[A/N:] I was going to post the Logan POV section as a separate one-shot, but it did fit quite nicely at the beginning of this chapter...

Thanks to Jeanniebird for betaing Elise POV and Rainy for betaing Logan POV

Chapter 11: Recovering

Part 1: Logan POV "Savior"

Logan!

The psychic knock on the door forces me awake.

What, Chuck?

Elise is attempting suicide and I will not be able to reach her in time.

Fuck!

I will meet you in the medlab.

I jump outta bed and run down the hall. In no time I'm at her room. Her door is locked, so I break the lock with a claw.

Inside I see a shit ton of empty booze bottles. My nose is assaulted by the scent of blood and despair. The shower's running. Elise's limp and bloodied body is inside. She's still bleeding from the wound kept open by her fingers as evidenced by the swirls of diluted blood going into the shower drain. Her skin is covered in worsening burns from the scalding water. I shut off the shower and pull her out.

Fear sinks its talons inta me.

I'm too late. She ain't got a pulse. She lies completely still on the floor I put her on.

I do chest compressions in hopes it will help.

This is my fault. If I hadn't yelled at her earlier, maybe she'd be okay.

We have a better chance of restarting her heart downstairs. Hurry!

Don't need to be told twice. I scoop up her lifeless body and rush for the elevator. On the ride down, I notice her lips have turned a pale blue.

I run into the medlab and place her on a bed. Hank and Xavier are already there.

I look away when Hank lifts her shirt to put the heart monitor diodes on. The monitor screeches the flatline we already knew about.

"What could I've possibly done to get stuck with you?"

Is that really gonna be the last thing I say to her?

I wish I could take it back. It was just a stupid prank, shouldn't've been worth bothering over. Certainly not worth this.

I look up momentarily to see Hank stab a large syringe into her heart. Xavier is hooking up a clear liquid drip to her intact arm.

The heart monitor starts beeping slowly at first, but very soon becomes rapid. The whole room sighs with relief.

Elise groans and starts moving around. I jump up to help.

Shinkt.

Out come her claws, all ten of 'em. I hold her wrists down.

"Charles," Hank says warily.

Chuck nods and places a hand to Elise's temple. Immediately her claws retract and she's as limp as a ragdoll. I let go of her wrists.

Now that the immediate crisis is over, Hank and Chuck work quickly to close and bandage her gaping wounds. There isn't much they can do for her burnt skin, which has started to blister.

She starts shivering. Hank says something about that much blood loss and burns making it hard for her to regulate body temp. He grabs a stack of blankets from a closet and lays them over her. Her hair's still soaked, too.

After a while, Hank says, "This is all we can do."

"Is she gonna be okay?" I ask.

Hank nods with a weary smile, "Yes. Her healing factor is working again. It may take some time for her to fully recover, but physically she will be in peak condition." He yawns, "Now, if I may take leave, that would be greatly appreciated."

"Of course, Hank," Chuck says.

The medlab doors swoosh open and shut as Hank makes his exit.

Physically. He specified physically.

I mean, I guess everyone in the room knows she's fucked up in the head. Both of us are. But is he sayin' she's gonna flip out like this again?

She almost died tonight. Actually, technically she did die – at least for a few minutes. Who's to say the next attempt won't do her in for good?

I almost lost my sister 'fore I got ta know her, and it's my fault. I put my head in my hands.

"Logan, do not blame yourself."

"Yeah? What else am I s'posed to do, then? I said some inexcusable shit to her, didn't bother to check on her the rest of the day, then find out the middle of the night she's just tried to off herself. And almost succeeded!"

"She has been severely depressed for a long time. If anything, opening old wounds relating to her time at the Weapon X facility was to blame."

I remember the other night when she had the nightmare. How she held on to me as if her life depended on it. Just the memory of the scent of her raw, all-consuming terror has me a little worked up.

"Chuck, how bad was it for her?" I ask.

He sighs, "Your experiences, while very similar, are incomparable."

"Y'ain't answered my question," I growl. "How bad was it?"

"If you must know, I will give you a brief overview. While she never experienced the same adamantium bonding process you experienced, she remembers nearly every moment of the torture with vivid clarity. She was fully conscious for most of the experiments. Rather than even attempting to give her sedatives or any sort of pain killers, the experimenters physically restrained her and drugged her with muscle relaxants so she couldn't move."

I'm shocked, repulsed, and furious at the same time. I feel sick. I'm completely speechless. If those monsters weren't already dead, I would hunt them down in a heartbeat.

"And another thing I believe you should know: while attempting escape, she found you, but was unable to help you escape, so she voluntarily stayed. She refused to leave you."

That comes as more of a shock than anything else.

"She- she what?"

"In case you were wondering how much she cared – and still cares – for you, there is your answer."

I look over to her still body on the bed. Her color is starting to return.

I don't know what she sees in me, but surely I ain't worth that steep a price.

She starts to stir and groans.

I go up to her, "Elise?"

Her heavy eyelids slowly lift. Her face is expressionless, save for a slight furrow in her brow. She still looks very out of it.

After a moment, Chuck says, "You'll need to stay under observation for the night."

"What?" She asks, voice dry and cracking. I can smell fear and desperation wafting offa her. Tears well up in her eyes.

"Why can't I just go back to my room?" She asks.

Are you kidding me? Even if he caves, I ain't about ta let you leave my sight.

