Author: moor / beyondthemoor on LJ
Title: Tilt Your Head a Little
Part : One-shot
Genre: Romance/PWP/lemon
Fandom: Avatar: TLA
Series: Silk & Twisted
Pairing: Zutara
Length: 9000 words, approx.
Rating: M
Disclaimer : "Avatar: The Last Airbender" and all related rights belong to their original creators… (I am not among their ranks.)
AN: This is the thank-you fic I wrote for Habit, who left the 125th review for "Merits"! I hope you like it, Habit!
AN: WARNING! Possible spoilers (sort of) for "The Boiling Rock" parts 1 & 2.
A series of drabbles, one-shots, and other shorts all relating to sex, in one way or another. This round: Zutara!
"Tilt your head a little…"
"You think you can make it alone out there?" snarled Zuko as he grasped Katara's wrist tighter. His hair fell loosely to cover his scarred face and he flattened her against the stone wall of the darkened alleyway, behind a pile of broken crates while the soldiers ran past but a few meters away, weapons raised.
Through her wild tangled hair the Water Tribe warrior glared straight back with venomous hate. It was dark, but her eyes glinted fiercely.
"How could you do something so stupid?"
"Someone had to help them, they were suffer-."
"That doesn't mean you had to be the one to do it!" Voice cracking and barely controlled, he shook her, his gold eyes flashing and showing he wanted nothing more than to wring her neck. The violent gesture was slightly futile as his warm, larger body pinned her to the cold wall. Every inch between the young man and woman met in contact, making both uncomfortable.
In truth Katara knew he was right – her own brother had berated her for posing as the Painted Lady before to help others. And here she was, healing again – but in broad daylight in a Fire Nation town. It had been an accident… sort of.
The crowds had gathered so quickly around the community well, each person telling friends & family a healer had arrived… it hadn't taken long for the local authorities to part the children and families who'd surrounded her, and even less time for them to pick up on her Water Tribe heritage. Instant enemy.
It had been a mess, and their group had paired off & split to evade capture. Suki & Sokka one way, Toph & Aang another, Jin Tseng & Hakoda somewhere else – Katara had missed where. That had left her with Zuko, who'd hauled her bodily to her feet while she was still healing the young child with the broken arm.
"I'm not done yet," she'd protested as he'd tried to cover her with a cloak to conceal her identity.
"We're all done for if you don't start moving," his twin dao had shone brightly in the morning light as he'd drawn his blades and faced the closest soldiers. He'd been about to push the child away until the little one looked up at him, terrified at the sight of the wicked-looking edges swinging so close to his head.
"Argh!"
Teeth clenched, swords re-sheathed, child in one arm and dragging Katara with the other, Zuko had kicked through the Fire Nation troops and they'd escaped.
The villagers had rallied to protect Katara.
The families had tightened ranks to protect Zuko, who carried the child.
The little boy had dozed off a little while after they'd entered the alley, the excitement and race to safety having exhausted his slight, malnourished frame. A tussled head rested on the tall young man's shoulder now, while drool balled and dribbled occasionally down his collar. Zuko shifted the young child slightly in his arms to re-balance him.
Ignoring his chastising Katara focused on the child again and raised a hand to touch the warm, tattered-clothed back.
"He's breathing better, now that he's in less pain," she said tightly. "We have to take him back to his family."
She wanted to go back? Zuko thought he would explode.
"NO!" His eyebrows shot up to his hairline in incredulity. "We can't! We have to get back to the others before anything else happ-."
"There they are!"
Not even bothering to curse, Zuko turned and followed Katara as they ran further down the alley, further into the city's slums.
The shadows pulled longer, nipping at their retreating heels as early morning changed to afternoon.
The awning had collapsed after what must have been an earthquake, going by the cracks in the building's foundation. The once-colourful material had fallen to the side, covering up the old storefront and blocking the interior from view.
"We'll be safe in here for a while," Katara said after assessing the wreckage. "We can rest, and then find our way home."
It had taken them until suppertime to get the boy back to his family. The light was fading and the pair was hungry after their trek across the village's slums.
xXx
Tired, but still walking erect, they slid behind the awning and let their eyes adjust to the darkness.
"There's no one here."
"That's the point."
Zuko nodded and moved further in to the craggy room, his eyes taking in everything in sweeps and glances.
For her part Katara stayed at his side, water-adorned arms held in front of her in an easy stance that would let her attack or defend, depending on the trigger. After they'd fled with the boy, it had become their standard placement; side by side, ready for anything. They'd been fighting together – and each other – long enough to know exactly how the other responded… Depending on each other all day had become abnormally normal.
They reached the rear of the room and declared it clear; she righted a broken table, and he held his hand aloft to afford them some illumination to set out their rations. Their meager portions laid out, Zuko extinguished the glow and they sat in silent darkness.
"You aren't going to criticize me for healing the villagers?" she asked him tentatively some time later as she nibbled her fruit. Not that she was spoiling for a fight… but she'd expected at least some scathing insults about her priorities from the oldest of her peers.
"No," he replied simply.
"… Then why did you get mad? Haven't you ever wanted to help someone, despite it going against your 'priorities'?"
He ignored the anger tingeing her words. The memories of his uncle, and the Avatar, were clear enough to him.
"You can help the many, or you can help the few, Katara," he said quietly. "You vowed to help the Avatar return peace and balance to the world – but it seems like that pledge takes a second seat to your sensitivities whenever we come across a sick or injured peas—person," he amended. He could feel her tensing across from him, and knew he'd struck a nerve.
"They need help," she started, but he interrupted her sharply.
