A/N: I know, another update? So quickly? What can I say, I'm to happy with my progress to stagger things. I'm 70% done with the story as it is, and I know in the future I may want to stagger things, but for now, it will be fast. Also, these next few chapters are mostly dialogue driven, and somewhat expositional, but I promise the plot will pick up slightly soon, before some more exposition and some cute Rose/Bella moments. Fret not, readers, for I do, in fact, have a plan.
I do not own Twilight, or it's characters; Stephenie Meyer does, but that's never stopped me before.

Chapter 11 - Knowing

After Alice left my room, I collapsed onto my back, looking at the ceiling. A vampire. Me, Bella Swan, would possibly become a vampire. My immediate, obvious reaction was that it sounded intriguing. I mean, I'd be fast, strong, have good senses, and I'd definitely be less clumsy. I wondered how much the change would affect my appearance. I knew Rose couldn't have possibly been that beautiful as a human, and neither could her other siblings. I also wondered about the skin; I was already pale as it was, so frankly that would be no real change. I knew these were more questions I had to ask Alice, but I couldn't for now. I just had to relax, and allow myself to be consumed by the image of myself, pale, beautiful, and deadly.

Death. The other outcome Alice presented. Obviously, that didn't appeal to me in the least. I didn't want to die, not at the moment. Of course, if I was human, I'd have to die at some point. But obviously, hypothetically, I wouldn't have to deal with that thought for years in a normal world. Victoria, of course was forcing me to think about it early. If I died, it would break my father's heart. Yet somehow, I couldn't see him particularly taking me becoming a vampire very well. I mean, vampires are immortal, so i'd outlive him either way most likely - but would I be able to see him after I transformed, if I did it? Would I want to drink his blood? I shuddered at the thought.

So there are my options - get killed by Victoria, get killed by something else, or become a vampire. I can't honestly say for sure what I want to do right away, but I know one thing for sure: I have no desire to die anytime soon.

xXx

School the next day was an interesting experience to say the least. When I initially arrived in the morning, and looked over at the Cullen car, things seemed mostly the same. And they were, that is before Alice came over to me and started talking. It was just a simple, "Hi, Bella, how was your weekend," but I was floored all the same. I had not been expecting this.

"Oh, the usual; relaxed, lounged around the house, nearly got attacked by a psychotic vampire; oh, also I found out Vampires exist so now I'm just waiting around for werewolves and fairies to start showing up." Naturally, I wouldn't have said this if anyone was in earshot, and we were thankfully alone. Alice laughed, before giving me a quizzical look.

"I don't know anything about fairies, but there were werewolves."

"Were?" I asked, confused.

"They were nearly hunted to extinction by a vampire named Caius, long story. There are still some shape shifters that turn into wolves, but…" she trailed off, smirking at me. Shape shifters that turn into wolves...why did that sound familiar…

"Well, that's fine then. What about witches?" I asked, laughing slightly.

"Nope." Alice smiled, and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and staring walking us towards the school.

As she did it, I looked over her shoulder; Emmett, of course, was grinning like a cheshire cat, while Jasper looked extremely nervous (on top of his usual pained expression), and Edythe looked more furious than ever, which nearly caused me to burst out laughing, now that I knew why she was so angry. Rosalie wasn't there, which I tried not to let bother me, but it did. Of course, I couldn't focus on that for long, because soon I was distracted by the stares of the other students.

Everyone was shocked, to say the least, that one of the Cullens had ventured out of their family, and allowed someone else into their exclusive social circle. Most of all, they were shocked it was me, plain, moderately attractive but unexceptional Bella Swan that had been allowed in. I tried to ignore the questions people were asking each other, and occasionally me, but it was very difficult. The stares continued throughout the morning, especially since Alice continued chatting inanely with me in between classes, often walking with me, despite the fact that we had essentially no classes together.

Yet, despite this, this was not the worst thing about today. No, the worst thing of all was that Angela and Jessica had clearly not informed Mike that I was gay, as he was becoming more overly eager than ever, talking to me at every chance he could get, whenever Alice wasn't there. He only ever asked me about Alice, once, before switching to other topics, attempting to grab my interest in whatever way he could (he couldn't, but I digress). It became so bad during Spanish that I chose again to avoid the cafeteria, and ate lunch in the library, avoiding an inevitable interrogation from Jessica and the others. I didn't know how to explain my newly developed relationship with the Cullens to them, as I barely understood it myself. I suppose I could say Alice and I were friends, but then they'd want to know how that had happened and how well I knew her, and I couldn't exactly say, "Oh, well she and her family had been protecting me from being murdered by a vampire, so naturally, we are now very close." I shuddered, before allowing my thoughts to drift to the one Cullen I hadn't seen this morning. The one whose reaction I was the most curious about. Where was she?

