A/N: Sorry this took so long… Song is- technically not a song!! Lol, Just go and download "thunderstorm" they'll mostly be entitled "sleep relaxation," or "sounds of nature," But make sure you're listening to rain/thunderstorm when it says to(: READ AND REVIEW?! It would be greatly appreciated.
Disclaimer: Once upon a time, there was a brilliant writer. Her name was J.K Rowling…. One day, J.K Rowling decided that her work was SO AMAZING that she made everyone sign a disclaimer, so that she felt better about people stealing her characters. Tada! Disclaimer!
Chapter 11. (The things we do just to stay alive)
Draco wrapped his arms tightly around the small woman, placating his presence. His fingers grazed her hips, as he pulled her inside the small house, shutting the door behind him.
"Hermione! Are you alright?" Blaise called out form the front room, as he ran up to Hermione, giving her a bone-crushing hug. All the while, squeezing the air out of her lungs.
"Easy now, Zabini," spat Draco.
"Oh man, I can't believe it! We were all so worried about you, and then when we got the call from Draco saying that you were-" Blaise fused his lips together, as he set his eyes upon Draco's death glare. Hermione moaned loudly and waltzed into her room, leaving behind both boys.
"Sorry, mate, I didn't know it was that bad," Blaise murmured, before clearing the space in the refrigerator, clean. Draco shook his head, and sat down in one of the hard, wooden kitchen chairs.
"No big deal,' Draco sighed. "But she won't talk to me about it. Says I shouldn't worry about it, and then just stops talking." Blaise lifted his well manicured eyebrow, and jut his lower lip out.
"Hmph." He harrumphed, sitting next to Draco. "Did you tell her yet?" Draco looked at Blaise with a pair of wide green eyes.
"What are you going on about, Zabini?" He gushed. Blaise only laughed before nodding his head.
"I'm not blind, and I was most definitely there that night at the bar." He smirked devilishly, and turned to look Draco straight in the eyes. "I actually had to look away a few times," He sighed. Draco laughed, uncomfortably and found himself staring at the tabletop. Blaise folded his hands together and set them below his chin. "Did you want to talk about it, mate?"
Draco sighed and rubbed his temples before turning to his best friend. "Nah," he huffed. "there's nothing to talk about. Blaise shook his head back and forth. Sometimes his friend could be too stubborn for his own good.
"Whatever you say." Draco bit his lower lip, and attempted a half smile, but soon came to the realisation that it looked more like a scowl, if anything. Blaise looked slightly taken aback, before twisting on his heel and running out to the living room to watch the telly. Draco sighed inwardly and ran his long pale fingers through his hair.
It was hard to believe that the woman in the other room… A woman he had grown up loathing, was carrying a child he helped create. With that thought, Draco wondered whether or not it was going to be a little boy or a little girl, and if he would ever get to know him. Let alone get to know the world at all. After all, Hermione still hadn't discussed with him what was going to happen. After the doctor had informed her that she was indeed with child, all Hermione could manage was sighing, scowling, or sleeping. Draco hadn't gotten to talk to her the two days she lied in the hospital, but he had stayed with her, despite her desperate attempts to send him straight back to the house, and get a good night's sleep.
Draco lifted himself out of his chair, and followed Blaise out to the living room, quickly climbing his way up the stairs, to Hermione's bedroom. He looked at Blaise who flicked two thumbs up, as he slowly knocked on the door.
Hermione slumped over her bed, throwing her back into her knotted sheets, and groaning loudly; after changing into a tank top. The cotton felt exceptional against her somewhat exposed back, and Hermione relished the feeling she had, of revisiting the food she was forced to eat in the hospital.
Her back ached, her mind raced, her stomach churned. Only because she was so nervous. It was plain to see that Draco and her had developed some sort of mutual liking towards one another. A liking that scared Hermione half to death. She was so brave and courageous, they had thought. She could handle this situation with Draco. Or so she had believed. It was much easier said than done, because every time she had thought about talking to Draco or even looking at him, she managed to run to the bathroom and retch the contents of her stomach out.
It was only normal that life would throw something this twisted, and awful her way. It was karma. She had gone on all those adventures with Harry and Ron, all the while breaking a dozen rules, and now she had to pay with it. By carrying the child she and her one true enemy had made together. Hermione did have to admit, that if she was forced to remember the night that she had conceived a child, she wouldn't have had it any other way. That night was going to be hard to forget in itself, but now, it would be even harder.
