Lucaya; rating T; I do not own Girl Meets World

"Oh my God would you two get a room!?" Maya exclaimed slapping her lunch tray on the table. As always, Riley's face turned bright red as she stared at Farkle who had a smug grin on his face.

"I think you're just jealous Maya." Farkle smirked, throwing an arm around Riley, kissing her cheek.

"You Farkle, oh Farklestien, are so unbelievably right," she threw on her theater voice, placing a hand on her forehead, "I am horribly jealous." She motioned gagging herself as the lunch table laughed.

She flicked her eyes to Lucas, who was laughing probably the hardest of the five. The year had just begun and she was still on such weird terms with Lucas. She didn't want things to be so weird, she wanted them to be easy. They just weren't.

•••

"Hey Maya, you have a sec?" Lucas asked, stopping her after lunch.

Her big blue eyes made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. She possessed that certain innocent look that made him uneasy.

"Yeah, of course, what's up?" He could hear the sense of urgency in her voice.

"Jack Smith just invited me to his house this weekend, I was wondering if you'd want to come?" He could see her eyes searching his face to make sure he wasn't yanking her chain.

"You know I'm always up for a party." She had the slight sparkle in her eye that Lucas could never forget. He only saw it sometimes, only when she was really passionate about something.

"Then it's a date." He said smiling his flirtatious smile. He watched as she raised her eyebrow and placed her hands on her hips.

"You know how I feel about the word date. We promised we wouldn't do this." She whispered, tightening her face with every syllable. She took one look before turning around.

"Oh Pancakes, wait." He pleaded, regretting the name he had called her. He saw her whole body freeze, back still turned to him.

"Lucas, you don't get it do you?" She huffed spinning around. "We can never be anything more than friends, do I need to remind you of junior year all over again?" Her eyes were dark and cold, which sent a shiver up his spine.

"No, I remember." He whispered, squeezing his eyes shut to suppress the memories. "I promise it won't be like that."

"I want to believe you." She looked around in the hallway as other students passed. The class bell rang, leaving only Lucas and Maya in the corridor. "We'll talk about this at my house, okay? Tonight at 6?"

"I'll see you then," he wanted to pull her into his usual hug and plant a kiss on the top of her forehead, but those days were over and as to Maya, those days were over forever.

•••

She was getting her paint set out when she heard knocking. She looked to the window to see just the evening sunset. Her doorknob turned and Lucas appeared. A small piece of her broke. In all the years they had been friends, even more, he'd never come through the door, only the window.

"Hey," she said trying to smile. She pushed her hair out of her face and stood up. She brushed off some of the paint chips from her jeans.

"Hey," he replied standing at the doorway. She looked around, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Um," she gulped feeling more awkward than any other situation she had ever been in, "you can come in." Her faced burned in awkwardness and anger. She didn't want things to be like this with him, especially going into their senior year.

He blinked several times before walking in. She was picking up a couple of paint bottles when she froze. He was peeling off his dark blue sweatshirt. She tried to look away as his shirt road up, revealing his toned body. The memories started to flood back.

"Happy two-month anniversary Maya!" He gave her a small kiss and revealed a thin box behind his back. She was careful to open it up and was struck in awe with what it contained.

"Lucas you shouldn't have," her face burned as she held up the necklace that shined a beautiful green stone.

"Do you like it?" She could feel his eyes search her face.

"Do I like it?" She laughed, "I love it. It matches your eyes. It's the thing I love the most about you." She said. She handed him the necklace, turning around so he could put the new jewel around her neck.

"You love?" He whispered, almost to scared to say anything.

Maya whirled around, opening her mouth and shutting it.

"I..." She took a deep breath, a new sense of courage shot through her, "I love you Lucas." She looked up at him with her big blue eyes, preparing herself for his answer.

He grinned, pulling his arms around her waist. Goosebumps consumed her as his hands found the underneath of her shirt.

"I love you too Maya Penelope Hart." He leaned forward, crashing his lips into hers. She gripped his arm right above the elbow, consuming him. This hadn't been their first make out, but Maya knew something had changed.

She felt Lucas's tongue glide across her bottom lip and she easily allowed access. He proceeded to trace his hands down her waist to her butt stopping at her legs, where he hoisted her up, carrying her to his bed. Gently, he laid her down, softly kissing her neck. She couldn't resist any longer, she let her hands wander his body, tugging at his shirt. He looked at her, pulling back and throwing off his shirt. She just stared, running her hand over his perfectly toned abs.