"The entire world needs help, Katara. We are the ones who have to help all of them, and that means everyone. You can't keep playing favourites or else we'll never fix what's wrong. We'll never take the Fire Lord down. We'll never depose my father!" Neck cording with every effort to restrain his frustration, Zuko now sat up straight, preparing to rise from his knees. "So you know what? Yes, everyone will need help, and we'll have lost our chance to give them all a shot at a better life. You can heal them when we've helped them—all. But you can't keep putting everyone, yourself, your friends, Aang – the Avatar – in such a risky position all the time."
The young woman glared at where she thought he sat in the darkness. His words, his tone hurt because everything he said was true, and she knew, had always known it, but didn't know how to stop herself from helping others. A part of her refused to walk away when there was even the smallest chance she could help, could save a life.
"So you're saying I'm selfish?" She swallowed over a dry, hard lump in her throat. The fierce bender knew she could seize the hot anger simmering within her, indignant that he'd dare say such things to her; but she was honest enough with herself to realize the truth behind Zuko's words, and to know her anger was self-directed.
"You're putting your abilities, and opportunities, above those of the mission."
"So you are saying. I'm. Selfish."
It was full dark in their hideout now; no light filtered through the chinks in the cracked awning or piles of rocks obscuring the entranceway. Night had fallen. This area of the town didn't have any night markets, and the citizens had retired to bed. The air was very still. The benders didn't move to disturb it, either.
Food sat solidly in their stomachs, neither interested in eating anymore.
Zuko's clothes made a soft sound as he sat back, too tired to argue anymore. He balled his hood up behind his head as he lay down on the uneven ground. Back turned to his companion, his breathing slowed and he tried to relax. Fighting wouldn't get them anywhere that night, and she wasn't his responsibility… well, she was – but she was also responsible for herself. She had to face her own demons and take ownership of her own actions and the consequences thereof – including how her decisions affected the group. They could have been setting up camp in a (relatively) safe wooded area somewhere isolated in the Fire Nation, together with the rest of the group, and instead they were scattered to the four winds. They didn't even know if the others were safe.
Zuko clenched his eyes shut and his fists bunched in his robe. How could she have been so stupid?
Katara moved away from the table, put away her food and stared at the ceiling for a bit. A sigh crossed her lips as she fought boredom and fatigue. Arms around her knees, she rocked a bit and tried to find a way to pass the time until they'd leave their safehouse. After keeping her arms at the ready all day waterbending soldiers out of the way, she wasn't interested in drawing the familiar liquid from its water-skin at her side. She sighed again. She really had done it.
The sad sound of her breathing irked the young man, and keeping his eyes closed, he let out his own sigh. "What?" he asked. "Something wrong?"
Katara shook her head.
"Katara? Are you ok?" he asked, more worried this time. They hadn't even asked each other if they'd been hurt when they reached the hideout that night. For all he knew, she was suffering from a wound somewhere on her person. The possibility that she may be hiding and in pain hadn't occurred to the shocked young man. "Katara," he repeated, more urgently. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"
He bended a small flame in his hand and looked around for her.
"Are you crying?" his quiet voice carried all the incredulity he felt, and more.
"No," she snapped, rubbing at her eyes.
"Did the soldiers get you? Why aren't you healing yourself?" Did it work when a Waterbender healed herself, he wondered as he approached her.
Then he reached out a hand to her shoulder to force her to look at him. Whiskey eyes examined her as best they could while the object of their focus tried to fidget and avoid them.
Finally Katara pushed Zuko hard in the chest and forced him to back up. The motion made the flame he held flicker, but it didn't go out.
"Stop it, I'm fine."
"And I'm a hogmonkey's uncle."
"Right twice in one night," she muttered, glaring at him.
"What is with you? Is it what I said earlier, or is it just me?" She stubbornly refused to answer. "I heard something, I came to see how you're doing, and you pushed me away--."
"I don't need you," she said levelly, meeting his eyes.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Then let me go grab those Fire Nation soldiers you're so desperate to invite to tea."
"Back off, Zuko. I mean it."
"Or you'll what? Cry some more?"
That did it.
"You don't know anything about me!" Leaping to her feet she uncorked her water-skin and threw her shoulders back, automatically taking an offensive stance.
"I know enough to know you're mad at yourself for making a mistake, for putting everyone in danger. I know you're stubborn and proud and refuse to give up what you believe in," their voices rose in the stone-walled room, echoing slightly off the dense surfaces. She drew her water; he raised his hands to fend off the attack she was preparing. "I know you were crying pitifully alone in the dark, because you'd rather keep everything to yourself than share and possibly end up finding someone, a friend, to help you and make you feel less guilty!"
"Enough, stop it!"
"And I know you want to lash out at someone, anyone, right now because you don't know how to talk to others about your problems, about how to reconcile what your values are and what your priorities are." He stepped to the side; she mirrored the movement, keeping him in front of her. "How sick you feel when you have to give up what you've always believed in, and take the risk that others take care of themselves while you work for a greater good. Whether others will still like you, respect you, welcome you back when you left them, all of them, each one of them, in order to help the many."
They'd started circling each other as he spoke, he calmly, she baring her insecurities every time he hit at a chink in her emotional armour.
Katara's blue eyes shone.
"I know, Katara," his arms relaxed faintly, and lowered slowly in a gesture of peace. He stopped moving and watched her warily, sympathetically. The battle warring within her was so familiar his heart ached at the similarities in their situations.
"You don't know anything," she whispered, refusing to concede yet. She felt her voice come out strangely strangled, and held her stance.
