Forgive, Forget, For Love

I slumped into the airplane chair completely exhausted before pulling myself upright glancing up to Shamal who was my consigliere or adviser handed me some reports in six folders. I asked, "Where?"

"From Russia, Mexico, Europe, Africa, Asia, and America." This was how my normal routine started, and with a cup of coffee I looked over the files that my Mare members from all over the world gave to me. Every single member that was affiliated with the Mares in every country had at least written a five page report on daily activities, shipments, and whether or not that saw Masaru Kurosaki. Shamal offered to stay and look at half of the files, but I refused, "Shamal this is my duty as the Mare Decimo. This is what I can at least do. Could you please get me another cup of coffee?"

"No, you need to sleep. Better yet you need to eat, what did you eat for breakfast today?"

"Shamal I had a bagel and I still have to go through Europe, and I can't do that without another cup of coffee." I protested.

"Haru Mare, you are literally breaking yourself over this. You can finish this when we reach the hotel I'll have Katharine and Nathan send these files over to the hotel room, and when you get some food in your stomach." I opened my mouth to protest when Shamal threatened me, "Do you want me to inject you with another sedative?"

Quickly I shook my head while cursing mentally at Shamal even though he was just looking out for me, he had to bring up the needles, and like a child I hated needles! Reluctantly, I reached to get the blanket hat international airplanes provided and with a hefty sigh I looked out the clouds drifting in the air. It's been one year… Should I go and see him? I thought before shaking off that thought that hope. There's no way that he'll want to see me… He must be thinking that I'm a hypocrite, a liar, and a heart breaker… I shook my head. I can't be thinking about him now, maybe later but not now. I have to focus. I pulled out some specialized pills that I had Shamal made me from my purse, and took two of them with some water. A few moments later I felt drowsy then closed my eyes, and let the recollections of this past year come back to me.

I had arrived at the villa four days after my encounter with Masaru Kurosaki, and I was now in a chaotic meeting with the famiglias affiliated with the Mares. The bosses were now suspicious of my identity even overlooking that fact the resemblance of me with my mother. Finally I had enough of their whining and protests.

"SHUT UP!" I shouted before they went quiet. Relieved I sighed as I unbuttoned the top two buttons of my blouse, letting the cold air brush against the silver chain that hung the orange jeweled ring around my neck. I hadn't gotten used to wearing the ring on my finger so I chained it against my neck. All protests stopped at the sight of the forgotten ring. I slammed my hands against the hard wooden dinner table with a glare with cause the bosses to jolt visibly in surprise. "Now I want you all to listen to me."

Hesitantly they looked at one another before giving me a curt nod. I closed my eyes for split second. Gomen ne, mama. What I'm about to do goes against everything you did it to protect me to this world, but like Tsuna said….It's not simple to that, once you're born into the mafia world, you can't back out, it's your birthright whether that person want to or not.

I looked at each and every mafia member there as I spoke, "I hereby declare the Mare famiglias revival right here. No longer will you have to hide behind mediocre famiglias, and if you help me… Together we'll bring down the one person who caused my parents death, Masaru Kurosaki."

Chatter erupted at the mention of his name, and I faintly heard one of the bosses ask, "Where's your proof? Masaru Kurosaki has been pronounced dead like your father!"

"Then how do you explain this?" Shamal handed me the pictures and reports an Masaru Kurosaki's activities till he disappeared that night on Tsuna's birthday. Up until now he had been doing illegal business with minor famiglias, and somehow managed to get a reign on the Sangue Falco's. I grabbed the pictures and reports before tossing it to the naïve mafia bosses in front of me. They grew silent; it had seemed that the tension in the room was the only thing I could decipher at the moment. One the boss's closest to me, a young blonde man who had no doubt been appointed as the boss of his family a few months ago got up and kneeled to me then said, "I, Calhan de Lourve the fifth, swear my allegiance to Haru Mare, the rightful boss of the Mares. Every dollar I own will go to you, every bullet that is aimed to you will have to go through mine first, and every ounce of sweat from my body will now go to finding and destroying Masaru Kurosaki, and serving a beautiful woman such as yourself."

