((SXH: Hey guys! Like I put in the last chapter, I'm going to post as many chapters as I can. I hope you all liked that other chapter, I don't know since I haven't got much feedback on it yet. Anyway, enough of my talking. This is chapter eleven, the one that starts some angst and more twists in the story. I hope you will enjoy this story enough to stay tune for more. Also, don't forget to tell me what you think! Enjoy!))
Warning: This will contain some angst and cursing.
Disclaimer: I no own. I only own the story line and Little Ying.
Enjoy!
To Hell & Back Again
Chapter 11: To Chi Bi part IV
Zhou Yu went to the river. He looked up at the cloudless sky, marveling at the stars. It reminded him of how Sun Ce always compared his eyes to it. He did not mind the compliments, but Ce always went overboard with them. Normally, he would have to hit him to make him stop. Yu preferred it if he saved the compliments for more private moments instead of on the battlefield. But other than that, it reminded him of something else. It reminded him of Little Ying's eyes.
He shook his head away from those thoughts. He was back home with his beloved. Yu was no longer going to go on anymore little 'adventures' unless they are with the Wu army. All he wanted to do was stay with Ce and no one else. Surely, he will be spending the next few months in Ce's bedchambers just to get used to being back with Wu and reacquainting with Ce.
Speaking of that, this time felt different. He hardly felt the pure love like he usually did, but no matter how hard he tried to pin it on his being away, he just couldn't. Yu felt... used for no reason at all. He couldn't think of a single thing that would make this time any less lovely than all the others. Why is it I cannot feel the same as back then? I do not understand! ... Wait. It cannot be. Do I not love Ce anymore?
Yu shook his head again but the sorrow picked up in him too quickly to shake off. Before he knew it, he was crying silently to himself. Something about their love making didn't seem like it should. When he thought about it, he had to force his love through their kisses. Tonight, it had only felt like sex with nothing in it at all. But Zhou Yu could have sworn that he felt Ce's love. This only made him feel worse. Ce showed him his love but he didn't feel the same. He felt so empty and guilty... He sat down at the edge of the water, not bothering to look at his reflection.
Zhou Yu wiped his eyes. He sensed someone approaching so he put up his guard. He turned to see who it was. He was surprised to see it was Zhuge Liang.
"Lord Zhuge Liang, what brings you out here at this time of night?" Zhou Yu asked, not realizing that his face was still tear streaked. Zhuge Liang took it upon himself to take a seat next to him.
"Many reasons, actually," he replied. "The bright full moon, the cloudless night... Getting banished from my tent by my wife." Zhou Yu couldn't help but laugh at that.
"Never thought you to be the one to crack jokes," Zhou Yu smiled.
"I am not," Zhuge Liang stated bluntly. Zhou Yu laughed again. "Although, when I think about it, it is a little funny."
"Yes, it is," Zhou Yu replied, looking at the full moon.
"There is another reason, too," Zhuge Liang spoke. "I could not help but see a sad soul crying by the river." Zhou Yu looked at Zhuge Liang questioningly. "Might I ask what ails you?" Yu looked back at the moon. His feelings of emptiness came back in full.
"I do not know if I should talk about it with you," Yu stated, looking away. "After what you did and all..."
"I am willing to swear to secrecy," Zhuge Liang informed. Yu turned to stare at him again.
"Really?" Yu said. He wouldn't want to believe it for a moment. Especially after what the man had done.
"You make it sound as though you do not trust me. I am terribly hurt, Zhou Yu," Zhuge Liang replied. Yu sighed. I have to tell someone. If I do not it will only hurt worse later on...
"Alright," Yu said. Yu took his time before he began to tell Zhuge Liang. The pain welled up to the point that he had to say something. He had no idea what was coming out of his mouth though. "I know this may sound terrible but I do not think I can be around Ce anymore. What is bad is that I know he loves me more than the world itself but, now that I am back, I just don't feel the same. I never thought I would feel like I used Ce before... I just felt nothing there anymore..." Once Yu realized what he had said, he covered his mouth. He could not believe that he had told Zhuge Liang about Ce and himself!
As if reading his mind, Zhuge Liang said, "Do not worry. I already know." Yu stared at the man in horror. "My wife could tell by the way you two looked at each other."
"That is some wife you have," Zhou Yu grumbled, not caring that he spoke in slang.
"Yes. I met her after Xiao Qiao died," Zhuge Liang informed.
"I do not recall ever thanking you for that," Yu commented. Liang laughed a little.
"Just a moment ago you sounded mad that it ever happened. Why would you thank me?"
"Without you, Xiao Qiao would have never shown her true colors," Yu stated simply. "I never believed she could cause me such heart-break." There was silence between the two. Zhuge Liang seemed quieter than usual. "Is something wrong?" Zhuge Liang just nodded. He seemed very uneasy about speaking.
"Zhou Yu, please do not get angry with my questions," he said, then looked Yu directly in the eye. "Are you sure you do not love Ce?"
"What? Of course, I love him but tonight just felt-"
"Like there was nothing to it," Zhuge Liang finished. Zhou Yu hesitated to speak.