"My uncle who did everything to teach me what was right; my mother who was exiled to protect me; my pointless search for the Avatar for three years of my life!... They did everything they could for me to help me reach my goal. I threw away everything I had worked for, that they had worked for, lost everyone close to me when I joined you. Everything I'd fought for became worthless, useless," her arms had frozen, and she stopped moving completely as she listened to him. His hand held a small light, casting shadows over and between both of them as they stood there in the open room. "Then I joined you, the 'enemy' after giving everything up – and even then, the one person who still cared for me came to save me," Mai, the girl he'd left in order to protect her from the traitorous reputation that would follow his wake. "I know I don't deserve their respect. Their hope. Their forgiveness." He took a step towards Katara; her arms had fallen to her sides uselessly. "But I know now that the only way to make their sacrifices worth something is to do what is best for everyone. I did my best because they believed in me. For me, that 'best' was to help you and the Avatar."
"Why are you telling me this?"
The air had quieted again, and the space between them warmed. He instinctively put his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the face. The light went out.
"You're not alone in this, Katara. We've all given up something in order to help Aang," he said softly. "Stop beating yourself up because you can't heal the world yet. We're getting there – but there's just this one thing we have to do first."
In the dark they stood together, she leaning in to him, he encircling her while she rested her head in the crook of his shoulder. No light and no darkness separated them.
"The Fire Lo—your dad?" she asked, muffled by the roughened silk of his robe.
He nodded, his chin oddly comforting her as it rested and rubbed the top of her head lightly. "Yeah."
Both wanted to sigh, but neither did.
"But as soon as that's done you can go back to happy-healing glow-time, I promise," he said.
"… 'happy-healing glow-time'?" she asked, tilting her head back to look up at him, eyebrow raised skeptically.
"Or whatever you call it," his cheeks warmed. Actually, all of him was quite warm at that moment – and he started realizing how close they were. "Uh, did you want to… uh, should I… uh…"
"Hmm? Oh. Oh!" she startled at the same realization, and they disentangled themselves quickly, faces flaming.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to--." He blubbered.
"I know, and I didn't either, I mean, I, you, you have a girlfriend!"
"Yes, Mai! I think she's rotting in a prison now, or dead, but girlfriend, yes, and you have boyfriends, too. Or a boyfriend, at least. I mean--."
"Wait, what with the what now?" Katara looked at him, confused.
"Well, I mean Jet, and Haru, and Aang, I mean he's the Avatar and he likes you, but there's The Duke and Pipsqueak," Zuko rambled on, unaware of the young lady's rising temper.
"You think I was with Jet? Haru? Aang!?" she seethed.
"Well, I mean, you all travel together, and –oh! I almost forgot Teo!"
"ARGH!"
The water moved so quickly from her side to his face the usual shk-pop of the cork was lost in the magnificent splash-slap of the water.
"… What did I--," the young man started, clearly insulted, but Katara took a menacing step towards him.
"You thought I was with everyone?"
"… well, not Toph. Or your brother."
"Well thank the spirits for small favours that I'm not a 'keeping it in the family' kind of girl!"
"Are you mad at me?"
"Of course I am – you just paired me up with everyone in our group! I'm surprised you didn't … no, never mind. I'm not going there. I can't believe you, Zuko. That you thought I was like that."
His inner flame increased slightly to bend the water from his clothes, and he regained his footing to look at her; he raised a hand to firebend more light for them again.
And her words sunk in. Oh. He'd implied a number of unfair things, he realized. The young woman across from him was none of them.
"I'm sorry," he said, glancing at her and away. "I should have thought before I said anything."
She let herself calm down a moment before speaking. "Apology accepted" begrudgingly, her tone implied. Her arms wrapped around her middle.
"I just thought that you'd had a boyfriend. I just didn't think about whom."
"Well thanks for thinking of me," she retorted sarcastically. "I might as well have been dating you! I don't have a boyfriend. I don't need one, anyway. I'm too busy protecting Aang and trying to save the world to relax and go on dates right now, thanks."
Zuko relaxed a bit, his shoulders slumping. She had a point.
"At least I got to see Mai, when I was…home. You really didn't meet anyone you liked, when you were travelling?" he asked a bit self-consciously. He hadn't meant to turn the conversation personal, or in a relationship-direction, but it wasn't as awkward as he'd assumed it would be.
Katara's memories betrayed her, and her face coloured.
"No one, really."
Zuko's eyebrow quirked. "At all? Wow, you're a nun, Katara."
Her blush was replaced by an angry crimson blaze. "Well, you were kind of stalking us, so it was hard to make friends without you potentially capturing, torturing or killing them to get information about us. We couldn't put people at risk like that."
"… I'm sorry."
"Yeah, so am I."
"…Was he a good guy?"
Katara's glance swerved from the ground up to Zuko's face. She sighed and sat down, pulling her arms around her legs again. "He wasn't the first time I met him… I kind of froze him to a tree," she admitted. "But the second time, yeah. He was a good guy. He did what was right."
"Is he one of the gang?" asked Zuko. He couldn't think of anyone in the group who would have betrayed them, not that he knew them intimately or that they'd become bosom-buddies since he'd arrived. But still, no one gave off any hint of resentment.
"No," she said softly. "We left him. In the catacombs in Ba Sing Se, under Lake Laogai," her voice turned to a husky whisper. "He didn't make it out."
Zuko lowered his arm a bit and sat down beside her, laying his hand palm-up on his knee to provide them light.
"I knew a guy who meant well but was kind of obsessed with his own definition of 'right'. He would have been a great friend, if we'd been on the same side. I lost track of him in Ba Sing Se, too." He paused a moment. "After he tried to kill me."
"Fancy that. Someone wanted to kill you?"
"Being with the Avatar seems to attract all the wrong people, sometimes," he joked darkly and remembered his own past, his mouth quirking up at the side.
"Some of the right ones, too, though," said Katara. This time her shoulders slumped as exhaustion consumed her. It had been a long day; and she was losing ground fast. A yawn escaped her mouth and she covered it with her hand.