With that last part he winked as I nodded before turning to the rest of the awestruck bosses. "You can walk out now boys…. or swear you allegiance to me right here and you don't have to do it in that cocky fashion that Calhan did here."

Not one single boss walked out on that meeting, till I did to get some rest and prepare for the next day knowing that I would be very busy taking the reins of a family that had been cold for over a decade.

It was when Shamal and I arrived in New York City months later. We were in a luxury hotel room with a large queen sized bed that I was currently residing in, a couch, a table, a mini fridge, a closet, and a bathroom with a bathtub. I was asleep when a loud bang caused me to jump from my comfortable lying down position in the couch. I reached out for my pistol hidden in the in between the couch pillows and the couch's mainframe. The door was broken open that caused my shoulders to tense, my eyes to search for anything that wasn't supposed to be there which I did find quickly, and I snarled not happy with the fool interrupted my sleep. "CALHAN DE LOUVRE THE FIFTH, WHAT THE HELL! I TOLD YOU NOT TO DISTRUB ME!"

Calhan backed away to the door while stammering, "I do apologize, but-"

"BUT WHAT?" A woman needed her rest after all so I did have the right to be pissed off especially at three in the morning.

"Nathan and Katharine are at it again." I slapped my hand against my head knowing the two spitfires that I had recently got them to join me were disagreeable with each other all the time this was just another one of their fights. I got up untying the knot that held together my silk robe before pulling my robe sides inward and retying it again. "Who started it?"

"I'm not sure. By the time I got there they had already pulled out their pistols, and knives. And I must say I do love the nightgown you have there, mademoiselle. Very appealing I must say. " I sighed before pointing to the door.

"Go get Shamal, cause by the time I'm done with them he'll need to fix them." Calhan nodded as I hurried out of the hotel not pleased with the behavior I saw once I reached the lobby room. Couches were toppled over along with wooden tables, chairs torn to wood chips, and no staff member in sight. If I wasn't a mafia boss I would have thought a tornado had came through the place. Luckily this hotel was owned by Calhan's mother, so we wouldn't have to worry about the other guest and staff, what I did have to worry about was the cost of the repairs it was going to take to fix the lobby. In the center of the mess were two arguing members of my guardians. I tuned out their arguing and went up to them, I took a deep breath, and then I shouted, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU TWO THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

The two jumped and turned to me completely unaware that I had been standing there for the past five minutes. "Haru-sama!"

"Ojou-sama!"

Fear plainly visible on their faces as I snapped, "I'M NOT GOING TO ASK AGAIN!"

Flinching Katharine was the first to reply, "Well we arguing then Nathan here pull out his guns and I took out my knives and," the raven haired woman gestured to the mess with a hand. "that's how the lobby ended up-"

"I DIDN'T MEAN WHAT CAUSE THE STUPID MESS, I MEANT WHY THE HELL YOU" I jabbed my finger to Nathan, "AND YOU," I pointed to Katharine "WERE CAUSING A DISTRUBANCE AT THREE IN THE MORNING AND HAD TO HAVE CALHAN WAKE ME UP!"

"We were fighting about who would have shotgun next time in the car." mumbled Nathan as I turned around with my hand out which connected to his cheek, then I glared at Katharine with my other hand ready to slap her too, but my rationalism cause me and my furious rage to stop. I raised my hand towards Katharine and placed it on her head; she shut her eyes while flinching as I sighed knowing I couldn't be that mad for long. I said calmly struggling to not let my anger consume me, "For the next 24 hours you're going to help Shamal with his work, and the repairs for this lobby will come out of your paychecks, report to Calhan who will make you two watch Barney for three hours strapped to a chair, and don't even think about trying to escape that Calhan will find you. The hours will increase for every minute you make him wait so don't be late."

Ignoring their whines of protest I went back to the elevator. Leaning against the wall I rubbed my temples for a few minutes before smiling. I ran into Calhan on the way back, and told him my orders for Nathan and Katharine. Just as I was about to go past him to my room the fair haired man gently grasped my wrist causing me to halt in my tracks. "Haru, I-"

"Calhan, don't." I knew it was coming to that point. The two of us had spent a lot of time together during these past months, gathering members, saving each other from bullets and poisons, but I didn't share his feelings. "I have someone else."