"She's here today, she just arrived separately from us." I jumped and turned to see Alice sitting next to me.

"You really have to stop doing that. Eventually you'll give me a heart attack. But then, would you see that, or is that too sudden? I'm not sure how this works," I said, laughing awkwardly, and hoping Alice wouldn't be offended by my questions. Thankfully, she smiled and threw another arm around my shoulders.

"Don't worry, I'd see that; but I'll try to give you more of a warning next time." I smiled, and then sighed.

"Won't you be missed in the cafeteria?" Alice laughed, and rolled her eyes.

"My siblings are somewhat...agitated at the moment." Ah, so they were worried about me knowing, then. Alice nodded at my unanswered question, and continued: "Yes. They don't have a problem with you, but with the rules about secrecy in our world, we have to be careful. Emmett doesn't really mind; he already wants to get to know you better."

"Edythe is still furious?" I asked, smirking.

"Yes. Not only can she not read your mind, but now you know the secret, and she can't check your thoughts to make sure she can trust you. She relies a lot on her gift to learn about people, so having no access to you makes it difficult. You guys will get along in the future." I raised an eyebrow at her, and she laughed. "Yes, I've seen it. And before you ask, Jasper doesn't have a problem with you, he's just very safety conscious. He's had a very different experience than the rest of us."

"That would mean something to me if I knew more about either of you," I said, rolling my eyes, which made Alice giggle again.

"I'll tell you some more soon, but not everything; besides, you know you'd prefer hearing lots of this from Rose." I blushed, still bothered by how much she seemed to know about my attraction to her sister.

"About Rose...will I see her in Biology?"

"Yep," said Alice, vaguely.

"And how will that go?" I asked, nervous. Alice winked at me, and then vanished. I sighed, wondering how long it would be before I felt the urge to throttle that little pixie.

xXx

I arrived at biology early, again. I sighed and walked over to the table I shared with Rosalie in the back of the room. I sat, unsure of what to do, waiting. I tried to avoid staring at the door, but I couldn't help myself, and the second Rosalie appeared, I self consciously shifted in my seat. She was looking down at the floor, making her face unreadable, but as she sat down next to me and took out her notebook, I caught a flash of her very worried facial features. She opened her notebook, and looked over at me. I tried to smile, but couldn't. I was too nervous.

"So, you know?" asked Rosalie, stiffly. She was speaking in a very quiet tone, which was understandable, since we were in a room full of people.

"Yes, I do." I replied, in a whisper. She looked at me, her face unreadable. She sighed and looked back down at her notebook. "Why does that bother you so much, Rose-Rosalie?" I quickly amended, wondering whether or not she was okay with me calling her that. She gave me a bitter half smile, and sighed.

"You can still call me Rose, Bella. And it bothers me because it leaves you very few options." I raised an eyebrow, giving her a confused look. She sighed and shook her head. We were both still speaking in hushed tones. Mr. Banner was due to begin his lecture at any moment.

"I don't understand what you mean by that. I know that…I know that you seemed very hesitant about me finding out. But still…I wanted to thank you." Rose gave e a surprised look, confusion glistening in her golden eyes. "You saved me twice now. I don't know why you did it, or why you seemed so mad at yourself for doing it. But I appreciate it, because you didn't have to." Rose's features softened, and her vulnerability from the first time we spoke reappeared. I smiled slightly, and she hesitantly returned it.

"I did have to, Bella. You don't need to thank me." I felt a pulse of warmth in my chest and I felt the urge to reach out and grab her hand. It was so close, yet I didn't know how she would react. Suddenly, her features hardened back into a scowl and she turned away from me to glare at someone. I heard a very quietly muttered apology, and looked to see Mike Newton looking down at his desk. I smirked and looked at Rose.

"He was staring again, wasn't he?"

"Yes, he was," sighed Rose, before looking back at me. Her icy facade was back, but there was curiosity and fear in her eyes. I mentally wondered if I was reading too much into her facial expressions, and if it was normal to spend this much time pondering one person's tiny facial movements. Rose was still looking at me, and I attempted another half-smile; she didn't react.

