"I lo-I love you."
"Quite right, too. And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it… Rose Tyler, I-"
This was it.
I had the chance to say it.
And I was going to.
But…
Everything happened in a flash. I was at the bay, looking at her. Her tears streaming down her red cheeks. And then, back to the TARDIS. Alone. No Rose. No Jackie. Nobody.
I hate myself for not saying it quickly enough. I hate her for telling me that. Of course she loves me. I'm loveable. I know she loves me. I know I love her. Hell, she knows I do. She knows everything about us. And I just… I just hate her.
She shouldn't have told me. I wouldn't have to be forced to say the same. Besides, it was uncalled for, I think. Maybe she didn't want me to think that she doesn't love me? But… I knew. I know she loves me. She always has.
I still get angry sometimes; whenever I think of this. I don't know why. It's just a memory I'd rather not think of. But I have to. For this.
This was the day Rose Tyler died. She died at Canary Wharf. Along with hundreds of others. Both Rose and Jackie were transferred to Pete's world. Pete, in the original universe, was dead. In Pete's world, Jackie was the one that died. It was perfect. Rose, Jackie, and Pete. All together in one world.
But Rose didn't like it. She wanted to stay with me. Go on adventures with me. That wasn't possible anymore. This was the end of her time-traveling days.
…
It didn't stop her.
I got to see her one last time. This was the time. Last I was with her, we were holding on for dear life. I gave her a goodbye. Maybe not one she wanted. It wasn't one I wanted either. But it was a goodbye. I burnt a sun just to do that. I forced a sun to burn out to say bye to Rose Tyler. I'm crazy. Absolutely crazy. Just a crazy fool in love. Still, she got her farewell. That was the best I could do.
I think I don't need to go further into this. It's so obvious. Our last goodbye. Heartfelt. An exchange of confessions that we already knew about.
I don't know why I'm still writing this entry. You know the story. Or, kind of. Doesn't matter. Don't want to go into details about this. I need to find an ending to this. I don't want to feel this… pain. I don't want to say goodbye like that again. I don't want to see her cry again. I want to see Rose happy. Smiling. As she should be.
Nobody looks good when they're crying. Not even beautiful Rose. To the people that have stumbled on this… whatever this thing is, keep on smiling. Don't cry. Don't say "I love you" to people you care about because they already know. Instead, give them a hug. A kiss. Or if you can't - like in my case - tell them why you love them.
I still have a lot of reasons why I love Rose Tyler. After all, I burnt a sun to see her again.