When I said that he let go, and I turned around to face him, "I'm sorry Calhan."

Calhan raised his brow, "Why are you apologizing? That isn't like you. If it's anyone's fault it would be mine, mademoiselle."

"People can't help, but fall in love with another, Calhan. Love is complicated, that's all there is to it." He nodded before I went back to my room. Click. I leaned against the wooden door slowly sliding down to the ground. I felt like crying, but there were no salty tears running down my cheeks. The only tears I would shed would be for him, not anyone else, but Sawada Tsunayoshi.

I sat quietly while inspecting my nails wearily before glancing up to the two nervous Sangue Falco members in front of me asking, "How much longer?"

"T-the boss will be here in a few more minutes, Ms. Mare… Would you like me to get you another bubble tea?" said the scrawny brown haired man who was no doubt nervous because of my sudden arrival, and when I mean by arrival would be bombing their door with Calhan, Shamal, and Katharine at my side. Boy that was fun and the adrenaline was still running high inside my body, but I merely shook my head chewing a few more tapioca balls that was in my strawberry bubble tea that I had bought with me to the Sangue Falco's headquarters. The scrawny Sangue Falco member's expression changed from nervousness to relief. That could only mean…

"Your gang is a collective bunch I'll give you that. From street performers to bank robbers, you sure know how to pick them, Kyle." I said as Kyle went past me and sat in his chair saying stiffly, "Hello, Haru Mare. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"To talk in private with you." I glanced towards Shamal and the others who nodded before leaving the room, Kyle did the same. Once we were alone, I said, "How's Liz doing?"

The sandy haired man narrowed his eyes, "How did you-"

"She's my friend it's only natural. That's also the reason why you got that black eye that you're covering with makeup from one of the guards I assigned to protect her." He froze as I commented, "There was a reason why I came here today, and it isn't about Liz although we can talk about her later. I'm here to get information about Masaru Kurosaki."

"Well if you have information about me dating Liz then there's not much to tell. He came to us well me and wanted me to join him. At first I thought he was joking, but when he showed me everything about my past life, and family. I had no choice but to join him. It wasn't till that Neo Vongola Primo's birthday did he stop all contact with me and my fellow Sangue Falco members… Does Liz know yet?"

"No, does she know about you?" Kyle shook his head. "Do you plan to tell her?"

"One day, when will you?"

"Once I see her… in private."

"How about we make a contract?"

"Contract?"

"In exchange for me releasing the guards from Liz for six hours every day so that you can see her you swear your allegiance to me."

"Deal." Said Kyle immediately as I smiled, "Good if you try to backstab me or make Liz cry… I will make your life a living hell."

He shuddered visible which satisfied me before I got up and suggested, "You should buy her some lilies those are her favorite."

After a few hours we landed back into the city of Verona Italy. Shamal got me a hotel room despite his pleads to just get back to my apartment, but I won't budge. He handed me the key card to the hotel room as I told him that I signed the lease over to Liz who I was on my way to go see now to do just that. I walked down that familiar streets feeling nostalgic about coming back to this city. Once I reached the bakery I reached out to the front door of my bakery. Time to face the music. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

Nothing had changed inside; the décor was still the same along with the tables and chairs. I heard Liz's familiar voice, "Welcom- HARU?"

I turned away from the old radio that the two of us bought at an antique store, and smiled, "Hi Liz."

We stood there for what seemed like hours, but only mere seconds before she went over the counter and hugged me. "You fucking idiot, where have you been?"

"I'm back, Liz." I wrapped my arms around her then pulled back with a grin plastered on my face, "Mind if I eat while I talk? I'm starving."

Liz nodded before getting out four of every sweet from the cupboard. I took shrugged off my jacket and placing it over the chair as Liz bought in the tray of sweets and tea. That's when I started to talk I told her that I had been traveling around the world had to get help to find someone… someone important, and it took a long time. When she asked why I didn't call her I replied, "I had a lot of paperwork and reports to review. I stay up until three in the morning just to read over those reports, and someone is supposed to bring some more over once I get back to the hotel."