"So, Alice didn't tell me everything - there are some things she said I had to discuss with you," I said, whispering. I looked up and saw Mr. Banner looking at me, so I glanced down at my notebook and began writing. A few moments of silence passed between me and Rose, before I heard a whispered reply.

"You're right - there is. But I don't know if I want to discuss it. If we talk about it, there's really no going back." I didn't have to look at her to hear the hesitation in her quiet tone. I wanted so desperately to look at her, and reassure her, and tell her all I wanted was for us to know each other better, but I didn't. I sighed and continued taking notes, while formulating a response.

"Rose, look. I don't know what the hesitation is, and I don't know what it is you're trying to save me from. But I remember Alice mentioning something about you trying to avoid forming an emotional connection with me." I was barely audibly whispering, but I felt that Rose could hear me. I made a mental note to ask Alice about whether or not vampires had heightened senses beyond strength and speed, before remembering that the answer would probably be yes. My thoughts flickered vaguely to one of the Cullen's laughing at me dismissing Emmett's attractiveness in the lunchroom, and decided that yes, they probably did have good hearing. I realized I had stopped writing, and chastised myself for going off on such an intolerable mental tangent. I focused on the work.

"That is the truth," whispered a voice beside me. I turned and saw Rose had inched closer to me. She was writing her notes intently, and I imitated her, facing front, trying not fixate on the sensation of our closeness. "I didn't want - I don't want us to become too close. Because then - it will be impossible to fight. I don't want to explain what I mean by that, but I will say this: I don't want you to have to deal with what I've dealt with. I've never liked the life I have to live. If I could be human again, i'd do it in a heartbeat. And you knowing the truth, and Victoria being after you…it makes the prospect of a normal human life for you almost impossible." I almost shivered at the vulnerability in her voice. I reached y hand out, and brushed mine against hers. I felt the electric current between us recharge, and I almost moaned at the sensation of it pulsing in my chest. I felt Rose shudder involuntarily, and she brushed her fingers back against mine. The heat in my chest and an unfamiliar place in my stomach was overwhelming, and my pulled my hand away quickly, to avoid the sensation becoming too much. I sighed, and looked back at her. She was still facing front, and I longed to know whether she felt the same things I did. I sighed, and decided to ask the question I wanted to know the answer to more.

"Do you," I whispered, "do you want to get to know me or not? I sometimes can't tell. Sometimes you're vulnerable with me, and then sometimes you're this ice queen who seems like she wants to shove an icicle through my throat to prevent me from speaking." She laughed quietly before covering it with a cough. "It's been sort of giving me emotional whiplash. So I really can't tell - what it is you want from me. Do you want us to know each other?" There was silence, and I waited.

"Yes, I do. Part of me does want that, desperately. And its incredibly selfish of me. And Bella…I don't hate you. I admit you sometimes…irritate me," I saw her smirking out of the corner of my eye, and I laughed quietly. "But that's not because I don't want us to know each other. I just want you to have the chances and the choices I can never have. Its looking more and more like I won't be able to fight this, but I'm going to. Because you deserve better, Bella."

"What if I don't want better, Rose. What if I want to know you too?" I whispered back. I turned and saw her face looking at me, expressionless.

"You don't know what you're saying, Bella. Just know that you deserve better, and I'm trying to give you that. Also, you do sometimes really infuriate me, which is hard to look past, really. You are the most irritating person I've ever met, Bella Swan." She half scowled, and I snorted, before covering it with a cough. I looked and saw that Mr. Banner had thankfully not noticed our conversation.

"Well, at least you feel something about me - even if it is profound annoyance. I'll take what I can get," I muttered to myself. I looked over, and Rose had moved her seat further away. I sighed, and mentally wondered if there was a way I could talk some more to Alice. I knew she wouldn't give me all the answers, but maybe she could explain some things to me. I clearly needed to ask her more questions. I looked at the clock, and wrote on my paper:

Alice, I know you can see this. I need to talk to you some more after school. Maybe somewhere private. I still have more questions. I know you won't answer all of them, but I still need answers.

I sighed, and looked at the clock. The end of this day couldn't come fast enough. Right before class ended, I glanced back at Rosalie, and saw she was looking away again. As the bell rang, I thought about how all I really wanted in that moment was her to smile at me again, however fleeting that would be. I had hoped knowing would change things somehow, and I suppose it has; I just can't tell if it's in a good way or not.

I know, I know, another clliffie of sorts. They'll stop eventually...maybe.