Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or Breaking Dawn books. They and they characters mentioned in this book are the creation of Stephanie Meyer. I also do not own any of the song lyrics that made be mentioned in this story.

Also, the links for the songs are on my profile page so you can get a feel for the mood I wanted to get across.

Lastly… please, please, please review. I like knowing what's going on in your heads so I know if I'm making things interesting. :)

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Chapter Eleven: Uncontrollable

Bella's POV

Anger filled me. It filled every limb of my body. Adrenaline coursed through my veins and malice pooled into my mouth as I watched him embrace that Siren. Ignominy crossed his face as I watched him slowly turn to look at that… at that… whore.

I picked myself up and ran out of his room. I ran down the stairs as fast as I could and out the door. I didn't know where I was going considering he could catch up to me no matter how fast I ran or how far. That was if he was following me but something told me not to worry about that.

I ran as fast as I could to create as much distance between him and me as I could. Tears filled my eyes as I ran, occasionally shooting glances over my shoulder to see if Edward was behind me. I clearly wasn't watching where I was going so I ran into something that felt like a stone wall.

I fell flat on my back as I looked up and saw Jasper standing over me. Pain was etched into ever feature of his perfect face. I could only assume that I was the one causing him to ache. Every wave of emotion that rolled off of me was filled with it.

He reached out for my hand. I looked up at it; questioning it. Eventually, I grabbed his hand and let him pull me up. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable so I stood there, with my head turned and hands shoved into my pocket. I figured it was a pointless gesture since I was making myself uncomfortable and because I was standing in front of an Empath, I was making him uncomfortable as well. I then looked at him and I was suddenly angry with him. I didn't know why. He didn't do anything to me, I'm sure he would've told me if he would've known.

After a long moment, I felt his arms around me, pulling me to his chest. I lost it. I threw my arms around his waist and I cried. I cried for being stupid, I cried for Edward's idiocy, I cried because of that brainless, beautiful vampire that was kissing my Edward. I cried for so many reasons and I didn't know how to stop. I sobbed uncontrollably for a long time and Jasper just let me. He didn't try and alter my feelings, he didn't push me away, he just let me cry and get it all out. Jasper Hale, the same vampire that almost killed me, just stood there and let me cry with my arms wrapped tightly around his waist. If I wasn't so consumed with my emotions, I would've been happy for him and his progress but like I said, I was lost.

Eventually I calmed down on my own accord. I looked up at Jasper and smiled.

"Thanks," I said quietly.

He smiled a little in return.

"Alice finally shared her vision today. We were hunting and she stopped suddenly. She quickly told me what was happening and that I needed to rush back here and help."

I looked up at him; curiosity was spread across my face. I didn't have to ask him why she said he had to find me because he answered the question for me.

"She knew you'd be mad at her for not warning you so she wanted me to come and try to help with your feelings. I know you're mad at her, I can feel it. I'm mad at her too but she said her and Edward were trying to prevent this from happening. For what it's worth, she's sorry and you know she wouldn't do anything to intentionally hurt you."

"I know," was all I could get out and it was the truth. I knew that was the truth but regardless, she did hurt me. She helped that slut rip out my insides without even knowing it.

I flopped down on the ground and placed my head between my legs, trying to breathe in and out regularly. I was exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster that Edward had sent me on. I looked up and noticed Jasper staring at the ground, clearly indecisive. Finally, Jasper shrugged and set down beside me. He looked extremely uncomfortable at having to sit on the ground and get his clothes dirty.

I laughed a little, even though it hurt. "You don't have to sit on the ground Jasper, I understand."

He smiled, "It's alright. I can handle a little dirt. Alice will probably throw these away anyhow since she doesn't let me wear the same thing twice."

"Yeah…" I sighed. We sat in silence for a few minutes.

"What am I going to do Jasper?" I leaned my head against his shoulder and breathed deeply, he smelled of citrus.

"You need to talk to him. You don't know what's going on through his head; it might not be what you think."

"Well, what do you think it is?"

He hesitated for a second, looking for the right words to say.

"I think that Edward would also not do anything to intentionally hurt you." Jasper was such a gentleman, still trying to defend his brother even if Edward was in the wrong.

"I can't talk to him right now Jasp. It hurts to bad."

"I know, let me take you to your dorm. I'll talk to Edward and tell him to give you space, okay?"

"Thanks Jasp."

"You're welcome."