"Is this person that you're looking for is important to you? More important than Tsuna?" I froze at the mention of his name.

"In a way… Yes, but that doesn't mean I don't think about Tsuna from time to time…" I reached for the folder that had my apartment's lease in it, and placed it on the table, "This is for you."

Liz threw me a questioning glance from turning the folder cover and read through the lease, then looked up at me, "Haru…"

"You did say you always wanted to live my apartment, and I have the apartment's rent already paid for the next year and half. All I need is one euro from you."

"Why- how- what?" she sputtered absolutely flabbergasted then looked on the second page and saw the price that I had just said. Her eyes widened. I said, "Think of this as a compensation for me not being here for a year."

"Are you sure?" I nodded, "I won't be going back there anytime soon."

"Why? Don't tell me you're going to out the country again!"

"No. No. It's just I have a lot of work to now, and… One day I'll tell you everything as soon as I find that person." Liz nibbled on her lip then went to the kitchen. She came back with a blue pen and signed the lease and handed me one euro. "Haru… Just be safe okay?"

"I will, so how are things going with you and Kyle?" We talked for more than an hour catching up on what happened during the past year.

"Shamal, you're here." stated Tsuna as Shamal went up to his desk.

"This is the key to the hotel we're staying in. You'll find her there." Shamal handed Tsuna a key card as Tsuna looked up in confusion, and he saw what was reflected in the doctor's eyes, desperation.

"Who?"

"Do you really need to ask?"

"Yes. I've got work to do, and I don't have time for your guessing games." said Tsuna

"Spring, Tsuna. Spring." Haru. "How do you know-"

"Look I'm her adviser. Now take the damn key card." The Vongola boss hesitantly took the key card while Shamal instructed him to dress as one of the concierges.

"Why?" asked Tsuna who thought it was weird since he was just going to visit her.

"If she sees you then well she might just jump out of the window literally," Tsuna flinched at the thought, "Does she really doesn't want to see me that badly?"

"Yep, Haru told me, and I'm directly quoting her: 'I refuse to see him until after I finish what I started' is what she declared," Shamal sighed, "so could you please go to her? You'll see for yourself why I gave you that. Also I'll have to introduce to her formally of course you know the rules, does a dinner birthday party sound good?"

"Of course. Shamal… Thank you for giving me this."

"You're welcome she should be in the hotel room, she sent me a text just before I came in here. Now go get her, Tsuna."

As soon as Shamal left Tsuna pushed away from his desk glancing down to the brown haired man under his desk, "Is this really necessary, Ryu-san?"

"Yes it is, they believe I'm dead so I can't just pop up in your office walking and talking am I right?" replied Ryu before getting out of Tsuna's desk and crossing his arms and pouting like a 5 year old child, "And I thought I told you to call me 'father'!"

"Well that would be awkward seeing as how my father is still alive, and I prefer to call you that, Ryu-san."

"But you still have to ask Haru to marry you." reminded Ryu, which cause Tsuna to wonder if this was the Ryu Mare that decimated drug dealers for a living during his younger days.

"She's busy, and so am I." said Tsuna shuffled his folders on his desk as Ryu sat across from him.

"That doesn't mean you can't see her." Tsuna stiffened, "You heard Shamal she doesn't want to see me, and I'm just respecting her wishes by not going."

"Is respecting her wishes what you really want?"

"Yes, this is as much I can give her at this moment."

"You love her don't you?" pressed on Ryu, and Tsuna answered honestly, "I do, Ryu-san."

"Then go to that hotel room, and make some babies!"

"RYU-SAN!"

Click. The electronic lock lights went green when I swiped the key card into the electronic lock, I twisted the knob, and the door swung open. I walked into the room admiring the qualities of a presidential suite. Shamal sure knows how to pick them. I mused before putting my stuff down, turned my heel to the bathroom and went to take a nice hot shower. An hour later I got out put on a red nightgown and I looked out the window seeing the sunset before glancing to the hotel phone. Picking it up I dialed for room service then ordered two bottle of wine ready to drink myself drunk to fall asleep along with some chocolate covered strawberries. Within in a few minutes someone from room service knocked on the door and I cleared my throat then said, "Come in."