"It isn't safe for you to be left alone tonight. You've proven that already. Logan will stay down here with you and we will talk in the morning. Try to get some rest."

You're damn right I will.

Try to talk with her, if you can.

Already planning on doing that. Though, she don't look like she'll be awake much longer.

"Good night," Chuck says, and leaves.

It takes a while and a lot of silence for me to work up the guts to ask, "Whydja try ta kill yourself?"

She frowns and looks away. Guilt mixes with her scent.

I shift in my seat, about to admit something embarrassing. But if it has the chance of helping her, I owe her that much, "If it makes ya feel any better, I've felt like that before, too. Just wanted to end it."

Shit. I can see her expression weakly contort into pain.

I put my hand on hers and continue, "But this place – people like us can have a purpose here. It helps those feelings ta be able to help people, feel like you made a difference for the better."

She smiles as tears start to stream down her face, "Thanks."

I nod, smile gently, and brush some stray hairs outta her face.

Her expression flattens and her eyelids droop. "I'm really tired," she whispers.

Nonchalantly, I say, "Yeah. Losin' that much blood'll do that to ya. Get some sleep."

"Okay, James," She says as her eyelids fall completely.

"G'night, sis."

Part 2: Elise POV "Little Talks"

Lights're too bright. Feel stiff. Mouth's dry.

"Hnnng?" I groan. So hard to open my eyes n' talk.

"Elise?"

James? He's here! I muster the strength to open my eyes.

I almost cry from how wrong I am. I'm in the medlab, bandages covering my arm and throat. I'm under a lot of blankets and my hair's still soaked. Logan's sitting next to the bed. Xavier ain't too far away, either.

I failed. I can't even do something as simple as dying.

"You'll need to stay under observation for the night," Xavier says. No doubt he just heard what I was thinking.

"What?" I cry. "Why can't I just go back to my room?"

"It isn't safe for you to be left alone tonight. You've proven that already. Logan will stay down here with you and we will talk in the morning. Try to get some rest."

Like I'm gonna be able to rest here.

"Good night," Professor says, and leaves.

It's silent again for a long while. All except for that wretched heart monitor.

"Whydja try ta kill yourself?" He asks suddenly.

Because I'm a coward who wants the endless pain to stop. I ain't strong enough.

I can't answer, the words are stuck in my throat. Can't even look at him.

He shifts in his seat after waiting another moment for me to answer, "If it makes ya feel any better, I've felt like that before, too. Just wanted to end it."

Somehow, hearing him say that makes me feel a little worse He may be dead already but I don't think I can stomach my brother dying again.

I think he senses my grief because he puts a hand on mine.

"But this place – people like us can have a purpose here. It helps those feelings ta be able to help people, feel like you made a difference for the better."

I guess that's all I want now. A purpose. To feel like my life is worth something more than this pain.

My defenses already down, I can't stop the stream of tears.

"Thanks," I say.

He nods, and smiles a little. He brushes some strands of hair out of my face.

"I'm really tired," I whisper. My eyes're getting heavy and I can feel myself getting sucked into a familiar healing coma.

"Yeah. Losin' that much blood'll do that to ya. Get some sleep."

"Okay, James," I say as I drift off to unconsciousness.

~ooOoo~

I wake up in the medlab again, not that I really expected anything different.

It really doesn't help that I had another nightmare. Or five. Thankfully things aren't broken this time, I guess.

"Good morning, Elise," Professor Xavier says.

Logan leaves when Xavier comes in.

"Now," he says. "We can stay down here and talk, and I can ask someone to bring you down breakfast, or we can talk in my office."

Is that an actual question? Of course I wanna get outta here! Being down here really freaks me out and it sure as hell didn't help with the nightmares.

"Your office," I say.

"Very well. There are some clean clothes in the locker room if you'd like."

"Thanks."

I hop up outta the bed and head over to the locker room. Soon as I open the door there's a set of clothes – t-shirt and some sweat pants as well as a set of my underthings – on the bench. From the smell I can tell Rogue put 'em out. Hafta thank her later.

I change and then we head upstairs for breakfast.

The elevator ride is awkward. We don't really talk, and I think he can sense that I don't really want to.

We slide into the kitchen for breakfast. I don't really eat much of my eggs since I'm still feeling nauseous from nightmares and being down in the medlab. My stomach protests anyway.

More food, it says.

Shut up, I say.

Soon as we're done, we head over to his office. He starts askin' questions soon as I shut the door.

"How are you feeling this morning?"

I shrug, "Dunno."

"Fair enough," he says. "Did you sleep well?"

"I slept like a baby."

"That's good," He smiles, thinking I'm finished.

I continue, "Fitfully and waking up screaming every two hours."

"Ah. I see," he trails off. "Are you still having thoughts of suicide?"

"No."

Not at the moment at least. Still wanna just die, but don't have the motivation to try to do it to myself anymore.

Besides, fuck the medlab.

"Are you sure?"

I glare at him, "Positive."

Gonna make me pinky swear next? I already said I wasn't gonna off myself. Jeez. Just let it go already.

"Would you like to talk about it?" he asks.

"No."

"What about Logan?"

"What about him?" I ask.

"Would you like to talk about him?"

"No."

"What would you like to talk about, then?"

"I guess… I kinda wanna talk about my nightmares and why I have 'em. They've really been bothering me extra lately."

"Fair enough," he says and settles back to listen to me talk.