"Umm Maya is everything okay?" Lucas asked waving a hand in front of her face. Nervous, she let go of the paints and jolted back to herself. The lid on the green paint busted open as it hit the wood flooring and started to seep everywhere.

"Oh God," she shrieked as she grabbed paper towel and started mopping up the paint. Lucas bent down, cleaning it up as well.

"Cmon Maya, everyone know Riley's suppose to be the klutz."

"Whatever," she smiled rolling her eyes. Lucas stood up first, helping Maya get to her feet.

"Thanks." She said staring at the ground trying to keep herself from looking at him. She tried to keep her self-control intact, but every instinct was telling her to be with him. He walked over to her trash can and discarded all the freshly greened paper towel.

Lucas was about to say something when Maya interrupted him.

"I don't think I can do this!"

•••

"I can leave-" Lucas began to say motioning the door.

"No." Maya whispered, "I mean, I just..." She took a deep breath and he watched as she raked her hand through her blonde hair. It hurt that she wouldn't meet his eyes. They just scanned the room trying to hold on to something, anything.

"This is just really hard for me," she whispered plopping down on her bed.

"What's so hard about talking-" he began again.

"It's hard being around you, seeing you Lucas." She curled her lips, shutting her eyes.

Lucas walked over, sitting next to Maya. He heard her release the breath she had been holding. He felt the crinkle of the mattress springs and he knew his heart had picked up its pace.

Don't think of it, not now he told himself. He clenched his fists, praying to keep himself together.

"Maya, please talk to me." He saw loose strands shake as she sharply shook her head no. "Maya please."

His heart broke as he saw her body begin to shake slightly. She finally turned toward him with red eyes, pain consumed her face.

"What do you want me to say? Do you want an apology or time to yell at me? Isn't this humiliation enough?" She peeped through several hiccups and tears.

"Maya..." His hand came up to her cheek brushing tears away. He took the leap of faith and pulled her to him, resting his chin on her head. She buried her face in his chest sobbing. He gently grazed his fingers up and down her back, doing his best to relax her.

He pulled back, placing his hands on her shoulders. All her makeup was smeared and she lazily wiped most of it off with the back of her hand.

"I don't think we should be friends Lucas. This is all just to much for me." Maya whispered meeting his green eyes.

"Pancakes- Maya, you can't keep pushing me away."

"I don't want to, but every time I see you, I think of him." She spit out. His whole body tightened. Poison was flooding through his veins.

"You don't mean that."

"But I do," she shook her head trying to even convince herself, "I do Lucas." He gulped, deep down knowing she was lying.

"You're only saying that to make me angry, right? You're trying to give me a reason to hate you?"

"Is it working?" She said quietly, rolling her fingers in her hand.

"Pancakes, I was never mad at you. It's him who should be feeling this utter darkness, not you." She kept her lips thin as he spoke.

"Lucas, he got you suspended. I don't remember much, but I remember your face when you saw us. Please just go."

"Maya-"

"Just go Lucas okay-"

"I still love you Maya, okay? And that has never changed." He heard her gulp and watched as her fragile head shifted left and right. Tears began streaming now down her face.

"And I still love you Lucas." She sobbed. "But I just can't forgive myself."

"There is nothing to forgive Maya, you did nothing wrong. It was him, he took advantage of you, luckily he didn't take more."

"Because of you." She said softly. "And that took away your reputation at school."

He lifted her chin with his hand, meeting her gaze.

"I don't care about that Maya, I care about you. And I would punch him a million more times to ensure your safety. None of that was your fault Maya." He gently stroked her arm. Suddenly she jerked away.

"You just don't get it Friar, every time you touch me, it only reminds me of him. I feel..." She paused, "dirty." Her voiced cracked, letting out another sob.

"Telling me what I can do."

"You can leave."

"If that's what you want."

"It's not what I want, it's what I need."

•••

"Hey," Lucas said sweetly, leaning against Maya's locker, "are we still on for this weekend?" She nodded quickly, blood rushing to her face. She loved seeing Lucas until the little voice in the back of her mind reminded her of everything that happened.