"Like I said, I do love him," Zhou Yu tried.
"I have no doubt about that, Zhou Yu. But I think you have misinterpreted tonight. If you love him and something is missing, would not it only be sensible that the feelings are beginning on the other end of this couple?" Zhuge Liang asked. Yu's brow furrowed.
"I do not understand what you mean?" Liang just sighed tired again.
"Zhou Yu... Please, do not be angry at the bringer of bad news," he spoke.
"Zhuge Liang? What are you talking about?" Yu inquired. Liang bit his lip. That was something Zhou Yu had never seen.
"I do not wish to be the bringer a sorrow, but I also do not wish you to be unhappy with this life," Liang said.
"I am starting to highly dislike your cryptic ways, Zhuge Liang," Yu warned, glaring at the man. Zhuge Liang looked up at the sky while fanning himself.
"Before I tell you, I must know something," Zhuge Liang informed. Yu looked at the shimmering river, waiting for the question. "You said you did not escape. I do not doubt that but..." Liang looked at Zhou Yu with sincere eyes. "Did you want to leave?" Zhou Yu wanted to look at him and say 'yes', but he found that he couldn't.
"Honestly, I don't think I did," Zhou Yu said without thinking. "I grew to like it there. Not once do I recall ever wishing to leave when I got settled."
"Then leave," Zhuge Liang said suddenly. Zhou Yu stared at the man in shock.
"What?!" Zhou Yu bellowed. "I cannot! I just arrived; I cannot leave Wu again to fend for itself-"
"Believe me they are doing just fine by themselves. They are able to manage without you - barely, but none the less, they can, " Zhuge Liang spoke. Zhou Yu felt only a little hurt by that. It damaged his pride but it hurt only a little.
"What about Sun Ce?" Zhou Yu asked. "He and I have been good friends since we were children! I cannot walk away from him." Zhou Yu stood up and took about five steps before Zhuge Liang spoke again.
"Even thought he walked away from you?" he inquired. Zhou Yu stopped and whipped around to look at the man.
"What are you talking about, you cryptic man?!" Zhou Yu yelled. "He has never walked away from me! He stayed loyal and even kept my things." Zhuge Liang gave him a very sympathetic look.
"Zhou Yu," Zhuge Liang said slowly. "It was Sun Ce who first thought of the possibility you were dead. He said so himself that if had not returned within two weeks, you were more than likely de-"
"No! That cannot be true. He kept my things in case he found me one day!" Zhou Yu whispered his argument. New tears were brimming in his eyes. Zhuge Liang knew this was going to end badly. He stood up to where he was eye level with Yu.
"No, he is not. He has been giving them away," Zhuge Liang said. "He has been giving your things to others that he has slept with." He touched Yu's shoulder; the poor man was shaking. Zhuge Liang believed it to be out of sorrow.
"You liar!" Yu screamed. Zhuge Liang was apparently wrong as he felt the full force of Zhou Yu's fist connecting with his jaw. He stumbled a few feet away from Zhou Yu. It was just enough space for Yu to turn tail and run far away from him.
Zhou Yu ran away very quickly. Once he thought he was far enough away, he stopped. He had managed to hold back tears but only just. There was no way he would let himself listen to Zhuge Liang's lies (not with his history anyway). All he needed right now was silence. But... if that was the case... then why was he heading to Lu Xun's tent instead of Sun Ce's? He didn't know.
He soon found himself at Lu Xun's tent. He was about to ask to come in when he heard someone else speak.
"Lu Xun, that hair comb looks nice on you. Where did you get it?" The voice sounded like Lu Meng.
"I know it looks nice... Sun Ce gave it to me," Lu Xun replied. Yu instantly did not like where this was going. "I suppose that since Lord Zhou Yu is back, I will have to give it back to him." The words cut through Zhou Yu worse than a sword ever could.
"No. You do not have to," Zhou Yu spoke up, opening the tent flap. One look at Lu Xun and Yu knew that he had put it on wrong.
"Lord Zhou Yu! I had no idea you were out there," Lu Xun said in a panicked voice.
"I'm sorry. I was walking past and could not help but overhear the conversation," Zhou Yu smiled. "Here, let me fix that." Lu Xun let him take the hair comb and fix it as best he could. "It is much easier when one has long hair," Zhou Yu smiled, though it did not touch his eyes.
"Are you sure? I am not sure I could take this from you, Lord Zhou Yu," Lu Xun confessed. Zhou Yu shook his head, while trying to fix the hair piece.
"It is fine. Think of it as a gift," Zhou Yu said. While he finished, a small tear slid down his face. It was the hair piece that Ce had given him when they got together. It was simple really, the work on it made it look like an actual spider-lily. Now that he thought back upon it, he realized that he had given his deceased wife the same hair comb...
"Lord Zhou Yu," Lu Meng piped up. "Is something wrong?" Yu quickly wiped the tar away.
"No. I have just now realized a few things I should have seen sooner," Yu answered with a sad smile. Lu Meng got what he meant immediately. He put a hand on Yu's shoulder.