"Are you tired? You should rest. I'll keep watch for a bit and wake you in an hour," offered Zuko.
"No, s'ok. You rest, I'll keep watch…"
Zuko rolled his eyes at her stubborn pride. "Fine, we'll sit here and both keep an eye out until we can go."
"Mmm-hmmm," she murmured, eyes already closed. Katara was asleep within minutes; she slumped against him soon after.
Smiling wryly, Zuko shifted and put his arm around her to keep her from falling over onto the rocks shards scattered on the ground. It was going to get uncomfortable for both of them if they were to stay in their current position. Sharp and dull edges already dug into his back when he tried to lean against an old, fallen beam for support.
Zuko extinguished the flame in his hand. Gathering the Waterbender gently in his arms, he got up and carried her bridal-style to the patch of clear floor he'd been lying down on before. He put down his cloak and lay her upon it, and then covered her with her own. She didn't stir.
He sat down beside her and kept watch for a while, listening for any sound that may betray a soldier investigating or even a neighbour snooping about. All was calm.
Until Katara started to mumble in her sleep.
"No… don't trust you…"
At first Zuko thought she was speaking to him. The next words convinced him he was wrong. Very wrong.
"… Jet, go… Not again. Hurt… Sokka. Village. Holding me…" The dream was vivid enough she thought she was arguing with Jet.
"Jet?" asked Zuko, unable to ignore the babble. It helped keep him awake.
"Jet, yes… was bad. Hooked swords…"
"He hurt you?"
"… hurt everyone, at first. No trust…"
Curiousity coursed through Zuko. She could hear him, but didn't seem to realize it was him.
"Was he a Freedom Fighter?" He had to be sure it was the same person.
"Yes… Fight… dead…"
The Firebender's blood ran cold. Jet was dead?
"Jet's dead?"
"Yes. Lake Laogai… catacombs. Long Feng…" Her voice sounded odd – Zuko bended a tiny flame to see her clearly, and noticed the reflective shine of water at the edges of her eyes.
He had to stop. She was getting upset and he'd made it worse.
"Shhhh, it's ok. It's over now."
Katara shifted in her sleep to her side, her emotions stirred and affecting her slumber.
"Shhhhh…." Zuko instinctively rubbed her back to try and calm her, half-pulling her into his lap to reach her more easily.
It was when she calmed and her breathing evened out that he relaxed again and started to feel a twinge guilty about how he'd manipulated her.
He brought her up to sitting in his lap, her head tucked into the shoulder the little boy had not been curled up on. He continued rubbing her back, his thoughts elsewhere, back to the argument that had started earlier.
"Jet, huh?" Wonders never ceased.
Zuko felt a stab of anger in his heart. Jet would have used the Avatar and his friends to meet his own ends. Katara hadn't deserved that. She'd never had a boyfriend and probably hadn't stood a chance against a charismatic person like Jet. Even if she'd said he was a good guy the second time around – he'd probably hurt her deeply the first.
As he thought, his hand ran slowly up one side of her back, traced the top of her neck gently, and caressed her side on the way down. It was instinctive, a gesture he found comforting to give. Going by how relaxed she was, it seemed to be just the thing for her, too. He moved on to her arms, bundled in front of her tightly. Up the top of the forearm, smoothly over her shoulder, then down, a touch over the inner skin of her elbow, down to her wrist to rest on her tanned, slender fingers. He stretched his hand overtop of hers a moment, noticing the way his hand could completely cover hers, warm it, measure it and glide over it before starting the run reverently up to her shoulder again. She wore her sleeveless top under her cloak, and her skin was soft to his touch. Apart from the calluses on her palms and fingers, he noticed when he flipped her hand over to touch the sensitive skin on the other side. She worked hard not just at her bending, but at all the other chores and work to be done, too. She hadn't been kidding when she'd mentioned not having time for dating.
Zuko extinguished his flame again and moved Katara's limp body until her back rested against his chest, their hearts beating in similar rhythms.
He opened her arms and rested her hands on his knees, and slowly massaged from the tips of her fingers across her palm and to her wrists.
In front of him, in the dark, Katara's eyelids fluttered slightly. She was still sitting up… but she was so warm… It felt so relaxing… A smile touched her lips and she floated in the half-asleep state, enjoying the dream of the day-spa massage.
Zuko switched his hands slightly to continue stroking her slowly, but now just with his fingertips. Up, over, down… He shifted slightly to lean forward and placed her hands in her lap; the change in position was just enough to unbalance and jolt Katara forward, too, however, and he caught her deftly around the middle before she slid to the ground.
She woke. As his breath tickled Katara's ear, she scrunched her eyes shut, then opened them. It was dark.
Someone's hands were around her.
Someone's chest was behind her.
Someone's breath was blowing softly in her ear.
Fight!
Lightning-quick, she whipped her hands to her sides to access her only source of water, and opened her mouth to scream.
Zuko clamped a hand over her mouth and kept his other arm around her in a vice-grip.
It was just in time – a moment later they both heard a troop of soldiers clanking in the street.
"Check the abandoned houses, the alleys and the nearby sources of water. They could still be in the village," they heard one woman say.
"Two more stops after this and we can return to camp," confirmed another.
Katara's eyes widened. Soldiers! She had to escape, but how?
"Be very quiet," Zuko's lips were to her ear, whispering orders. "Do you understand?"
She nodded quickly; anger and fear warred within her about how to react to him touching her, but for now, they had bigger problems. Zuko swiftly and silently threw Katara's cloak overtop of them, effectively hiding them and making it look like an old tarp had been left in the rubble.
Every muscle she had tightened within Katara at the anticipation of a battle. Couldn't Zuko at least let her loose so she could defend herself?
