around the old cottage. Another laugh dragged her feet forward. Lily's curiosity carried her down the strange hallways filled with photographs of strange memories she couldn't remember.
She glanced around the doorway to the kitchen and paused from entering the room all the way when she saw James. He was carrying Harry in his hip, both of them sporting fresh-out-of-bed hairstyles. Harry and James were bent over the stove and both sharing the grip over a spatula. The pan on the stove was sizzling and she smelled something sweet drifting through the air—like cinnamon and sugar.
Staring at the scene was almost the turning point in her mind.
All she ever wanted was standing in front of her at a stove, covered in baking flour.
"Now mate," James' voice was soothing but firm, "You have to wait for the bubbles in the batter—see! Now it's perfect we can flip it!"
Lily crossed her arms and leaned against the doorway, watching as James slowly showed Harry what to do. Harry reached out the spatula and Lily felt her heart lurch as James helped guide Harry's hand over the pan. They both had quick movements as a pancake was flipped dramatically in the air and Lily was rewarded with her favorite sound on earth: Harry's maniacal laughter. Lily covered her mouth, hiding her own laugh as James applauded Harry's pancake flip.
"Atta boy, son!" James nuzzled his nose into Harry's face as Harry kept snickering, "You did it! Look at the golden beauty!"
"Mummy is going to be so excited." Harry's feet kicked excitedly, "She hates making pancakes but she loves eating them."
"We'll finish making a few more," James told Harry, "And bring them upstairs to her."
"Will she be angry if we wake her up?" Harry asked as they made pancakes.
"Why would she be angry?"
"She's been shouting a lot."
James sounded troubled, "Harry, are you worried because your mother and I have been arguing?"
Lily felt herself swallow thickly. Of course, how could she have totally forgotten about Harry? Harry had been swept up from everything he'd ever known into a strange world just like she had. Lily felt like an awful mother for not even considering Harry's feelings because she'd been too busy trying to sort through her own. Lily's eyes were trapped on Harry's fingers, which draped around James' neck.
"No," Harry told James confidently, "I just wish-" Harry furrowed his little brow and Lily's heart broke for her son, "I want her to be happy."
"She will be." James promised Harry without a pause, "As soon as we get your mother these pancakes she won't be able to resist cracking a smile, mate. Trust me."
Lily knew she couldn't stand by and be an observer anymore, "Good morning boys."
James spun around at the sound of her voice disrupting his bonding time with Harry. James was so caught up in her stare that he didn't notice the pancake was burning on the pan.
"Your pancake is burning." Lily pointedly looked at the pan so she'd stop staring at the expression on his face.
James swallowed thickly as he turned away and flipped the pancake onto a plate with others. Harry cheered and wiggled out of James' grasp, running right to Lily. Lily was warmed by Harry's smile and reached out her arms to hug her little boy happily. She buried her face into his hair and breathed in, wondering how on earth she lived without the boy.
"Harry and I are making pancakes for you."
"I can see that." She stared at James over Harry's mop of black hair.
When he turned to face her again his hazel eyes were asking her if she'd heard what he'd said. Lily licked her lips and let go of Harry. She skirted around the kitchen table to the stove, looking at the pancakes that were ready to eat. Harry climbed into one of the chairs, looking between his parents excitedly. Lily reached around James to grab a pancake fresh off the pan. It was warm to touch and she placed it in her mouth, chewing expertly.
Harry was practically falling out of his seat in excitement "Is it good?"
Lily's mouth was full so she just nodded. James crossed around Lily to grab a clean plate and cover it in two more pancakes. Lily and Harry both watched as James drizzled syrup over the golden bread, eyes very focused on anything but Lily.
Lily's eyes grazed James' cheek, dusted by flour and noticeably clenched. James passed the plate to her and their fingers brushed. Lily turned away quickly to the kitchen table. James set Harry up with a plate and then made himself a coffee with a few tricky swipes of his wand. Harry tried pouring more syrup over his pancakes but Lily stopped him in time.
"Eat your pancakes as they are, Harry." Lily said just as James reached for the syrup and poured more over Harry's plate.
"James."
James lowered his coffee cup to stare at her, "Hm?"
"Do you lack the basic concept of rules?"
James bit the corner of his mouth before replying smoothly, "I look to aid to any mischief making in this house."
Lily glared at him, "A sugar high kid is definitely aiding future mischief."
"He won't be our problem anyways" James replied offhandedly.
"How so?" Lily snorted, imaging Harry bouncing off the walls later asking to fly on James' broomstick again.