Hermione ran her hands through her long, soft hair, and twisted her fingers around the delicate duvet Molly Weasley had sewn her. It was only a matter of time she would have to make a decision. A mere two months ago, Hermione had met a new version of the Draco Malfoy she had went to school with so many years ago. A mere two months ago, she was just recovering from her break up with Ron. And a mere three weeks ago, she had created a child. One that was swimming along in her stomach, making itself right at home.
Still curled up on her bed, Hermione rested her head on her soft pillow, thinking deeply, before her eyelids fluttered closed, and her breathing became deep, and undisturbed by the tears that threatened to spill over onto her cheeks. A sharp rapture sounded at her doorway, and Hermione was startled to find a frazzled, and seemingly tired Draco Malfoy leaning against her doorframe.
"We have to talk," he sighed. Hermione rubbed her eye with the back of her small hand, motioning for Draco to sit beside her, with the other.
"This was so stupid of us," Hermione ranted, before allowing all of her pent up emotions to make an appearance down her flushed cheeks.
"I couldn't agree more," Draco stated. Hermione looked up to him, her eyes still glazed over with tears.
"What are we going to do?" she murmured quietly. Draco brought his hand up to the back of his neck, massaging the headache he knew was soon to make an annoyingly brisk entry to his sensitive skull. He sighed, and look at Hermione with eyes that expressed everything he wasn't able to communicate. Mostly, an exasperated 'I don't know.'
"You're not going to be sticking around, so I think I know exactly what I want do, I don't think I'll be able to raise a kid by myself, and I know that a baby is the last thing on your mind. The doctor told me about all my options and everything, and said that I could come back in once I made my descision, and they were really nice and I think that maybe it would be best for me, and that way I wouldn't have to…" Draco's eyes were practically sewn shut from the headache Hermione's ranting had insinuated.
"Hermione-" he cut her off. "You keep acting like it's just you that gets to make the decision." Hermione rubbed the back of her neck, very much like Draco had a few minutes prior to her speech.
"I am," she said simply. "It's my body, and I know what's best for me, and this situation has just really gotten out of hand…" she was starting to rant again, as Draco covered his ears to avoid an onslaught of pain in his head.
"Hermione!" He yelled. Hermione stopped and raised her tear stained eyes to meet his penetrating gaze. She had barely noticed the muffled sobs that escaped her lips during her tirade.
"See," she muttered. "We can barely handle each other as is." Draco furrowed his eyebrows and looked back up at Hermione. "What makes you think that we can handle a kid together?"
Draco massaged his lips in between his teeth, peeling apart the top layers of skin.
"Hermione," he started. "We may not be lovers, or friends, or hell… Even acquaintances, but I assure you." he paused. "I wouldn't take back that night for anything." Hermione sighed. She was afraid it would come to this.
The truth is, she wanted him to confess this type of thing to her, in order for her to be persuaded to keep the child that had inundated her stomach. A desperate part of her wanted him to take responsibility for that they had done, and admit that he wanted this baby. But another part of her wished she could take the easy way out, and get rid of the 'problem.'
Draco wrapped his large arms around Hermione's pixie- like figure, as she rested her head on his shoulders.
"So, as much as I hate to admit it, we have an agreement?" Draco laughed and rested his hand on top of Hermione's, squeezing gently.
"We do." Hermione sighed, taking in Draco's sure attitude.
"Go figure. We finally agree on something, and it turns out that it's whether or not to keep the baby we both made together, after one to many drinks on your part." Hermione laughed, but Draco's face fell, horror-stricken.
"Let's get one thing clear," he stated, in a frightening, business like tone. His eyes scathed Hermione's body, finally coming to rest on her wide, chocolate brown eyes. She looked scared beyond belief at the tone Draco had just taken on. "I was never drunk that night. I was very much sober, and I knew perfectly well what I was getting myself into." Hermione shook her head, to afraid to object. Whether or not he said it to reassure herself, or if he was really telling the truth, Hermione would never be certain. She was much to terrified to find out by asking him for the truth.
"Understand?" Hermione shook her head, yes, swallowing loudly. "Good," he finished. Hermione blushed, staring away from his intense gaze as he rubbed small circles in her back, still squeezing the small hand that was perched comfortably on his thigh.