Another reason the situation bothered her was because of the dreams she'd had since Zuko had joined their group. They'd happened occasionally before he'd joined them, too, but she'd chalked them up to nightmares and stress then. The dreams she had, more and more often now, were… frankly too close to what she was currently doing with him. But with less clothes and lots of candles and occasionally very intimate… noise. The real thing, with the real, hard body behind her, was something more scary than exciting. She didn't know what to do.
"We're hidden behind the rubble, they won't see us if they just peek in quickly and go. We can't move. Do you understand?" The softness of Katara's skin against his neck and cheek tempted him to say more just to stay so close to her, but he held back. The Waterbender in his arms was tighter than a bow and ready to snap. If she didn't calm down, he was worried she'd lose her strength completely. He couldn't risk that.
"You need to relax," he murmured urgently.
Yeah, you try and relax when someone has their arms around you, Katara thought darkly as each word he murmured against her tickled her earlobe. Her insides were in knots of discomfort, and not from the rocky floor. From being held by someone, a man, in such an intimate position was not reassuring to her in the last at that moment. His sword-roughened hand still covered her mouth, though, so she couldn't speak. It was infuriating to be held like a prisoner. And why did a certain dream have to surface itself in her memory so powerfully at that moment?
Not helping, she scolded her subconscious.
"Katara, relax," he insisted, so quietly it was no more than a puff of warm breath down her neck, hearing the soldiers close in. "Don't fight me."
Let me go! She wanted to scream, but couldn't shift enough to glare at him and convey the message.
Exasperated, he heard her breathing getting more ragged as she struggled against him. It wasn't working – the sounds would be too loud if the soldiers stepped into the abandoned building.
Slowly he released the grip he held on her mid-section, hoping it would be enough to calm her.
… And started rubbing his fingertips in a circle over her tummy.
Her sharp intake of breath and the sudden freezing of her body told Zuko all he needed to know.
"Stay still," he whispered, continuing the slow, sensual caress over her belly. "I'll let you go as soon as it's safe, I promise. But we can't move."
The soft words, the promise, and the feeling of his warm hand over the smooth planes of her stomach paralysed her.
From the broken awning at the front of the store, the noise of rubble being shifted and pushed away sounded clearly. The soldiers were getting closer.
Through the cloak's cloth the room grew faintly lighter – someone had brought in a torch to look around, or there were Firebenders in the group.
Zuko stilled his hands; instead he now kneaded Katara's belly, making no sound at all. For her part, Katara kept still and listened as carefully as she could.
"Anything in there?" asked a soldier who'd stayed outside.
"Not that I can see. Hold on, I'll check a bit further back."
The footsteps shuffled closer, tripping a bit on a broken chair leg that stuck out from the wreckage.
The soldier grumbled unhappily.
"Anything?"
"No, just a ruined store. There's nothing back here."
"Come on out, let's catch up with the others…"
Stumbling occasionally on his way out, the soldier passed by within a few feet of the hidden benders.
Behind her, Katara felt Zuko stiffen and shift minutely into a position that would make it easier for him to defend them. The hand over her mouth held fast, but the one on her stomach flattened and hauled her body tightly against his, moulding her to him; she realized he planned to flatten her to the ground and cover her with his own body to protect her if it came down to a fight.
Part of her was incensed he didn't consider her capable of taking care of herself in a confrontation – she was a waterbending master! Another part of her… kind of felt relieved she had someone looking out for her for once.
"Hurry up!" called the female soldier stationed outside.
Fire Nation soldiers always followed orders, and the one investigating the rubble was no exception. He strode purposefully past them and out the entranceway, avoiding the piles of rock and brick strewn across the floor. His footsteps retreated down the road, faded and disappeared.
As he left, the light within the store disappeared.
All was silent again.
Katara tried to shift her head to speak to Zuko, but he still held her close.
"Zuko," she said against the palm of his hand.
"Hmm?" he pulled her back with him as he relaxed back and put his mouth to her ear.
"Letmego," she tried to say, but it was lost in the skin of his palm.
"… Not yet," he said. He wasn't sure why, but he felt he needed to keep her close for a bit yet. He wanted to nibble her earlobes, too…
Katara's eyebrows knit. She was getting too hot from being held so closely under the cloak. Eager to be free again, she struggled a bit, working one of her hands free to pull at the arm he kept across her shoulders and hand at her mouth.
Still, he held on to her; but she managed to pull some of the fingers away from her lips.
"Zuko," she hissed angrily, "let go. They're gone."
He wasn't sure himself why he insisted on holding her now the immediate danger had passed. He knew he should have felt ashamed for holding a girl hostage. He didn't, though. Having her so close had made him feel protective, responsible, like a man.
"Stay close," was all he could think of to say, and clamped his hand down over her mouth again. But he didn't stop there. He pulled her head back slightly, exposing her throat to him as he leaned forward over her shoulder.
His other hand started moving over her stomach again – but there was a change in them, in their purpose… He no longer wished to calm her; he wanted something else.
The sensual movement of his long, capable fingers, warmed by his firebending instincts, played over her shirt slowly, but strongly.
"Jet was your only boyfriend?" he asked, lips moving against her throat instead of her ear. He spoke softly, but wasn't whispering anymore, and she felt the timbre of the words reverberate through him and her everywhere they touched.
His hand still covered her mouth, so she tried to move her head. No, he hadn't been her boyfriend… really. It was complicated.
Zuko moved from her tummy to gently squeeze her sides. The rhythm felt wonderful, but Katara was tired of being someone's captive.
The minute his hand moved away from her stomach it was clear for her to twist away. She contorted herself and was nearly free when he forcefully but gently tilted her head back, moving his hand from her mouth to her neck, just under her chin.