James replied ever so casually, "Because Sirius is going to watch him."
Lily raised a questioning eyebrow at James, "Why is Sirius watching Harry?"
James' eyes glanced to make sure Harry was invested in his pancakes before answering, "You wanted to go see your friends right?"
"Yes?" Lily hesitantly paused before saying, "You aren't going to keep me here?"
"I can't make you stay." James said, "but I'm not going to let you go anywhere without protection."
"Oh." Lily pushed her plate away and considered James, "And you can protect me?"
"Until you get a wand," James said, "Yes. I can protect you."
"What about Harry?" Lily looked at her boy, "he doesn't have a wand."
"Oh," harry's eyes sparkled, "Can I get a wand dad?"
"Not quite yet, son." James told Harry with a wink and Lily sighed.
"Is Sirius even capable of babysitting a kid?" Lily asked weakly.
"The only other person on this earth that loves Harry more than you or I," James said pointedly, "Is Sirius Black. Nothing will ever happen to Harry as long as he's around."
"If Sirius watches me today," harry said trhough a mouthful of pancake, "Can we try broomsticks again?"
Both Lily and James answered at the exact same time.
"Sure."
"Absolutely not."
Lily sent James a glare and he grinned sheepishly, "Leave the parenting to the one who has been doing it the longest, please."
James didn't answer and instead stole one of her abandoned pancakes, stuffing it into his mouth all at once to avoid talking. They managed to get dressed and ready to go in an orderly fashion. James led Lily into their old room and showed her a chest filled with clothes she used to wear. Lily happily picked out a flower printed shirt and red slacks. She avoided the robes in the chest like they were made of thorns. Putting on the robes would mean she'd chosen which life she wanted—and she hadn't chosen.
Not yet.
"Don't you worry." Sirius told Lily as she passed Harry off to him before they left, "Harry will be fine."
"If there's even a scratch on his finger, I will end you." Lily threatened as James pulled her out the front door into the streets.
James apparated them, just like he'd done the night before. This time apparition didn't bother Lily as much and when her work office building appeared across the street from them, Lily didn't feel dizzy. The office was coated in raindrops from the grey dreary day. James kept his hands in his pockets as they walked twords the building, his eyes fluttering in every direction.
"If there's even a hint of magic," James hissed at her as she opened the doors, "We're leaving."
"Fine." Lily hissed back, her heart racing as they climbed into the elevator.
She couldn't help but be worried that James' stories were right and the wtich was waiting for her upstairs. She couldn't help but imagine Eric and Melina bound to chairs, wands pointed at their necks. How did wizards even torture? She wasn't sure but she knew it couldn't be good, because it was magic torture for fucks sake. Anything the imagination could conjure. She slammed her finger on the buttons a little harder.
Instead of finding her friends tied in chairs though, she found them at Melina's desk. Melina was on the phone and Eric was next to her, staring at her face worriedly. Melina looked up from her computer and a look of relief crossed her face. Eric grabbed Melina's phone and put it down as Melina came around the desk.
"Lily!" Melina hugged her, "We were just about to call-"
"I'm so sorry I'm late." Lily said into Melina's curly hair, "I got caught up—"
"Are you alright?" Eric asked as Lily let go of Melina to hug her boss thankfully.
"Fine," Lily lied to Eric before pulling away and gesturing at James behind her, "You both remember James, right?"
James waved at the couple at the desk inelegantly as his hard eyes swooped the office for hidden witches. Eric eyes James oddly and Melina touched Lily's shoulder in worry, clearly sensing Lily's distress.
"What's going on?" Melina asked, "I texted you three times last night and you didn't answer."
"We heard the pizza shop you and Harry go too was bombed." Eric pressed his fingers to his temples, "I was halfway to running to the Hospital to make sure you and Harry weren't—"
"No," Lily chewed on her lower lip, "We uhm, we weren't at the pizza shop. We were with James…"
Lily wondered how the muggles could think bombs had anything to do with leveling the pizza shop. It was all witches and magical duels. It was all a whole other explanation, a whole other world. Lily realized she had no idea what to tell her friends. She couldn't tell them the truth but she didn't want to lie to them either. After the last few years…Eric and Melina were the closest thing to family she'd had since losing James.
"Listen," Lily hurried, "If anyone comes looking for Harry or I—"
Eric cut her off, "Are you in trouble?" he asked apprehensively, "Do you need me to call the police?" Lily didn't miss the way his eyes skirted to James who was holding a protective stance beside Lily.
