Ok so this chapter should have been up like two days ago. I THOUGHT I sent it to my proofreader, then yesterday I realized I didn't….so yea, I had a dumb moment….Lol anyways, I hope this makes up for the previous chapter.
My knees dropped to the floor. No, no, no, no. This can't be. I'm not crazy. They were both there. My body began trembling. Why was she here? I remember her corpse…it was gone, dead, it should be underground now decaying. But His, I wasn't awake to see him dead. What if he wasn't dead?
"Dude, Eliiiii" Fitz called out playfully. "Not again" He added, his tone of voice changing from joyful to anxiousness. I felt his footsteps shaking beneath me, as he ran over to me.
"Bro, you need to breath…ok. –Hey you, get the doctor" He said to a random student walking by. I grasped Fitz's arm, my grip tightening.
"No, don't" I pleaded. My breathing hitching even more, hyperventilation consuming my lungs, and blackness evolved. I was reliving the most fateful events of my life.
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I was again, in the school hospital, sitting at the edge of the hospital bed. Fitz brought me here himself, luckily I hadn't passed out.
.
A stinging beam of ray flashed my eyes. The doctor held the flashlight back and forth over my pupils. He turned the flashlight off and put it back into his pocket. He turned to Fitz who was still accompanying me.
"Mark, when would you say was his last…attack?" Asked Dr. Warren.
"I would say mid July. About three months after the death" Fitz assured him.
Dr. Warren seemed to be taking notes, and wrote on a clipboard he held. "And, what exactly happened now?"
"Don't really know. I just saw him on the floor. He was like, shaking and breathing uncontrollably"
The doctor scrunched his eyebrows together, very pensive and nodded his head. He looked at me briefly and went to scribbling on his clipboard again.
"Where's Clare?" I finally broke out. Tired of the annoying conversation they were having about me. I just wanted to talk to Clare; Make things right.
"What did she do to you?" Fitz growled.
"Ah, . I'll call her down now" Mr. Warren responded to my question, and headed out.
I continued to stare blankly at the endless white colored floor. "Bro, I-I keep seeing him." My hands began trembling. The room became silent, and Fitz gaped at me. He looked at me like he knew something. He looked down at the floor and shoved his hands into his pocket.
"Adam…told me what happened the other day." I shot up and glared at him. Damn Adam, can't keep his mouth shut.
"Yea and…he's lying" I yelled back, ripping the paper off of the hospital bed angrily. Fitz snarled.
Before he could respond, the door creaked open, and Clare appeared. Her eyes were puffy, but she looked concerned. "Clare" I said, calming down. I ran to her and hugged her; she didn't give into the hug which disappointed me. Once I pulled back I looked at her. "Baby, I'm sorry about-"
"I'm not here to discuss about that situation. You wanted me here?" She stated bluntly. I gulped, feeling a tense lump in my throat. I walked over to the hospital bed and sat down, Clare doing the same sitting adjacent to me.
"That night…in the car. I saw someone…K.C, actually. And-and I thought I was crazy so I tried to forget about it" I sighed, at the difficulty of talking about this. My eyes locked on to her eyes, my body quivering from nervousness.
"S-so, when we got back to the mansion, and I pushed you away. It was because…" I hesitated to continue. "Because he was standing behind you"
Clare's features changed to an indescribable expression; her eyes gleaming with concern.
"And…Julia…I dreamed Him and Julia were in my room." I looked down, feeling odd about my confession. I felt insane, like out of my mind when the words were coming out of my mouth.
"Have, you ever heard of Post traumatic stress disorder?" She asked. I nodded.
"Yea, I was diagnosed with it after Julia's death. I healed over the months, and the symptoms were claimed to be gone." I responded confidently.
"I remember, Eli, you were having nightmares of her. I stood by his side like everyday, and even stood over a ton of times to make sure he was ok. It wasn't the greatest time for him…" Fitz jumped up; he was still in the room.
"Did you ever hallucinate like you are now?" She asked. I didn't like the sound of that word. It made me feel like I was mad or high or something.
"Never…and I think K.C is still alive"
Clare put her small soft palms over mine. "No, he's…dead. My parents attended his funeral" she said painfully. I sighed in content; relief, the guilt finally, and slowly pouring out of my mind.
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
So I have PTSD. It's not serious as it was a few weeks back. The only time they appeared after that was in my sleep, and I hated it. It reminded me of Freddy Cougar, which I'm sure you know scares the living caveman out of me. I guess this was the real aftermath of Julia, and K.C's death. I had to take some time off from school to rest, and calm my nerves. I've also been prescribed Trazadone, a depression pill to help me sleep.