"Zuko," she gasped, trying to take in air to breathe. "Let me go."
"No."
"Now, or I'm going to…" She reached for her waterskin, only to find the familiar pouch was gone.
"You don't need it," said Zuko, knowing exactly what she fumbled to find.
Katara stilled again. Her breathing was ragged, and now she felt more scared of Zuko than she had of the soldier. The soldier had just been doing his job; Zuko… had made things personal. She wasn't ready for 'personal'.
"You need to relax, Katara. You won't meditate, you haven't been to one of your girlie spas with Toph in ages, and you've never had a proper boyfriend. I know what it's like to work so hard, so much you don't know what fun is anymore--."
"I have plenty of fun," she interrupted him curtly.
"Have fun with me, then," he urged softly, and kissed her neck with the gentlest touch of his mouth.
Katara pushed at him, uncertain of whether he was serious or not. "Wow, Zuko, you really know how to make a girl feel special. Or like a personal 'service' floozy."
Frustrated, Zuko shifted his legs to accommodate her more comfortably between them, and hold her against him. A growl rumbled in his throat and he couldn't find the right words to tell her what he wanted, and why.
"Why are you doing this?" She demanded in exasperation, wishing she could bite him. Butterflies in her stomach fluttered at the thought, and she wished she could ignore them. Because she wanted to be mad at him, but couldn't deny that she was a bit excited by the attention and his forcefulness, too.
"Because I want this. I want you, Katara," the words tumbled from his mouth harshly. It embarrassed him to say the words aloud, and he felt the blood rush to his face. Couldn't she have figured it out? He knew he was bad with words. And worse with words that were spoken with girls. "It drives me crazy to see you everyday, not being able to touch you, always fighting with you, thinking and dreaming of you." His hands tightened for a moment, then went slack with the confession. She knew now; why bother hiding the rest? "It wasn't coincidence we ended up together this afternoon. I wanted to stay close to you. I wanted to be beside you."
"Let. Me. Go," his words scared her a bit. He sounded like he meant it, but she didn't know if she could believe him. She … what did she think of him? Oh it didn't matter, he was holding her against her will, wasn't he? Instant jerk status.
"Katara, please stop. I just… Stay with me a bit longer. Please stay with me." He repeated softly, shoulders slumped and a bit defeated; he leaned forward to rest against her, his upper body pressed to her slender back. He tilted and rested his forehead on her shoulder, the lengths of their loose hair mingling when he sighed. He didn't want to hurt her.
"I'm not good at this." He admitted, the words caressing down her back. "But I've learned a lot, from being banished, from travelling with my uncle, from dating a bit," his voice trailed off. "I know I'm bad with words. I'm bad at figuring out what I want."
Katara listened, non-plussed. If he was trying to win her over by saying he didn't know whether or not he wanted her and that he had a record of making bad decisions, he wasn't going to get a very positive reception… And his comment about her being selfish hadn't exactly endeared him to her, earlier.
"That's really none of my business, Zuko, so if you're done playing with my feelings and insulting me--."
"But I found out what friends are when I joined you & the Avatar," he continued, ignoring her. "I see how you and Aang and Toph act; I see how your family acts together, and I see what it means, now, to be friends," his hands relaxed further, and he took his hand down away from her throat. His hands fell to his lap. "I also… I see how Suki and Sokka act… And… I see how Aang looks at you." He pulled away a bit, his body curled and head resting against her back now. "I know what it means," he said huskily.
Katara's heartbeat picked up a beat faster.
"I know, I can see it. I know what he wants with you, from you, Katara."
She swallowed hard, unsure of what to do. It was none of his business. None at all. She knew she was a coward for not having spoken to Aang, for not being clear. She felt... conflicted. She felt uncomfortable with Zuko bringing this up, obviously. But part of her discomfort stemmed from the guilt and self-resentment she felt that she didn't have the guts to admit her own feelings enough to reject Aang's.
Zuko sensed the turmoil within her, and spoke quietly, but clearly.
"I know, and I want it, too." said the prince.
Katara's mouth went dry. Her pulse raced at his confession, and her heart pounded in her chest.
Throughout her body she recognized how close he was to her, physically. The feel of his warm breath down her back; the powerful legs that surrounded her own; the… she blushed, burning crimson… the evidence against her lower back of how she affected him.
"You like me?" she asked, her voice a bit hesitant. Not that he couldn't be lying; but everyone knew Zuko was a terrible liar. She had to be sure of his answer.
He nodded, his hair falling forward and tickling the back of her neck.
"…Yes."
Slowly, he reached his hands up from his lap and settling them around her waist, before moving them down to hold her hips. "I do."
"How long?"
"Hmm?" he asked, a bit shocked.
"How long have you liked me?"
"Oh," he sounded very relieved, Katara thought. He seemed to relax again.
"… Since you flew away with Aang in the North Pole, the first time. I thought I'd be devastated I had to re-start my search for the Avatar… then I realized I was looking forward to it. I've always liked your eyes. And the way you stand up for people. You're strong…"
She nodded to herself; the hands on her hips didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable now… She kind of liked how they felt, a bit possessive of her.
"Oh," she couldn't think of anything to say.
Zuko had confirmed he liked her. She'd… been attracted to him, sure. Be honest, part of her chided. She did like him back. She just didn't admit it because… because…
He stroked her hips once, slowly with his thumbs. Shivers ran down her spine.
Zuko felt the tremors from her body. It made him feel good, to know he was affecting her; more than that. It encouraged him that she wasn't fighting him anymore.
He pulled the cloak down from their heads, and it rested in their shared lap. He smoothed his palm down her leg to rest on top of her knee, then turned it palm-up to bend a soft flame to give them some light. As much as he didn't want to be seen, he needed to see her.