"Where's Harry." Melina was the one who noticed Harry's absence amongst the adults.
"He's uhm—" Lily struggled to come up with an excuse besides 'in another world'.
"Harry's with his Godfather." James said.
"Harry has a godfather?" Eric remarked, knowing full well that up until a day ago, Harry had no family but Lily.
"He does, sort of." Lily muttered, fingers running through her hair much like James, "Listen Eric, I need emergency holiday."
Eric furrowed his brow, "For how long?"
Lily chewed on her lip and confessed, "I don't know."
"Lily if you need help, please let Melina and I help you-not some stranger that you just met." Eric threw a dirty look at James and Lily flinched at the perfectly pointed look James sent Eric.
"Eric." Lily placed a hand on her boss' shoulder, "Trust me, you've already helped me so much."
Melina looked perturbed, "Lily what's going on?"
Lily fretfully wrung her hands together, "Melina, you wouldn't believe me if I told you."
Eric looked like he was about to argue some more but James stuck a hand in front of Eric. Eric stared at James hand awkwardly.
James cleared his throat as he caught up Eric's hand forcefully, "Thanks for giving Lily a job and helping her take care of Harry when I couldn't be there."
"When you couldn't be there?" Eric sputtered, "What?"
Melina narrowed her eyes and then opened them in surprise, "You are Harry's father!"
Lily didn't say no and James just grinned halfway in Lily's direction. Melina shook her head in disbelief, whispering that she'd known it, and leaned against her desk. Eric looked frazzled as he let go of James' hand.
Eric looked between Lily and James before his eyes landed on Lily kindly, "We'll keep your desk open."
Relief flooded Lily chest, "Thank you."
James took her elbow, "Come on, we'll get back to Harry."
Once outside the building and had apparated them home, James considered Lily sympathetically in the empty entryway of the cottage. The only light filtered in from the square window in the door. With her back pressed into the wood, the light fell on James' face, lighting him up like a spotlight. Upstairs they could hear Sirius and Harry playing. Neither of them announced their presence.
James whispered, "You didn't tell them Harry wasn't mine."
"No." she whispered back.
James sniffed, "Thank you."
She lifted her eyes to see his hazel eyes were hazy with water, "Lily I know this is mad and crazy. I know how hard it must be to leave behind a cushy job and flattering boss…but you don't belong in that world."
She wrung her hands and admitted, "It must've been hard—not having your wife. I haven't been very sympathetic."
James looked at her, "You want to know the shittiest part of it all?"
"What?" she asked.
"Every morning I'd wake up in Hell and wonder who was picking you up and taking you home. Every night I'd imagine you loving someone else. Kissing someone else. I just sat there alone, thinking about how you weren't mine anymore."
Alone. The word hit her like a sword in the heart. She stared at James in wonder and he noticed her awe. He gazed at her wonder with a glimmer of something in his eyes, something that seemed like encouragement.
"I was lonely too." She sighed, "I had no job, no family, no friends and no way to support Harry."
"I never wanted to leave you alone." James looked upset, "I wanted to go after you, and the minute I tried Umbridge locked me up."
Lily rubbed her arms, "I know, Sirius told me. You should know it wasn't too bad, not once I got this job."
James adjusted his glasses gracelessly, "I wanted to apologize about that."
Lily furrowed her brow, "About what?"
"Eric." James told her, "I just—get jealous really easily and I knew you had no idea about us Lily but I just don't like to think about you with someone else." James shrugged as he pulled his fingers through his hair, "You don't understand what it was like, finding you again and thinking that you might've moved on with someone else."
"James." The truth slipped from her mouth, "I couldn't move on with anyone else."
James tilted his head at her and she elaborated.
"A part of me just never could imagine falling in love with anyone, and I've always felt like love is just for stupid people."
James tucked his fingers under her chin and her breath caught in her throat, "Well then, call me stupid."
Lily's eyes closed as he gently lowered his lips to hers. Maybe she was stupid too, because even though her brain was screaming that she was better off alone, her fingers were aching to run through his hair. Her lips felt cold when he pulled away from her, only going far enough so that their noses were still touching.
She told him, her fingers twitching, "From the moment we met, I was enchanted by the very thought that someone could love me so much." She allowed her hand to reach up and trace the skin along his jaw, making his hazel eyes pop at her, "And God, for some reason you love me so fucking much it scares me."
"One day you'll love me that much too."
"And what if I don't?" Lily voiced her worries aloud, "What if those memories never come back, James?"