Hermione followed Draco out of the room, her hand still intertwined in his, as he sat her down at the kitchen table, passing a very occupied looking Blaise Zabini, who was, at the moment, watching the telly.
As soon as they had retreated into the kitchen, Blaise followed. The remote still clutched firmly in his hands.
Draco smeared some jam on a piece of toast and pushed it towards Hermione. Her face contorted into distaste.
"Ugh! Enough thrusting don't you think that got you into enough trouble already?" Blaise huffed as he sat down next to Hermione at the kitchen table. Draco looked warningly at the man, while Hermione shook her head, suppressing her laughter.
"Eat," Draco whispered into her ear.
Blaise looked up from Draco back to Hermione. "So am I going to be an uncle or what?" Hermione choked back a piece of her toast, as she looked up to Draco, his eyes wide in surprise.
"I'm having the baby, if that's what you mean." Hermione murmured. Her cheeks turning bright crimson. Reality had just hit her.
Merlin, she was having a baby. She was going to have to tell her parents, and the other teachers from the school. There was so much to do, she doubted she could get it done in nine months.
"I'm not so hungry anymore," she mused, pushing the plate away from her. Draco shove it back in her hands, and leaned down to whisper in her ear, once again.
"Nice try. Now, eat." Hermione looked down skeptically at the toast, and hopefully up at the bathroom.
"I think I'm going to be sick," she faked. Clutching her stomach, Hermione rose out of her seat to go back to her bedroom, before being driven back into her seat by a very peeved Draco Malfoy.
"Sit down. Don't make me shove this stuff down your throat." Hermione took the threat very seriously, as she began taking bite after bite of her toast and jam. Draco sat down at the table next to her, perching his chin atop his interlaced fingers; watching Hermione. His eyes drifted towards a tiny bit of crumb that had balanced itself around the small corner of her mouth.
Pretty soon it was going to be hard to ignore her, and the child she housed. It was hard enough as it is, now, without looking at her and remembering that his son or daughter was inside of her. Draco thought back to the conversation they had held in her bedroom only moments before. He was very glad with their decision, and he wouldn't have it any other way.
"Here," Draco mumbled before wiping off the corner of her mouth with his sleeve. Hermione blushed, and looked down at the table, continuing to eat her toast in silence in silence.
"Ugh." Balise groaned as he sat up from the table and left to go watch a smidge more of the telly. It was hard enough to admit that he had liked this muggle contraption without hearing the wrath of Hermione. Blaise knew he had heard her informative sermon on muggle appliances more than enough times to know how non-wizards had contributed to the world, too. He was just grateful to have the television. Especially when Draco and Hermione were being so gross. Blaise thought quietly to himself, 'maybe Draco had gone soft.
Draco couldn't help but wonder the same thing. Sitting at the table, staring at a girl he had considered absolutely, undeniably beautiful. He thought about how much he wanted to hold her in his arms, but more so how much he wanted to shag the living daylight out of her. Even with her messy hair and plaid pajama pants, that were ten times to big for her. He, dare he say it, loved her even more for it.
Draco even thought about his child. How hard it would be to be a parent at the ripe old age of twenty. How, in America, he couldn't even drink, but he was ready to throw his life away for a one night stand, that resulted in some serious repercussions. But even though he had forced himself to think like that, Draco still couldn't stop himself from picturing Hermione in the hospital with that goo all over her swollen belly, and the fact that eventually they would have to pick out names together. They would actually have to agree on something. Right, as if that could happen.
The only thing they had ever agreed to was sleeping together, and keeping this baby.
A baby. He was going to have a baby with Hermione Granger, and that's all he could think about.
Draco had expected that she was thinking along the same lines as his, because her hand unconsciously drifted down to her belly, and began rotating around in small circles. She looked as though she was going to burst into heavy sobs at any given moment.
"It's going to be alright, you know," Draco whispered. Hermione didn't shift her gaze from the table she had been staring at. She simply nodded, and wiped away a stray tear away from her cheek.
"How can I believe you," Hermione cried, quietly. "All we've ever done is fight. How am I supposed to believe that you'll stick around to raise a kid?" Draco shook his head. He hadn't left a good impression on Hermione throughout school, but he thought that maybe these past few weeks were a different story. He couldn't blame her for being skeptical, but he really wished she could just learn to trust him.