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I cried myself to sleep that night. Sobs became an unavoidable part of it. As soon as I walked through the door, the sobs hit me. I stumbled to my desk and leaned over it with my palms gripping the sides. I was struggling to breathe again. I tried to hold it all in until Jasper dropped me off. It was hard, but I managed to keep myself together, even though Jasper said that he didn't mind me expressing my feelings. I assured him that I was okay and he let it go.

I realized that I had been hunched over the desk, sobbing, for awhile and it was becoming uncomfortable. I didn't want to cry anymore, I didn't want to think it was over between me and Edward. I wanted to believe it was all a misunderstanding even if the signs clearly pointed to our downfall.

My head went up slightly, raising my gaze. My eyes landed on the picture frame that Renee bought me for graduation. It held the picture of me and Edward on my 18th birthday; the picture that I treasured the most.

My nose began to flare as anger and the feeling of betrayal overtook me. I picked up the picture of Edward and me. My fingers went directly to Edward and grazed over his face before the rage was more than I could take. I threw the frame at the door. It shattered into a million pieces, sailing into all corners of the room.

It felt good to release my feelings; so good that I looked for something else to throw. I noticed some CDs that I had left on my desk. They were the perfect object to throw; especially since they were from Edward. I flung each one of them against the door, relishing in the site of them flying across the room in pieces.

I scavenged my room looking for things that Edward had given me and I broke them. I broke them all; just like he had broken my heart… again. It was like he picked up my heart and flung it against the door to watch it shatter into a million pieces.

The glass resembled my heart in so many ways and it made me ache even more when I came to that comprehension.

I found more things to destroy and I did. I destroyed them with so much force that my arm began to hurt. I looked around my disastrous room and fell to the floor, clinging to the one thing I couldn't bring myself to annihilate.

I looked at the bracelet resting in my hand and fingered the charm that Edward gave me. It was a diamond heart that was his mothers. It was stunning and resembled him in every way. It was a cold, hard, stone that sparkled in the light.

As much as it hurt to think about, I always knew that I didn't deserve Edward. Just like when he left me the first time, I believed that it was because I always knew that it was too good to be true. That there was always the possibility that he would find someone else to be with that was more beautiful. That was more like him… a beautiful, goddess, Siren vampire that would claim his heart in a way I could never do. I always knew it was a possibility, I just never thought it would all happen like this.

I muted a sob as I found the other charm on my bracelet. It was a small, wooden wolf that Jacob had carved for me.

"Jacob," I whispered.

It was only Monday and I needed him. I needed him now more than ever. I wanted to get into my truck and drive to him and hide from everything. I knew that I couldn't so I settled for just hearing his voice.

I crawled across the floor and found my purse. The phone was still set on vibrate from when I had class earlier that day, when things were better. I noticed had a missed call from Jasper. I assumed that he figured out that I wouldn't want to talk on the phone to anyone so he also sent a text message to me.

Alice wants you to call her when you're up to it. She really is sorry.

I sighed deeply and texted him back.

I know. I'll call her tomorrow.

After I texted Jasper and Alice I dialed Jacob's number and waited for him to answer.

"I notice Edward hasn't tried to call me," I mumbled.

Jacob picked up the phone.

"Hello," Jake answered.

"Hi Jake, it's me." My voice cracked on the last word.

"Bella? What's wrong?"

"Jake… I really need to talk to you. You won't believe what happened."

"I'm here Bells, you can talk to me."

Jake and I talked for an hour about everything that had happened. He was furious of course and it took everything in me to convince him not to get in his Rabbit and drive up tonight; even though I really wanted him to.

"Jake, I just really need to be alone tonight okay? I promise I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay Bells, get some rest and please call me soon," Jacob responded.

"Yeah, okay. Later Jake."

"Bye Bells."

Like I said… that night I cried myself to sleep.

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Cry – Kelly Clarkson

If anyone asks, • I'll tell them we both just moved on • When people all stare • I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk • Whenever I see you, • I'll swallow my pride and bite my tongue • Pretend that I'm okay with it all • Act like there's nothing wrong

Chorus:
Is it over yet? • Can I open my eyes? • Is this as hard as it gets? • Is this what it feels like to really cry? • Cry?

If anyone asks, • I'll tell them we just grew apart • Yeah what do I care • If they believe me or not • Whenever I feel • you're memory is breaking my heart • I'll pretend I'm okay with it all • Act like there's nothing wrong

Chorus

I'm talking in circles • I'm lying, they know it • Why won't this just all go away?

Chorus