James' hazel eyes are soft; "You don't need old memories to love me now."
He was right.
All the photos on the wall could hold nothing to the man blazing in front of her.
Lily licked her lips as she leaned on her tiptoes, wrapped her fingers into the front of his robes, and pressed her lips to his. It was like James had been waiting for her to make the first move because the minute she tried to pull away from the chaste kiss he dove back in and caught her lower lip with his quick mouth. His hands left his sides and his wand pushed into her cheek as he adjusted her face so he could deepen the kiss.
Lily had always wondered what it was about Harry's father that had dragged her in all those years ago and now she knew. He was as quick with his kisses as he was with his words. His tongue cut into her mouth sharply and boldly, his wand falling to the floor as his hands pushed their way into her red hair.
Lily tried to keep up with his lust filled kisses but she found herself just gasping into each kiss like she was running a marathon and losing air with each passing second. Finally, his lips left hers so that he could nibble and lick his way across her jaw. Lily's fingers were trembling as she pressed them into his scalp and leaned her head back against the door.
"I missed you." He murmured into her skin, "Merlin, Lily, I love you. Is it too soon to say that? I fucking adore you."
Lily chewed on her lip as he continued pressing kisses across every inch of skin he could reach, "I think I love you too."
James chuckled and his lips pressed to her ear, "you think you love me?"
She was going to say yes but then his lips were back on hers methodically and she was lost in the way his long fingers dragged away from her hair and traced down her sides. She tried to focus on kissing him, tried to focus on anything besides his fingers that were reaching until they grasped her arse firmly and tugged her closer to his person. His fingers moved, playing across her skin like she was an instrument. She was thankful he was still kissing her because her breathy moan was caught against his mouth.
She couldn't believe she didn't remember him. She never wanted to forget the way his nose pushed against her skin, nosing her to better angles for his teeth to skim her skin. She couldn't get enough of it, the way he was pushing into her body like he'd never let her go again, her left leg wrapped around his waist and he got the hint, hitching her onto his hips in a way that caused both of them to break apart in a rush only to dive back in heatedly.
Lily felt hot all over as he carried her into the sitting room. The curtains were wide open, allowing any passerby to watch as he pushed her into the sofa in a tangle of eager arms and legs. Her hands stayed tangled in his hair, soft and perfect for pulling when he kissed her particularly coarsely. The new angles also provided James the power to press his entire body into Lily's. Her hips pressed up and into his fervent trembles and she no longer wondered if she really had a kid with him because James knew how to make her yearn for more.
Every touch, push, and murmur was like a dance he'd memorized a long time ago.
Suddenly the door slammed open and Lily and James pulled apart. Lily's eyes opened and she saw that his glasses were askew and he looked as confused as she felt. They'd both forgotten where they were. James sat up and pulled out of Lily's grasp to hide Lily behind him. Lily saw his hans tracing his body for his wand. They both remembered at the same time that he'd dropped it and James cursed but kept his protective stance in front of Lily.
Lily straightened her red hair as a fat man came stumbling into the sitting room with Marlene and Remus on his heels. Remus and Marlene both had their wands pointed at his neck. When the fat man spotted James his face grew even tenser. Lily sat up straight on the sofa, patting her face to try and get the redness down as she accessed the man being kicked into the room.
"What the fuck is going on?" James' voice was notably husky but if Marlene and Remus noticed, they said nothing, "Why is Pettigrew in my fucking house?"
"We found him but not the pensive." Remus said furiously as he half-kicked Peter into the corner of the sitting room, "Thought seeing you might scare him enough to talk before the Aurors come."
The man sniffed and eyed Lily, sitting behind James awkwardly, "Lily?"
"Don't you dare speak to her!" James shouted at the man and Lily no longer had to wonder who the man was, "Don't you dare even look at her! You traitor! You're the reason she's—why we can't—stay away from her, you fucking bastar—"
Lily jumped up and placed a soothing hand in James' hand, startling him from his monologue, "James." She whispered, "It's okay. I'm right here."
James blinked back angry tears as he turned to press his lips to her temple.
"How did she get her memories back?" Pettigrew asked in confusion after watching James press his lips to Lily.
James' fingers squeezed into Lily's roughly, "She doesn't have her memories back you git. Why do you think we've been looking for you?"
Peter's frown only increased, "She knows who you are. She's letting you kiss her."
"I don't need old memories to recognize when someone is special. Just like I don't need old memories to recognize a rat when i see one." Lily stood confidently at James side and James looked at Lily like he might like to snog her again, this time in front of everyone.