"Katara," he said, raising his head and speaking more clearly. "Do you…"
His heartbeat sped up, too, now; she could feel it through their clothes. Though he'd pulled the cloak away, she felt even warmer.
"Do you want to be with me?"
It was stupid that she hesitated; stupid that she still felt unsure. Stupid that she wanted to say "Yes!", but was scared.
She hated feeling scared.
"You really think I'm strong? And selfish."
"I'm sorry about the selfish part," he said immediately. "And yes, very strong. Determined."
She thought on his words a moment; everything in her told her he was telling the truth. She took a deep breath and hopped on the imaginary tightrope, praying that if there was no safety net, hopefully the ground was made of rubber if she fell.
"Yes," she said quietly, her chin tucked in and her shoulders curled forward, as if to create a protective shell around herself. She'd never felt like a coward until that moment. She took a step on the rope.
"Katara?" he hadn't heard her answer. Worse still, his hands had moved away from her.
"I said, yes. I want to be with you. Too." She ground out and faced him head-on, and wished he'd get her mental message to please put his hands back on her, they were comforting. The tightrope thrummed and wavered under her feet as she held herself steady, waiting for her partner's outstretched hand.
It came as a short burst, but it broke through the tense silence like an explosion. Zuko half-laughed, half-sighed with relief.
"What?" she asked, terrified she'd just been tricked into doing something humiliating. She twisted her head to look at him again, and saw his eyes shining at her.
They were so close she could feel his breath on her cheeks; he could probably feel hers, too.
"Nothing, just…"
"Hmm?"
"This."
He caught her lips with his and kissed her.
One hand returned to her hip to hold her where he wanted her, and the other extinguished its flame to reach up and cup the side of her face.
She couldn't breathe and didn't want to; breathing would mean stopping the incredible rush of fire she felt from her core to her fingertips as they ran through his hair; stopping would mean breaking contact with him when every nerve ending wanted to explode; she didn't want to stop.
"I always wanted to do that," he breathed, and went back to kissing her.
He moved his hand lower, to twist her body around and lift her leg over his so she faced him. It stayed under her leg, squeezing gently as he moaned. The discovery that his feelings were mutual propelled him to be bolder, yet more compassionate.
He brushed a thumb over her flushed cheek and enjoyed the feeling of her smile as they kissed. She was enjoying him; it turned him on, and pushed him further. He felt something within him stir, pulling him closer to her. He wanted to get closer, as close as he could get.
Both Katara's hands were in his hair now, tugging, pulling, running freely through the shaggy, dark mane, surprising even herself with how natural it felt to pet him so wantonly. She felt him take a fistful of her own hair, and it bunched in his fingers as he clenched and bowed under her ministrations.
"That feels good," he said hoarsely when she kneaded part of his scalp. She growled appreciatively in her throat and arched against him when his fingers tickled the back of her ear. How had he known how to do that? How had she known how to touch him? As their breathing became more ragged and their shared urge more intense, they each thrived on drawing out the other's passion, enjoying the instants of awe and pleasure that exploded with each glancing touch.
His hand unclenched from her hair and then unbound it so it flowed down her back. He twisted his fingers in it and pulled her back to expose her neck
She gasped when he trailed the tip of his tongue along her jawline to her ear, and kissed it delicately.
"How does this feel?" he growled in her ear.
Katara choked on her words, as she felt a wave building within her. "It's… ah! It's…ngh!" Zuko smirked triumphantly that he made her feel as out of control as he did.
Her hands roved to his chest and clenched around his tunic, yanking at it when he nuzzled her neck. It felt too good. His shirt opened loosely under her fingers and she touched the warm, smooth planes of his chest. Exploring of their own volition, they traced the muscles and lines he'd defined through hours of training.
She'd loved watching him train shirtless. The little thrills that had crept from her stomach to her lower regions had made her think it was wrong to spy on him or sneak peeks when he'd meditated or practiced, but he did it so casually she stopped worrying about feeling prudish and just enjoyed the view.
She enjoyed the feeling even more.
And she wanted more. Eager to feed her hunger, she pushed open his shirt, down his arms to the floor, and her hands slid inside, every texture and inch an invitation to go further, touch more. She didn't care about right or wrong, she just knew her body wanted only what he could give her. Excitement, passion, heat, the volcano within her core leapt higher and she ignored every word of caution ever lectured at her. The new feelings refused to temper, and for once she wanted to flow, to be just as wild and free as the water she bended. Zuko could give her that freedom.
Zuko broke the kiss momentarily to hiss through his teeth; she had slid her hands down the planes of his torso to his belt-sash, loosening it, reveling in the feel of his warm, smooth skin under her fingertips. Then he grabbed her hips with both hands to sit her on top of his lap. Over his…
"Zuko!" she gasped, breaking the kiss on his neck when he bent his head forward to graze his teeth against the unraveling bindings on chest. Her own shirt had loosened long before, and he nosed away the offending blue garb. A hint of insecurity entered her; over the clothes was one thing, but to be exposed, bare…
"You started it," he said, glancing up at her. She knew he'd looked up by the sound of his voice and the way his breath warmed her neck as opposed to the valley between her…
"Ah!" He undid the sash at the side of her tunic-shirt, and put his hands back on her hips, but on her skin this time.
"It's ok," he murmured softly, and took one of her hands, placing it over his heart. "Just let me know if we go too far." He hoped he sounded confident, that he was masking his uncertainty. He felt awed by how much she'd trusted him so far, and didn't want to lose her trust. Cherishing their intimacy, he prayed he could keep his word. Everything she did felt amazing; everything they shared felt… like it was a sacred, destined path. They were meant to share this journey with each other, together, one step at a time until they leapt from the cliff into the unknown.