The door opened and in came in a man wearing the hotel's orange concierge outfit and had on a hat so I couldn't see what his hair was like, but I didn't care I wanted my wine. The concierge came in with a cart and on it were my two bottles of red wine, and a bowl of chocolate covered strawberries. I licked my lips before I got up from the bed covered with papers and the chair next to the table that was nearby the balcony, and gestured for the concierge to set the wine and strawberries there. While he popped the bottles of red wine open I went to get the wine glass. Just as he was about to leave I said, "Wait."

He stopped as I swirled at the glass of wine. "Will you stay and listen for a minute? I'll tip you real good."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw him nodded silently taking a place next to me.

"I…" I started unsure where to start. "I know this guy, who's sweet, kind, and he's the best thing that ever happened to me. You see he saved me from falling into a river, and fate just happened to make us bump into one another after that. We dated for like a few months, till someone in my past came up, and forced me to reveal my entire past life as the daughter of two noble and shady parents from two different backgrounds and killed them just for the position I have right now."

I consumed another glass before drinking out from the bottle, "I was held captive by that same filthy bastard that ripped up my normalcy and my favorite dress, and was about to," I took a deep breath then drank the wine from its bottle "rape me, but before he could do that my boyfriend or well ex-boyfriend is more appropriate now. He busted the door open, and I managed to untie myself, and I did what any person in my nature would. I tried to destroy my captor who got away then ran away from the person I still love. Now I'm back to finish what I started."

"So why don't you go to the person that you love?" asked the concierge. His voice it sounds familiar… That hair under that hat... Ah I see now... but how'd he get a key card? More importantly how'd he get that outfit?

I answered, "Honestly I'm scared. I'm scared to face him in person because he might think that our relationship was just a lie, and I can't bear to his anger directed to me." I coughed out a laugh before glancing to him noticing his build. Just like Tsuna… But I can't help, but hope. "I'm weak. A weak woman who was hiding from her weakness, I just all I can hope for is that he'll forgive me for all the lies and hope we could… oh I don't know… Start over? Maybe I'm hoping for too much… all I want him to know is that I love him, and always will."

"…Can I go now?" I nodded, "Go ahead. Hey. What's your name?"

"…Tuna." replied the concierge before putting the empty bottles and bowl onto the tray. I smiled before handing him a hundred euro bill, "That's a nice name, Tuna-kun."

When he closed the door I mumbled knowing for sure who he was after that obvious slip up, "Well thanks for listening... Tsuna."

I stumbled over to my bed, and fell head first into the soft comfy bed letting the alcohol do its work, knowing that I need to rest. Tsuna… I want you to forgive and forget me, cause from here on out I won't be the person you knew twelve months ago. So don't come back.

Tsuna sat in his office chair for what seemed like years just merely a few hours complementing what he had heard from the one person he wanted most in the world even if she hid from him for a year.

"Haru." Her name passed through his lips and left a sore ache in his heart. Seeing her that flimsy red nightgown that barely covered her thighs, and the fact that she was drunk and he had to say it vulnerable and he hated to admit sexy even. Vulnerable. She was so damned vulnerable. And she let out her true feelings to me or well a complete stranger named after a fish. If it was anyone else, I'm pretty sure that any warm blooded man would try and have his way with her, like that bastard Kurosaki. He thought clenching his fists at the mere thought. I never forgotten the details of that night, and to her face bruised and her dress torn into rags, if that man hadn't escape… I would have actually considered handing him to Xanxus and the others, and ordering them to torture him. Tsuna shook his head. I shouldn't be having these thoughts. I won't fall into that hole in that abyss again.

Consume with his thoughts he barely noticed that Ryu came in until the elder man spoke, "You're thinking about her aren't you?"

"You know she's doing this because of you. To avenge your death and her mother's." Tsuna stated while ignoring the comment made earlier.

"I know." Ryu closed his eyes momentarily.

"Why didn't you go to her? It would have bought her some relief to know that her father was alive."

"If I did then the whole purpose of staying 'dead' wouldn't have any meaning."