Third week of lying in my dorm, bored, dreading the loneliness; It may not seem like an awful lot of time. No more of these so called 'hallucinations' or 'unconscious hallucinations'. But still, the only real thing that was keeping my grip and not letting go of the edge of that cliff was Clare. I still don't know where we stand, relationship wise, and it was slowly killing me. I wanted-needed to find out who told her, why I did what I did, and why I lied. Clare out of all people should understand, right?
I tossed the burden of covers off from my body, and decided to hose away all of my contemplation with a shower. After, I went down into the lobby to lounge around. As expected no one was around, everyone was probably in class. I walk up and turn on the big plasma television, and put on something interesting to watch, then sat on the couch to relax. I stared lifelessly at the television, watching a ridiculous reality T.V show on VH1; appalled at how animalistic human kind can be. I was actually amused that people embarrass themselves on national television like that.
As I was being sucked into the digital motion picture, I sensed a presence towering next to me; and a hand on my shoulder. I flinched at the contact and found it to be no one other than the licentious Bianca Dee Sousa. Her puffy face and dark brown eyes stared into mine. I grew incense and quickly turned away from her.
"You're still acting like this?" she complained.
I shrugged my shoulders, not needing this unnecessary encounter. Of course, prior to the other unnecessary encounter I had with her a while back. She huffed and sat next to me.
"Hard to get eh? Well, I know you won't be able to resist for long, because I just can't seem to resist you. Eli, you left my mouth watering for more." She whispered seductively near my ear. I gasped, revulsion over came, and I nearly vomited in my throat. This girl sickens me. Such a pretty looking girl, with such sickening pride.
Irritated I move over away from her, not making any eye contact with her.
She began to laugh. "What's the matter? Clare giving you a hard time?" She mocked.
I pinned my eyebrows together. How the hell would she know if I'm having difficulties with Clare? "That's not any of your concern now is it?" I coarse back.
I felt her shuffle around. "It might as well be, now that she knows…"
In disbelief, I snap my head rapidly to look at her. "You told her!"
She shook her head. "I didn't have to. She figured it out herself after a very discreet rumor got out."
I squint my eyes at her. I wished that just for one minute she had a **, so I could break her face…
I stand up, and begin walking away. I glance back at her "You know…you're a nasty **."
The features on her face absorb from smug to scornful. She opened her jaw about to speak, but I dash out from the room before she can make a comeback, or start ** at me.
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
Friday, I had an appointment with Dr. Warren to check up on me. It was exactly a week before New Years, and I was feeling nowhere at ease. I sat in the depressive white room of the school medical care room. I sigh and Dr. Warren almost immediately enters.
"Good Afternoon Elijah, Good to see you doing better"
I lift both my eyebrows up and faintly smile. "Yeah, I've been a lot better."
He nodded pleasingly. "So how have you been sleeping?"
He asked, and I answered him in all honesty. After that, more questions followed up about me. After about ten minutes of interrogation, he finally set me free, and said I can get back to my normal routine. He just said I had another subsequent checkup next month, and he will be in contact with me at all times. Joy.
But I shouldn't be so pessimistic about it. After all he did allow me to get back to my normal life, and he did prescribe me those helpful depression pills.
After the appointment, I make my way though the main corridor, where I bump into Fitz.
"Dude this sucks, I'm on probation again" He whined.
I smirk, "What'd you do now?"
"Violate my previous probation…" I look at him confoundedly amused. Old Fitzy boy…
"And how does that make any sense?" I chuckled.
"I dunno…I'm in more deep shit"
I rolled my eyes and patted his back. We turn and continue walking down the main corridor all the way to the lobby to take a seat.
"How's Saint Clare workin' out for ya?" He asked.
I sigh, and ache at the reminder of her. "She hates me. Some douche let her in on my regretful hook up with Bianca."
Fitz's face contorted as if he was in pain, but really he was sympathizing. "That sucks."
"What do I do?" I asked desperately.
"I dunno man…I'm not really good with this stuff. When I hurt a girl, I usually take off before things escalate" He confessed. I mentally slap myself for asking the wrong person
for advice. I guess I'll have to figure it out for myself.
The weekend flew by, and I was anxious to get to art class. I was in English, and I felt eyes piercing the back of my head. I feel warm air hit my neck "I'm happy to see you back in Class" I shudder at her soft familiar voice. She was still so sweet and caring. I wanted to turn around and kiss her, make her mine, and apologize helplessly.