She had spent the entire night painting, remembering the beautiful Texas sky for inspiration. She heard three knocks on her window and without turning, motioning to come in.

"Lucas, wait until you see- Oh." She gulped. It had been months since she had seen him. "What are you doing here?" She asked firmly, shifting her art supplies to the ground.

"What, not happy to see me?" He asked with his normal gorgeous smile, "you used to love seeing me."

"Actually, I'm waiting for Lucas, my boyfriend. You can leave now." She said standing her ground, pointing towards the door. She tried to place her phone in the room and silently cursed knowing her mother wasn't home.

"I think I might stay awhile, it gives us time to catch up." He took a step closer to Maya. She knew her heart was beating. She had always liked him, it was fact, but he was never more than a crush, a fantasy. Her eyes darted to his lips, her only mistake.

"I think... think you should leave." She stuttered, flicking her gaze to his eyes.

"Not yet..." He smirked, leaning in and catching her lips. Her 13 year old self would have been jumping for joy, enjoying this moment, but she had changed and this was different.

He pushed her back onto her bed, all her paint brushes carelessly falling of the bed. She shoved him hard once off of her, but he stayed strong and in control. The creaks from the bed made her pray to God help was coming. It was instances like this she truly believed.

She shoved one last time, breaking just enough to see another face. Her heart shattered.

"Lucas..." She croaked.

"Get the hell off her." Lucas yelled, grabbing the collar of his shirt and sending a punch right to his face. Maya sunk to the ground, crying reaching out to Lucas to stop. Lucas growled one last time before he got lost.

"Oh my God Maya are you okay?" She pulled her knees to herself looking straight ahead. She stayed silent.

"He knew he would get to me, and I let him in. How could I be so stupid?" Maya exclaimed banging her head on her knees.

"Maya, this wasn't your fault."

"Lucas, just go okay? I want to be alone."

"Maya are you okay?" She came to senses, grabbing his hand that was waving in her face. "You looked like you were going to get sick."

"Yeah, I'm okay, I'm ready for the party."

•••

She had been nervous. It was the first time since that incident, Maya and Lucas would be together and maybe even alone. She knew she shouldn't have pushed Lucas away last year and comforted him when the boy told the police that he was badly beaten by Lucas. On top of that, the police didn't believe her side to take charges on either.

She showed up in front of Jack Smith's house holding her hand ready to knock. She knew Lucas was waiting for her on the inside. She swallowed the lump telling her to stop and knocked the magic three times.

"Hey, Maya! Glad you could make it, the party hasn't been the same without you!" Jack smiled, letting her in. "Friar is probably in the kitchen."

"Thanks Jack."

She looked around, finally making it to the kitchen. She fumbled with the green jewel around her neck until she finally found its matching eyes.

Lucas pushed through a couple of people to get to Maya.

"You look great," he complimented, leaning down and planting a kiss on her cheek. This time, she didn't think of him, only of the warmth Lucas's lips brought to her body.

"Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself." She replied taking a long look at him. Jeans and a tee that hugged his body in all the right ways.

"Do you want something to drink?" She nodded her head and was surprised when his hand found hers to guide her through all the people. This small connection between them two was overflowing for her. It had been months since the slightest touch and she started to feel... started to feel clean again.

•••

Maya didn't drink anything but water. Not that was what she had planned, but Lucas only brought her tap water.

"If you've forgotten, I'm still your moral compass, you know that right?" He said looking down at her.

"Alright Moral Compass, use your actual intended skills and lead me home."

They had left the party around midnight, taking the long way home. When they reached the pavement, Maya softly slid her hand into Lucas, silently telling him it's okay.

"I still never figured out why you pushed me away." He said glancing down at her, breaking the ice.

"I thought you wouldn't want me anymore..." She ended in a whisper.

"How could you ever think that?"

"I don't know, I just figured that you wouldn't believe me." She said sharply stopping them in front of her apartment building.

"I always believe you Maya, there is not instant where I wouldn't. Yeah, when I first saw you two kissing, I thought it was the end of the world, that you went back to him. But soon enough I realized everything was one-sided and you wanted out. If that's not enough proof you didn't want him kissing you, I don't know what is."

She stayed quiet, searching the ground.

"Maya," tilting her chin up to his face, "I will love you until the stars stop burning, but I will still give you space if you need it."

He felt her hand move up his arm.

"Stay."