He wasn't going to leave her.
Draco knew that he could have told her that, but he doubted she would have believed him anyways. Even if he was sincere. But Draco believed it with all his heart. And he promised, right then and there, that he would never leave this child, let alone it's mother.
He knew what it was like growing up in a horrid family, and he wouldn't wish that on anyone. And when his father died, Draco knew how hard it was for his mother to raise him, and convince him to make a better person of himself. He wouldn't wish that kind of stress on Hermione, either.
(It's raining!! i.e cue the sound effects) lol
Draco was sucked back to reality by the sound of Hermione's chair scraping the floor, as she hurried out of the kitchen, with Draco close on her heel.
"Where are you going?" He spat, as he leaned casually against a wall. There was that almost permanent scowl plastered across his face.
Hermione remembered it from school, and instantly regretted the night that she had made love to this man.
"I need to get out of here," She replied simply. And with that, Hermione turned on the spot, and walked out the front door, promptly slamming it shut on the way out.
She had had absolutely no idea where she was going to go before, but Hermione had a fair idea now. She couldn't talk to Ron, and she couldn't talk to Ginny. This made things so much harder on Hermione. The fact that the only person that she could talk to was the man who gotten her in this predicament in the first place, made her angry beyond words.
The only other place left to go, was to see her best friend.
He wouldn't judge her, or give her some lame advice. He would listen, and be there for her, because she needed him. That was his nature, and Hermione missed it terribly.
Hermione walked very slowly through the grounds, passing way to many names she was familiar with.
The headstone wasn't incredibly flattering, but Harry had wanted it this way. He was so fed up with his name gracing the cover of the daily prophet that all he ever wanted to be, was simply; the-boy-who-lived-in-peace.
Hermione knelt beside the headstone, bowing her head, as she inhaled a gracious amount of air. She held it in her lungs until it burned, and then she had let go of everything she had been holding onto the past two days, and bawled like no one was watching.
In reality, no one had been there before Hermione apparrated, but Hermione hadn't seen the young woman who casually stalked about in the shadows. Her eyes locked on the back of Hermione, as she sobbed every single ounce of water out of her body.
"I… I, can't…" Hermione stammered, holding on to the headstone, tears stinging her eyes. Her face was red and swollen, but even then she didn't care, because she was finally facing the fact that the one friend she would have had to talk to about everything that was happening with her, was really gone.
And he was never coming back.
Hermione gasped for air. "I… I hate you!" Hermione sobbed. The young girl in the corner of the cemetery clasped her hand to her mouth as tears stung her own face. The pity she had felt for this girl, even when she should rightfully hate her, consumed her entirely.
She knew she couldn't do that, though. Hate her, that is.
"I hate you for not sticking around, because I needed you!" She screamed. I still need you!" So sobbed even more. "You should have been here for me, to make everything better!" Hermione gasped for breath. "It's all your fault."
Hermione hadn't even noticed the rain that was falling down in torrential streams, as her tears stung her eyes shut, as if they were merged together.
The water had matted her face to her hair, as she knelt over beside the grave to catch her breath. "It's all your fault," she whispered, still crying desperately.
Hermione hadn't felt the hands on her back, pull her up, and hug her tightly. The moment spun around and twisted until Hermione felt so incredibly dizzy, she thought she would pass out again. The pair of big warm arms enveloped her in a completely familiar embrace, as Hermione looked up through this man's shirt, and straight into a pile of sodden blond locks.
Draco hugged her closer, stroking her hair and whispering gently to her, lulling her in hopes she would calm down.
"Shh, Hermione it's okay," he sighed.
"No it's not! He should have been here!" She cried. Hermione lifted her head to face Draco and look him square in the eye. Her big brown eyes full of salty tears. "I have no one, Draco," She bawled.
The girl in the cemetery sighed and put her fingers to her temple.
She really did have no one.
The woman moved her long, straight hair away from her face, and placed her small white hands into a pair of gloves. As suddenly as she had come, she fleeted the cemetery, looking over her should once at the girl who stood by a very well known grave.
(A/N: I wanted to end it here, but who am I kidding?)
Draco pulled Hermione back to the house by means of side-along apparation. Draco still held her close to his chest. Her sobs and sniffles, muffled by his shirt.