"Thanks" I replied
"Miss Edwards, . Would you like to share what's so important that you have to interrupt my teaching? Because you both aren't perfect writers" Ms. Dawes bitched. I always thought she needed to like get laid or something. That could explain her stuck up attitude.
"How about you stop worrying so much on teaching us about writing, and actually allow us to write, and you can help us improve our writing, instead of being such a stuck up bitch"
I widen my eyes and turn around at Clare's sudden reaction. Everyone in the room gasps, no one's ever spoken back to Ms. Dawes. Did I ever mention Clare didn't like authority?
surprisingly had no smart-alec comeback. She angrily pointed towards the door, signaling Clare to leave. I turned around to the beautiful rebel I loved. She had a smug grin on her face, which I found oddly adorable. She grabbed her belongings, and cheerily made her way out.
The class went on slowly until it was finally over and I rushed to art class; as soon as I arrived, there were still a few minutes to spare before class started. Mr. Pierre was in the room, so I went over to him.
"Afternoon sir." I smiled.
"Ah! Elijah, it's good to see you again. Your artistic presence was sorely missed." He said kindly.
I tilted my head agreeing. "Your wall is still empty…so I was wondering if I could-"
Mr. Pierre clasped his hands together gleefully interrupting me. "Of course! You may do the honors. Aaaaand for being the first person to paint on my wall, you may take up a larger amount of space" He patted me on the back. "You can get working on it as soon as possible."
I internally jumped around like a little girl. I pulled out my sketchbook, and opened to my brief sketch of her. I grab some big jugs of paint, and different sized brushes. I walked to the lifeless blank wall with my materials.
About an hour into the class, I was deliberately swishing my arms back and forth with such zeal. Outlining everything carefully, and perfectly; dropping a brush every once in a while into paint, or to change the brush. My movements were rapid but precise. I even felt sweat forming at the line of my forehead. I finally stopped when class was almost over. The portrait wasn't complete, and I was not satisfied.
The next day, I was anxious to get to art again to finish my masterpiece. I made it to class early, and got painting right away. I, again, was tending the brush against the wall with such assiduousness; my mind generally on Clare.
15 minutes before class
I dropped the brush, and wiped my forehead. Surely knowing I rubbed some paint on my face. I covered all the jugs of paint and brought the paint brushes to the sink and drowned them in hot water.
"Mr. Goldworthy, please explain to the class why you took the time to, create this fine work of art, and paint her onto my mural?"
I laughed at his over excited-ness. He seems to favorite me. I turn around and lean against the sink which was still running. I cross my arms over my chest as I look to gaze at my work. "She, redeemed me…forever" Was my only explanation. And either way, Mr. Pierre was pleased with my reference.
After class I merely ran to the performing Arts studios and went to Clare's usual dance studio. Fortunately she was there, and I was upbeat. My heart pounded when she picked up her bag, and our eyes met. She slyly looked around and hesitantly made her way over to me.
"Hey…"
"Hey" My voice cracked.
I cleared my throat "So uh, I have something to show you…"
She lifted her eyebrow in confusion.
"Please, Clare…" I said, trying not to give off the impression of being needy.
She gave in and I walked her to Mr. Pierre's class room. I stopped her in front of the door. "Ok so on the first wall you see…I painted something. I worked brutally fast on it. And I did it for a reason."
She continued to give me an odd look, before I finally stepped aside and she walked in. I watched her every emotion, and expression. I hope it's not creepy. But her jaw dropped in fascination. Like when a child see's a magic trick being done for the first time, and they're allured. She gawked at it for a while more before exiting the room slowly. I frown and grab her arm.
"You don't like it?" I asked concerned.
"Of course not" I drop my head in disappointment.
"I absolutely love it." My disappointment quickly faded away. "But…why?"
I laughed. Is she clueless? "Why? Clare Diana Edwards, I fucking love you! I want everyone to see the most stunning girl in this school. And so every time I walk in that class room, you're always there with me."
She smiled wholeheartedly at my rant. I couldn't control myself. I crashed my lips against her, needy, passionately. Her lips consuming my every will power and weakening me. I quickly pulled back from the swift loving kiss to gaze into her blue orbs. I drop my hands to my side, as the space between us expands.
What did you think? So, ya the next chapter is going to be the last. Thanks for all of the amazing reviews. I will be starting a nw fic, which I've been working on. It's going to be dark, and romantic. Very different. So keep your yes out for it.
Also again thanks to my proofreader EclareTheLovers.
6 reviews = UPDATE!