"Good to hear," Lu Meng murmured and shoved him toward the door. "Now, get out of here. You've got a long life ahead of you. Do not let us slow you down and keep you from your real happiness." Lu Xun looked back and forth from them, completely confused. Yu only nodded to Lu Meng and went out the door.
"May our paths cross again," Yu said before he left.
He made his way back to where Zhuge Liang and him spoke last. He prepared to apologize in full. When he arrived back at that spot, he saw Zhuge Liang was sitting on the river's banks. When he drew closer, he sat a few feet away from Liang. Zhuge Liang didn't even look back at him.
"You have a very mean left hook, you know?" Yu drew his knees up to his chest.
"Sorry about that," Yu replied. Zhuge Liang only laughed.
"Do not be... I actually kind of deserved it." Yu gawked at the man like he was crazy. "I did say it too bluntly. I could have asked you if any of your things were missing or something similar to that." The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes.
"I am leaving," Yu whispered. "Lu Meng knew it before I even said it. Though, I do not want anyone else to know until I am gone..."
"I believe I could live with that," Zhuge Liang replied. "I will inform them of your decision. Should I give reasoning?"
"Give some hints. Do not say it out loud," Yu asked. "Most of Wu already knows." Zhuge Liang nodded. He couldn't imagine the pain the young man was going through right about now. "There's also another thing."
"Hmm?"
"Diao Chan is trying to make an alliance with Wei. She brought me along for some unknown reasons," Zhou Yu explained. "When a scout mentioned the Shu troops, she ordered me to be tied up. She thought I would sick you of them like you all were dogs." Zhuge Liang laughed.
"Let me guess. You do not want us to attack them, do you?" he asked, still laughing lightly. Yu shook his head. "Alright. We will not attack them. Though, I hope they clear out before the attack."
"Me as well," Yu replied. The two sat there for a while in a comfortable silence. "I will leave now. I think I'm ready."
"Go then," Zhuge Liang said. "The road you have chosen will be difficult to handle at times, but you will find happiness at the end of it." The Shu strategist pointed to a trail that led in the direction of Diao's camp. "Go on. Do not let me stop you!" Zhou Yu nodded to him.
"Thank you," Zhou Yu said before running into that direction. Some saw him but they did not stop him. Zhuge Liang stared off into the direction Yu had run off.
"Zhou Yu, you may just find more than happiness at the end of that road..." he murmured. "May we meet again someday."
"I am sure you two will meet again," said a voice from behind him. Zhuge Liang knew exactly who it was. There was only one person in the world who could catch him off his guard.
"Why do I get the feeling that you sent me out here instead of kicking me out here, Yue Ying?" he asked.
"That is because I did," she responded, walking up to stand next to him. "He will be fine."
"How do you know?" he asked.
"It is a woman's intuition," she replied. "I still find it hard to believe that he thought he did not love Sun Ce..."
"You know, I tried to convince him that it was Sun Ce that did not love him... I guess it turned out that me and him were both right," Zhuge Liang went on. "He really did not love Sun Ce and Sun Ce really did not love him... He was trying to fool himself into thinking that he still loved Ce tonight..." There was a moment of silence."Well, I do not think that he did," Zhang Liao said. His wife gave him a questioning look. "Everytime he said that he loved Sun Ce, something in his eyes said otherwise. I think he did love Sun Ce at some point; he just did not know he fell for someone else along the way." Yue Ying smiled at her husband.
"I wonder who that is..." she mumbled to herself.
Diao was furious. Things were not going her way at all. Gou Si had let Zhou Yu escape. ESCAPE! She continued to scream at him until her lungs hurt. Then she just took her whip out and lashed him a couple of times. Now what was she going to give the Wei lord?
"This is all your fault, Gou Si! You are lucky I was merciful and let you live," Diao scowled.
"Diao, calm down," Liao said bitterly. "Who needs him anyway? It is not like he was worth something." Liao had mainly been talking to himself at that point.
"I did need him! I was going to offer him to Cao Cao or his son Cao Pi!" Diao yelled. Diao stopped her ranting when the bushes started to move. Liao got his spear ready to attack.
The bushes moved more until a familiar face. Zhou Yu came out of the bushes, looking particularly sad.
SXH: *sniffles* I hate this chapter a lot... I don't like writing sad things...
Lu Bu: *growls to himself*
Zhang Liao: *growls with Lu Bu*
Zhou Yu: I agree it was very sad... *hears Lu Bu and Zhang Liao* What in the world are you two growling about?
Zhang Liao: I can't believe that Sun Ce would ever treat someone like you, Zhou Yu, like an easily replaceable toy.
Lu Bu: *growls louder*
Zhou Yu: ...
SXH: Aaaaawwwww! Looks like Big Bwother is being a little over protective~! *is sitting on his shoulder*
Zhou Yu: The reasoning escapes me...
Zhang Liao: If this was ever true, I would have to kill him...
SXH: Well, enough with the brooding! You know the drill guys!
Everyone: We all hope you enjoyed this little plot twist and stick around for more! Tell us what you think my leaving a REVIEW! Stay awesome guys!
Bye~!