"I… Miss him… So. Much." She sobbed. Draco continued to stroke her hair, as his other palm rubbed circles into her back, once again.
"I know," he whispered. "I know." Hermione shook herself of his hold, and ran up to the door, out of the rain. Now she was gasping for breath. Like all the tears had been sprung from her body, and she had nothing left to cry.
"I miss Ginny,' She sighed, hiccuping in the process of her exhale. Draco nodded. "And I miss the Weasley's."
Hermione wiped her eyes with the back of her palm. She looked so innocent. Like a child, and it broke Draco's heart to see her like this. He had almost said something like 'why?' but stopped himself, because he knew that this wasn't the time to be arrogant, or rude.
He had gone soft. And he had absolutely no problem with it.
"I miss Ron, too." Hermione finally gasped.
This took Draco by surprise. He had known that Hermione and Ron dated for a long while, but hadn't expected her to list him off in her group of 'missed individuals.' Draco looked suspicious.
"I miss all three of us. Me, Harry and Ron, talking and laughing and going off on our crazy adventures."
Draco almost added 'And basically getting yourselves killed by angry death eaters in the process,' But he figured it still wasn't the right time for his pompous remarks.
"I miss my friends, and I feel like I can't do this without them." Draco looked down at the girl, who took it upon herself to shrink under his large arms, and wrap her own arms around his waist. She looked so helpless, and so lonely. He wondered if he would ever be able to provide her with the love and support she needs.
Who was he kidding? She needed The-boy-who-lived-to-annoy, and the Weasel. He couldn't come close to giving her what she needs. Even with his child in her belly.
Hermione stalked up the front porch, into the house, and straight to the couch. She rested her head against the back of the loveseat, and grabbed the remote from Blaise.
"Goodness, mate, what's got your knickers in a twist?" Hermione ignored him, as she looked up at Draco who came waltzing in behind her. "And why are you soaking wet?" Hermione looked down at her clothes, and then back up to Draco, wiping away any traces of tears in her eyes.
"I should probably go change then, huh?" Draco shook his head, and took the seat next to her on the couch. Hermione ran upstairs, and stripped out of her soaking wet clothes. They could have been that wet from her crying, that's how much that did for her. Hermione began dressing in a pair of thick flannel pajama bottoms and a tight cotton spaghetti strap, tank top she was sure Draco would appreciate.
Wait, what was she thinking?
Hermione walked quietly out of her room, stalling anymore gasps for breath and sat next to Draco on the couch. All three argued harmlessly over channels on the television. Hermione set her mind on a sitcom because she needed it to help lift her sprits, Draco had his eye on an action film, and Blaise on an x-rated channel.
Go figure.
Hermione heard to doorbell sound over the bickering, and rose to answer the door.
"I'll get it." Draco pushed Hermione back on the couch, gently, and walked to the door, straightening out his pants as he stood.
"Blaise give me the remote!" He heard Hermione scream, as Blaise darted past her into the kitchen. "Zabini! I will hex you in such a way that you won't be able to recognise yourself when I'm through with you!"
Draco opened the door, baring a wide grin, but upon the site of the guest, felt it melt from his face, like hot wax.
"Hello Malfoy," She said half-heartedly. There was no way. It couldn't be her. This was impossible.
"Hermione, I think you're going to want to see this."
Draco stepped away from the door, to reveal a small girl barricading the doorway.
"Hello Hermione," She whispered. Her eyes fell to the concrete porch in an almost ashamed manner.
Hermione gulped loudly, and was panting from chasing Blaise, when her eyes fell upon the girl. She immediately straightened her clothes out, and attempted to manage a small smile. Her attempts failed horrendously.
She was too astonished at the sight of girl who had just rang her doorbell. Hermione attempted to handle words, but it was as if all of her knowledge of English, the muggle subject she excelled at, had been extracted form her brain.
For she was so shocked, all Hermione could manage to mutter to the girl standing in her doorway was a brainless new impression, as she exhaled her name, her eyes beaming brightly.
"Ginny?"
A/N: I know that was a really crappy place to end, but I felt like getting this out there, and then the rest later. I, unlike so many others out there, don't pre write my chapters, so I'm sorry that these come out a little late. But hey, I'm faster than some people. Thank god I don't have a beta… Whatever that is. Lol!