Sirius came down the stairs, Harry in his arms and wand aloft, "Look what the fucking dog dragged in." Sirius passed off Harry to Lily and Harry dug his face into her chest as all the adults stared at the cowering man on the floor, "Going to enjoy throwing your arse in Azkaban, Pettigrew."
"Sirius." Peter's eyes eyed Sirius' wand with discomfort, "Aren't you the dog in the scenario?"
"Fuck you." Sirius snapped and Lily jumped a bit, surprised at Sirius' harsh tone.
"Listen you little shit." Marlene astounded Lily more when her voice deepened and her wand sparked directly into Pettigrew's neck, "I've got about ten aurors on their way to this house right now to escort your fat arse to a very speedy trial at the wizarding court and if you tell us where to find the pensive you nicked, I'll make sure they put you in a nice cell in Azkaban, maybe one with a view of the graveyard."
"I don't have the blasted thing." Peter blustered, "I dropped it the mo' I knew you lot were looking for it."
"Dropped it where?" James hissed from Lily's side, his hand pressing into Harry's head overtop of Lily's.
Peter pulled a face, "Why would I tell you that?"
"Because you owe it to Lily."
Peter's watery eyes fell on Lily, standing there holding Harry with James at her side.
"Is that Harry?" Peter whistled, "Hey kid."
"Don't talk to him." Lily snapped at the man for the first time, "If anything, you should be begging for his forgiveness since you tore him away from his father."
"Good luck with that." Peter snorted and everyone threatened by stepping forward so that he winced, "Fine, you lot want the memories? Go ahead and die trying to get them. I gave them to Umbridge and she'd rather die than let James win after he helped bring her down."
"Alright, now we know. Umbridge has Lily's memories..." Marlene whipped her wand through the air and Peter fell to the floor, knocked out by some force of magic Lily had not seen, "I'm taking this asshole to the Ministry for a one-way-trip to Azkaban."
"What about the woman?" Lily asked worriedly, rocking Harry in her arms, "What about Umbridge?"
"What about her?" James asked Lily, recognizing her uneasiness.
"If she really wants our family separated for good and she finds out we've found each other again, what's to stop her from trying to make our separation permanent?"
James shushed her and hugged her, so that Harry was in between them, "I'll never let that happen, Love."
"How do we know she won't find us first?" Lily asked, "How do we know she won't try to kill one of us this time?"
"All Umbridge knows is that we were chasing Pettigrew." Marlene said, "She has no idea Lily's been with us this whole time, protected."
"So?" James said.
"So if I bring Lily back to the Ministry with Peter under arrest…" Marlene elaborated, "And the press finds out I've got war hero James Potter's long lost muggleborn wife…who he hasn't seen in years…they'll go crazy and there will have to be a press conference. There will have to be a public meeting for you and Lily. We get you and Lily in the same room and Umbridge won't be able to resist."
"She can't show her face," Remus said, "She's literally been banned from stepping foot on Ministry soil...she'd probably use a disguise."
"Doesn't matter." Marlene waved her hand, "The first person to even raise a wand in Lily's direction will be stunned by fifteen aurors."
"It could work." Sirius whispered to James, "We know Umbridge is a sadistic bitch and would rather have Lily dead than have you get your happily ever after."
James immediately shook his head, "No, we are not using Lily as bait."
Lily took a step forward, "What do I have to do?"
Marlene beamed at Lily and James took her hand, "Lily—"
"James." Lily said hastily, "I want this life. I want you."
"You don't need your memories to have me." James pressed his forhead to hers, "I'm yours."
"I know." Lily promised over Harry's head, "But I don't want to be constantly struggling between worlds. I don't want to have to choose. And I know now that I can't have any of this life without all of my memories back, not really. Not like I want."
James swallowed heavily, "Lily, are you sure you want to do this?"
"Yes." Lily kissed James' cheek, "I want us to be a family."
"I thought you said falling in love was for stupid people?"
"Then just call me stupid."
She was rewarded with a flicker of James' signature smile.
Next Time:
Umbridge turned her attention to Lily, "Let's begin with the girl who started it all, shall we?"
James flourished his wand, "Over my dead body."
Her eyes glowed wickedly, "I'm flexible."
my favorite review for last chapter was totally "lmao I forgot this was an Enchanted AU"
This story is coming to an end soon, I only have two chapters left according to my outline, but just remember I'm always making up more weird AU's you never knew you wanted.
Let me know what you thought of this chapter, I love reading your reactions!
All my love,
Petals