I held Prim's hand while she slept. I had sent peeta home after he had stopped me from self harming because I just needed time with my sister. Mom was asleep in the waiting room. All I wanted was Prim to be okay. How could I have ignored her pain? How could I have ignored her sorrow? I just wanted her to be okay, to recover and come home. I was so self absorbed that I didn't even notice that prim needed me and she was the most important thing in my life. This was a nightmare.

Her hand was pale and cold and pale. I couldnt take it. I was so into my own pain I hadn;t noticed prim's.

"Prim, please, wake up. Please." I whispered. I wanted to tell her I was sorry and that I loved her and never wanted to harm her.

My phone buzzed. I peered down at it. Gale. I looked at the message. HOW IS PRIM?

I couldn't answer because I really didn't know prim was. How was prim deep down? Was she really okay? Would she get better? They wanted to send her to the district 12 mental health hospital once she got better. She wouldn't be at home anymore. She wouldn't be with me anymore. I couldn't function thinking about that.

I must have fallen asleep nex tto prom's bed, because I heard her softly calling me. I woke up.

"Little duck?" I said sleepily.

"Katniss." she whispered.

I leaned over to her, to her frail body and small demenor and I wanted to cry.

"How are you doing?"

"Katniss, I..."

"it's okay, prim. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I have to see you go to the mental hospital, i'm sorry."

"i don't want to go, katniss. Don't make me go."

"prim, i'm sorry. I wish I could help you. I wish I could make the pain go away."

prim started to cry and I cried too.

A few days later, prim was released from the hospital to the mental hospital. Mom and I walked with her to the lobby. We were both crying.

"Prim, I'll visit you every day okay?" I told her, holding her tightly to me.

"i know, katniss. Thank you." she said, rubbing her eyes, trying to calm down.

"Every day. I love you." I said to her, holding her braids in my hands, trying to calm down.

We said good-bye to prim and I couldn't help myself, I texted peeta. CAN I PLEASE SEE YOU?

We met up outside at the diner nearby after I dropped my mom off. I couldn't stand to be in the house. And I was worried I would self injure myself again. I couldn't visit prim until tomorrow and the thought of her all alone in that mental hospital made me want to sob.

"How are you holding up?" he asked me.

"HonesltY" I mumbled, raising an eyebrow.

"Dumb question." he said, holding his eyes upwards, in peace.

"it's awful, peeta. I should have known. I should have done something. I should have helped her."

Peeta grabbed my hand and pulled me close.

"I really like you katniss. This isn't your fault. You have your own isues." he whispered, rubbing his hand over my covered arms.

"I just..." I felt myself choking up.

That's when peeta leaned forward and gave me a kiss. It was soft and sweet, and for a moment I felt like nothing else was going on.