"Purpose? If you wanted purpose then you could have been at Haru's side when she needed you the most!"

"You don't think I've tried, I searched everywhere for her and her mother," Ryu looked down to his shoes, "By the time I did find her the damage was done. I couldn't go back cause I knew she'd be angry at me."

"She wouldn't have been angry at you for long, Ryu-san."

"No she's just like Ayame, her mother. Women can and will hold a grudge to their last breath, why do you think Haru's going after Masaru Kurosaki even after all these years of hiding? A grudge is a grudge."

"Then I'll make her let go of that grudge, even if it takes me years. I can't let the grudge that Haru holds consume her, I won't lose her again. Now if you'll excuse I have to get ready." Tsuna said determined before getting up, and went to prepare for his birthday party.

When Ryu heard Tsuna close the door behind him, the former Mare consigliere chuckled, "How cute."

Ryu's expression changed as he glanced towards the window looking straight at his reflection. "Will he succeed in what I couldn't do?"

A few hours later, a hand was shaking my shoulder, and I groaned, "Who?"

"It's time to wake up, Haru."

"Shamal?" My eyes cracked open to the man in a suit. "Why are you dressed like that? A date?"

"No… An escort." I swung my legs over to the carpet floor, steadying myself for the killer headache that came upon my body moments later.

"For who?"

"You, obviously."

"Where are we going?"

"To a party."

"…What's today?"

"October 14." I quickly wrapped myself in the hotel blankets forming a cocoon, I grunted, "There's no way, I'm going there."

"I knew this would happen. Go ahead Katharine, Nathan." I felt four arms lift me into the air and the familiar voices of Katharine and Nathan apologizing and saying that it was for my own good. "How the hell is this for my own good? Katharine, Nathan I order you to put me down! Shamal you can't make me go there!"

"Yes, I can Haru."

"We're going to have to disobey that order, Ojou-sama / Haru-sama. It's customary for you, a bid time mafia boss to be at a big time mafia boss's birthday party!"

"NOOOOO!" I shouted knowing it was no use, but a girl can scream for help when she's being forced to go to a birthday party she never wants to go to again. Helpless I let them unwrap the blanket cocoon and I had no choice but to get dressed into this beautiful red illusion halter with a charmeuse trim and beading that was below my chest along with a broach in the middle of the beading. The trio got me into the limo and started the engine, I wanted to get out and hide for the next three more years, but I sat there thinking. Shouldn't I be happy? To get a chance to see him, but against my will? Damn it all. I can't. No I refused to have him let me back into his life again. He was always so damned forgiving. I already told him why I didn't want to see him, even when I was drunk I could still see that spiky soft brown hair under that orange hat. Unless...

"Shamal, did you organize this?" That grin on his face confirmed my suspicions as I shouted, "Shamal!"

"Too late to back out now, Haru. Plus it's a formal occasion!" My consigliere sang. It didn't take long for us to reach that every same mansion I had been kidnapped three hundred and sixty-five days ago. I unconsciously started to clench my hands into fists trying to suppress the anxiousness and shaky fear that was quickly rising inside of me. We walked into the mansion, and I felt stares and heard the whispers.

"There she is... The Mare heir."

"She resembles Ayame-sama alot."

"I heard she bombed a gang's front door just to talk to their leader... Reckless and scary..."

"How bold... I heard she broke an assassin out of prison. I heard the Vindice are still pissed about that, while trying to do damage control."

My eyes scanned the ballroom instinctively, and then I spotted him surrounded by women and men giving their congratulations on turning 26. I stood there froze my body just stiffened at the sight of him. Right then and there I wanted to run and jump out of the window that was just a few feet to my right, if it weren't for Shamal flanking my right side and Nathan doing the same on the opposite side. I felt sick, like bile was in my throat. I couldn't stand to see him dressed in a suit with a glass in his hand with that sickening small smile plastered on his face as he walked towards me. "Hello Haru."

I swallowed trying to moist my suddenly dry throat, "Hello Tsuna."

I'm thinking about doing flashback scenes that narrates Tsuna's experience without Haru during the past year, tell me what you think by dropping a review.