Katara nodded and felt reassured by his heartbeat racing under her warm hand; she was warm all over, almost melting. A bead of sweat trailed down her back, and she shivered as he cold air hit her exposed shoulders. Zuko had removed her shirt.
"Come here," he commanded, but she was already leaning forward. They both wanted to start running for the edge of the cliff.
Then his kiss took her break away, and reason with it; she grabbed him, her nails digging into his back while he pulled her closer, closer, and started rocking his hips against hers.
Fire shot through Katara's core at the contact. Yes, she wanted to shout, yes yes yes!
Inhibitions completely dismissed, she fell into a rhythm, and soon matched his. Everything felt right, and the volcano churned inside Katara, preparing her.
As her bindings fell from her chest, Zuko's hands massaged gently up her sides, around her back, and to her shoulders. He pulled her against him, naked chest to chest.
She opened her mouth to him, and he entered her. His tongue traced her lips in welcome as it crossed them, and then moved over her tongue possessively as he plundered her mouth.
They knew the cliff was coming up rapidly and they'd jump soon. Even now they could feel their bodies and chi focusing in their first chakras, begging to be merged and unleashed.
Zuko's internal fire flared and his body warmed to let the excess escape or risk burning them both. He'd heard the stories and warnings about a Firebender's first time, knew there were precautions he should take – to protect them both – but couldn't for the life of him tear himself away to consciously think about anything that wasn't Katara and her pleasure at that very instant in their lives.
The smooth, strong strokes of Katara's tongue meeting his and inviting him to more nearly brought Zuko to his peak, but he held back, not wanting to lose himself in her yet. He released her mouth and kissed down her jaw to her neck, and nipped her collarbone, causing her to gasp. Meanwhile his hands had moved down her shoulders and around to hold the full weight of the mounds on her chest, the pads of his thumbs softly circling their petal-soft nubs. He hadn't dared reach for her like this until now, when she had invited him. She drove him mad with lust.
"Zuko," Katara could hardly breathe, and the wave building within her threatened to crash, the volcano to erupt. She started to rise off him, too sensitive to continue, but Zuko would have none of it. They were at the edge of the cliff.
Grabbing her hips, he grunted and pulled her back down on him forcefully, the pressure of the contact pushing the last of Katara's control.
"I'm, Zuko I'm going to, ah--!," she tried to get him to understand, but words failed her. As the wave crested, about to break, she couldn't help herself; she seized his hips to hold herself in place and bit down on his shoulder to keep from crying out.
He felt her teeth and reveled in the overwhelming pleasure the flicker of pain triggered; he groaned again and squeezed her breasts instinctively. Nothing had ever felt so good.
They grabbed each other's hands, laced their fingers, and…
Katara unraveled.
The sensation was so strong she thought she saw stars blinding her, and the pleasure exploded, rushing through every vein from her core to her heart, and shooting down to her lower regions like fiery lava. She closed her eyes and rode the waves pouring through her, unable to form coherent speech other than Zuko's name. She was surprised she'd survived; she thought for sure she'd died for a tiny moment…
Her soft, strong body bowed and shuddered, and the friction over Zuko's taut trousers did him in with his next breath.
He barely managed to swallow the ball of fire that had risen in his chest to explode from his throat when he felt her release. Her trust, her generosity, her openness with him and willingness to share her vulnerabilities undid him.
Zuko let go, the fire crashing around them but not burning them, their clothes a forgotten tangled mess on the ground, their meager surroundings no longer a hideout but a sanctuary. Relief flooded him, that he hadn't lost himself with her, that he had taken care of her, that he had treated her as a man treats his woman in their shared intimacy. That he'd found such pleasure and felt such an overwhelming urge to join with her awed and frightened him in a way – but for now, she was his and he was hers.
They cried each other's name hoarsely in the darkness, and went.
She fell against him, tremors and aftershocks rippling through her. He collapsed back against the rubble behind him, holding her to him, not caring how the rocks and stones bit into his flesh as they both breathed huskily, hoarsely, to regain themselves. They were spent.
They lay in the dark, holding each other, for a long, quiet time.
They reached the rest of the gang at their campsite close to midnight. Everyone else had arrived safely, and they'd been worried sick about the missing pair.
"You guys look exhausted," said Aang, Momo perched on his shoulder.
"I'm just gonna go have a quick bath in the river," said Katara tiredly. Her eyes still held a hint of what had transpired, and she needed to hide any evidence that may otherwise show up in the morning.
"I'll go when you get back," added Zuko. He definitely looked the worse of the pair. His clothes were rumpled, and it looked like they'd been dragged through the streets…
"Katara could probably do your clothes while she's bathing," offered Sokka, "she'll be waterbending anyway, and--."
"Uh, no thanks," rushed Zuko, crimson tinting his cheeks as he walked towards his tent. "I'll do it myself." He didn't know how she'd react to the evidence of his… reaction. Would she think it gross? Embarrassing? Doubts gnawed at the edges of his male confidence and ego.
"Whatever. If everybody's back, I'm going to sleep," yawned the older Water Tribe sibling. He and Aang went back to their sleeping bags at Appa's feet, and were asleep and snoring within minutes.
Katara picked up her bathing supplies and towel, and glanced around the site. Everyone else was fast asleep.
She waited until Zuko stepped out of his tent, and smiled at him warmly.
He smiled back, restored.
Together they walked hand in hand to the riverbank to wash.
The End.
AN: Enormous thanks to beta kirschreich, who reviewed this entire document for me (twice!) as my beta. Also to pal loveroftheflame for all her help & support!
AN: … and please forgive me for the clichés! For my first lemon, I hope I didn't abuse them tooooo badly.
/first posted June 21st 2008. mm